Need fast etiquette help regarding Catholic funeral and rosary
rosemaryt
13 years ago
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13 years agoRelated Discussions
Seeing a Loved One After They Passed Away
Comments (186)My father died 25 years ago yet every time I talk with him during the day as if he’s alive he visits me in my dreams. he left my young mother who was 11 years younger and each time I dream of him he has a message for me for my mother. he cane to me in a dream one night.. the dream was he was sleeping in a hotel with my mother and I walked into their bedroom. I saw my mothers diamond which shone brightly. The next day we hung out and I looked at the diamond my father had given her and one large diamond was missing. We had done some errands and I pointed out to her the diamond was gone. She went home very sad and crying. while in my vehicle picking up my daughter I looked in the cup holder and to my surprise the diamond was in the cup holder. Just recently I moved onto my mothers house downstairs. The week before at my former apartment I saw many pennies and 1111 cane to me via clocks and phones. I thought of my father who must be happy that I’m moving in. One morning I awoke and I sat up in bed at 7 am and next to me was my father holding a small suitcase. Beyond him was the closet but the closet was not a closet but a it was a portal. Around the portal was a white circular light that had depth and he was standing in it with his head to the side. I looked in awe and I blurted DAD.. and he was standing in a beautiful suit with a hat like he was 40 years old. I was so awestruck. I jumped out of bed and he disappeared. later that day when in work I looked at the calendar and realized it was his birthday November 14...I was so blessed!! He cane to tell me it was his birthday. I was in the hospital when he took his last breadth. Soon after he cane to me in a dream and he was still sick but he had angel wings and I was touching them and they were pinching my fingers I asked him When are you going to heaven and he said 40 days in a whisper twice he said that. When I went to the priest to ask him what this meant the priest responded that the soul stays on earth 40 days and then goes to heaven (catholic). And Greek When he was dying I had an out of body experience. My body was floating in the hospital room above him. I felt every breadth he took as if we were one. I traveled with him to heaven. I saw beautiful colors and we were traveling over incrediblly vivid landscapes and my brain knew that his brain was entering a beautiful vista of colors and I was flying over heaven with him. I will never forget this out of body experience. Don’t know how it happened or why but I know there is another existence beyond our comprehension as humans. When I awoke that morning I was on the floor and my legs were on the bed. I awoke and went to the hospital and he died at 2 :44 pm. I knew he went to the other side. I was there with him. After that day I knew that the spirit of man lives .. it never dies. Their dna lives in each and every one of us. We have to connect in spirit to live with them. They will come to you. All you have to do is ask them to come!! Talk to them. Ask them questions and be patient for their answers. Each time I go to the cemetery I talk to him like he’s alive and I ask him to give me a sign that he hears me. Every time he responds by the sun breaking through the clouds and it is the cloud of an angel in the sky or two birds landing on his grave stone or a wind pushing a branch over his grave stone or something beyond comprehension. Talk to them like they are alive and you will see or hear something extraordinary. Trust yourself and your belief in a higher dimension and you will never be lonely!! I always believed an will continue to believe that the dead are not dead but live in every one of us. The dead have more power than the living. You just have to tap into it! Don’t cry act like they are still here. They can hear you!! Be blessed!!❤️...See MoreReorg of family relationships!
Comments (26)Sovra (and Talley Sue), Your point is well taken. I would never hurt my MIL, which is why in fact I haven't ever told her of the humiliating experiences I've had with two of her sons. (They however, have no problem sharing their feelings.) We spend a lot of time with her individually, picking her up and taking her home in a town which is three hours from here; Respectfully listening, while she talks about her favorite subjects which are her grandchildren, whom we've never been allowed to have a relationship with. I remember a conversation where my SIL said to her young son in front of us, ''Be nice to them, they might give you money some day.'' Inheritance/entitlements have always been a big topic of her conversations. My dh gives his mom extra money to live on every month, which no one knows about. Knowing how I feel about weddings (from many former soul-sucking wedding experiences where I have been used/abused in the past), my MIL knew I attended this wedding out of respect for her. We have shown up for the rest of the family, who have never called us directly and ignored us when we got there (which required a six hour drive and hotel stay every time.) One brother brings a ''friend'' every time he comes, who is a little brother substitute, because he is willing to be used if he can be included. In fact, he brought him to the wedding, even though he wasn't invited! One BIL made rude fu gestures to me at their dad's funeral, because I had a light hearted moment with his daughter while trying to fix our hair. This is the same one (who needed hearing aids at the time) who ''heard'' me say I thought their uncle was ignorant when what I actually said was I thought he was elegant. I completely understand this is a reflection on who he is, and not really about me. I don't have a mean streak, but I do sometimes tell people the truth (which I don't have a need to do always, especially when it doesn't change anything.) Sometimes it's truly best to say nothing at all. Neither am I passive aggressive, which is a common trait among those I get to deal with. My SIL hadn't attended a family function for six years, and I've shown up (to be abused) far more than she has. No, I can easily say with a clear heart this isn't the case. What's funny is my family may have treated me badly at times in the past (which happens in families), but they wouldn't even consider hurting my dh. ''He's a Prince'' is what I've heard for 27 years and he is highly respected. Some people are respectful, and others just believe ''It's All About ME(Them).'' What I believe is important is to maintain a relationship with my MIL, but what's good for her fantasy of her ideal family life, isn't good for anyone else, any longer. At some point you have to Just Say No....See MoreFather of the bride can no longer walk her up the aisle?
Comments (31)Thanks for the words of (mostly) support. Here's an update: I decided to go to the source for information. I sent an email to the Archdiocese of Phila asking what the facts are on this issue. The next day I got back what I believe was a 'form letter email' if you will. It basically stated that at present there is no rule either way on the wedding procession and that there will not be until new Marriage Rite (from the Vatican) is published in english. I sent a follow up on an unanswered question - can an individual parish pastor decide on his own to forbid the father escorting his daughter - if that is her desire? I also asked if this practice is 'not a part of the Marriage Rite' in the future, will there be any wiggle room that would let the father and daughter walk together; or would it be a sin or invalidate the ceremony? I got no response for several days. Since the original query was answered so promptly, I decided that in case I was now being ignored, that I would resend the same email with a header ( second request, third request, etc.) every day until I heard from them. Well, after a week, I got a response, a personal one this time. The Marriage Rite is published with individual differences in different countries according to local practices / customs. Again, there is no current policy addressing who walks with whom; walking with my daughter is no sin and it would not invalidate the ceremony even after the Marriage Rite is published. I gave a copy of the emailed response to a friend of my wife. Her daughter is going through the same thing. It's my hope that she shoves the email right under my pastor's nose and calls him out on it, but I don't know how confrontational she is....See MoreBeing coy about engagement? LONG
Comments (28)Update... I had a long talk with BF last night. It was a very difficult conversation in which he agreed with tears in his eyes that I was right and he was sorry that he didn't have money to buy me a ring as soon as he'd said he would. I told him that I was frustrated that we moved in together under one circumstance (getting engaged with a ring in February, which is what he had said) and because of unexpected increases in his bills and financial problems, and my own somewhat cold feet about potentially becoming a SM, things have been delayed and delayed. Although I am able to adapt to changing circumstances this is (a) embarrassing me in front of my friends and family and (b) making me feel like a hypocrite. As far as his side, he told me June, then September, then Christmas... I keep oscillating between hope and dread, and then thinking, fine, I don't want the stupid ring anyway, just forget the whole thing. So what if we get engaged? Because I am not marrying him with 5-figure debt anyway, and it will take him 2-3 years to get out of it, so we might as well just work on our conflict resolution skills and stick this out together. His finances are being reviewed by his new financial planner who is going to make a suggestion to him on a couple of different ways he could go as far as a combination of debt snowballing, debt reduction and debt consolidation this coming Friday afternoon. I looked at his monthly budget with him last night and I have to admit that even I was shocked. There are too many minimum payments per biweekly pay period that are just too high to squeeze all in - I honestly don't know how he has been making it, and we live together!! I am surprised he never tried to borrow money from me - but glad too that he is working it out on his own. Although I did consider moving out as something of a "motivational tool" for him to clean up his financial act, and showing him that I deserve better, I felt at the end that it would just make me materialistic and selfish. He already knows that I am at the end of my rope!! He offered to move out and continue paying rent and bills to the end of our lease, but in my heart that really wasn't what I wanted. I just want him to be honest and not overly-optimistic about his situation. He is in a bad place - some of it is his own fault, but not all. We do not have joint debt, we do not have children together, and I am getting done the things I need to do. It is not going to hurt me to stick by his side when in 90% of our relationship area he is doing great. Also, at the end of the day, he has been doing everything I have asked him to do, i.e. involve a professional or team of professionals because it is clearly beyond his realm. After much discussion, I decided that we should continue to live together, and work on getting mostly out from underneath our debt over the next year, and not discuss marriage or getting engaged again until that time. I just don't see it happening. By next year at this time I will be out of debt myself, other than student debt, and will begin saving for a house. If there has not been significant progress in his financial picture (his money management style as much as anything else) I told him that it will really be a dealbreaker for me. He was not thrilled with that but agreed. I know that he has been very humbled and embarrassed by all this, and frankly he put up with a lot of humiliation that a lot of guys wouldn't have. I said a lot of things I wanted to say, but I also said a couple of things that I should not have said, and I regret that - namely rubbing it in that he did everything for his first wife to have a big diamond and be a SAHM, and all I get is the debris that's left. He should have told me that was a cheap shot, and challenged me whether deep down I wanted to really set a date with or without a ring, but he just said he was sorry and that he understood whatever way I went. He has proposed to me 100 times, and still somehow I don't feel like it is settled. Summary: I'm either a victim, or I make a decision based on how it feels to live in my skin every day. So I made a decision. I didn't get much sleep last night....See Morejannie
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