I guess the showers I've been to are different from the ones other posters attended -- maybe this varies by community, too. I have rarely seen any games; the showers I've gone to have all been just refreshments, conversation, and opening gifts. The closest thing I remember to a game was a bridal shower where we each had to draw a slip of paper out of a hat with a marriage-related topic on it and give the bride a piece of advice on the subject (I think she was the only unmarried one there). It was fascinating, especially hearing from the oldest people. I don't know if the bride was listening, but I was! I would probably find most actual games kind of silly, but they wouldn't bother me, and I would participate cheerfully. The thing that I would find offensive is a "shower" at which the gifts are not opened in the guests' presence. As has been said many times on this board, showers are the only exception to the rule against including instructions to bring a gift on any invitation, because obviously that's the point and main event of a shower: watching the guest(s) of honor open the gifts. Calling the party a shower and then not having the honoree(s) open the gifts is more like a party with an admission charge than a shower. I once was a co-host of a large party for a couple, which fortunately got changed from a "couples shower" to just a party in their honor. The bossiest person in the group was insisting that we call it a "couples shower," but not open the gifts -- I think that she felt that that was not appropriate for a coed or large group or something? I don't recall. Perhaps that is where I got the idea that people feel like showers are beneath men's dignity or something. But anyway, several of us were very uncomfortable at the idea of calling it a shower (let alone "couples shower") and then not opening gifts -- one way or the other, we felt. Fortunately, someone else spoke up about it, so I didn't have to! When the bossy person said, "But then how will the guests know they are supposed to bring a gift?" everyone was grossed out enough to agree with the objector, and that was that. And then I didn't even have to say anything about "couples," because the bossy person didn't seem to feel the need to call it a "couples" party.

Thanks all! My Colorado friend and I were discussing this long distance today. Now, the Colorado couple does not know any of these people, but they are the kind of folks that take to, and enjoy and develop friendships from just such experiences. As an aside, although they won't attend the actual wedding (father of bride told me the guest list was full ((and quite frankly, that is OK with my Colorado friends))), they will be coming to the next day's post-wedding picnic and gathering in the Beaujolais country,complete with continued partying as guests of our host. (Geeze, these French do continue their parties!). They want also to bring a present to the hosts, as some of you suggested, and I'm sure a card or greeting to the newlyweds. Anyhow, we talked of our respective gifts. I am thinking of bringing some Georgia peach preserves, or vidalia onion chutney, maybe Georgia pecans, etc. Small, easy to tote. A photo of their daughter with us during her internship time sounds good too. (Something consumable, something permanent). My Colorado friend allowed as how they have buffalo products there, as befits the area. She's thinking of some buffalo jerky or other preserved meat. (Heck, I'd like to try Buffalo jerky!). Anyone else have any good ideas what would be Coloradoan? Or Georgian? Or have we hit upon enough ideas to mark the experience adequately?

Thanks everyone! I HOPE they like the gift....BAMA: Work under pressure? Me? It is SO bad for you--makes me want to eat ANYTHING and EVERYTHING! SHRTY: I started a counted cross stitch sampler for my one and only niece just after she was born--she's about 9 now and I haven't finished it. Am I EMBARRASSED?! I think I'll give it to her for her 16th! So, don't procrastinate like me and get busy woman! CALAM: Yes, the metal flowers are from Mexico--painted my special way. Those do-hickies are called milagros and I haven't done anything with mine yet. I musta bought a hundred! You know I have that CD but have yet to look at it. BAD Pat! CINDYLW: The kitties did keep me occupied (I can see how old ladies leave all their money to animal charities--our local shelter was broken into and some of the animals hurt and stuff stolen--the radio station was collecting at the local SONICS yesterday--I gave them a BUNCH of moolah because I was heartbroken! BUT I kept positive thoughts about the kittens we had to place there.) and we just took our inside cat Buddy and outside mama cat LADBYBUG to board at the vets while we're in Ga for the wedding. Just call me "softie". CRACKPOT: I put a photo of the columns just after the grouted cake cover in my album. That paint is still going strong. I was sorta thinking I might need some closer to the house by the front door--don't know how that would fly w/dh. The grout on the cake cover is a tad light--I might paint wash it darker. We'll see. Here is a link that might be useful:

Don't mind being named. Karen, I think the other sans is trifasticata. I did spray with Bayer insecticide and it left a slight whitish mark on some of the leaves. I just water with this stuff at least twice every year to keep bugs away. Last year I water with insecticide and fertilize and mouthwash and the mix did in several of my hahnii group. I did this early in the winter and slowly watch them die in a 3 to 4 month period. Learned my lesson the hard way. I will never use chemical fertilizer again. I always over do things. Best to use so little that it seems to have no effect but could always do it again in a month or so.