I have posted already but going down again I am crying, but strangly not for me! death is something swept under the carpet at times, don't talk about it but to shot, last year I had a work friend who I shared my office with died. about a month before I had my leaving do, and she came along, we all knew her diagnosis, but I found myself deep in conversation with her, about what is important in life how she would like her funeral to go, what she would like to do before she died (she managed to get Married the week before she died, 3 weeks after this convo) was she scared cos I know I would be...after about an hour of us talking about this, my kids and work thrown in I suddenley thought "oh no this inapropriate I am probably upsetting her? as it was me asking all the inital questions and her answering but leading to a conversations, so I asked? am I upsetting you? No she said it refreshing to hear someone who wants to discuse how I feel about this rather than trying to talk about things I really don't care about anymore! my life can not be shallow anymore it has to be something! no wasted moments! and then I understood! I had been asking her these question to almost I suppose trying to confirm how I had tried to be open and honest with my parents in the run up to their deaths and feeling well...cruel! but she made me realise that if a person with a terminal illness doesn't want to talk they will change the subject. It can help us to talk to a person who knows they are dieing, god knows, I could have a heart attack tomorrow! for me with my guilt of my parents, and did I do right? and for me and my mortality! rest assured hubby knows what I want... cremation and there are companies that can mix your ashes with gun powder to make a firework and that what I want, they can also make you into a diamond, but I would worry hubby might make me into an engagement ring for his next wife! haha! so what I am saying if someone know they are dieing talk to them about it and other stuff, if they don't want to talk they will tell you, don't just keep refering to that, you and they have a life still and in many ways and this sound strange but I think I benefited more than Jules! but I will never know?

I agree with Anettemartinrn, whether the original story of Kathy West is true or not is trivial. Ovarian cancer is true and the fact that it is almost a totally silent cancer is just as true. How do I know? I have it. And I had no signs in the beginning. Most of you will not recognize my name - I used to post here years ago and only recently began lurking again. Last fall, I started to have serious pain when having a bowel movement. Thinking I had Irritable bowel syndrome, I let it go for a few weeks before finally making an appt. with a gastroenterologist. It was only then discovered after a series of tests that I have advanced cancer. By the time I found out I had it, it had already spread throughout my peritoneal cavity. I immediately went to Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer. The doctor told me most women 'present' as Stage 3 or even 4 because it's very hard to detect in the early stages. I had an extremely painful operation on January 2. They literally opened me from my groin to my rib cage, took every single organ out, and removed all the visible tumors. They were everywhere, my abdominal lining, my bladder, my colon (they had to resection a part of it), my diaghragm, and a tissue inside my abdomen called the 'omentum' which was also removed. I'm still not recovered from the operation, yet had to start my first round of chemo on February 5. I will have to go through 6 rounds of chemo. The first round has sucked; I cannot imagine what it's going to be like to go through the next 5. Once this cancer is in Stage 3, the return rate is really high and the 5-year survival statistics are not good. I can't even begin to express how depressed and angry I've become, how in fear for my life I am every single day, not knowing what's going to happen with me. I've never been sick in my life, always healthy. I ate right and exercised. I'm only 43 years old. I too was discouraged by my gynocologist from taking the CA125, because of the false positives. If I had the chance do it again, I'd take that CA125 anyway, false positive or not, even if I had to pay for it out of my own pocket. I would have insisted. I wish it would become a mandatory test.

Glad to hear your mom is hanging in there, Clare. Those old gals are tough, aren't they?? My mom is 88 and two years after open heart surgery, she is still on her own in the home I grew up in. This is such a rude question, but do you have any brothers or sisters who are fairly well off and who might consider buying you a ticket to fly out to see your mom? Sure would do you a world of good right now, but I'm not sure how you could ask, unless you get another sibling to broach the subject. I don't know how close you all are-- it sounded like you might be from your previous posts. We are so lucky that my dh found another job just before the big downturn, but are always holding our collective breath. Is your dh still driving you nuts or have you all settled into a routine? Because mine was still recovering from the surgery I mentioned before, he wasn't as agitated as he might have been and I learned to do errands out at certain times. I know the pickings are slim right now and we can only hope things will improve soon. I hope you can get even a day away from home to rest and recharge. Now that the sunshine has reappeared, you can at least find a little solace in the garden!

I agree with the idea of going to a veterinary dermatologist, and you can try several approaches to helping your dog (often trying them all at the same time works well). First of all, though food allergies do occur, MOST skin allergies are NOT related to food (90%). But if it were a food allergy, changing brands of food is rarely going to help, as most of the time dogs are allergic to an ingredient in the food, not a brand of food. Common ingredients implicated in food allergies are soy, wheat, beaf, chicken, turkey, and less often, corn and lamb, and least often, rice and other products. You will find most dog foods contain at least one of these items so swithching brands rarely (though possibly) resolves the problem for those 10% of itchy dogs who have any sort of food allergy. For the rest (90%) it is usually an enviromental allergy- atopy or flea allergy or house-dust mite allergy (sometimes it can be mange or something more serious, but mange is not seasonal and it is incredibly itchy- rarely ever would respond to cortisone). So for those dogs you can do multiple things. Best would be to move to a new cliamte... oh well, not usually an option for most people. Antihistamines are always a safe thing to add into the treatment mix, though they are not very strong medicine... just very safe (as long as you follow your vet's dosages- MORE is rarely better with antihistamines and can really create some bizarre manias if overdosed). Long term use of antihistamines is very safe. Fatty acid supplements are likewise very safe, though sort of slow to help out. Still, good for lots of things (joints, kidneys etc.) other than just allergic skin. Fish oil (primarily Salmon oils) are the best. Cod Liver oil is NOT a good choice- too much vitamin A and can end up being very toxic. Antibiotics are almost always a good idea when skin is getting scabby or raw, and can help with the itch as well as get rid of the secondary Staph infections... antibiotics should be used precicely as your vet recommends, and often for months at a time (1 week of antibiotics rarely end up doing anything worthwhile). Most cases I refer to the derm clinics that end up on antibiotics are on a 2-4 month course of therapy, sometimes indefinite. Shampoos are rarely that useful in treatment of allergies, as most, if not all, further dry the skin and make it itchier. They can rinse off antigens, and help get rid of infections, but usually need to be followed by conditioners if they are not going to contribute to the problem rather than help it. Topical sprays can be useful for focal allergic spots, but rarely are useful for 'whole body' itching. Some have cortisone and antbiotics in them, and are really pretty good at helping, at least a lot more so than over-the-counter products. And lastly, of course are the 'strong meds' like cortisones and cyclosporines... these are meds with potential side effects so using them has to be done under close veterinary supervision. Often using all of the above is needed for severe allergy dogs. The veterinary dermatology specialist will help you diagnose the problem, first, and then prescribe appropriate treatment. Good luck!