I kind of understand where you're coming from. My sister is a great hostess and gives dinner parties often. My mother did holiday dinners and occasionally had close friends over for dinner. In my opinion if you open your home to friends or family and take care with the food you serve, people should be greatful to be included and look askance at your house being too small.

I never had the kind of social group that had dinner parties but now I take turns hosting small dinners with three of my widowed friends. We meet ever other Wednesday night for dinner in one of our houses. I have also hosted cocktail-type get togethers. Entertaining is a lot of work and I'm not surprised that you have had very few people reciprocate. Your efforts should make you feel good. When they stop doing that, you will stop doing it.

I should. I used to live by Erma Bombeck's writings:

If I Had My Life To Live Over
by Erma Bombeck
The following was written by the late Erma Bombeck
after she found out she had a fatal disease.

If I had my life to live over, I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television - and more while watching life.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love you's".. More "I'm sorrys" ...

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute... look at it and really see it ... live it...and never give it back.

Having friends over for dinner is my favorite way to entertain. It does take work, but in our home, we can control the ambient noise level and not worry about how loud our voices and laughter are. I love setting a pretty table and I like to collect tableware to use for that purpose.

My kitchen isn't tiny in square footage, but all of the appliances are small and I only have one oven. I have to tailor my menus to the appliances I have available. A few years ago, I added a portable warming drawer to my kitchen gadgets and that has been a huge help as items that hold well can be kept warm while the oven is freed up to cook other dishes.

Dear Ms. Bombeck in Heaven: No, you wouldn't. You only think you would. *Somebody* (you) had a lot on her plate to keep the wheels rolling for your family. Unless you lived Upstairs and had a Downstairs staff, you didn't have time for all those 'precious moments'. We 'know you' from your writing; I'd guess you were a loving, open person.

When I had a rare type of tumor removed, she actually said exactly what I felt. Especially "There would have been more "I love you's".. More "I'm sorrys". Just add more "thank yous". She really knew it. I've become too complacent in my elan now that I am far enough removed to have forgotten what it felt like to have it slip away right in front of you. Seize the moment. Not just the day! No one notices your spots. They're too busy being focused on YOU. Go for it!!!

I love to entertain, every aspect of it. The planning, decorating and setting a pretty table, shopping, and cooking. The guests are the most important part of the pleasure, so I love spontaneous get-togethers, too.

Our home is small, but I can make it pretty accomodating for smallish gatherings. We use the outdoor space a lot, when possible. I have a small galley kitchen that I actually like!

Since we have the bigger house, I hostess the family holidays and several birthdays too. I love to set a pretty table, but nowadays, the "kids" have learned that I need help. I use a lovely old Haviland Limoges china set that my DH bought me because it reminded me of my grandmother's china. I also love to use my mother's silver serving pieces and a few cut crystal plates and bowls I inherited too.

My sister brings the dessert, salad and vegetables, and my DIL will sometimes bring freshly baked yeast rolls, all of which are a big help. Our kitchen has 2 ovens, and I could not do holiday meals without them. When we bought our house, the developer gave us a choice of two wall ovens or a wall oven with a built in microwave. Since it is a large kitchen with lots of counter and island space, I opted for the 2 wall ovens and have never regretted it. I just put our microwave in a deep corner on the long counter.

I am hosting a party at our house on the 18th of this month. I contacted 12 friends, some know each other and some don't, but they all know me. I'm so excited and they all seem to be too. I see them here and there, but just not as much as I would like to so I told them all that we are going to start having a party at our house once a month. The guest list may not always be the same depending on the theme of the party. This will be the first of many, I hope. I will have all finger foods, non alcoholic drinks, and loads of fun. Each guest will bring a wrapped gift. The gift can't cost over $3--the invitations I sent out said 'the tackier the better'. I'm so excited to get to spend time with friends--they could care less how my house looks. We are bringing the fun back!!!!

Do the best with what you have, at the time you have to do it with. Love spur of the moment gatherings, where nobody has time to clean, decorate, or be fancy. Smiles and fun are contagious.

People come for the company and then the food. They don't care if you have names for your dust bunnies, or dirty windows, they don't care if you have a small kitchen or an old one. People are just so excited that they were thought of by a friend and invited to spend some time with that person.

So right, Chisue!!

My bad back has cut way back on our entertaining schedule, but I still do Thanksgiving with help from dh and dd-s.

We do a moderate amount of entertaining, always in an informal way. Everyday dishes (which are very nice) and cheap-ish wine glasses from either Crate and Barrel or the local restaurant supply store are always used.

We try to have menus that are interesting and avoid any menu items that our guests might regard as same-old same old. My wife and I try to choose a menu that easily allows us to split food prep and cooking 50-50 between us.

Never.

I DID do a fancy breakfast once this summer for my recently married son and his new bride when they visited unexpectedly. They live about 2 hours away and drove up the evening before. I had about 24 hours notice, so I had time to get out my fancy dishes, tablecloth, cloth napkins, centerpiece, etc., etc. and set everything up on our screened in porch. It has twinkling xmas lights tacked up all around the ceiling and I turned them on. I told my son what I was going to do, but surprised the DIL. I found out DIL's favorite kind of juice and fruit, etc. and had them ready ahead of time. She was really surprised that morning.

It was fun. And I saw her slyly taking pictures of the table with her phone - I assume she was sending them to her mother. :) Score!