I believe that comment was directed at me so I am going to respond to KKNY here since doodle's thread is pretty long. Yes, I came to GW and posted a thread asking should I throw in the towel? I was frustrated. That's why most of us come here in the first place. We get frustrated. We need to vent or get support or ideas on how to deal with frustrating situations. For the most part, I think most people that come here want things to get better, just like I do. I think that's one of the GREAT things about a forum like this. It was never my idea to send SD back to her mom. It certainly isn't my decision to make. Being with her mother is something that SD wants. Unfortunately, her mother has not stepped up and shown that she wants to be a parent and my husband feels it's best for SD to be in a stable home with him. SM's don't get to decide if it's best for us. I know it's best for her to stay here, even if I get dragged through the mud from time to time. If I thought it would be best for her to be with her mom, I'd be there to support her in that, even if I had to convince my husband otherwise. But, I do support my husband because he's right, SD is better off with us right now. Sure, I'll admit that it would be easier for me if she went back to her mom. It would probably be less expensive to write out a child support check than what it costs me now, with school clothes, lunches, field trips, sports (& uniforms), scouts (activities & uniforms), haircuts, doctor visits, time off from work when she needs me, etc. It would be better for me, not better for her. That decision needs to be made by her parents and so far, her mom has done nothing to make it happen. She hasn't even tried to discuss it with my husband. The only indication she's given that she wants SD to live with her is written in a court paper she filed in response to his child support petition. She may now take steps to get custody because she doesn't want to pay child support but it's likely that if DH told her she didn't have to pay, she would not bother with trying for custody. She doesn't want the bother of being responsible for her children. She was annoyed constantly with SD over the summer and let her do anything she wants just to keep her out of BM's hair. When BM couldn't hack it anymore, she took SD to her BF's parents house, she didn't call DH and ask if he wants SD for a while so she can calm down. From the time I met her, BM would have bouts where she can't handle SD and send her to DH back when they were doing week on/week off. So, I'd agree that when she gave DH custody, she did the right thing for SD. Only SD doesn't understand and BM constantly gets her hopes up that she can be with her and then it doesn't happen, SD gets upset with me... she thinks it's my fault. That's what her mom tells her & I get to take the brunt of SD's anger over the situation, when in reality, I have no control. Yeah, it makes MY life harder, but maybe that's BM's objective. I'd hate to think she puts her kid on an emotional roller coaster for any other reason than to punish me. I hang onto the belief that she is ignorant of the pain she inflicts on her daughter by trying to piss me off or make my life hell. It would really be sad if she knew her daughter's pain and disregarded it because she doesn't like me. So, yeah I came here and vented and sought support because I was feeling like I couldn't take it anymore. I love this child and I feel her pain when her mom hurts her and for it, I get crapped on. I am very grateful to those that told me to hang in there and things have actually gotten much better in the last couple of weeks. I just needed someone to tell me it's gonna get better. My love for her is unconditional. I love my children unconditional but I don't allow them to treat me like crap, why would I allow my SD to? Teaching a child to treat others the way they want to be treated is a life lesson given out of love. If you don't teach children how to behave in life, the children are the ones that pay the price for that later on. If you allow them to become self centered, uncaring or mean spirited adults that never take responsibility for what they do, then their lives might be more difficult as not everyone in the world is going to love them unconditionally and forgive their rudeness or selfishness.

Beautiful! I'm about to redo most of my first floor in (~1000 sq ft) in wood-look tile. Great idea using two different sizes.

I'd go to sheet flooring (look at commercial products as well as residential) or the vinyl wood-look tiles. Or, look into "garage floor mats" and interlocking tiles. The local hardware store just did a refurb and have decent looking sheet flooring, wood look that is tough! There's a lot of muddy gritty traffic through there.

I ran into a couple of the Uncle Roger videos this past weekend. He's funny. Turns out Hersha, whom he panned her rice making, didn't get upset or if she did, it didn't last. She turned it around into her own humor and fun, and made friends with the guy who does the Uncle Roger act. Jamie Oliver remains silent... While I won't be making Oliver's egg fried rice, I did make his shepherd's pie in the past and it was GOOD. At least he knew to use lamb. I came back because last night I discovered a new channel: View from the Road. The woman who does this cooks mostly authentic Mexican, with some Tex Mex and some Korean-Mexican recipes (her children are Korean-Mexican), and a few other things. She seems worth following. And I forgot to mention "My Name Is Andong" - a YouTuber in Germany who tries a variety of foods and explains their "whys".