Nope, never. I never go through my wife's things, nor her email account, nor anything else. I never touched any of my kids' rooms or belongings while they were growing up and living with us.

For me, that's the Golden Rule in operation.

Personal no, charity, bills,etc. yes.

In all things, we adhere to, "What's mine is yours and what's yours is mine". The only exception is packages, because they often contain a gift one may have purchased for the other.

Personal mail, No. I have no reason to. He's never asked that I don't and I doubt he would care but I do not just on principal.

He does get work related mail and investment type mail addressed to him. That I usually will open and either take care of it or call it to his attention so he can. We have a small business and I do all the bookkeeping - because he has absolutely no interest in learning it. Same with the household accounts, he has no interest in bank statements, deposits, bill paid or not paid, balances.

But to your question, No, I don't have reason to open his personal mail any more than he would mine.

He throws the mail on my desk, I open it. If it looks personal, Birthday card or something, I hand it back to him.

Nope...never.
Nor does he open mine.

No never~~he gets boring mail.

Depends on the mail. DH usually opened his own, except bills etc then gave it to me if he thought something needed to be taken care of. I did the same. You cannot believe the junk, ads, especially for senior stuff, political stuff, I have received addressed to him since he passed away over a year ago. Much of it is information he or I never received before.

Sure, all the time, he opens mine too...

I'm the bill payer and records keeper, but I don't open anything that's not related to that. We know each other passwords for everything but I've never been curious to look at his email or any other account.

Whoever takes the time to sort the mail, opens all of it too. I also clean out his email accounts, they fill up with junk mail.

He NEVER opens mine...wont even get in my purse when I tell him to - he brings it to me.
ME on the other hand opens almost all the mail... His/mine/ours. The only exception is a hand written card or letter. And even then he usually lets it lie until I tell him to open it. (And THEN have to tell him to call his mom to thank her for the birthday wish) LOL

Yep. We also share a facebook account.

We have no secrets in our marriage. I do not open his personal birthday cards or letters. He wouldn't care if I did. We don't care one way or the other. But bills that are addressed to him I do open as they are ours. After 52 years of marriage there are no surprises in our mail.
Mary

Not personal mail - bills, etc. yes and he doesn't open mine.

Not personal mail, but bills ..yes. Since I take care of the bill paying chores. But sometimes things that look like personal mail, are just cleverly disguised advertisements!

Hi Jenna,

And he's not happy about your opening the cleverly disguised advertisements?

ole joyful

When my husband was alive either one of us would open bills and other business type mail. If something appeared to be personal (card, letter, invite etc) it was opened by the addressee.
If he wanted something from my purse he would ask me and if I wanted something from his wallet I would ask him.

He gets the mail in and either hands it to me or puts it on my desk, he looks through the letters and even if they are addressed to him he gives it to me. Then I look at the envelopes and anything not bill related with his name I hand to him. I have enough to deal with doing all the bills, appointments, schedules etc. He could care less and would prefer that I open it since most likely it's junk mail, but his is his. Neither of us could care less actually, we have nothing to hide, no secrets, I set up all of his computer accounts including personal email and thank goodness I keep track of his passwords at home because he keeps asking me for them, I gave him a password journal but he thinks asking me is easier.
Now at work he has to change the password on several business and bank accounts regularly, he has no problem with that.

I don't care if he gets in my purse, email or anything else, but he doesn't, same here. It's a non issue.

Personal mail...no. Bills, yes, because I handle all of them. He handles ads and most junk mail. Cards to me he doesn't open.

DH usually brings in the mail, dumps the junk, and opens general stuff, leaving it for me to handle (bills, etc.). If either of us gets the mail and sees something addressed *personally* to the other, that's not opened. This seems to have worked so far. It's been fifty years. But, who knows? "Things Change"! LOL

We operate under the same guidelines as snidely. (the second poster)

The only thing I might do is if junk mail addressed to DH is still on the counter a month after it has arrived I collect it all, show it to him, if he says no, he doesn't want it I get rid of it. It has nothing to do with secrets or lack there of in a marriage but rather respect.

No, I never did... except when he called, and asked me to open something and tell him about what is inside.

Moni

I open all the mail--he is almost always sitting next to me when I go through the mail. If he gets cards, I usually slit them open for him and let him take them out of the envelope. No secrets....

Bifenton, that's EXACTLY what I was going to say! I think we all operate under the same unwritten rules.

Robert often brings in the mail when he comes home from work. Sometimes, he'll hand me the whole pile, saying "It's all for you, sweetheart! " Junk mail and bills.

He's funny....I save him the utility bill, which includes water, electricity, and trash. He likes to see how well we've done at conserving water and power from month to month and I hate to spoil the anticipation.

Yes.

Don't want him opening mine though.

We both open each others stuff except for cards and such. We each have a credit card in our own names. We do not open these bills without first asking. This is because one time, I spent what he considered a lot of money. He opened my credit card bill and hit the roof. He was so angry with all the money I spent. I told him happy birthday - I spent it on his present. He felt like such a jerk. I had the money saved but I wanted to put it on my credit card because I had ordered it online. So, now we agree not to open each others credit card without first asking.

Our bills, yes. His work mail, no. His personal mail, no, although he doesn't mind if I do. Same goes for me. DH has always enjoyed getting the mail, sorting it and opening, so I would never want to take that little joy away from him :)

He plops it all down on my side of the DR table and I sort it and put the stuff addressed to him on his side. I open the obvious junk and throw it away. I get much more interesting mail than he does, but if he does happen to get something that piques my interest, I'm not above loitering around to see what it is when he opens it. :) He wouldn't care if I opened it, though. He's got nothing to hide.

As for my purse, if I tell him that what he wants is in it, he goes and picks up the whole purse with 2 fingers and brings it to me. Not sure why he won't reach in there himself, I don't keep a mousetrap in there and it's not messy! LOL

Never. Even if it's stupid stuff like "pre-approved credit card" mail or "switch to Charter Internet" spam snail mail.

I don't open anything personal like birthday cards, but I do open all the rest.

whoever gets the mail opens it. unless it's a birthday card or something personal. Oh, my dh doesn't open bills either...he doesn't care or want to know....he lets the bill payer (me) open those.

He doesn't get any mail except bills and if I didn't open them, they would never get paid. I am more apt to get personal mail than he is, and he doesn't open my mail, although I wouldn't care if he did. He never looks at my FB page or emails. If there is something funny on FB, I will call him to come see it, but he has no interest in the computer, except occasionally looking at ads for boats for sale and he looks at the same ones on the same site over and over. When my daughter was home, I never opened her mail...of course. I also never cleaned her room or snooped in any of her things. She usually kept her room tidy. I never had to tell her to clean it.

Nope, I do not open my wife's mail unless instructed to do so, Once in awhile, we do open each other car isurance notices if the wrong name is on top of the address list. We both own cars and have the ownerships registered in both our names as HIS or HERS (Not "and"). This way, in case something happens to either of us, the other spouse can take ownership without a fuss and sell the car if need be without probating through the court. On occassion, the insurance company gets the wrong name at the top of the address. Its no big deal - We merely hand over the piece as soon as the mistake is discovered.

I tell her that if she opens one of my bills, its ok to pay it - hasn't happened yet, her paying it, that is.

I basically open all the mail. If it's a birthday card or something similar, I may open and give to him or I may just leave for him to open. I open all the bills, even if they are addressed only to him. DH doesn't want to deal with the mail (he would if I insisted) and is more than fine with me opening everything. I would be fine if he opened something addressed to me too.

What is it with men and purses? I don't even carry a purse. I keep a CC, driver's license, insurance card, and cash in my cigarette case. I keep it in the console in my car. If hubby is going out for something and I tell him to grab a 20, he will go down two flights of stairs, up another flight, get my case, walk down the stairs, up the other two flights and hand me the case, to get him the 20. And then back down and up three flights of stairs to get in my vehicle and go get whatever he was after in the first place! I'm with FlamingO ~ I don't keep a mousetrap in there! LOL

I did not. Ever. Or go through his wallet, emails, or phone. I don't have anything to hide, but he refused to go through my purse even if I was busy and said its in the purse if you want to get it out (be it a kid toy for the baby/toddler, my ringing phone, money, etc.). So I modeled what seemed to want. No more reason than that.

Yes, I did. Still do, even though he passed away over 5 years ago.
*sigh*

if I didn't, he'd never would, lol..

.now having to do fil's mail as well! nothing but crazy junk mail and bills...at least he isn't getting the mail I found at his house! he was a junk mail magnet! I must have thrown away 2-3 trash bags full! (in 2 trips down there) and that was after registering him 2x on the anti-junk mail list...

Very early in our marriage, DH decided I was the official bill payer and he gave me permission to open everything with his name on. We have joint checking and savings accounts. The only thing he sees from the mail are his magazines or personal letters. I get the mail every day, sort out and toss junk mail, set the bills aside to pay and distribute any interesting or personal mail to the various family members- we are a family of four, hubby and me and our two grown daughters. Both daughters are currently on break-ups from their boyfriends and living at home.