I think you and your brother should try to find her. She probably wonders about her birth family. I had a friend who was adopted who started looking for her birth parents when she was around 50. She did find a couple of aunts but both birth parents had died. Her birth father was a priest and her 30 something birth mother had had an affair with him. She also was able to contact her uncle on her dad's side who also was a priest.
Another friend located the adult daughter she had put up for adoption as a newborn and they have had a good relationship.
over the years.

I would try to find her too,Marilyn-just be prepared for God knows what,I s'pose.

I'd try to find her. As for how to do that, is there any way to contact the home she lived in the first two years of her life? It always amazes me that people can find their birth parents so easily. I hope that's the case with you.

Oh my gosh! What a life story you have!! So, did your dad ever find out?? You should write a book! (and find Carol Christmas!).

It always amazes me that people would even consider continuing to hide such important, basic truths. We can deal with reality much better than lies or fantasies about the unknown.

It is very wise to consider all the possible outcomes for this.

IME with hundreds of adult adoptees and birth families in search of their *truths*, most were prepared for rejection by the 'found' person -- but acceptance is actually more complicated. Where does everyone 'fit' in the reconstituted family?

How inclusive will you all feel about the 'found baby' who is also an adult and a stranger? How will you relate to "Carol" (and her present family)?

Adoptees who were abandoned have no trail to follow through courts or agencies to find their birth family ties. You hold a key that rightfully belongs to "Carol" and her descendants..

"Carol" may not know she was adopted or the circumstances. If she knows she was abandoned, she probably has more than a few issues about that. Many adoptees have 'abandonment issues' although few actually were left in a public place.

You can prepare by learning about reunion issues as experienced by others. You can know how to proceed slowly in reunion, despite the strong emotions involved.

I'm unsure what adoption search and support groups exist in Texas today. The state has been notorious for sealed, secretive adoption. A prominent agency there is still 'accepting donations' in exchange for providing the 'anonymous' babies adoptive parents think they want.

Your library may have some books about search and reunion. "Google" can be your friend!

I'm urging you and your brother to spend a little time looking ahead to consider where this goes after you put the ball in "Carol's" court. Do find her directly, not via some controlling intermediary, and let her decide how to use HER key!

As to whether or not my dad ever found out....I wish I had asked my mother more about it, especially after I was grown enough to be more able to process the information she told me when I was about 10 years old. I think she probably did tell him. I mean, look she told me when I was just a kid.

The reason I think he found out was because my sister and him were never close. She married and lived about 7 miles away and used to come for holiday and weekend dinners but their relationship was always very strained. They hardly spoke to each other. I think this "colored" my sister for her entire life. She was a very withdrawn person and made many bad decisions in her life. She was her own worst enemy, and I can understand that better now, because I am sure she felt a lot of guilt.

We were never close....one thing, the age gap, so she was more like an aunt to me, but the last time I saw her, I went to hug her and she pushed me away, saying she had no family. She died a couple of years after that.

After this husband died, she married his best friend....an old bachelor, who had a little bit of money. They traveled a little and seemed to get along good, but he also died, and he hadn't gotten around to changing his will, and had left everything to his sisters. My sister got someone to forge a will and then sold the house she had with prior husband and sold the house she had with that last husband, and took off for North Carolina. Instead of buying a house there with the money from the sale of the two in Texas, she paid down on one, and then spent the rest of the money. She ended up trading her equity in the house for an old travel trailer and came back and parked it in my mother's front yard. So she went from having two houses (paid for) to having none.

Then she disappeared for 10 months....we had no idea where she was...and ended up homeless, living on the streets of Houston. She eventually came back but the rest of her life, she didn't have anything....lived in old motels and rented little trailers. I let her move here for 8 months. (She was living in a van.) She had two more children with the man she married after putting up the baby for adoption. They never worked and she was living on social security and every month they got new stuff...like jewelry for her daughter and CB equipment for her son.

I wasn't living here on the bayou at the time, but they turned it into a trash dump. Never offered to help me cut the grass or anything. So after 8 months, I told them they had to find somewhere else to live. She didn't like me much before then and she didn't like me at all after that.

So, since my sister was not a very stable person...for want of better words...and really what happened in 1949 was none of my business, even though I had always wanted to search for "the baby"....I couldn't because my sister.

What I would want from meeting Carol Christmas....is just to sort of bring closure to what has always haunted me since I found out, and hopefully for her. My brother is in his 80's, but he is still sharp for his age and he isn't someone that I'd hesitate for anyone to meet. I am a little different, I suppose, but I don't hurt anyone and I am very considerate of other people's feelings and I try to always be very kind.

After so many years, I doubt there is anyone left who actually remembers this story. My mother had told me that a family named Cunningham adopted the baby and she was happy about that because Cunningham was sort of an old money name in Houston, although I am sure there were poor Cunninghams as well as wealthy ones. In what little research I have done, I found out that a Betty Cunningham wanted to adopt the baby, because she herself had been abandoned. But, she was only 20 years old and that is also where I read that they had to wait for two years for legal purposes before they could put her up for adoption.

There was also a Houston police officer who had said he would never give up searching to find out who had abandoned the baby, but, of course, he never did find out and I am sure he is dead now.

The place where the baby was taken....I think the name was Strickland....I have it written down somewhere, no longer exists. My mother had said they were to take the baby to the "Faith" home and I think that was a Florence Critten home.

My oldest brother had a friend who told me that he wanted to marry my sister....I think, to give the baby a name and make it possible for her to keep it, but he was "afraid of my father." If only she had confided in our mother about this before the baby was born, they could have probably figured out a more reasonable solution. But I can only imagine how scared she was back then. And I know how irrational our father could be and what an ass he was....so I understand that too.

Several people have tried to get me to write a book about the animals I have rehabbed. I never thought about writing a book about this....but I could probably do that. It's a thought.

Not to capitalize on someone's misfortunes, but I think this is a best seller waiting to happen. It has fascinated me! Maybe that is because I came from such a Beaver Cleaver lifestyle. I'm sorry if I sound insensitive, I'm really not.

As chisue says, this is information that your niece should have.

& she's now about 63, so she's at an age where she could have health problems...

If I were in your boots, I'd find her, pronto.

Even if she doesn't want to get all warm & fuzzy with her remaining birth family, she surely wonders why she was left at the bus station.

It would probably be a comfort to know that it was the panic of a young girl with a repressive father rather than a rejection of her personally.

I'd help you if I knew how.

Wow! What astory. I agree that it would make an amazing novel. I wonder what the heck your brother was thinking to leave a baby in the Greyhound Bus station. Of course, he was a kid, too.

Yes, you MUST find her. If it were me, I would love to hear this story but most of all to know my roots.

You should read the book "The All-Girl Filling Station's Last Reunion" by Fannie Flagg. The story is remarkably similar and details how the adopted daughter seeks out her roots. It is hilarious at times, too, especially talking about the adoptive mother. Fannie also wrote "Fried Green Tomatoes AT The Whistle Stop Cafe", which was side-splitting.

Oh please go find Carol Christmas and tell us what happens.

I agree that you should look for her. This is obviously something that is bothering you and is important to you. Best wishes in your search.

I think you should find your neice, it is important for both of you. You could give her what she may have always been searching for. I think we all deserve to know where we came from, good or bad. There is always the chance that she may not want to know, but I think it's a chance worth taking.

Good luck and please keep us posted.

You should look for her. If you find her and find out more about her circumstances, then would be the time to decide if you should 'go public' with the information or keep it between the two of you.

You could still write a book, but you might need to heavily disguise the characters if you do not intend to unmask the real persons.

I just accidentally found this thread, I usually hang out on home decorating and cooking.

There is a whole network of people who search for adoptees and birth families FOR FREE! They are called search angels and they do amazing work finding those separated by adoption. Here is the name of a woman who I know of, who specializes in Texas cases (it seems the baby was left in Houston, right ?) Connie Gray texassearchangel@gmail.com

If anyone offers to help you and wants any $ from you, do NOT agree. These people who search for free are better than anyone asking for money. It is their life passion. I am linking to a page with other search angels, from a reputable website, in case there are others reading here who want to search.

I can't vouch for the expertise of all the others, although I do know of some listed who are very experienced and successful. I can say for sure that Connie does amazing work in Texas. I think she would love to hear about your situation.

Please post back what you find.

Here is a link that might be useful: GS adoption registry

I'd do it, Marilyn, mostly because I can't stand an unsolved mystery and maybe this niece of yours is the same way.

That looks like great info from olychick, how very helpful!

I would do it also. I found out how my dad's mom died. Also found out that she died 12 years later than I was told by my dad. I still don't know if he knew that or was told the same lie by his father. He didn't want to know what I found out and so I never told him. I didn't tell my brothers either because I was afraid they'd blurt it out in front of him. It had always bothered me because he never knew how she died. He just never saw her again. She left when he was 4 years old. He had a rough life.

This is NOT an unusual situation, folks. Sealed adoption records have deprived millions of people of their own vital medical and social information for decades -- while hiding ugly fraud and profits.

Google "adoption registries" to see pages and pages of people who have searched or who are searching. Most do not have pressing medical needs. They just want to know what 'the rest of us' take for granted: Family heritage (good or bad).

Why anyone should *have* to search is unjust, IMO. Information should be readily available to at least adult adoptees -- whether they choose to use it or not.

Adoptive family is *real* family -- and not always 'better than' -- but it's a fantasy to think it is the *sole* family. There are no 'anonymous' human babies.

Adoption was intended to serve the needs of a child who would otherwise not have a home in his family of origin. Financial incentives have perverted this noble good to instead primarily serve the needs of people who want a child -- many of whom want to believe in the myth of the 'anonymous' baby.

Sealed, secretive adoption provides little to no protection for the adoptee -- as a child, as an adult, as a parent himself. It does serve the adoption industry.

(Sorry for the rant. This is a topic close to my heart as an adoptive mother, spouse of an adoptee, and friend to hundreds of adult adoptees and birth parents I aided in search and reunion.)

Amen, Chisue!

Many states now have access to original birth records for adoptees. Doesn't help the birth family find the adoptee, however. When there won't be a birth certificate, as in this baby's case, it takes a lot of sleuthing. That's what a good search Angel can do. There are birth registries in Texas (and CA, but not most other states) that may help narrow down the possibilities of who this baby became.

If anyone reads this and can help in their own state by supporting legislation to give adoptees their constitutional right to a legal gov't document that everyone else has (their real birth certificate), please do it. Vote FOR open records, contact your legislators to support bills, etc.

Adoption does not change birth rights, nor does it change the fact that an adoptee has two families.

edited to change info about registries. They are not adoption registries, but birth registries that sometimes can be cross referenced to find the amended birth record after adoption. That probably won't be possible in this case, but a search angel will figure out the best way to get this info.

This post was edited by olychick on Sun, Aug 31, 14 at 14:41

Olychick, thank you so very much. I will contact Connie.

When I was growing up, my best friend was adopted. I used to fantasize that she was "the baby". Of course, she wasn't....she was a little bit older than me, but she had been given up for adoption in Houston. She had wonderful adoptive parents....they were almost like second parents to me....I spent so much time at their house. I asked her once if she had ever considered searching for her birth mother, and she said no, anyone who didn't want her, she didn't want them. We talked about it and agreed that most likely her mother was very young, and this was the best thing she could do for her.

As to why my brother and sister left the baby in the bus station....I don't know. I think they were probably so scared. And it was such a different time back then. Too, the town we lived in....couldn't really call it a town back then...probably less than 300 people....were almost all Quakers. You couldn't even buy cigarettes in town, much less beer, for many years following that. I remember my husband's uncle had a service station there and he sold cigarettes but he kept them under the counter and out of sight.

I asked my brother what my sister said when they took the baby. He said she didn't say anything....she cried all the way there and all the way home.

Thank you all for being so supportive about this. I was hesitant to post if because I didn't know what kind of reaction I'd get. I will keep you informed on what I find out.

Wishing you success in your search. I was adopted by very lovely adoptive parents yet I still needed answers on who I really was etc. I searched and found a birth mother who had the same type of experience as your sister. I have done many searches and reunions for others. Please let us know how this ends.

I am involved in genealogy and have joined a number of Facebook Groups that deal with that. Most have a requirement that you do not ask for help in finding living people but there a number of groups that are recommended for people looking for adoptive parents. You do have to be careful. If you find a group you are interested in, read through the posts and look for someone who has a long time being a member (you can put their name up in the box near the magnifying glass and see their history of postings. Most of the time you can contact them personally by PM them. Just make a public posting asking them to look for a private message from you. This is of course for finding someone to help you - aid in suggesting what you do. Not that you would find her on this site - you might but it more a way to get started.

Another alternative and one that I would suggest if you do find someone who may turn out to be the person you are looking for is to have a DNA test done. I know that sounds like a serious thing to do, but an automsomal test identifies cousins and if this person is also looking for her mother, she may have already done so and your matching up would provide more proof. X chromosome testing matches mothers to daughters, I am not sure if that would be more beneficial to you or not. Familytreedna is very reputable for either type and ancestry only does the autosomal now. We have used both and you can keep your results private, but of course that lessens your chances of finding out information. Just suggestions - hope you find her.

I edited my post above: edited to change info about registries. They are not adoption registries, but birth registries that sometimes can be cross referenced to find the amended birth record after adoption. That probably won't be possible in this case, but a search angel will figure out the best way to get this info.

But if you haven't, you can go to all the adoption registries you can find and post a search. Some adoptees never post as they don't want to face the possible rejection that no one is looking, but they look at all the registries to see if anyone is searching for them. If you go this route, be very cautious about anyone claiming to be your niece, there are a lot of scammers out there and dna tests would be very wise.

To register, I might start here. I searched for her and didn't find a match. Also, you should hold back one critical piece of info, like the time of year, or the bus station clue (say she was left in a public place) so the real person can fill in the blanks.

Also register with ISRR, Interntional Soundex Reunion Registry
http://www.isrr.org/Register.html It's the oldest and largest database. If they find a match, they will contact you. There are also several Texas specific registries you can find with google.

Also, it is possible she doesn't know she is adopted. Some adoptive parents might try to protect her from the facts of her beginnings in life. If you have any contacts in Houston (or maybe someone here) perhaps they would go to the newspaper archives and see if they can find the articles. There might be more clues that you've forgotten.

Best of luck to you!

Here is a link that might be useful: adoption registry

That is a very good idea about saying the baby was left in a public place....not saying bus station. I have sent an email to texassearchangel. I will let you know when I hear back.

I just got a message from my nephew on FB. He said his mother (my sister) said she had a secret she would take to her grave....he said, "could this be it?" I said, "Most likely that is what she was talking about."

Here is an article I was able to find on line about Carol Christmas.
*****************************************

Texas, Friday, December IB, 1949 Section 2

Authorities Must Hold Infont Girl For Two-Year Period

Woman, 20, Once A Foundling Herself, Asks To Adopt Abandoned "Little Miss Christmas"

Dec. 16 Pretty, 20-year-old brunet, a one time a foundling herself, offered today to take "Little Miss Christmas" into her heart and home. Mrs. Betty Cunningham told police she knew the ins and outs of being a homeless waif, and that she wanted to spare that pain for the chubby, blue-eyed baby girl found in a bus station, baggage locker here last Thursday.

"I know what Little Miss Christmas has been through, and I'd know how to handle it," she pleaded to officers and matrons at the Strickland home, where the dimpled two-week-old baby is being cared for.

Betty was only five days old when she was abandoned in a car back in 1929. It was five years later before she was adopted, and Strickland home attendants predicted it would be two years before legal barriers could be cleared to adoption of Little Miss Christmas,

The child, happy as any infant, was found stuffed in (he metal locker. She was in a paper shopping bag, apparently comfortable in a worn blue and pink blanket. At her side was a nursing bottle, partly filled with milk. It was still warm. Officers, who promptly dubbed the baby "Little Miss Christmas," believed she had been abandoned by her parents only half an hour before the discovery by a young soldier who recovered quickly from the shock and called police.

Many Adoption Offers
Hundreds of adoption offers, including pleas from families of 10 policemen, came pouring in. None was accepted, however, and none can be for a two-year period.

Betty married Richard Cunningham in 1947. They saved up, bought a home and then invested in some baby clothes, "just in case." But the little dresses and blankets haven't been used. "When I heard about Little Miss Christmas, I knew this was the baby Richard and I have wanted. We would give her such a good home, and although we haven't much money we have love to make up for it," she said. Betty is sure that Little Miss Christmas will be her own, maybe in time for Christmas. But matrons and officers just shake their heads.
**************************************
Sad, really. I hate that the baby had to wait a couple of years to be adopted.

My mother and brother told me that the nurses who cared for the baby named her Carol Christmas.

This post was edited by marilyn_c on Sun, Aug 31, 14 at 17:56

Oh, and I had thought about doing the dna test, thinking she may have had it done to find out a little about herself. It had slipped my mind though. Thanks for the reminder.

Marilyn I sure hope you find her.

It looks like the adoption registries work only if the other party has posted a request & if you have some fairly exact information such as birth date, which she wouldn't know for sure, & when she was adopted, which could have been1951, 1952, 1953...

If Little Miss Christmas hasn't registered with one of those services, maybe you could apply to the Harris County Clerk's office for the court records pertaining to her adoption.

Maybe your nephew (her half-brother, right?) can do some searching.

This is such an intriguing puzzle!

Good luck, Marilyn!

I think my nephew is more than her half brother. I think he is her full brother. The man she married...after she came back from Tennessee, was married when she met him...or so I was told. I think there is a good chance that he was Miss Christmas' father. I can't imagine that my sister had much time for a social life....having two children already and my mother (and father) wouldn't have been the type to babysit while she went out. So, I think the baby's father was the man she later married. Anyway, that is what my brother told me. My nephew is off on Wednesday and he is going to call me so we can talk about this. I think he is sort of bumfuzzled about the whole thing....for want of a better word. He had asked me awhile back if I knew how he could contact his cousins on his father's side, but I had no idea, since I never really met but one of them. He didn't know about Miss Christmas until a week or so ago, when I asked his wife to talk to him and see if he would be okay with me searching for her. So, this is all new to him, but he is okay with it. I had told them I would keep them informed every step of the way. I didn't want him to think I was going to do this behind their backs, and had decided if he wasn't okay with it, then I wouldn't do it.

Please be aware that the search is the EASY part.

IMO, the most important function my search and support group performed was to prepare people for what happens after search.

This starts with how to contact. The searcher has to let go of preconceived ideas about what will be found and how any reunion will play out. The searcher has to let go of belief or responsibility that he or she controls the future.

Our group (Truth Seekers in Adoption in Chicago) had caring people who returned post-contact and post-reunion to illustrate what does and doesn't work in these situations.

One expectation involves finding 'the baby'. The feelings at reunion are often the same as when a family 'claims' a newborn and welcomes her into the family, but...this is an adult woman in whom you see your family features, temperament, talents.

I would like Marilyn to tell her male relatives to be careful to take any reunion slowly if they hope to have a true, familial relationship. They may mistake an intense physical relationship to "Carol".

No one coming for support ever thought this could happen to them, and it didn't happen *often*, but mistaking family connection for adult love will ruin any chance of a normal family relationship. The 'found' person won't know this in advance, but the searchers can learn to recognize it, and help it pass without anyone acting on what *seem* to be sexual feelings.

The biggest losers in reunion are the birthparents. "The Baby" is gone. She has other parents and siblings. There is a mourning period when this becomes evident. Adoptees often mourn the 'might have been', too -- despite wonderful adoptive lives -- but IMO this is hardest as birthmothers experience the original loss all over again, even when warmly welcomed by their adult children.

I'd look for a SUPPORT group as you begin search. Educate yourself *in advance of finding*.

Very well said Chisue, and every word is true.

The only male relatives I have are my husband (almost 70), my brother....who is in his 80's and my nephew, who is in his 50's and married. (Oh, and I have a son-in-law, who is around 40 years old). I don't expect any of them to have a sexual attraction towards Carol Christmas. I mean, we may be kind of "out there"...I am a possum rehabber and that is kind of strange, but making anyone feel sexually uncomfortable would be the fartherest thing from any of our minds....of that, I am sure. I think my nephew would like to have some family. His mother and siblings are all dead. She is likely, his full sister. I would caution him (and will caution him) if this proceeds, to go very slowly and let her take the lead on this. She may never want anything to do with any of us, and that is understandable. She might well resent any intrusion in her life....and I understand that completely. My life is very quiet. I would not be open to a bunch of drama, myself. I will see if I can find an adoption group to join. If for no other reason than to get feedback on what they think about this. If I go to any meetings, I will take my nephew. I'd invite my brother along, but he is getting kind of feeble. The very last thing I want to do is cause anyone any discomfort or make them feel uneasy. Just because she is a blood relative, does not mean that her life experiences haven't made her entirely different from any of us and she may have nothing in common with us, and no interest in us whatsoever. I am not at all a pushy person. I don't want my "idle curiosity" to be a source of trauma or pain or the slightest bit of problem for anyone. I would like to give her some info on family health issues....which really aren't many....we are all very healthy....and I can give her pictures of her birth mother. I can fill in any gaps she may have, but I would want her to know that she is under no obligation to include me (or us) in any part of her family.

When I was growing up, my grandmother (father's mother) lived next door to us. My mother never got along with her mother in law, and from what I understand, the worst insult anyone could say in our family was "you are just like Grandma Stout"....who really was known to be a rather mean old lady. I remember when I was about 9 years old, going over there to play with a couple of cousins and when it was time to eat lunch, she made me go home. When I came back, after lunch, I had left my stick horse there, and my grandmother had thrown it on her burn pile and was setting it on fire. I tried to pull it out of the fire and she hit me with her cane. Anyway, I really looked up to one of my cousins....mainly because I loved horses and she knew a lot about horses....although neither of us had a horse. Anyway, I was not allowed to play with her, and the last time I saw her was in 1957, at my grandmother's funeral.

I found her on Facebook and I very reluctantly sent her a friend request and message. I was afraid she would want nothing to do with me, because our families didn't get along. However, I was pleasantly surprised...and we have become good friends and we often joke about how shocked our folks would be that we have become good friends.

OK Marilyn, this just keeps getting "better and better". Please know that I am not making light of or fun of your family or your childhood. I cannot fathom having a grandmother like that, especially next door! It would be interesting to go back a generation and see what kind of childhood SHE had, must've been quite awful to make her into that kind of woman.

I'm glad you are looking for "Carol". Every person, child or grown, has the right to know who their parents are. It's a fundamental human need. Just let the process move on her schedule.

Juellie, I wish I knew more about her background, but sadly, that information is probably lost forever. When she was young, she was very beautiful. There was one picture that my mother had of her, but she gave it to my sister, because she got along with Grandma Stout. Also, my cousin that I found on FB, was very close to her. I wish I had that photograph when Grandma was young....I'd like to give it to my cousin. I was surprised that the only picture she has of her was made very near the end of her life. I have found some photographs of my cousin's mother (my dad's sister) and some of Grandma Stout but made after she had started to age. (For someone so beautiful when she was young...she aged very badly. There is a picture of her when she was 40 and she was already very old looking. She had my father and then 15 years later had my cousin's mother and 18 mo. later, had another aunt. So my father was like me....a big difference in age with his siblings.)

Oh, and Juellie, how's this for a story.....this was told to me by my cousin. Her mother had divorced her father, and married another man and had a little boy with him. She met a married man and fell for him and he divorced his wife and married her. But, when she was leaving husband #2, she called a taxi and put my cousin in it....she was about 8 at the time, and her little brother wanted to go too....and my aunt wasn't taking him. So she threw a quarter down the street a little bit and told him to go get it....when he ran to get it, she had the taxi driver drive off and leave him. My cousin said her memory was of him, crying, running down the street, trying to follow the cab. The aunt didn't see him again until he was married with kids of his own, and it was he that decided to make contact with her. Now, that is about as cold as it gets, I think.

Oh, and Juellie, how's this for a story.....this was told to me by my cousin. Her mother had divorced her father, and married another man and had a little boy with him. She met a married man and fell for him and he divorced his wife and married her. But, when she was leaving husband #2, she called a taxi and put my cousin in it....she was about 8 at the time, and her little brother wanted to go too....and my aunt wasn't taking him. So she threw a quarter down the street a little bit and told him to go get it....when he ran to get it, she had the taxi driver drive off and leave him. My cousin said her memory was of him, crying, running down the street, trying to follow the cab. The aunt didn't see him again until he was married with kids of his own, and it was he that decided to make contact with her. Now, that is about as cold as it gets, I think.

I've rarely met anyone in search who was NOT doing it for the right reasons -- as I know you are. However, it is easy to mistakenly compromise the other person's privacy. Do your search quietly so you can approach "Carol" privately.

As for the sexual-feeling attraction between reunited family, as I said, NOBODY thinks it can happen, but...IT DOES, and it's dangerous.

Most of us have watched reunions on some TV show. We've seen the intensity of the hugs, the searching of one another's faces. That intensity can feel like 'adult attraction'. It helps to know in advance that you aren't some awful pervert -- that what you are feeling is the decades-delayed bonding AS FAMILY that would have happened in childhood.

I've heard that nursing mothers sometimes go through the same thing;
there's a sensual-that-feels-sort-of-sexual pleasure in the sensation of nursing, on top of that intense bonding.

Marilyn, you have me convinced that you need to write a book!

The quarter story sounded a bit familiar actually.....my father was treated like that by his father. That is why my life was so Beaver Cleaver. My dad vowed to never mistreat or humiliate his children like his dad did to him. He WAY overcompensated!

Thank you for sharing your family story....I'll be first in line to buy the book!