Wonderful news, Susie. I hope you are feeling a bit less stressed now. And being born in Ala., I sure understand the sentiment about kleenex in the South. I think I 'inherited' that line of thinking. Nothing beats a hug or a friend's shoulder in my book. Blessings to your Dad and you.

She sounds much better this morning. I told her trying to cheer herself up by riding her friends grandson's razor is not the way to go though, lol. She fell off but is ok well mostly, lol. Will update on her dad after she calls me this evening. They put him in a intermediate care room and gave him a feeding tube so hopefully he will get some strength back with some nutrition. He hasn't been able to eat for about a week now.

BTW, having Power of attorney is not a substitute for the HIPAA privacy releases. Because of the vagueness of the HIPAA laws, every single doctor and medical facility can interpret them in different ways. Our estate attorney drew up not only regular power of attorney docs, but also healthcare power of attorney with HIPAA releases that can be used in every situation with any medical facility or personnel. First of all, it sounds like you may need to talk to a geriatrician, if you can find one (a dying breed, unfortunately). You don't necessarily need to replace his doctor, but get some second opinions here if you can. Second, it is sad but true that many people have these kinds of anxieties and will only go into facilities when they are forced to. Is there any chance you can at least get one of those medical alert systems so that your dad can remain independent a bit longer? Talk to your dad's doctor; they often get discounts for patients for some of these systems. Certainly there are bad facilities as well as good ones. You should start investigating what's available now, because good ones have a waiting list. At the very least this helps calm a lot of your own anxiety because you will have a better idea of what to do when the time finally comes. Once you've found some good prospects, see if you can get your dad to visit with you during social hours, so he can see what kind of activities are there and what the people are like. It takes time, so don't expect to change his mind quickly. My MIL lives with us and it's taken us a year to get her to visit a local senior center for a weekly seniors exercise class! Now she's getting comfortable enough with the people that she's considering taking an additional line-dancing class on a second day - for her, that's amazing progress. Certainly there's a basis for your dad's doctor to dislike putting people into facilities - it's been proven people are happier and live longer in their own homes. But your dad seems to be falling into that 'gray area', where he may not be capable of being independent much longer. It's hard for parents to recognize that they are failing and need to be taken care of by their children. It's especially hard for women, because the older generation and much of the medical establishment does not take women as seriously as they do men - that's just fact. I find I have to speak pretty forcefully to my MIL for her to take my word for things, she keeps saying, "Well, I'll ask my son when he comes home." It's just habit and cultural differences, so keep plugging away. Don't fuss or get emotionally upset over it - if you remain calm and logical, people will start to take your concerns seriously. It may not be obvious now that your dad is starting to get confused, but if dementia is indeed happening, there are tests that can help determine how fast the mental deterioration is progressing over time.

Thanks trailrunner, dad is 74 so I guess that might affect how well he recovers? He is walking around really well, and he gets out of bed and wanders around the ward, although last week he did lose his balance and had to be helped back to bed. After that they moved him to a room right next to the nurses station to keep a closer eye on him but he's back out of bed and wandering around again and so far he's been ok. It's really made me realise how fragile our brains are, like in the past I've been teetering at the top of a ladder painting the outside of our house and I've thought "I hope I don't fall because I'll break a bone or something", but I never even considered a brain injury which would be much worse. I'm so glad to hear you recovered from it, it must be terrible to go through. thanks mitch, he is in good hands and right now it's the best place for him until he gets a bit further along.