Xill, You should be able to grow many things they grow in Palm Springs and Rancho Mirage. One I am particularly enamoured with is leucophyllum. It THRIVES on heat and will flower all summer with available water. There are several types and a few hybrids. It's a slow grower, but if it gets leggy, you can slash it to the ground and it regrows. If you drive around the Palm Springs/Rancho Mirage area you will see them looking like silk plants! Behind the Mimi's Cafe on HWY 111 (I think it is) they've used it as a hedge in their parking lot. They keep the two types they grow there tightly sheared with regular (don't know the frequency, but it can't be that heavy) and every time I've seen them over the years, they are tight, densely foliated to the ground and paved with flowers. Unpruned, they get open and airy. I grow them here on my hill in Encino and love them. They can get large, so you might want to plant them higher on the slope so they can achieve the privacy you want before you begin shaping and shearing them to be the density you want. There are several foliage and flower colors so you can mix and match to give yourself the texture and colors you want. Plant them as specimen or densely to form a tight hedge (as has been done in town in Rancho Mirage). Absolutely gorgeous shrub which stretches like an old cat in that kind of heat! And, they're native to the desert south west and Mexico so you know they'll work! I have never seen any pest or disease problems with them. Just give them decent drainage, though with careful watering, I've planted them in less than decent drainage and had them thrive in the San Fernando and Santa Clarita Valleys. Municipalities and HOAs are using them for xeriscaping common areas. Also take a look at Dwarf Myrtle, myrtis communis compacta. It is a weed and can be hacked mercilessly, exploding from thick, old wood, requiring minimal water once established, dense foliage, lovely spring flowers with small, dark blue berries afterward. The foliage scent is lovely and is actually used as a rinse for dark colored hair. You can leave them alone of prune them tightly for extremely dense coverage. They say it grows to three feet, but the fifty year old plants out back are easily five feet by five feet. Here, it gets very infrequent water and full, all day sun. Not that my sun can compare to YOURS, but nothing, not even the gophers and rabbits, has been able to irritate it and it smells SO good! It makes a pretty contrast to the leucophyllum and both should be pretty with your bougainvilleas. To add other colors, in case they are desired, plant as many Salvia greggii types as you can find. All hot time color, extremely water thrifty and they LOVE heat! Hummingbirds love the leucophyllum and slavia. They come in a variety of color and are another plant you can shear severely and have explode again when it gets hot. I don't know if you have any rabbit or gopher issues, but they leave this one alone, period! Hope they help! Kim Here is a link that might be useful: Leucophyllum

Anne-Marie - thanks for your reply. Yes, Metacam is very scary, but I read all of the safety info. and my boy's renal function is fine. It controls his pain completely, without any side effects, thus far. I am not sure what kind of natural or holistic meds could help. I have one other cat on glucosamine and chondroitin, and that is helping some arthritic issues he has. Midnight is currently moving around on a low pile carpet and actually crab-walks with his back legs, so some function there. He cannot climb into the litter box, but can 'haul' himself out. I know what you mean about 'nothing seems to stop him', OK except a couple of steps up. I am attaching a site about pet wheel chairs. They are not completely out of the budget, but not cheap either. Elly, I have been through the QOL issue. He is 'all there'. His personality has not changed, and he has always been a very strong, independent guy. That's what keeps me from even considering putting him down. Yes, he spent most of his time napping in the sun - the rest in the garden, hunting voles. lol. He emptied mouse traps that still had 'play value' last Fall. Like I said, he hauls himself around with a 'crab-walk' quite well. A cart would make it easier. I'd just like to know what lies ahead, if others have that experience. Thanks Guys, but I want more. Nancy. Here is a link that might be useful: Pet Wheelchairs

Thanks everyone for your support. I know I need to leave but I suppose I've always been a sucker to help people. Amber - Thank you for your words. You are right, the only person I can save is myself. I suppose the battle is really working up the courage to say enough is enough. I struggle because I hate hurting people or feeling like I am letting them down but in the same regard I suppose by me doing things for my partner, he will never do anything to help himself or his son. Colleenoz - thank you for your kind words. I never thought about it like the way you put it. Seeing that he could turn like that if something bad happened to me is some what alarming. Because when I think of the answer to something happening to me and would he be there, I can't answer that. And if I can't answer that, then there is a real big problem. LaVerne - Thank you for your comment. Do I want to change? Yes i really do, so I guess I know what I have to do. Reading Lady - Sadly this situation is real, it would be nice if I was making it up but unfortunately I am not. I know everyone on his mother's side has bi-polar and basically have lived their lives in and out of either jails or foster homes. Sometimes I think the cycle can be broken but in the same regards, it's not my responsibility to have hero complex (i.e. trying to save everyone). Let me just say this, I know that none of you know me from a bar of soap, which in turn makes you more truthful. I appreciate your honesty and i thank you for your wisdom. I know everyone goes through hard stages in life, but you are right. If I am not happy with the situation, then only I can change it. I think it's time for me to worry about myself and get back what I want. If I succeed (and I truly hope I do) than please know every little word by each of you contributed to giving me strength. You all really have no idea how much you have put my mind, heart and bank balance at rest.

You know, to me "fake" is not that big of a deal in some things where cleaning or lifespan can be an issue. Yes, like you, I would love authentic everything including hardwood floors. But I have cats. I always have and I always will. They bring absolute joy to my life. I have lost all three in the last couple of years, Amara my most recent loss left us last week, but more will come. I also want beautiful things around me. My description of my home is "comfortable elegance." Neither word has any more emphasis than the other; both are essential to creating a home I love and love to share. But cleaning and damage is a big deal too. I have no intention of spending a lot of time that would require high maintenance. I look at my faux Christmas tree as gorgeous even without the scent. (I buy real wreaths to hang high enough so the cats cannot get to them just so I can get the scent.) I look at my LVP flooring as incredibly beautiful because I got a color I like and any accidents including hairballs are easy to wipe up and I never have to worry about it. (Ditto if the washer ever fails.) If you compare one to the other you may find yourself adding regret and judgmental attitudes to your perspective. But if you acknowledge their differences and choose one, based upon the advantages you prefer, then I think you might find you will have few if any regrets. You won't mourn what you can't have (both easy care and real hardwood) but instead you will embrace and celebrate what you did choose because it makes you happy. And that is all that matters.