I've been responsible for two doozies in the last couple of years. Both times I was trying to call my neighbor. I suppose it would help if I said "hello" and made small talk before I started saying things, but I'm more of a "stream of consciousness" conversationalist. The first of these was a couple summers ago at the height of Japanese Beetle season. I'd been out handpicking the buggers and drowning them in soapy water. I tried to rope the neighbor kids into helping me a la Tom Sawyer, and when that failed, I tried to make a game of it, "Let's have a contest to see who can drown the most Japanese Beetles! The rules are that I can only catch them in my garden, but you can catch them in your mom's garden and in mine!" The monkeys (my neighbor's pet name for her kids) didn't bite at that either, so I just went about my business with the beetles. The next day, I was pleasantly surprised to see a pile of dead beetles on my back patio. I assumed it was the kids next door, so I called to thank them. When their mom answered I said "Your monkeys have been busy!" "Pardon me?" "Your monkeys! They went on a killing spree over here! I have a whole stack of corpses on my back patio! I'm thrilled!" "Excuse me?" (long pause...) "I dialed 849-XXXX instead of 850-XXXX, didn't I!" (Our village (yes, we live in one too) only has two prefixes.) "Yes." "I'm so sorry! Nevermind what I said about the bodies!" When I hung up, it took me ten minutes to stop laughing enough to call my neighbor and tell her what I'd done. Recently I called her on inauguration day. She had worked on the campaign and I knew she'd be very emotional about it... but she'd have to keep it on the down-low because she was at her parents' house, and they are staunch Republicans. In an effort to give her an opportunity to let off a little happy steam, I decided to call her on her husband's cell phone. She answered and I said "So are you crying tears of joy?" and she said "Yes I am! It's been a great day! Who is this?" "It's Michelle." "Michelle who?" "Oh crap! Apparently, it's Michelle-the-total-stranger-who-can't-dial-numbers-correctly. I'm just calling to check in on your emotional well-being. I'm happy to hear you're having a great day!" When I finally hung up the phone, I realized I'd managed to chat for over three minutes with a total stranger. Neither of us mentioned why she was happy, which sort of made it even better, because for all I know, she had just received a promotion, or found out she was pregnant (or not!) or any of the millions of other things that can make a person beam with joy. It was a funny conversation that tickled me. And it tickled my neighbor too when I finally managed to dial her number correctly.

In my last house outside a little village in our county, I was very shocked to learn I had to "wait" for a private line. This was in the mid 80s. For several months I was once again on a party line blast from the past. One can hardly find a pay phone anywhere around here anymore because of the abundance of mobile phones. That was one of the reasons I ended up biting the bullet and getting one. I hate them and still have months and months of paid up minutes waiting to use. My parent's house still have the old, heavy rotary dial phones. Like Andie, that spoilt me forever because when I talk into a mobile, or even one of those lightweight land line phones, I feel like I am talking into the air. I hate the chintzy things too. LOL. Can you tell I am phone challenged? I still think people wearing those little do-dads over their ear and talking into the air look like borgs. I also hate to get behind them in the market, as they evidently walk down the isles connected through their air-wave umbilicus to someone in their house and that person is going through their pantries looking to see if the household is out of whatever item the borg is standing in front of. I don't remember ever having to talk to operators, save when making long distance calls or collect calls when away from home or at a phone booth before credit card calls were invented. The phone I miss the most was my ericaphon. sic sic sic. The rotary dial was at the base, and one picked the whole unit up and talked into a showerhead. rofl.

Sorry I was having a bad weekend, I didnt mean to lash out, Im just upset with the whole situation....I had no intention of harming his visitation, he has visitation set up already, he just hasnt had the chance to change it to have her come spend the summers with us for a little while. BM said to the law guardian that she wouldnt mind that, but then when I spoke to her she said that was never going to happen, that her daughter was never going to leave the state. I never said I wanted her to bring Abby to me, I want her father to see her, that's all. I do not EXPECT her to let me see Abby. I seriously was just trying to get along with her and she hurt my feelings with what she said so, I am Human, lashed out, it was a mistake and I cant take it back..... So anyway, he does have visitation, it jsut doesnt work since he isnt in the same state anymore. She also never told the courts she was moving, so when he was gone, they had a court date in the wrong county....Things have just been so tough, and I guess I just want to understand why BM is being this way. The relationship ended badly, I understand that, but it was her that cheated and gave up on him. and took his daughter away without saying why... I guess she knows thats the only way she can hurt him...and its working.....and in the process she is hurting me too. I just want to understand why she is not thinking of her daughter in all this.....Oh and about the phone calls, she doesnt have an answering machine, it just keeps ringing and ringing, and she will not give her cell phone number. Her house phone is private, and whenever she calls my husband, it is from a private number, and its not always from her home phone so she blocks her cell phoen number too, idk why, cause she gave him a fit about not having his cell phone number......Im really sorry for being a jerk on this forum... I just took it all as a personal insult and this is a very hard situation so it made me feel worse then I already felt.....I guess all I can do, is believe that God has a reason for this and that God has a plan that will work out in the end for all of us, including BM. All I care about is Abby and I just want her to know that her father and I love her very much, and Im scared of all the time we have been away from her that she will think that her father dosnt love her and he does. He donst like confrontation, like any guy, and when he ahs to fight just to talk to his daughter, it stresses him out a great deal. I know its not an excuse.... I just see what he has been through with all thsi and most of all he doesbnt want to see his daughter get hurt so he just doesnt bother calling cause he doesnt feel like fighting all the time. I just wish this whole situation was different...Things will eventually work out, just not when i want them too......

WOW - what a wonderful thread! I could write forever about Mom, but I'll give you the wonderful highlights: Mom was 72/73 when she lost her fight with cancer after 30 years. She was tough - well, strong is a better word, because I don't think she had a tough bone/thought in her. She just taught my sister and me, how to survive the valleys with a smile. She knew that part well, when she became a single parent when I was twelve. That just didn't happen in our community, so it was devastating. Mom was raised in a prominently wealthy family of a different race. This in itself was phenomenal, and really shaped her adult life. She had one older sister, with five brothers in between. Granny worked and wasn't fond of having Mom home alone a lot with so many men around - my uncles and their friends were so much older. A family friend worked for a family that was willing to let Mom stay in their home while the friend was able to take care of her. Although the family was so supportive and treated her as a daughter, Mom didn't like not being able to even make her own bed!! All-in-all though, she was able to attend the best schools and learned about having the best of everything - which she always tried to pass on to us. Mom was a career nurse - in college health nursing, and was elected President twice, of her professional association. She was so dedicated to her profession that she founded the local chapter of the association (I helped with that though I never wanted to be a nurse). Later, Mom enhanced her career and became a Nurse Practitioner. We went through that - FUNNY, FUNNY, and FUN. She even pledged her professional sorority much like in college. She was in her mid to late 50s!!! It was so hard - putting an entire med school education in a year or two (can't remember which)!!!! Mom also ran for the first ever school board of our city. She would have won, but dropped out because she didn't want to leave my sister and me alone so much while she was at meetings, etc. This is a testament to her support and selflessness! I mentioned my uncles - Mom's brothers. I'll always remember her saying, "My brothers". She loved them, and so do I. I lived with one when I was very young while my Dad was in the military. They were a special bunch of guys. Each became prize fighters (boxing) and did very well - one fought Sugar Ray Robinson and lost by one point in a TKO!! One by one, they all have been inducted into the boxing hall of fame. Mom was so proud of that, and also all that they did for everyone they met. Mom was like that too. I can't tell you how many students she helped get through college - the ones that were nervous about being away from home; the ones that partied too much and were flunking out (she had so much clout at the school that she was able to talk administrators into letting them continue their studies). In those days, if you flunked out, you couldn't attend another college. She also set up a program with the school so that the Detal students could stay in our home (it was big enough for small apts upstairs). Mom fought her cancer as hard as she could. If this had happened to her today, I think she probably could have beat it. But, they say, the good die young. Mom wasn't that young, and I would say that she was great. I do wish she were here though - to talk to, and share the many milestones I've hit on my own. I really think she would be so surprised at what I've done. I'm not though - she prepared me for it all. I just wish I could share it with her and sometimes, wish I could ask her what to do next. hmmm... Anyway, sorry for the long post. I've often said I would write a book about Mom, and our family - not that we are all that, but there are some great moments. Maybe this will help me get started. Thanks for letting me share!! A toast to Moms everywhere!! gneegirl