Just one joint account. My husband used his ATM card so infrequently, the bank didn't send him a new one until we called. Now I make him get $100 cash once a month. We spend cash for small purchases (under $50), I pay bills online thru the bank's website, and use a credit card (paid off each month) for other things.

I don't think he's written a check in 30 years.

This post was edited by sushipup on Sat, Jul 19, 14 at 22:10

Yes

We had separate checking accounts when we first got married, but no longer. In fact, we didn't even have a joint account, just separate ones. It was a lot of trouble to pay bills that way back when everyone was still writing checks. To me, having a joint account is just easier. Even though we don't really use checks anymore, paying things out of separate accounts complicates things, and I don't need that. I'm helping handle my dad's finances too, so I don't need to make my own any more complicated than necessary.

I do have credit cards in my name.

I always had my own checking account, and my husband had his. Separate credit cards too. It worked for us.

I have my own checking account and credit cards. Same with my fiance. When we get married, we will open a joint account where all the income will go. From there, we will each get a set amount of "fun" money into our personal accounts to do whatever we want with it, no comments allowed. :)

I think it's important for everyone to have their own money. I have a significant nest egg that I will keep separate from marital assets just in case. I think it's sad when spouses are trapped in bad marriages because they don't have any assets of their own and depend on their spouse to provide. Since I plan on giving up my career to raise children, it's important to me to protect myself a bit.

We have joint everything because we trust each other implicitly.

double post

This post was edited by lucille on Sat, Jul 19, 14 at 23:51

We have separate and joint accounts. I am better at managing money than he so I'm in charge. My paycheck goes into my bank account and his used to go to his; now it goes to the joint account. I move money as needed to pay bills. When we moved, we set up a local bank account as a joint account.

We each have our own credit cards and a joint card as well. We try to keep those paid off.

Joint accounts.......I've always taken care of the household expenses, bills, day to day stuff......he takes care of 401k's, investments, stocks.....but we both know what the other one is doing, how much we have, etc.

For those living in community property states:

Other than assets you had before marriage that have been kept separate, and separate assets received as gifts since marriage that have been kept separate.......

All income, assets and liabilities that arise during marriage are joint (community), whether the title or name on accounts is one name or both. So for a married couple in Calif, for example, a debt (like a credit card) incurred by either during the marriage is something both are liable for.

Very well put, Snidely.

My husband and I live in California. He is an attorney, and I met him when I was working in a law office, so we are both well versed on community property.

Having said that.... I have a checking account and two savings accounts. My husband's name is on the checking account and one of the savings accounts. I opened the second savings account online, and Hubs has just never bothered to go into a branch to sign the card to get his name on that account. Who cares? He has a checking account that only has his name on it -- it was opened when he worked out of town during the week, and the bank was in the town where he was every Monday through Friday. We're about 400 miles from that town, and although he hasn't worked in that town for at least 15 years, his account is still "at that branch," and I've never bothered to go there to get my name on the account. He has a savings account at a credit union, and it, too, only has his name on it. As said above, we are in a community property state...

Most of our credit cards are in both names, but we decided years ago who would use each card. And we each have a couple of credit cards that are in our name only. Again, community property state...

His car was financed in his name only, and only his name is on the title.

Last year when I bought my new car, I qualified for the loan on my income alone, the loan is in my name only, and title is in my name only. Hubs' car is paid off, and I'm four months ahead on my loan payments, so there's no way he'll get "stuck" paying for it, unless I die before he does and it's before the loan is paid off. Both cars are insured in both names.

"We have joint everything because we trust each other implicitly."

We've been together more than 33 years. We trust each other implicitly, too. And because we trust each other implicitly, it's not an issue that my name isn't on all of his accounts/credit cards and that his name isn't on all of mine.

I can, however, see how folks who don't trust each other implicitly would insist on all joint accounts, so they can "keep tabs" on each other.

Having your own credit card and checking account isn't a matter of trust. It's a matter of establishing your own credit rating should something happen to your DH.

I have my own checking account, credit card and my SS goes directly into my own savings account.

Mixing matters like trust, and finances, can be a big mistake. Illness, Alzheimer's, tumors, ongoing alcoholism or short term prescribed medications, can all be reasons why someone you trust and who loves you can make spending errors.
And the sad fact of life is that sometimes, people you trust turn out not to be trustworthy. That has happened to me more than once, I tend to try to see the best in people, and I don't always see the whole picture.

excellent point, georgysmom.

You also must protect yourself from what other people can do.

Say your hubs has children by a previous marriage.

If he gets hit by a bus, or if he becomes incapacitated from injury or illness or Alzheimer's, his children can turn your life upside down.

If one of the children, or his ex-wife, or his mother or father or sibling, has power of attorney, maybe dating from before your marriatge, that person can clean out any account that has his name on it.

Even if you have power of attorney, his children may challenge your right to exercise it, & the court may freeze the assets of the marriage.

This means you can't sell the house, & you can't get money from any account that has his name on it.

The amount of money you now have is...
the cash in your purse.

It happens all the time.

Separate checking and savings accounts plus stock investments are separate too, that being said, both our names are on all but I don't remember ever needing any checks or money from my husband. I've always been independent money wise since the day I got married 56 years ago. I buy what I want and so does he, it works for us.

For me it is not about trust, it is about independance. I was a single parent before I met my DH for 12 years. I worked after marriage til our second child was born, I 35 and was very used to having my own $$. My DH is a wonderful man and has provided a great life stress free of money worries for us for 35 years. That being said, he was not good at realizing that I needed a cash flow of my own. When my son started 1st grade I got a part time job working in food services for our local school district. Just 10 hours a week, but I finally had $$ that was mine to decide how to spend.

When I worked my way up to managing a cafeteria and working more hours, my DH suggested I get my own checking account/savings. He finally understood I wanted a bit of financial independance;) It is in both of our names, but it is mine. I always say we have two checking accounts 'ours' that he pays all household expenses out of~~he truely pays for everything. And mine, I pay for all of my own credit card bills.

We are both retired now, my retirement and SS checks all go into my account~this is my fun money. I like to spend $$ on my kids and Gkids This keeps him from having a stroke over what I spend.

All accounts are joint, everything is in our trust~~it just makes me feel more comfortable and independant having my own accounts.

Chi83, I agree with you~~~my DS and his wife have been married 3 years now but have not comingled their $$ yet~~they each work. I told her it is very imprortant for her to be financially independant, not to the point of stressing their marrige, but you never know what the future brings.

It is not about trust it is about independance and being able to take care of yourself if need be~~I have a pal that was very $$ indepedant when she worked for over 30 years, when she and her DH retired he made her put everything in their joint account~~she no longer has her own money and he questions every cent she spends;( How horrible is that after being independant for over 30 years. She made a big mistake by letting it happen and it has made her very mad and sad at almost 70 years of age;(

Primary accounts are joint, but we each keep separate smaller "mad money" accounts. I have two cc's in my own name and he has a few, but they are both paid out of a joint account. He handles most of the day to day banking and bill paying (and I help with the day to day spending :-). We make big decisions jointly. We both work and both have separate retirement accounts and some separately owned family property so neither is financially dependent on the other, but we manage it as a team and income from whatever source is usually deposited into a joint account or converted to a joint asset. I agree with Lindsey, because we trust each other implicitly, it doesn't really matter how anything is held. We decided that we're in this as a team a long time ago.

My husband didnt like my bookeeping habits so he gave me my own account separate from the community account and said go mess it up all you want to...he provided me with plenty of overdraft protection and connected it to the regular account but he refused to do the balancing...I didn't bother either...so every month he just added money according to how much I spent and I was happy with that and he was since I was not messing with the real checkbook...he didn't have to worry about my handwriting, my math or my remembering the correct date ...etc etc haha works for us...now we us credit cards except for my beauty shop and she still lives in the dark ages, cash or check..pnly

LOL Ruthie, that is my DH exactly~~~when I was working and he suggest I get my own accounts, that is the main reason~~~he did not like me writing in his check registry, I could not remember where I put the receipts on and on~~LOL! MEN!

I never balance my checking account~~he does his to the penny~~I go on line and just go through my receipts and poof I am done~~he loves pen and paper balancing;)

I like that term 'community account' that's what he takes care of have and I have my messy accounts;)

YogaLady, your friend needs to stop being mad/sad;
all she has to do is open her own account & have her income deposited into it.

Sometimes aging men get so obsessed with control that they destroy things (my own father cut down every tree on the place, threw out all the food in the kitchen, proclaiming it "spoiled", & pawed through the hall closet one day, throwing out things that had sentimental value...to someone other than himself) just to reassure themselves that they're still powerful, still in control.

& the wife bears the brunt of the punishment.

The only way to stop him micro-managing her money & giving her heck for every dime she spends is to remove her money from his control & to walk away without speaking any time he opens his mouth about it.

She can get a post office box for the statements if she doesn't feel comfortable with online statements.

I also don't think checking and credit cards is an issue of trust. I am getting married soon and trust my future husband implicitly but we are still getting a prenup for our pre-marital assets we are both bringing in (though CA is pretty good about keeping that separate by default) and will maintain our separate checking and credit accounts as well as joint accounts.

Just because things happen. No one goes into marriage expecting divorce or to be widowed or any other host of things that happen every single day. I think it's smart to prepare for the worst as no harm can come from it. It is important for me to maintain some financial independence and maintain my high credit rating no matter what happens.

I have seen many peers stuck in unhappy marriages because of financial reasons.

'I have seen many peers stuck in unhappy marriages because of financial reasons.'

yep.

Chi83~~~Good for you, I advise all young women I know to do that.

Sylviatexas, I have many, many times told my GF to do that. I ask her why did you give up the $$ independance you had worked 30 years to make?? She is afraid of him, he is a verbal~emotional bully and I do not think it is worse in retirement, I think they are just together more and it comes out. She uses passive agressive behaivor in their marriage~~it is like a big game for them IMHO.

Sick;( I also tried to get her to go to counseling, she said he would never pay for that LOL WTH??

I manage all our bills. We just got started that way because I had the less demanding job and had more time. (I had also 'been poor' and he hadn't; I was more acutely aware of the value of a dollar.)

My DH has one CC account; I have a card for that account but almost never use it. I have one CC account.

We have a joint checking account, into which goes all non-portfolio income and out of which I pay bills. This ledger creates an easy-to-access historical record. I've never micro-managed this; we don't run close to the wind on the checking balance to leverage every dime. (A blessing to be able to do this.)

My DH and I have separate trusts, funded by our real estate and investment portfolios. He also has an IRA account.

I pay our few *major* mutual expenses from my trust portfolio checking account; he replenishes my trust from his as needed. (Major expenses are RE, State and Federal taxes, and any large charitable gifts that are not put on a CC.)

Sorry to see the insecure DH lives on. A friend confided that her Old Country father gave her mother an unchanging stipend every week from the time they married until she became desperate, two children later. He never told her when he got a raise. She never had a dime of her own because he said she had no money sense. He said she would be grateful in retirement. He died before he retired. There was no savings. He'd blown it!

"We've been together more than 33 years. We trust each other implicitly, too. And because we trust each other implicitly, it's not an issue that my name isn't on all of his accounts/credit cards and that his name isn't on all of mine.

I can, however, see how folks who don't trust each other implicitly would insist on all joint accounts, so they can "keep tabs" on each other."

We've been together a very long time too, and it's not an issue if each other's names aren't on every account. It is convenient though. It would be a lot more work if something happened to one person and the other has to provide proof of death/serious injury to have access to an account. I do agree people who have to "keep tabs on each other" lack trust. I'm glad my husband and I are not that way.

"I am getting married soon and trust my future husband implicitly but we are still getting a prenup for our pre-marital assets we are both bringing in (though CA is pretty good about keeping that separate by default) and will maintain our separate checking and credit accounts as well as joint accounts. "

implicit - understood though not clearly or directly stated
explicit - very clear and complete : leaving no doubt about the meaning
A prenuptial agreement is absolutely not implicit; it is explicit.

"Just because things happen. No one goes into marriage expecting divorce or to be widowed or any other host of things that happen every single day. I think it's smart to prepare for the worst as no harm can come from it. It is important for me to maintain some financial independence and maintain my high credit rating no matter what happens. "

Actually, I know a couple who are planning to be divorced, at least one of the two is, and that person has not been quiet about it since they got married. It's very sad to watch, especially as the other person doesn't seem to get what is happening.

If one has to rely on their spouse for financial support in anyway (example - mortgage payment that cannot be made on your income alone), then you are not a financially independent person. You are dependent on your spouse to be able to afford the life you are living. That's not a bad thing. It's just the way things are for many people. That isn't to say you couldn't be financially independent, if say you were willing to move into affordable housing for just yourself. While you cannot afford the payments on your own, you are not independent.

People prepare in their own way. Your way would not work for me, from what you have written, mine would not work for you, and sounds like neither of us want what that couple I know who have planned for divorce since marrying has set up!

I always had my own even when I was married.

Married 36 years. Put our fortunes together several years after we left our college lives. Joint checking, savings and retirement funds. I do, however, have a VISA card in my name only, as well as a few department store credit cards and a PayPal account. One of our utilities is in my name, as well. I feel good about this. Happy to be married, but happy to have my own identity.

We have yours ,mine and ours.Joint checking for the household and we have separate checking and saving accts as well as credit cards.

I have only 1 cc and i like it that way.I used to have more,but paid them all off ad didn't have any for several years,now i just have the one mainly for emergencies.

DH and i are exact opposites when it comes to money.It burns a hole in his pockets,and i'm the saver,bargain hunter,thrift shop shopper etc,and it's worked for us for at least the past 40 years out of 56.

We both grew up poor and from big families.Dh brother is just like me,and my sister who is married to his brother is just like my dh.Dh and my sister are aries,and myself and bil are picses.

Guess that explains it!!!
Kathi

We've been married 35 years, and we have everything held jointly, deed to our house, cars, checking and savings accounts. Not a problem for either of us.

"For me it is not about trust, it is about independance. [sic]"

"It is important for me to maintain some financial independence and maintain my high credit rating no matter what happens."

Last year, when I was still employed full time, I bought a brand new car, as I mentioned above. I put $15,000 down, and took out a $35,000 loan. I qualified for the loan using only my income and credit rating. I retired at the end of last year, and my monthly NET income is $600 per month more than it was when I was working (which makes me wonder why I didn't retire earlier!). So if for some unforeseen reason Hubs were to leave me, I'd be OK financially.

"Sorry to see the insecure DH lives on. A friend confided that her Old Country father gave her mother an unchanging stipend every week from the time they married until she became desperate, two children later. He never told her when he got a raise. She never had a dime of her own because he said she had no money sense. He said she would be grateful in retirement. He died before he retired. There was no savings. He'd blown it!"

I can remember back in 1970 when my father's boss died. The boss had everything -- house, cars, checking and savings accounts, credit cards, etc., in his name alone. He was married with kids (can't recall how many, though). My father said that everyone at the office was donating money to the widow so she could buy groceries! Daddy made sure that my sisters and I knew that it was important that we always had money of our own that we could get to if needed. And we paid attention. :-)