Just something to be thining about - you mentioned that one of the girls will be starting kindergarten. As a retired kindergarten teacher, one of the first things kids do is usually draw a picture of their family and then the teacher will have the child tell them about the picture and if the child can write any of the family member's names they will have them do it or the teacher will. If the pictures shows something that the family is doing together, the teacher can take dictation from the child and will write that out. You might consider how Tanna(?) will respond to this and whether she will be confused as to whom should be in the picture. For most kids, its a no brainer even if they have Stepmoms or Stepdads but with this situation, you never know. Another little issue is her last name. I am assuming for now that her name hasn't changed, but if it has, make sure she will recognize it when it is called. Little things can really turn into biggies with 5 year olds starting school, even if they have been in preschool. If you would like, I can send you some websites you can use with her to help get her ready.
So much more is expected of them in kindergarten than used to be. If she can print her name, practice it will just the first letter being a capital and the rest lowercase letters.

You may not recognize my posting name as I don't post alot but I would be happy to give you suggestions as to ways to maybe make starting school be a little easier of a transistion. You can contact me through GW email if you like.

Your updates have brought a spark to this board. Keep them coming.

Love, love the updates. I look forward to each and every one. Bless your family.
Kathy G in MI

Mboston...thank you so much for the tips. I had a long talk with her teacher and she knows the situation and yes the girls now have our last name and she's been practicing writing her name, numbers, we sing our ABC's all the time and of course her colors. She's doing really well. I have never seen a child sing as much as she does. She loves to make up silly songs. She has been so excited about starting school. She wanted a lunch box more than anything and I tried to explain to her that she will be in morning kindergarten and will be home for lunch but it was important to her so she picked out her lunch box.

Thanks everyone for listening to my updates....it's hard for me to not share every little thing. Being an instant mom of three has been amazing!

Keep sharing every little thing. I agree with the others: Your posts are a highlight of this board.

Mboston--how kind you are to share your knowledge. I well remember the day my oldest started kdg--I was so excited, proud.

No, firemanwife we are NOT getting tired of your reports! Anyway, the good thing is if people are not interested, they can bypass your postings. So don't worry about that.

It's good that you already talked to her teacher! Starting as a team will help your new daughter be successful.
I work in kindergarten now. While we talk about family early in the year, the picture we have them draw on the first day is just of themselves. We save it and do it again at the end of the year so they can compare. Given the variety of family situations (divorce so they have two families, parents being deployed) we don't want to add any stress to an already potentially stressful day! Of course one little girl a couple years ago felt compelled to draw all of the Disney princesses in her picture and would not be corrected!

Considering that the Bio Mom didn't want them (that is so so heartbreaking, but at least she admitted it and signed them over to someone who will give them a great life), I was wondering about kindergarten and how much Tanna has learned thus far. Can she recognize which letter is which? Work on shapes too. How cute about the lunch box! Maybe they will have a snack time so she can actually use it. My kids went to kindergarten in GA and FL and it was always full day and they had lunch and snacks. Its a shame the grandma is angry. She should be very grateful. Keep sharing every little thing-we love hearing about it! If you have the opportunity, stop by a few garage sales, books are usually 25¢, and you can get great deals on other things as well, especially kid clothes. If you haven't bought a backpack yet, they are free this week at both Staples and Office Max.

I need your opinion.....
Tanna's friends mom just called and she would like to take the girls (Tanna and her daughter, her new friend) swimming today. I talked to Tanna about it and she seems excited but a little nervous about leaving me. She will be a little over an hour away so if I need to pick her up it will take a while to get to her and I don't want her to panic.
Should I encourage her to go?

"the girls and their dad". Those words really made me smile this morning. Thanks for taking the time to share with us!

mboston gave great advise, and it is wonderful you have already talked to her teacher. You really proceeded into parenthood with great instincts!

No, I, for one am NOT tired of your updates. Thank you for sharing this terrific REAL-REALITY story with us. Your updates always make me feel good, even if they give me a lump in my throat.

FMW - about the swimming... do you feel comfortable with Tanna going swimming with another Mom and daughter? Do you know this Mom? If Tanna is unsure would it be possible for you to go also and take the other 2 girls? I know that would be difficult especially since they are so young.

This is all new for you and it takes a while to feel confident with your decisions.

And will Tanna get to ride a school bus for Kindergarten? That's what my kids looked forward to. And I love reading the updates - keep them coming.

Thanks, Maire

About the swimming-unless it is someone you are very close to (a best friend) I wouldn't do it. She just met the people. An hour away is pretty far for a kindergartner. You could have the friend over instead and turn on a sprinkler in the backyard.

Tough decision about the swimming.....I have no advice.
I love reading about your family so please keep the updates coming.

I would be cautious about letting Tanna (or any of the girls) go with someone who you're not 'close' to. People have a way of asking questions or saying things that may be inappropriate or confuse a child, especially one who is so young and very fragile. Not that it would be intentional (or maybe it would...you don't know them well enough to gauge how they are). I would offer to go along so you can keep an eye on things.

Just my 2 cents ;o)

Well, I for one totally enjoy your updates and growth into Motherhood. I think you should blog so the girls can read it when they are older.

Just sayin'. I had a Niece that lived with me and she has great issues. She never felt loved no matter what I did or do now.

I love the updates. Keep them coming. I doubt I'd let Tanna go with such a new found friend..(unless I went along) JMO

FWife, thanks so much for shaing all the details. I'd be a little nervous about letting Tanna get so far away. Can you volunteer to "hang out" and help? I know when my kids were little and got invited to parties (swimming, birthday,etc) I usually stayed at the home of the party and kept in the background, helped set up the party, clean up, etc. . That way I could keep an eye on things and my daughters felt safe because I was nearby. That's my only advice.

Are you kidding! I'm not bored at all with the updates, in fact I look forward to them!

About the swimming. If they were going to the local pool, I would cinsider it, but I think Tanna could even have a problem with riding in the car that far from her precious new "home." Next year might be different, but that is aweful far for going swimming. She needs to learn the "stranger/danger" thing yet, and at this point she may not have any idea who is a stranger!

Late to the game, but have been reading all your posts about your girls!

When will you be sharing photos??? Can't wait to see them!

I am an occassional lurker and even more of an occassional poster!
But I am tuning in every day to read about your family, :-) I find your stories about your daughters so heartwarming. I can actually feel the love in your words!!!!

Please keep your stories going! Moms have bragging rights you know, so excersize those rights! :-)

As for the swimming - gosh that's a toughie. But I think that it may be a little too soon for such an adventure, especially when she is just starting to settle in. Besides, I think you would worry yourself sick about her the whole time she's gone!
Looking forward to more updates!
BJ

About the swimming, is it too late to suggest an alternate activity to Tanna? Let her chose between the two and hopefully she will choose not to go on the swim trip. If she does chose it, then I would definitely go along also. This would let Tanna know that there are choices that she can sometimes control.

Which brings up another situation. Do you have a sitter on standby? You never know when there might be an emergency and you will need to take one child to the ER, or the doctor. If you already have a sitter, maybe this would be a good time for just you and Tanna to go with the friends.

No, don't stop the updates. I'm loving them, and they remind me of those days when I had little ones.

Sue

Okay...change of plans...I couldn't let her go. I could tell she really wanted to go swimming but didn't want to leave. We bought them a little pool last weekend and they are pretty much living in it. So today I ran down to the store and bought a huge bag of water balloons and filled the pool full of water balloons for them to play with. I just couldn't let her make that kind of decision. Their dad, my DH helped me set up a little water course around the backyard that the girls are totally excited about. The other girls mom is a dear friend of ours and she's been so good to include Tanna in things, she's bringing over lunches today for the girls while they play in our yard.
Whew...I just feel better about her being close to home.

The school is right up the street from our home. We can see it from the kitchen window which I think will help Tanna too knowing she's still close.

Right now Trace is trying to see how many water balloons she can shove in her swim suit. I am taking pics like crazy. The little nut!

I am still leary of posting pics of the girls. I doubt their mom or her mom know about this site but I am just being safe. Until all the t's are crossed and i's are dotted we are being very careful. I haven't posted pics to anyone. I haven't even sent my family pics via email for fear of them being accidenlty forwarded on. She just makes me so nervous. She was just fine about giving us the girls until her mom got involved...don't get me wrong she still doesn't want them so I'm not sure why she's so mad but for what ever reason she is. She and her mother posted some awful things on my facebook so I took them off and secured everything so only family can see. Ugg!

You are right not to post pictures. Did you know that if someone googles a topic, that posts from Garden Web show up? Its kinda scary so I wouldn't take any chances.

As much as we all want to see pix, I wouldn't for safety sake. mom seems a little unstable.

How about just a silhouette shot of the family,? I'd settle for that! I think that would be cute and it certainly wouldn't give any clues away to anyone but it would give us something to chew on!

I agree about the pictures. One reason I don't post pictures of my GD's is their parent is in law enforcement and I just don't want to take any chances. You are doing a great job and maybe when school starts, later in the year you can help out at the school.

Keep the updates coming! I'm glad you decided not to let her go swimming so far away. Even in a normal situation, I wouldn't have let them go that far at that age without me, unless it was a relative, and then I would think about it.

Tami

I love reading your story of your family and the updates. I'm really relieved that you have decided not to post photos of the children. It's too risky during these times. You and your dh are a very special couple with a very special family! Thank you for sharing them through the updates.

You just keep the updates coming. I love coming every day and reading them. I think you are wise for not posting the girls pictures, and also made a wise decision regarding going swimming. God bless you, your husband and those precious girls.

I love each and every one of your posts. It brings back my faith in the goodness of people. I would love to see your family but we all understand what you are dealing with. Just remember that when you are safe to post we are going to drive you crazy! Please keep posting. We are all so very happy for you!

Trish

I am with Linners on this.. Keep the updates coming..I have only been back for a short time, but I am loving it. I am married to a retired firefighter.. and love that too.. lol

Kitt

Please be REALLY careful with balloons. They can be deadly if the kids put them into their mouths!

Very good decision in regards to the swimming! If I've read all your posts correctly, the mom of Tanna's new friend is a friend of yours. I'm sure she would have understood the hesitation! She just probably never thought about that being a possibility.

I don't mean to add to your apprehension, but along with not putting the children's pictures on the web, it might be a good idea not to use their real names. Anyone could Google the 3 names and find this site and be able to get a lot of information. Give them screen names! If the names you have been using are real, then you might need a change to go along with their screen names to cause a disconnect from what has already been. Maybe the names can be erased from all these posts, but that would be a huge job!

Hopefully it will not even be necessary.

I feel proud to know you and able to share in your excitement. You are sounding like a wonder woman, even with the meltdown. LOL when our three were young, we lived alone the river, with a yard that was over 500 ft deep, going to the shore. When things were overwhelming, sometimes I would just sneak off and sit by the shore and watch the river run by. I never had more than 15 min before they all found me, but it worked! Maybe you need to establish a spot that is your escape/retreat space, that needs to be respected by all. The bathroom never worked for me, because it didn't take long before they were lying on the floor shouting through the crack under the door "Hey Mom, what are you doing!" LOL

I was thinking the same thing about their names on the web, at least until the adoption is final. I don't understand the anger from the other side. Documant anything they do.

Well I just did a google..and nothing comes up with their names...

So don't worry about that.

:>) Sounds like the day worked out perfectly!!

It sure does-just google Tanna and Trace-it goes to the KT

I hadn't thought to try it!
Yes, if you use both names you get more than one link to the KT.

I'm bringing this to the top so you don't miss it in the morning.

I love reading your updates! Keep them coming. :o)

I've been reading your story, but it wasn't till you said something about NOT keeping them up that made me realize I just HAD to step up and write to say how much I'm also enjoying this. Now I can understand how people used to watch soap operas (Are there any of them anymore?) The "characters" become so real and you are wondering what's happening in their lives...keep it up! I never watched soap operas, but I'm loving this.....Thank you for making us all a part of this wonderful saga.

Love the updates. I think you are wise not to post pictures.

I'm bumping this up again in hopes that firemanswife will see the concern about the names --- or am I overreacting a bit?

I'm thinking I'd be more paranoid about posting/using their names, than I would posting pictures. It's not like the birth mother and her mother don't know where the kids are...so posting pictures with "Sharing Pictures" as a title wouldn't really reveal anything. On the other hand..the posts with names..??? Just saying!

That's why I'm hopeing she will notice this. She has replied on the other thread but not this one.

CB, thank you for the encouragement, I was beginning to think "I" was getting paranoid!

don't stop..it's been so much fun discovering the family along with you..i just hope we don't overwhelm you with all the parenting suggestions...it's just our way of trying to help your transition phase...

kind of worried on the flip side that the girls will ask about bio-mom, at some point...that was the hardest thing my gf faced, twice..with her first adopted child, and then her 4 kids from the same family...

I love the updates too. Keeping those girls safe and with you permanently is one of the most important things you can do. Would love to see pics but I think you're right not to post them. I hope you get all the i's dotted and the t's crossed really soon.

Oh I find your posts about your new family delightful!

That is true about the names though. They google your posts right up. Maybe DD#1, #2 and #3 instead? Not as cute but safer.

I don't understand.... Aren't the bio mom and the grandmother your aunt and cousin? Doesn't that mean they already know where the kids are living? Posting pictures is your choice, I'm just confused as to why it would be dangerous as far as the girls biological mother and grandmother are concerned. I probably missed some of your updates along the way as I don't get to the KT on a daily basis. Also, I was wondering about the girls biological father. Is he not involved at all?

Good point, firemanswife!

And another good point about their names. I hadn't even thought of that!