When the 'idiot' moved into his newly built home next door to us about 7 years ago, he would set the sprinkler on his newly laid sod and then leave for hours on end. I had a flower garden that was in full sun and really preferred somewhat dry conditions. His watering overflowed onto my yard through the wood fence. I took a tarp and covered the fence (on his side - which was really my side due to stupidity on the part of the fence installer's part). His golf was more important than other things.

The sod did not drown, but he quit the watering nevertheless. Recently, he abandoned his house. He had 3 different vehicles during the past year, each smaller and older. I am guessing that he walked away from his mortgage. However, I did seem him picking up his mail on Saturday afternoons. I sent a nice letter addressed to "The Loser" imploring him to get a service to mow. That worked.

Two doors away the other direction, a new owner moved into a 'used' home and has done nothing in the yard. It looks horrible. I sent a letter addressed to "The Slob". In it I mentioned all the ugliness of his yard and related that some day he might come home to dead everything in his yard due to a non-selective herbicide. He should have received it on Saturday last. Nothing yet.

You have a bit of time, send letters (with a signature of 'a neighbor') listing their stupid things. If you get 2 or 3 to take action, I would consider that a victory. Otherwise, you might consider knocking on doors and offering to educate the occupants on the right thing to do.

I am somewhat aggressive this way, much to the chagrin of the missus, but I blame it on genetics. I just cannot help myself. If you need me, I'll drive to Kansas and kick butt!

Jim

When I lived in a new development with an HOA still controlled by the builder, we got together as an owner's group. We had a newsletter, we had some people willing to take the initiative to get information out.

IMO, forming this type of shadow HOA is valuable so that you don't end up looking like a controlling know-it-all.

What's a patio home?

Neighbors are neighbors, you can't choose who comes or goes, nor have much influence on what they do in-between. The luck of the draw can go either way.

Our neighborhood doesn't have much turnover but we try to do an outreach to new arrivals so that there's a least the positive start to communication. After that, we keep our fingers crossed.

People have been known to move because of dissatisfaction with neighbors. Good luck.

If the subject of dying sod comes up when you are chatting with them, then I would mention overwatering. I would not go knock on the door and say, hey, you're killing your grass.

Sometimes I take a walk around my block and chat with neighbors. I know a little more about gardening than most on my street, so if they ask for tips or bemoan some problem, I am happy to give a solution (if there is one).

My neighbors across the street (who I like a lot) planted roses and dahlias. I showed them how to prune the roses and mentioned deadheading them. They also planted dahlias, which they thought were perennials. Had to tell them no, they aren't.

So, start taking walks and get friendly, then mention the overwatering. It's a lot of work to be a single home owner.

If the subject comes up, I'd say something. Sometimes I make a suggestion anyway. Over-watering is a big problem with new homes here. Most of the homeowners have no clue what to do. We moved into a brand new house last year with butt ugly landscaping. I hated the landscaping so much that I started redoing it the week I moved in. Now I'm known as the person with the best flower gardens. Neighbors will ask me questions. I try to help if I can. The effort is starting to pay off.

I'll look at it from the other side. When I first started out and knew nothing, I appreciated every bit of information, tips and help I received.

I just got new next door neighbors last year. They had new sod and I watered it for them because they went on vacation right when they moved in. I also gave them a directory our little town puts together with our names and addresses and the businesses in town. Also gave them the lowdown on the trash collection.

I would walk around and if the people are out, strike up a conversation and voice your concern about the overwatering. They probably just don't know what they are doing.

Good luck.

Perhaps you can find some articles from your local agricultural extension office re proper lawn care in your area. Make copies and put them in mailboxes/front doors. Or offer to start an HOA that just deals with how to maintain the neighborhood. Pick a day, time, place (your house?) put flyers in mailboxes and see how many show up. Most folks want their own houses and the neighborhood to look nice so will be cooperative once they know not to water so much, etc. and as the HOA develops other issues can be addressed.

Probably a good idea to get to know people as is convenient to each, prior to issues coming up. Then when there is an issue, possibly deal with it obliquely, rather than head on, especially at first. When you find an issue, start the visit with conversation on other subjects before bringing up the chicken bone that you want to pick.

Diplomacy helps.

I like the idea of a shadow HOA, as well: if nothing else, it'll help you identify possible allies, when issues arise with officialdom.

ole joyful

@snidely... in KS a patio home is usually a smaller home on a small lot, with lawn maintenance, and often snow removal, a part of the package. Here, we have only 10' between homes, on 48' lots.

Last fall, I sent an email to one young neighbor, mentioning that while walking past I noticed her junipers were covered with bagworms... and included an extension publication on their treatment. The 'bags' were gone a while later, but I never received so much as a 'ok, thanks' in response. I thought I was being neighborly?

Another thing, we almost never see anyone outside. People even close their garage doors before exiting their cars! And window blinds are generally shut tight (Are they cave dwellers?). Anyway, we thought more empty nesters and older adults would be moving here and had really hoped for a friendly neighborhood. But, other than a passing wave people stay inside. Patios are tiny, tiny... only 9x9, so there's not outdoor entertaining options.

Thank you SO MUCH for the suggestions. I'm considering several. And Jim... don't think any 'kicking' would help.

A teensy observation....don't offer 'friendly ' advice with any expectations of a thank you.

Could you put together a brief sheet of "Landscape Advice" that would address the things your new neighbors need to know?

You could mail it anonymously to *everyone* in the development. Would the management company or bank 'front' this for you in the spirit of keeping things looking good? They ARE still trying to sell properties there, right?

It's not 'nosey' to want the development to look good. It's not just about your enjoyment of your home, but the value of your property.

Won't the bank cease to be in charge once a certain percentage of the property is sold? Won't you have to form a HOA of actual home owners if you all have property 'in common'?

I think the idea of putting information on watering and lawn care into a general format and leaving it for each homeowner is a great way to help. I wouldn't expect gratitude, however. I notice even on GW, posters will drop in with a question yet never acknowledge or thank those who respond. I'm not sure why certain people have lost the ability to say, "thank you."

I have neighbours that often offer "friendly advice" about how to get the dandilions, plantain, and clover out of my lawn.

So I reciprocate and give them recipes for dandilion green salad with fried blossoms, and tell them that unopened dandilion buds taste a bit like mushrooms when sauteed in a bit of butter.

I share my plantain salve or oil, and explain how you can actually collect and eat the seeds, they are a mucilage kind of like chia or flax. Bee sting? Chew up a leaf and slap that sucker on there.

Oh and the clover? Yeah. We seed that. Nitrogen fixer. Stays green even in drought and you never have to fertilize.

Funny, they want me to thank THEM for their advice, but I never get thanks for mine?

*scratching head*

Dances.

Reminds me of the rhubarb patch I planted many years ago... I knew it would require a lot of water and wanted to see how well the soil would stay moist so that I'd know how frequently to water it. For some odd reason, it *never* seemed to need water! Eventually I learned that my "helpful" neighbor decided I wouldn't know how to water it, so she had been dumping unknown amounts of water on my patch daily. I didn't thank her.

I am enjoying my morning laugh! This topic is generating many interesting perspectives... and thank you to each for offering. My reason for the OP, and having a friendly chat at this table, is precisely to garner just how differently people react to 'help' and suggestions.

NOT wanting to come across as a busy-body, is my goal. But does one do nothing? As dances related... who is to determine what is a weed?

A new example: A very young woman moved in 5 weeks ago and new sod was installed. Two others got sod as well. Grass was watered four times a day for the first week, then gradually tapered off. After three weeks the new grass was mowed, then a week later mowed again.

This young woman, however, never stopped the 4x daily watering. Her grass has not been available to the mowing contractors. Said grass is almost 15" tall. She is flooding out her neighbors side yard. There is no sign she is around. What to do?

The bank/developer is allowing 'native plant material' to thrive on vacant undeveloped lots. These plants next door are approaching 4' in height. The bankers stay in their distant offices. The HOA managers are a post office box somewhere. Bottom line... no one is watching the ship.

Dances! You make me hoot with laughter. It's great to "see" you!

I always welcome clover and dandelions in my yard. My rabbits (indoor pets) love them. Such a delight!

Regarding the woman flooding out the neighbors' yard, I think I'd let the affected neighbor handle that.

(Although, I DO hate wasteful watering!)

Some times just the way one handles suggestions doesn't always come across as being helpful...Maybe you are coming across as having an attitude or pushy or as in butting in..maybe the idea of just a bit of printed info when no one is looking is the best idea..

Maybe you are coming across as the neighborhood busybody...

I would suggest that you get your lawn in tip top shape, nice and green and the envy of all the neighbors and then they will be knocking on your door asking for advice...or every time they see you out in the yard they will come over instead of disliking you for butting into their business. .

I'll bet when they get their water bill, they will cut back on watering!

Other than the issue last year, I have said nothing... merely observed. Plus, all lawn maintenance is done by the HOA... mowing, fertilizing, weed treatment and mulching the front landscape bed.

After much thoughtful consideration of the comments posted, I'm thinking it might be best to do nothing. The fact I have been a student of horticulture for over 40 years and a extension trained master gardener for 20, might be kept to myself. If specifically asked, I can reply, but otherwise a smile and nod may suffice!

Thanks all.

Kitykat,

I think your last message was very wise.

Just a small observation...In reading through your comments you really do seem to spend a lot of time and energy cataloguing every issue. Perhaps it would be wise to focus less on what everyone is doing with their yards.

I completely understand that your credentials perhaps make you more aware of failures and sensitive to shortcomings in the gardening department, but your neighbors may not have the same perspective.

When I was just starting out I learned the hard way - through my pocket book! Nothing made me figure things out faster than spending money replacing plants that had been overwatered, underwatered, infested, neglected, or suffocated. You mention your neighbors are mostly young - give them time to learn as we all did.

This post was edited by tally on Fri, Jun 27, 14 at 0:32