hong I'm probably the most impatient person around! lol! It's just NOT one of my better qualities - sorry! Example: I've been waiting patiently (not) for Spring to 'SPRING!' - so the brugs can go outside! lol! I'm sure Mark is not in trouble - so I wouldn't worry about it. We all come here as a group of friends (more like family) to share our love for brugs & anyhing else that might peak our interest. We help one another as best we can. So please - as someone new to the forum family - welcome & enjoy the people here! :) We have a great group of people here who are ready, able, and willing to help. What more can I say?? I have a feeling after awhile you'll fit in with us - or we'll fit in with you! lol! Either way - we ALL benefit! Anyway - I'm sure you'll enjoy the brug you purchased from Country Garden. :) Which one did you finally buy? Inquiring minds want to know! Mike

ladyinredfromokla-homey, Are there girls living nearby that may be not in that school with whom she might develop a friendship? Does she have some hobbies or other interests which can challenge her brain and provide other outlets for her energy which are separate from the school issues? Sometimes physical activity, such as the Tae Kwun Do mentioned earlier, can help work off surplus negative energy. When Dad got mad, he'd often go split some wood to fit the kitchen stove ... and when Mom got out the dust mop for some energetic dusting ... it was a often good time to make one's self scarce for a while! Does she have an above-average academic record? Though many in our society, especially boys, pooh-pooh such achievements, especially around that age level, the young generation are in global competition and many young people from other countries have better scores in academic tests than our kids do. Those of ours who do well will be thankful, in future years. Often having other strings on our violin is helpful. Would it help to let your daughter come and read the messages that have been posted here? Does she have a close, warm relationship with her siblings (apart from occasional outbursts) and Dad? You didn't mention anything about her relationship with her Dad. Often, especially for a daughter, having a feeling of being respected by, close to and good buddies with Dad does great things for their self-esteem and confidence that they can handle the issues that develop in other areas of their lives. With aunts, uncles and cousins, as well. A feeling of solidarity with extended family often helps young ones feel that they have a solider foundation to their lives than if they feel that they are sort of alone. Assurance that they enjoy understanding, respect and affection from cousins or other friends can assure them that the nasty words that they hear from the down-putters are only a minor part of their whole life. Good wishes to the both of you and to all in your family. ole joyful

Photography: If you are in NYC and you want to visit the Empire State Building and you have a map. It will not be difficult for you to find the place. And if you don’t have a map, you can drive for days and still not find the building. Is the person with the map a better driver? I am not a good photographer. I use extremely simple methods (the map). I use one light, one tripod and the camera on automatic for the same shots every time. Plating: I have been told that I have a unique style. I don’t know what that means. I do find it interesting that all food by nature have God’s given colors and geometry. So I try to take advantage what nature has to offer. There are many plating styles which I don’t practice, for many reasons, mostly because I don’t have the time to perform intricate carving and stacking. I don’t have the patience to take food to a presentation plate, arrange, assemble, move, sculpt, tweezer -----. compose, compose and compose---tasting menu style ----- then relocate the food on a serving plate, reheat and serve. The dishes that I take pictures with are the same dishes that go on the dinner table. I think there is no style that will please all, which is very interesting to me. I learn a lot from good comments and very critical comments. I find age differences, culture, geography, etc. have a lot to do with perception of and preference to aesthetics. After all, if you go to a fine arts museum, chances you will hate at least half of the “art” there. Sleevendog, everything you have said has been said to me by more than one person more than once. I have no disagreement with your thesis. I can see that you have some background in artistic training. I certainly do not think you are being critical at all. You have made valid observations from your perspective and I do appreciate them. I assure you each time I create some dishes, I will be thinking of your comments before I click. The important issue in discussion here is really for those who have some degree of photophobia. Taking good food pictures and creating good plating while not that important, but if you want to add additional joy to the eating experience, it is much easier and cheaper than you realize. A while back, I decided to send a couple of pictures and entered in a cooking competition sponsored by a major publication and some food companies. I was immediately qualified just by the pictures I sent. During the actual cooking, the appliance which was given to me (All finalists cook with the same appliances) failed. I was unable to fully execute my recipe. However, the picture of my plating was used in the centerfold by the publication and also the Facebook advertisement for the sponsoring food company. Then recently I entered another competition sponsored by a food forum. I won the competition just by the photos I submitted. I did post those pictures here in this forum. Those were a lot of fun to brag to my friends and family. And the equipment used for the photos? As I said nothing more than one light bulb, and a broken kitchen container. Lighting is very important, for instance, the same picture of the artistically plated dish up thread by Sleevendog would look totally different if it were taken with better lighting; No shaking, no bad lighting, that is the “Map” to good photos even with cheap cameras. Just do it. Plate, click, plate, click ------- Small investment in learning time for a life time of amazing food fun! dcarch

I thought I would address some of your inquiries - My husband and I most definitely talked/talk about this. We both feel very similarly about the situation, but I think he is more angry because it he felt it was embarrassing and disrespectful. I have let him take the lead in the situation. The last time he spoke to her was over a month ago. I actually encourage he to talk with his sister, but she has been slowly cutting him and the rest of the family off - she changed her cell and home phone numbers and email address and didn't tell anyone. Their grandparents were in a serious car accident a couple of months ago and no one knew how to get a hold of her. I absolutely do not talk about this publicly, however I do talk with my close friends and immediate family - my husband knows what I say and to whom regarding his sister. He does not mind and understands. I don't expect her to apologize for her BF's behavior. I think it would have been nice if she had said that she was sorry that she had to leave the reception so early and that she missed such a special day in her only brother's life. I am over the lack of apology and have been for months. I think that it is really difficult to say that this is only my DH's issue, b/c I am apart of the family now. But, I most definitely differ to my DH's wishes re: what to do in handling his sister. Except I do insist on the following: we send her a Christmas card from us. I have talked to DH about my suspicions about her being in a borderline abusive relationship. They really have all the telltale signs (isolation, withdrawl, dominate personality with strong machoistic tendancies, etc.). We don't believe he is physically abusing her (yet), but we know about the signs. I think we will continue to follow her lead on the direction of the relationship, but we are most definitely vocal about the fact that we care about her and would like nothing more to at least be civil. BTW, I had a wonderful time at my wedding and reception. I didn't realize half of the things that happened were going on until after the honeymoon. My brother, DH's BM and ushers, and other loved ones worked at handling everything discreetly. I think most guests didn't even know that these things happened too. I know my Grandmothers had/have no clue. I guess we will just continue to send cards to her for her birthday and holidays, for now. I guess I just wanted to check to see if DH and I should be doing more. DH and I are extremely close to my family, and it pains me that we can't establish a good relationship with his sister. But, I think I just need to come to terms with the fact that it isn't my fault - she doesn't understand how to have a relationship with anyone in her own family. She actually makes her own Mom cry when they talk by telling their Mom that she is fat and needs to loose weight and criticises her about her hair, clothes, etc. It is awful. Jenny is really mean and horrid to all of these people who love her so much. I truly do not understand her. My DH thinks that there is something broken in his sister - they are sooo different. It is amazing that they are siblings. I believe that she has a predisposition to be mean, but that she has also attached herself to a person (her BF) who is like poison. BF has the attitude that you should only have to do what you want to do no matter what, that he and Jenny are right, if anyone disgrees "F@#! them" - sorry for the language, but I've actually heard his say this before about several people. Sigh! Well, thank you for letting me vent. I wish that there was a solution to making the situation better, but there doesn't seem to be a magic bullet. I just have to let go of the idea that all siblings and families relationships work in a particular way when certain criteria are met - it just isn't so. I wish there was an explaination for her behavior - it just doesn't make any sense to me. Yes, her Mom and Dad aren't perfect, but I think there is something really wrong and illogical to her behavior.