(((Mike and Jacob))) I am so so sorry!

I can't make your decision, but how did it work for me? I wish I hadn't gone. I felt the very same about my cat Keegan as you do Jacob. Sounds exactly like our relationship. I worship him still.

Here is a link that might be useful: link I wrote about his last days.

I think you might, Mike. Think about how Jacob has followed you everywhere. Your presence has always meant so much to him, and never more than at this time. I've lost many pets, and have stayed with them till the end. Hearing is the last to go, and I'm glad it was my voice they heard throughout.

If you're concerned about crying at the vet's, don't be. I always cried, although I tried to keep my voice calm and comforting until it was all over. Often, the vets cried too.

I'm sorry you have to go through this, but you've made the right decision for Jacob. I have good reason to believe you will be reunited one day.

So very sorry for your difficult time. I don't know the severity of his kidney failure, but many animals have quality days with appropriate meds and dietary changes. Is that not a viable option?

I don't think anyone can answer your question for you. I have always chosen to be with my fur babies. Wanted to hold a head or a paw as they crossed the bridge.

Sending hugs your way.

We have been there for eight cats, and I regret not being there for my first. It's very peaceful, and the overriding concern that they don't continue to suffer pushes away the fear.

I would also have to add, if it's not too indelicate, that we made the decision to have each one cremated. They all sit with us on a special shelf with their name and dates engraved on their boxes. It gives me comfort to have them still with us.

I hope your pain will be replaced with good memories in time.

I think you should be there. I was 47 years old when I got my first dog (Bandit--a Yorkie). He was my best buddy, like Jacob is to you. We had him for 15 years and he never spent one day of his life away from us. When the time came, my husband and I took Bandit for his final visit with the vet (who is a warm and caring individual). She put us in a special room for that purpose, and we spent a few minutes with Bandit, talking to him--telling him how much we loved him and how much we would miss him...but also reliving some funny and happy times. When the vet came back in, I held him as she gave him the injection. The last voice he heard--and touch he felt--were mine. He went peacefully. The vet gave us a few more minutes alone with him, and we cried all the way home. The vet sent him to be cremated, and he is in a nice cherrywood box on our fireplace mantel (with his picture and a lock of his hair next to it). When I go, he will be buried with me.

The day after he left, we called the breeder and "ordered" a new puppy (who is in the same bloodline as Bandit). We had to wait almost 3 months to get him, but he was worth it (of course, those 3 months were very sad and lonely). I highly recommend getting a new pet.

Sending you a hug...and I also believe that Jacob will be waiting on the other side of the rainbow bridge, when your time comes.

Nothing I can say except I'm sorry. You are making the right choice.

Mike, I am so very sorry for you and Jakey. Most of us have had to make this decision on behalf of our beloved pets.

Since you asked for opinions, I'll give you mine....but the decision is entirely yours and yours alone.

I would not allow my pet to be without me. I'd ask my sister to drive and be my support.

Do you have any pictures of Jakey to share with us?

Mike, I went through this with my elderly cat Rachel, 2 days before my birthday in March. I couldnt be in the room either, but, had someone with me, that did stay. I have had to do this so many times over all my years, but, it never gets any easier. Its been a sad spring.. First the cat, and then my beloved basset Hound passed away here at home in May. He was also 11. I am so sorry you are having to go through this.

I'm sorry for what you're going through. Having pets is such a rewarding experience and it makes their final days very difficult. Fortunately, we have the ability to make quality of life decisions for them. It's hard but it's even harder to watch them decline.

I've lost many over the years and both that I lost to kidney failure were 20-1/2 and 18-1/2 and were part of the family since they were bitty kitties. I personally chose not to be because of my close attachment. I was able to witness something amazing with my 18-1/2 year old though. I believe his moment of passing was communicated to my via a shooting star. Even though it's been three years, I still become emotional when I think about him.

Only you can decide if you're making the right decision by being in the room. Your heart will never lose that part of him, no matter what you choose.

Even though this is very difficult, you will find peace. When you do, keep your heart open for another little monkey. In time, you will find you are ready for another (or two).

Here's a picture of the two who have become my monkeys and brighten my every day.

So sorry you are losing your long time companion, Jakey.

We have had and lost three Westies, and our current one, Eliot, age 14, is aging rapidly now. Death is never easy. Not being present can't help. Being present might.

I had taken our first dog into the vet to have is teeth cleaned because his breath was so bad. My 3-year-old son and I went to have lunch with a fre
iend and her young daughter. The vet called me there to say that when they anesthetized Charlie they discovered cancer of the tongue -- nothing to be done. Rather than bring him back out of anesthesia, we thought it best to up the drug and let him go. My last memory is of him trotting willingly off with the vet's tech...to get his teeth cleaned.

Westie #2, Rosie, was an escape artist and a runner. One day she ran towards a highway. We spent the whole day searching for her -- passing her body many times without seeing it. As the angle of the sun lowered, we found her under a deep curb. She'd been hit by a car. We buried her in our garden, crying all the while.

Westie #3, Pip, lived to almost 17, deaf and blind the last years. He developed growths in his muzzle that had him sneezing, then sneezing blood. He could have had exploratory surgery, but might not have lived through the anesthesia. We waited and hoped, but he grew weaker. One morning he could only raise his head enough to lick my hand. We called the vet, and my DH took him to be put down. I spent the hours picking up his toys, his dishes, and crying.

You will grieve anyway. I am sorry I wasn't WITH our dogs as they were put down, and plan to be there with Eliot -- some time not so far away.

Mike you have my sympathy. Only you can make that decision.

I'm so sorry.

When my dog Trudy, already nearly blind & totally deaf, developed a rapidly-growing cancer, I left her with the vet.

To this day, the image of that loyal little dog haunts me.

The last she saw of me was my back, retreating.

That was over 30 years ago, & I still remember it vividly & I still regret having left her.

Staying with them isn't bad;
it's very sad, but you won't have regrets.

I wish you the best.

I am so sorry.

When our cat Julius was 20 it was time to let him go. For me, there was no doubt that I would be with him at the time. I wanted my voice and my face and my touch to be the last things that he knew and I hope that they were a comfort to and for him. But that was the best choice for me. Only you can decide what is best for you.

You will cry regardless of your decision and your grief will be real. One of my cats just came by to talk to me. Powder sends his best to you and to Jacob. Julius and all the other pets already gone are waiting for him.

I just had to put my beloved cat down a few weeks ago. It's so, so very hard to do. I really think you should be in the room with your pet.

I wasn't able to. My fiancee was there, though, and so at least my cat had someone he loved and who loved him. However, similar to Sylvia, I still regret that the last thing my beloved kitty saw of me was me leaving. I wish I had stayed, and now it bothers me every day and there's nothing I can do about it.

When you love your pets as much as we all seem to do, it's far more likely you will regret not being there till the end. You have to be so unselfish to do it, and it's so, so hard.

Also, it will hurt badly, and your life/home will seem empty. But the good news is that it does get better. For me, personally, the first few days are terrible but within a week or so I start feeling like my old self, though I still miss my pet. It's helpful if you have other pets, or if you get a new pet so you don't have to think about an empty house.

And it's okay to cry. I cried when the vet said it was cancer, when I had to say goodbye, all the way home, for the next few days after that and each time a sympathy card came (I received 3 - one from the emergency vet, one from my regular vet and one from our pet insurance) with the handwritten, heartfelt messages.

Thank you everyone for the kind words. It's comforting to know that everyone has a similar story to help me along with this process. I'm going to go and be with him for his appointment....maybe it'll help me through it to see him in peace.

Hounds x two the vet told me with the severity of his kidney failure I may get a month tops with diet and giving him fluid injections. Right now all he does is sleep behind my entertainment center wrapped up in my drapes.

Rob333 thanks for sharing your story :)

I am so sorry! My thoughts are with you at this devastating time.

I think you've made a good decision, Mike. We'll be thinking of you and Jakey.

I wasn't there for my first dog, but I was there for the second one. Though very difficult, I found it a peaceful and comforting thing that I was there. I shed many tears but I felt very good that I was there for her. So, so sorry to hear about your cat. It's very hard to lose a furry friend.

You are welcome. I'm glad you're making your decision your way. We'll be there with you too. In thought, but we're right beside you.

I feel you are making the right decision for your Jacob-I know that I had to be with my Buddy when he had to be put to sleep-I miss him everyday,to this day,but never have regretted being with him thru to the end...hugs to you

Your doing the right thing. My sympathy goes with you, Just thinking about my sweet cat NOT being there has me in tears....

I'm so sorry for your loss...

I am so sorry! We had to put our 20 year old cat to sleep 11 days ago and it is very difficult and painful. Many hugs to you.

I'm so sorry for your loss, but thank you for being strong enough to make a hard decision. That is part of having a pet, because most likely, we will out live them. I like to be there, but if you choose not to, don't feel bad about it. I would encourage you to adopt a new little kitten, as soon as you feel up to it. There are so many at the shelters this time of year and I feel like it is a way to honor your pet's life, by taking in (and saving) another little kitten.

We just lost our beloved dog and I am so glad that I was there holding her when she took her last breath.It is hard,but I am so happy that she didn't go while we weren't home.She wasn't alone. It is so hard and we miss her so much.I know that we will never have another Sandy again,but we are trying to adopt one now.I think that it will give Jim something other to concentrate on than the Cancer. I don't want him to be alone. I feel for you Mike and you and Jake will be in my prayers.

Hugs Mike. There is no one "right" answer. You will know what is right for you and please do not try and second quess yourself or put yourself on a quilt trip. I've had many cats, been there and not over the years. Each situation is different. I have kept chronic renal failure cats alive for several years with subq fluids, meds and diets. Some benefit but I can also understand situations where this may not be the best option. Acute renal failure is entirely different. Sometimes I have only stayed for the sedation. The last time, it was an emergency cardiac situation and I had to actively assist as there was only the vet and me present. I have comfort in knowing it was the right choice to call the end to the resussitation effort. Sometimes I have decided not to stay as my anxiety would be picked up by my cat and therefore not helpful. As I have said... You should not be judged on which way you choose. We all know how much you will grieve this loss.

I was at the vets office once and in the waiting room with a dog who obviously had an osteosarcoma on a leg and was coughing which suggested lung mets. The man exited swinging the leash. Everyone shows their grief differently and I knew this man would be hit hard when the shock wore off.

Cyberhugs coming your way.
P.S. - I have always found the best way to honour my pet is to validate the relationship by adopting another when the time is right.

I lost my Foxy about 5 years ago.
She was very ill, an there was no hope for her. One night, I heard her crying as she managed to climb the steps to my bedroom. She cried all night....she wanted to be out of her pain.

First thing in the morning, I called the vet, and took her in....they took me right away, and I held her as she drew her last breaths.

She was at last , painless.

I don't regret it.

I'm glad too that you decided to be with him. My vet once shared with me that many of those who didn't stay called later and regretted not being there.
Pets are special, but some are uniquely special. Your Jakey sounds like one of those.
Sending caring thoughts.

I believe that someday we will be reunited with our beloved pets.
When it is your time, Mike, I think Jacob will be there for you, and with you, in spirit and memory.

Jakey is at peace now. It was much more difficult than I thought but I had my sister and mom with me. I was fine until I walked into the vet's office and then I was a basket case.

Thank you to each and every one of you for your kind words.

He's beautiful! I'm glad it's over. Peace to you.

((((((Mike))))) It is difficult but when you reflect back on it I'm sure you will be glad that you decided to be there. It's okay to cry.

Sending gentle hugs your way.

Celebrating Jakey's many happy years with his Mike.

I sure do *want* to believe in "The Rainbow Bridge" where our beloved pets are waiting, restored to their healthy selves.

What kind of person doesn't love and mourn a pet?

I'm so sorry for your loss, Mike. Jakey was a beautiful kitty.

I am so sorry!! He was very beautiful and also very lucky to be loved so much.

I am so sorry, you had to make that decision, but it was the best thing to. He would have suffered if you tried the drugs and the special diet.

Jakey is at peace now. I am glad that you stayed with him. He felt your love til the end.

Even though we were in process of adopting a new cat when our cat Smudge had to be put down. We didn't get to be with her, she was in surgery to remove a cancerous cyst. But her heart was too weak to withstand the attempts the vet made to save her. The vet was crying when she was telling me.

We lost another cat that came with the house we bought. We were with him til the end. The vet had plenty of tissues in the room, and it was in the back of the office so our cries weren't heard all over the office.

You will get through this, It will be rough but you will do it for Jakey, As soon as you can go adopt a new little kittie.

As I said earlier, I know what you are going through. You have my hugs and prayes.

What a pretty kittie! ((((hugs))))

He was a beauty.

& you (we) can see the love & trust in his eyes.

Bless you.

Take care of yourself.

I'm sure you will never regret your decision. When the vet told me that my first cat was near death due to kidney problems, I chose not to be there at the end and have always regretted it. I did give her a hug before taking her to the vet's office that morning and that gives me a little comfort. I now have two cats and when it is their time to go, I will most definitely be there with them.

Everyone thank you again for helping me get through this day.

Big hugs, Mike. I agree with your decision and you'll have no regrets and hopefully one of these days, soon, you'll start to remember all the happy times you and Jake had together.

I know well the pain you feel tonight.

Big hugs Mike! I am so sorry. I too know the pain in you are in. I cried as I read your story. You did the right thing today as painful as it was. My black lab had kidney failure and I tried to prolong his life by doing at home IV's for a month and saw how tough it was on him. I had to stop thinking about myself and do the best for him. The toughest descison of my life.

We are here for you.

Just checking in. Thinking of you this morning, and sending more hugs your way.

Sending you a cyber hug of understanding of the loss you are feeling right now, but wanting you to know that your being there to the end for Jakey was the right thing to do. We are human parents to our furkids and what mom or dad wouldn't be there for their human child? A furkid is really no different in my opinion. They are family too. The love is just as strong. I firmly believe that we will be reunited with "all" of our loved ones when our time comes to leave this earth for our eternal home. Take comfort in knowing that Jakey is fine now and will be waiting for you.

Sorry to hear that your beloved pet was in such deep trouble, and of your concern about whether to have his life terminated Mike ... but his days would have been numbered and less than comfortable.

Then of your concern about whether to be with him at the end. I was going to suggest that I expected that you'd be happier, later, to know that you'd been with him through everything ... as he chose to be with you through those years.

May you have peace of heart through your grieving.

ole joyful

I have lost plenty of cats and some dogs in my life time.

And let me tell you, go ahead and sob and cry as hard or little as you want.

I went crazy when lost our last pets and talk about black hole left in heart. It was so hard to put our 17 year old cat down, he had old aged issues and on medication. The vet told us that he was on his last breath.

I still miss my pets alot.

hugs.

Hi everyone....thank you once again for helping me through this. Today was pretty bad...had 3 breakdowns. My friends keep telling me it will get better but it just takes time. I wish time would go back so I can hold him one more time :(

Hi Mike,

I'm glad you decided to post again. Losing a pet is losing a member of your family, and it will take time to heal that hole in your heart. There will be many more tears, and that's OK because Jakey is worth it. Jakey was a beautiful cat - thanks so much for posting the picture.

I hope that as time passes the pain is replaced with good memories, and eventually Jakey will bring back a wistful smile when you remember silly times and cuddly times together. I cherish my good memories, and I know you will cherish yours.

(((Mike)))

Everyone has said all that can be said. I'm so sorry for your loss. That Jakey was a handsome kitty. Print that picture you posted and keep it close. In time it will remind you of good times instead of sad.

Wishing you well.