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joyfulguy

Memo to citizens seeking office in upcoming provincial election

joyfulguy
9 years ago

This story appeared at the ROMEOs (Retired Old Men Eating Out) coffee hour at church this morning.

Try to remember this when you vote in June!

Elections

While walking down the street one day an M P P (Member of Provincial Parliament) is struck by a truck and, tragically, dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven", says St. Peter "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you".

"No problem, just let me in", says the man.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity", continued St. Peter.

[Sometimes life offers those little surprises ... with more choices than we'd expected]

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven", says the MPP.

"I'm sorry - but we have our rules", countered St. Peter.

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down to hell [no reference to distance ... or time]. The doors open, and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other political colleagues.

Everyone is well dressed and happy, and they run to meet him, shake his hand and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. [Some prejudice here on the part of the narrator, possibly?]

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly, pleasant guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that, before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves as the elevator rises ...

The elevator goes up, up, up ... and the door opens at heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him, saying, "Now it's time to visit heaven".

So ... 24 hours pass, with the MPP joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing harps and singing [no reference to "dancing" ... maybe out of bounds, in heaven?].

They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well, then ... you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose our eternity", St. Peter requires.

The MPP reflects for a minute, then he answers, "Well ... I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful ... but I think I would be better off [?!] in hell".

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down ... and a couple more downs ...

... to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land, covered with waste and garbage.

He sees all of his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it into black bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.

"I don't understand", stammers the MPP, "Two days ago when I was here there was a golf course and clubhouse and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland, full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened??"!!

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Two days ago we were campaigning ...

... today ... you voted!".

ole joyful

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