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| I recently visited a small (textile) town in NC that was in very poor shape. You could see that the town had once been quite something, but it had fallen on very hard times.
The housing stock was in poor shape, but then I noticed - the cars were also in bad shape! I've never seen so many cars missing bumpers and windows and one was even missing a side panel. :( It was like a third-world country. Well, I was there to look for Sears Homes and I was on my way (very slowly) to a lecture in another town. A few turns here and there and I was in a not-so-good part of town. I noticed an old guy (50-something) running and I was busy trying to look at houses and look out for kids and look out for unfamiliar signage. Next thing I knew, he was knocking on the window of my car, gesturing at me to lower the driver's side window. I looked in his eyes (his face was right up against the window) and I felt a little creeped out. I just got a bad vibe. He was quite bedraggled and unkempt, and I thought he was probably homeless. He was right beside the car (driver's side) and he urgently gestured for me to open my window. I paused for maybe three seconds, and then turned the steering wheel hard to the right and took off - in a hurry. And then I took a better look around my surroundings and realized, I just needed to get out of that whole area. For the next 10 minutes, I had the shakes. It really unnerved me. And after that, I felt a little guilty. In retrospect, I just should have been paying more attention to my surroundings. :( So, what would you have done? PS. They didn't have but a couple kit homes in that town.
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Follow-Up Postings:
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| I would have done the same thing. You didn't know the guy and what could he have possibly wanted to ask or tell you? You were a single woman stranger in a strange place, and you can't be too careful these days. Sometimes we need to trust our instincts. |
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- Posted by iowagirl2006 (My Page) on Wed, May 16, 12 at 16:51
| Hard to say - but I am a firm believer in "Gut feelings". That said - I am sure DH and I look quite bedraggled sometimes when we are working. DH can be REALLY dirty and dusty depending on what he has to do that day on the farm. When we have people that are strangers come on the farm, we are very suspicious and not super friendly. (most of the "visitors" are salesmen). We would be more than unfriendly if someone was taking pictures of our livestock/property... So ... who knows... I guess :) |
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| My camera was nowhere in view at the time. I was just cruising around the neighborhood, looking hither and yon. And this guy definitely had more going on that just a few layers of dirt. He had some sort of skin infection on his face and his eyes weren't "right." Scary dude. And yet, the "nice girl" in me wonders what the guy needed... THAT'S the problem. :( |
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| Yes. The "nice girl" syndrome. Many of us have spent a life time trying to get over it :) |
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| You did the right thing, Rosemary. Too many people go missing because they are too trusting. Remember what our mother's taught us--don't talk to strangers. |
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| Stop your 'guilt trip'. There were certainly other places he coud go to get help if he neede it. If he wanted to warn you to leave...well, you did! |
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| Most crime experts as well as crime victims say you should always trust your gut. If it doesn't feel right, most likely it isn't. I had to chuckle when you said a 50 something is old :) |
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| Ye gods! You did exactly the right thing. |
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- Posted by ravencajun (My Page) on Wed, May 16, 12 at 18:24
| I had something similar happen to me several years ago, I also drove away because I was not going to put my self in a potentially dangerous situation. I did however pull into the first parking lot with pecople around and called 911. I explained the situation and suggested they might send a car to the area. They assured me I had done the right thing. All it would take, you crack open your windows, he shoves a small canister of pepper spray or mace or worse, and you are quickly in a very bad situation. |
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| You did the right thing, Rosemary. I understand worrying about it though... There are so many people on drugs now....all kinds...not just street drugs...no telling what he would have done. |
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| You did exactly the right thing, imho - always go with your gut - it's your survival instinct kicking in. |
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| You were by yourself in a strange town. Surely the man didn't really expect you to stop. I'm assuming he wasn't a stranger in that town, he could have talked to someone else. Better to keep moving than to wind up on the evening news. |
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| I say you did exactly the right thing. Unfortunately you just cannot be too careful or too trusting anymore. One of my brother's is an ex-cop. He also told me, and all the females in our family, if you are driving somewhere at night, and a cop tries to pull you over, keep driving. Call 911 and tell them approx. where you are and that a police car is following you. Tell them you are not stopping til you get to a populated area. I know that sounds crazy, and every instinct tells you to pull over as soon as you see lights, but better safe than sorry. And you've covered yourself by calling 911 and reporting it. Stay on the line if you have to and tell the 911 dispatcher the officers name and badge number. No wonder you were shaking. I'm glad you followed your gut feeling and left. |
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| DH had this situation years ago, before cell phones. He was in downtown Cleveland late at night leaving a bank, a girl came up to his car screaming and begging to get into his car. He let her in, she gave him an address and then passed out. He drove to the address and then had to explain to her father how a white man ended up with his abused knocked out daughter. It took some explaining but he is still here! Lol. |
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| >> "...an old guy (50-something) ..."- - - hahaha!!! Gee - I'm surprised that at that ripe old age he could still run! I really laughed at that. What would I have done? Well, given time to think about it here, which I wouldn't have had in the instant it was happening, perhaps I'd lock the doors and drive a safe distance away but call 911 and tell them that there was a person who might need help. |
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- Posted by marie-ndcal (My Page) on Wed, May 16, 12 at 23:43
| Yes, you did the right thing. I probably would have pushed the red button on OnStar while I was turning away, then trying to explain to the local cops who maybe you could trust or not (Sorry to all law enforcement) but that is what my relative warns us about in some of these small towns. He is a cop. |
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| add me to the list..never felt so uncomfortable as when dh and went to visit the pawabic tile center...we took a wrong turn... one of the most loved families here was car-jacked today! revrend wayans of the singing/church family and all he was doing was buying gas... |
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| Many of the old southern "mill towns" have fallen into disrepair. And all small southern towns have a "town crazy." You just found theirs. He picked on you because you were new, and didn't know him. Everyone else just ignores him. It's how small southern towns work. I know, I was raised in them. |
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| I'd say, you can give up your guilt. He could have been the town nut. Your instincts kicked in, and rightfully so. |
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| You did the right thing, just "get out" whenever that little voice tells you. He was probably harmelss, but... |
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| I think you did the right thing, you can't be to careful in a case like that. Rosemary, the house photo you pictured just about took my breath away. It looks very much like the house I grew up in and my mother lived in until her death in 2009. |
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| Most reasonable or non-malicious people know not to *run* up to a woman's car with *out of state license plates* in broad *daylight* & attempt to get the driver to roll down her window. There is NOTHING that he had to say, that you would want to hear or know. So, of course, you did the right thing. I would hope I would have enough wits about me to do exactly the same thing. I might be a bit shaken afterwards, or not. But I hardly think I would have even a second's thought of feeling guilty. Pretty picture of the current Sears home. What kind of siding was typical, or was it brick, on the original as in the sketch? |
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| I think if you had that "gut feeling" you should go with it. I had been in situations like that and the two times I did do something it went fine but I felt I should do something at that time. The other times I didn't do anything and that felt right to do at the time also. At stop lights I get panhandlers running up to my window open and it's usually to ask for money. If my window wasn't down, I wouldn't roll it down as that is what they are usually requesting. It really is an unfortunate world where there are so many who need help. I help when I can but I just can't all the time. There is still guilt. |
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| Thank you SO much for the many thoughtful responses. The sense of urgency with which he rapped on the window unnerved me. I agree - he could have just been the town crazy - but he really did startle me. Steppy, you are spot-on about the "mill town." I've been to several of these little towns in the south and the one where this happened was the worst (most depressed) that I've seen. BeeOhio, I think you're right about the license plates. And I was also driving my shiny new car and I waxed it before the trip, so it was *gleaming* in the sun! :) Seriously, I wonder if he figured I was an easy mark for a few bucks? Marilyn_C, that was my *first* thought - that this guy was on drugs. Sober people can be scary enough, but now that I've had time to think about it, I wonder if he was on meth. His skin was all messed up. Years ago, a friend of the family was hurt badly when two thugs approached her car in a bad section of town at a stoplight. One stood in front of the hood and blocked her way. The other one got into the car. They pulled her out of the car and assaulted her and stole the vehicle. My father told me then, "If anyone ever tries to block your car like that, do *NOT* open the door, and do NOT let them into your car. You floor it, and you keep it floored NO MATTER WHAT, and get out of there and do not look back." We had that talk in 1972, and I've always remembered it. Thanks again for the many comments. As to the house above, it's an Aladdin Kit Home (another kit home company that - like Sears sold kit houses). It's the Aladdin "Pasadena." :) This was the other fun find of the day:
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Here is a link that might be useful: More on Aladdin
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| I'm just wondering if the responses by everyone would be the same if it was a well-dressed female who came running up, maybe even in your own neighborhood. And it shows how important looks are these days. No matter what, the gut feeling should not be quickly dismissed. If you're uncomfortable in a situation, get out of there. Period. Even if the person was being chased by a gang and/or had been mugged already, it's your comfort that's most important. I think I would have asked him WHAT DO YOU WANT? at least a couple times to see if there was a reason. If there was such a situation (that he was in trouble) you could always go ahead, call the police and report it. I'm certain your car isn't totally soundproofed so you wouldn't need to open the window to ask or to listen unless you have a hearing issue unstated. I imagine there's even the remote possibility he was mute too but I'd still ask. I think I would be watching the news to see if there was anything (a body found or whatever) or follow up with the police since I'm a curious person and like to know what, if anything, happened, and I definitely would have called the police about the incident, probably while driving away, for personal safety if nothing else. Probably had them on the phone while I was asking what they wanted. If you're scared it doesn't matter if it's warranted or not, you should still get out of there. And maybe reconsider putting yourself in that situation again. There's depressed areas like that all over but that is irrelevant anyway. This incident could just as easily have happened in Beverly Hills so tying it to the depressed area isn't pragmatic. This type of thing CAN and DOES happen anywhere. Sometimes it's innocent, sometimes not. There's people I don't think should be driving alone in certain areas. I'm real uncomfortable with my sister driving alone a lot of the time but you can't even suggest that these days or you're branded "sexist". With the background I have in law enforcement and crime prevention, I tend to ask "what if" often. What if you had a car breakdown at that moment? Couple flat tires, even one? Some people are known to block roads, flatten tires and the like. People are lulled into a false sense of security these days thinking their cars cannot fail them. There's also the well-known planned "accident" (in any area, not just depressed) that happens in all areas. I know people are going to talk about their God-given right to go where they want and when they want, but, what if??? I remember my aunt relating a situation in Houston where people would lie down in the street to get people to stop. The police told my aunt if she's confronted with this situation and couldn't get around the person, don't stop. Drive over the person if you need to in order to get away. I found that interesting. Glad you're safe. |
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| You definitely did the right thing. We, as women, were raised to be polite. Not to hurt anyone's feelings, hence the "did I do the right thing?" reaction. |
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