Get more than one appraisal.

I agree. You should not be rushed into anything. If you choose to give the brother a deal, to keep things in the family, that's one thing, but how your DS is handling things is just not right.

You might be able to rent the house for a lower than market value in exchange for the tenant being a caretaker.

You live far away. There is an option to get it all done. I am not sure, why the buyer is so important... but don't see anything wrong with asking who the buyer would be.

But I am of the opinion, let her handle it. It does need to be done. She is near, and can do.

Beats you driving or flying there, to handle all.

The practical side of me says, let her do it.

Moni

If the buyer readily agreed to the price, it's very likely too low. Around here, the appraisers can't keep up with the rise in prices--they're phenomenal. Be sure to look into comps and don't rush into anything. I wonder if the buyer is a friend of hers?

This may be time to consult with an elder-law attorney. If your dad's dementia is progressive, which is usually the case, he may have to be moved to a nursing home at some point. That presents a whole new financial ball game.

Is the house still in his name? All of your names? I don't know what the present laws say, but at one point any monies that passed from the patient to his family within five years was fair game to be taken by the state (or the federal gov't, I forget which), but the person's home was exempt.

It might be possible that if the value of the home was converted to cash at this point, you could end up losing it all. I really don't know if this is true, but the right lawyer would.

Agreed if you want something else done then you need to go there and stay there and do the work that must be done. Your sister is the one that is having to deal with it and if she thinks this is a good deal for Both of you and it can be a quick sale for an appraised value at this time I would be inclined to do it especially if it is a known good buyer.
Believe me as one who has been through similar and had other family that went through similar I can see why you should be be jumping on the offer. I would think that it would be a plus for the land to remain in the family.

It is very easy to suggest waiting from afar while you don't have to be dealing with the day to day operations and upkeep. You are fortunate to have someone locally in the family handling it.

You can certainly make the sale of any antiques separate but then again you must be willing to go there and handle the work associated with the appraisal and sale. My best friend is going through this exact thing from her mother's estate and right now she is so frustrated and disappointed in the values of the stuff and the fact it has been almost a year and she hasn't been able to sell anything because no one is buying in this economy. I have been helping her out as much as possible from a different state and really feel for her. Plus she is having to pay for storage for all of it because she has her own home as full as possible, the remainder had to go into rental storage which she is paying monthly!

Having a good qualified buyer for the property that is willing to pay appraised value with out having an inspection is a very big deal.

You are only an hour away. I would get over there and see what's going on. Have a second appraisal by an appraiser of your choosing, and have the antiques appraised. The whole thing sounds really suspicious to me. At least you know she can't sell without your approval.

Alisande makes a very valid and important point. I was assuming that had already been investigated.
With out doubt make sure that the sale of his property wouldn't end up going to someone else!

The buyer made an offer on the house and it appears that it was accepted. That is done.

If the buyer really wants the contents, then sell the items by the piece (each item with a fixed price) rather than a bulk sale. If the buyer balks at that, then remove the items and find a good auction house or consignment shop to deal with those items. The best auction company is not necessarily the nearest one.

If you incur expenses doing this (your gas and stuff) then bill the estate to recover your money.

The El Camino, look up online what most people are trying to sell theirs for. Take that price and add 10% to see if the buyer is really serious about purchasing it. If the buyer doesn't like the price and you don't want the El Camino, sell it yourself.

I don't know how big the farm is, but don't sell it to the new owner. You should be able to get a local farmer to deal with the crops and such either with a cash rent or you share the costs and the profits. If it is too small for a decent farming operation, then go to your bank, get an appraisal and see what the folks at the bank say about it. They might be interested in doing something there. Consider buying out your sister's share of the farm and keep it all for yourself. Although the price of crop land has fallen a bit in the past year, there will never be any more land and your investment will be well-rewarded should you decide to sell sometime in the future.

'I have a bad feeling that my sister is trying to take advantage of me.'

so do I.

Note that I am not an attorney & that the following is not legal advice, just an opinion based on 30 years of selling real estate:

If your agreement is a requirement for a sale, & you haven't signed a contract, then this 'buyer' doesn't have a binding contract .

If your sister is telling you that she's executed a contract, then she's either badly ignorant or she's trying to make you think something that isn't true.

Your dad & you both need to have the benefit of good legal advice & a good appraisal or real estate broker's market value opinion.

I wish you the best.

The house is still in my dad's name. He thankfully has long-term care insurance which is paying for most of the cost of his care. He does have military retirement as well as SS, which covers the rest as well as the small amount of upkeep on the house. We have calculated everything and should be fine with regards to that.

The buyer has not made an official offer on the house. According to DS, he wanted to know what we were asking so he would know if it was close to what he was willing to pay. He has not yet secured financing. As I explained to DS, even if we are willing to sell, his bank will demand an appraisal from one of their appraisers, as well as an inspection. She did not know that.

She cannot enter into any type of contract without my agreement and vice versa. We have joint POA, so one of us can't enter into legal agreements without the other.

DS is doing very little with regards to the day-to-day operations and upkeep. This was the part she actually wanted to deal with when we moved him into assisted living. The assisted living facility is near me and she did not want him placed near her. That is because she will not go to visit him and she didn't want him local because she would be ashamed that people didn't see her name on the visitors log. I deal with all the phone calls when he falls, hits a resident or staff, needs a med change, etc. I'm also the one that visits him. She actually has the easy end of the deal, but that's fine.

I am not unwilling to sell. I simply do not want to rush into something and find out later that we made a huge mistake. I also have no problem selling to my uncle if he's willing to pay appraised value. I am actually not concerned about the value of the El Camino, as it is not in mint condition and not worth much. I just found it odd that this person is wanting to buy things like that and the furniture. I'm much more reluctant to sell the farm than the house. The farm is currently cash rented and I see absolutely no reason to sell it at this time unless we got a really good offer.

However, I feel like DS isn't being totally honest with me. The name of the buyer isn't especially important, but the fact that she actively avoids saying it and instead refers to him as "this man" makes me suspicious. Most of us, in a conversation like this, would refer to the buyer by name, not actively avoid revealing. If she's hiding this, I have to wonder what else she's hiding. She told me that the appraiser said that the value of the farm would be going down over the next few years.

If my uncle is the potential buyer, I'm sure he'll understand that we need a bit of time to do our due diligence. I would hope that anyone would understand that.

I want to be sure that I'm fulfilling my legal fiduciary responsibility as POA. I will be contacting my attorney (who is also my dad's and who drew up the POA) on Tues. I do not want to misuse my authority as POA by rushing into a sale. If there was an immediate need for cash to pay for his care, it would be different. Our attorney also does a lot of real estate transactions, so I'm sure he can recommend a good appraiser so we can get a second opinion.

You're wise to consult your attorney now and I hope everything resolves to your satisfaction.

It does seem strange that your sister doesn't refer to the possible buyer by name. I almost wonder if he's offered her money on the side for a low price and expeditious settlement. It's also odd that she gave him the appraised value right off the bat and didn't start with a higher price.

And if the buyer is your uncle it's even odder that she doesn't reveal his identity.

You said you're over an hour away - that's certainly not far. Would it be beneficial to visit your sister and have a discussion about this - maybe after you've spoken with your attorney.

Could you provide a bit more detail on the farm? Type of farm, size, location, etc. Who is farming the land now? In many places farmland has been in a boom over the last few years and farmland prices are predicted to correct over the next few years. So the appraiser may be telling the truth, but a second opinion is still a good idea.

Also you need to consider the tax consequences of a sale. If your Dad has owned the farm for a long time, his basis might be pretty low and there could be significant tax consequences to a sale now rather than later.

Start with your lawyer, but you may also may need to talk to an accountant (does your Dad have an accountant familiar with the farm) and a realtor specializing in farmland. Depending on the type of farm, you also might want to talk to a reputable farm management company.

Your sister has not only put the cart before the horse, but is rolling it downhill.

What's her interest in selling quickly? Does she have debts? Will she benefit her by selling to Mr. X? (Kickback?) Is Mr. X a qualified buyer? How does he intend to pay?

This is *business*, not *family*, and should be handled as you would any RE investment.

Get your attorney's opinion about who will get the proceeds of the sale of the house and/or farm.

Get an appraisal on the contents of the house. Get your own appraisal on the house and the land. Do your own 'appraising' by looking up similar house and land sales and by talking with a local bank. Talk to a realtor. Would your renter be interested in buying the land?

Would your land be valuable as something other than farmland? What's *under* the farm? What might be built on it? Is there some government or private industry project afoot?

Don't assume that a house is a house, or land is land, or a car is a car. Look closely. (Some college students recently found thousands of dollars in the cushions of an old sofa they bought at Goodwill.) Does your father have lucid periods where you could ask him about the house, contents and land? If your uncle is Mr. X, what are all the *economic* reasons he would want the farm?

Put the RE *on the market* only AFTER you know its' probable value. If Mr. X is ready to leap now, he'll be ready to leap later.

I am curious about all the guessing,
"She's gone out of her way to not mention him by name"

Have you come out and asked her point blank who is the person that is interested what is the persons name so you can do some research on the person for example. Ask point blank is it our uncle? I don't understand that part? You have every right to ask for all the information and disclosures.

Also in the original post I read that the person offered to purchase any thing left over that you DID NOT WANT.
"She also told me that he wanted to buy any furniture that we don't want"

That sounds different than he wants all the furniture and everything. To me it sounds like he wants the family to take what ever they want and value but he would be willing to have anything you want to leave for sale???

I agree wholeheartedly now with a little more info provide this all needs to be handled by an estate attorney that has your fathers best interest at heart and his future health and housing needs. Including if there are any mineral or water rights with all the property and farm. It can be a very slippery slope dealing with an elderly person and the care they could end up needing.

Okay...you said you have POA of your fathers' finances. Are you the only person who has POA ?
Your father is in assisted living, and will never go back to the home. If you (acting for your father) sell the house, or any other property that is currently in his name...that money is his, and should be deposited in a secure investment or (bank account, CDs, etc) in his name and used only for his investments.
If your sister does not also have POA, she can't sell the property, real estate or personal propery

We have a neighbor that very sneaky and quietly bought his parents home~~he told my DH what he was doing and told him not to tell our kids who are on FB with his kids~~he did not want his bro and sis to know what he was doing til it was a done deal~~Is you sister maybe buying it herself?

If it were me I would go to my uncle and say hey 'sis is suggesting this, what do you think?' Since his land touches your dad's land he would know if it is a good deal. That way he might say outright~~yes I know, I want to buy it.

I would not sit around and wait for her to make any deals. I would start researching everything. I agree with Chisue, you need to be an informed seller.

Do you know the tax implications of selling the house and the farm?
Depending on the value of the farm, this could be a huge tax liability if the basis in the land is low. If you keep the farm until his passing, the heirs will get a stepped up basis and the tax liability will be lower.

I would ask your sister for full disclosure on who is buying, the price, all the details. This transaction has the potential to lay the groundwork for future communication and I'd make it clear that open communication will make things much easier both now and in the years to come. It's developing trust.

You might also check to make sure that the appraisal was done by a licensed appraiser. A 2nd appraisal might be good, but they aren't cheap. If it sold for much less than the going rate and your father becomes dependent on medicaid, there could be a look back period or penalty to recoup additional funds.

Then I would consult with your father's accountant or tax man, his attorney (or whomever planned his will or estate), etc.

There are too many unknowns to rush into something at this time.

And yes, since there's a lot of competition for farm land and it's value has increased greatly in some areas, some people will do all kinds of things to get a deal.

I of course don't know the whole story but maybe your uncle does want to buy the home/farm but your sister (or your uncle) don't want you to feel pressured just because your uncle is the buyer. Im giving her the benefit of the doubt.
Satine

Do not give that El Camino away!!! Its a collector's item. Not many were sold when new (compared to other models) and today, it is a desireable item. It can be fitted with a big torquey engine. It commands prime price if it has the original paint that is in reasonable good shape. Next notch down in price is dent free and needs paint. It is easily painted if dent and rust free and the paint will better than new - It can be show quality.

One place to get an idea of price is to look in a copy of Hemming's magazine/catalog. Its also a good place to advertise.

I would get a lawyer that specializes in estate law. I would get another appraisal done. And I would sell the farm part separate. I would keep asking your sister over and over until she breaks and tells you who the buyer is. I would get an appraiser in there to tell you the value of the antiques. In other words jump in and get involved.

I am so glad that I didn't have to go through all that when my mom died. DB and I split everything 50/50 and agreed on everything. We still have 9 acres of timber that I wish we could sell the timber.

what orchidlaura said.

I my own self tend to go along with people & coax & try to hint, & then I get exasperated & say, "Who the he@@ is this 'buyer' you're so coy about & what the he@@ is he to you?"

so don't do that.

Get in front of her, face to face, & ask her what the buyer's name is & why she hasn't told you.

Why would it be advantageous to her to sell the house?
It's your father's house, and HE will need the proceeds for his expenses in assisted living.
the expenses in assisted living often escalate over the months and years, as his ability to care for himself grow.

Of course, I presume his home is in his name, and only someone who has Power of Attorney can act for him in a legal transaction, such as a sale...and the proceeds MUST go into an account in his name.
I've been through this.

Unless he has considerable assets, his tax liability would probably be less.

Is your sister thinking that she would benefit financially form a sale?

Not until he is gone.

See an attorney that specializes in eldercare, ASAP.

I agree with Alisande and Monica. Talk to an elder attorney!

I've looked to the veteran's administration for help with assisted living cost for an uncle. To be accepted you can't have more than around $80,000 in assets not including a house and car. If his house and car become cash then he will no longer qualify for that program (if he even did before). My MIL has the nursing home insurance... but it only covers so many months.

See an attorney.

Here is a link that might be useful: Veteran's Aid

Also make sure to get a good deal on the El Camino!! They are worth more now than when it was on the showroom floor.They are top of the list now.. All car collectors are fighting for El Caminos right now. It is the "IT" car now.

I don't think I could sell any of my parents "things" if they were still living.

Upon reading your post, it immediately seemed strange to me that "this guy" would be interested in buying EVERYTHING. And, no negotiations is quite interesting as well. Everyone negotiates, especially in real estate. These are red flags in my mind.

Being part POA, you have every right to know all information about this potential buyer, including talking to him on the phone and/or in person. If it is your uncle, why would they want to hide this from you, unless your sis is making a side deal? More red flags.

Talk to an attorney, spend the money for a second appraisal for piece of mind. Though your sis is near the property, DO NOT take the easy way out of letting her handle it all alone, unless you don't care about the outcome, though, it seems you do; you posted. Perhaps your sis to trying to pull a fast one as you may already suspect. It is said that we all should listen to our intuition and yours is telling you something! Don't be passive b/c you are an hour away. Get involved, be involved, stay involved until the transaction is done, whether now or later.

An hour isn't that long of a drive to go and check things out for yourself. Make sure you are 100% satisfied with any offers before agreeing and signing on the dotted line. Ensure that you can live with any decision that is made so you have no regrets.

I agree with debi....an hour's drive is nothing....go there and see for yourself what is actually going on. If it is ligit, then maybe selling would be your best option. But, that is still HIS money, so should be used for his keep while he is still living and burial when that time comes. You have the POA to make the decisions. Contact an attorney and make sure everything is done legally.

Good points here about the stepped up tax basis on the RE that only happens after the legal owner (your dad) dies.

I wonder if your DS would somehow profit from a sale now? She'd only profit from any inheritance after your father's death.

Go inspect the property in person. Perhaps arrange to meet a couple of realtors and antiques appraisers while you are there. Are you in touch with anyone local?

We can't know if your DS is getting 'creative' here or is just in over her head about the legalities. I would stress to her the need to protect the best interests of all three of you.

I talked to DS today. While evasive, she gave me the name of the potential buyer. It is not my uncle. She also told me the offer he'd made on the farm itself (excluding the house). IMO, this is too low. She did not have the farm land appraised, only the house.

I told her that I wasn't really against selling the house, but am much more reluctant to sell the farm. I told her that we need time to do our due diligence. She says that this buyer is looking for a quick sale. She said something about a crop rotation that he needs to do soon. The problem is that we already have a contract with someone who is renting the farm land this year. They already have crops planted. Their contract will stand even if

I told her that I wanted to at least take photos of some of the nicer antiques and contact antiques dealers in Charleston SC and Wilmington NC to see if they are interested at all. She proclaimed that "too much work". Said she'd checked Ebay and didn't think most of them are worth a lot. I told her that Ebay may not be the most reliable source and I'm not comfortable just selling the nicer pieces without at least getting some more info.

She also reluctantly gave me the name of the appraiser. I actually know him; I grew up with his sister and trust his opinion. I will call him tomorrow.

I mentioned that we could consider renting the house while we get some more info. She flat-out said they she was not willing to consider renting, that it's too much trouble. I told her that I didn't like being rushed into something this big.

I will be going down there after I get back from vacation to check things out myself.

"This buyer is looking for a quick sale."

I bet he is!

but...

Something fishy is going on.

don't know what, but defiinitely *something*.

Any time someone wants you to move faster than you can think or faster than you can gather your data, it is *always* very very bad, & any time someone thwarts or blocks your every move & rejects your every request or suggestion, it's always very very bad.

Going by the fact that she wants her dad far away from her so that she doesn't get negative reactions for not visiting him, maybe she just wants everything to go away with the least possible effort, or maybe she thinks she'll get some money out of it & maybe she needs money.

Who knows?
It doesn't matter.

Your role is to take care of your dad's interests.

Just be careful.

Please be very careful about this. It you sell any of the property before your dad's death, he will probably have to pay a much larger portion of the proceeds in taxes, than if you take advantage of the inheritance laws that allow you a tax break on a large amount the money.

Someone want's a deal here. Look out for your dad, and yourself.

How would your sister benefit by selling now? Does she understand she gets nothing until your father passes?

Do you know her situation? Does she have debts? Family troubles? A DH or kids with debts? A gambling problem? Drugs? A boyfriend? Is she clinically depressed? Does she have bad memories about the house?

As set as she may be on selling house/farm quickly, you will have to be set on steering a prudent course.

I hope the house doesn't mysteriously burn down or be 'burglarized' before you get out there. Are the antiques *still there*? House and contents insured?

This is all a lot for you to have to deal with when you have so many other things. I hope your sister hears you and all will be well.

II kind of agree with Mona, I have been envolved in situations like this: what you need to ask your self, could you be happy with the offer, is it really worth it to perhaps cause a rif between you and your sister. If she is willing to handle the details could you be satisfied, these are the questions you need to ask yourself.

Who owns this house and farm property? Are they yours to sell?

This situation has a rather peculiar odour to it, it seems to me.

If the house is unoccupied it's almost certain that the insurance company will require that it be visited/inspected by someone every few days/frequently, in order for the insurance to continue to be in force. You need to find out what rules apply.

ole joyful