Oh, Ann ... I feel for you! What a nice gesture for you to invite this woman along, and then she has to go and pretty much spoil it for you. I'm so sorry! And unfortunately, yep - I know all about bores (or are they boors?), as I was married to one for 15+ years. My ex talked constantly -- he just didn't seem to possess an internal "off button" that would make him realize that enough was enough. I can't tell you how many social situations we were in, where he embarrassed me half to death. Countless times I'd kick him under a restaurant table when we were dining out with others, and I saw that oh-so-familiar glazed look come into their eyes as he continued droning on and on and on about things that were going on in his life. He had his own business, and he talked in depth about his work. Really technical stuff that nobody cared about. Once when he and I took a vacation with the rest of my family, we were all relaxing in the hot springs in this beautiful mountain resort area, gazing out at the stars and soaking up the ambience, and he would not "STFU." That's when someone (I forget who, exactly) in my family said, "Hey - shut yer stinkin' trap!" -- in a joking (but firm) manner. Well, that saying just kinda stuck, and I often used it with him after that, to let him know when he'd said more than enough. I guess some people are just wired that way. I really do try to be conscious about being that kind of annoying individual, to the point where at times I think I'm a little obsessive over worrying that I come across that way. Especially in the forums, I notice how many "I" statements I make, and dang ... it's a lot. Of course, when you're face-to-face with someone, that's different and demands a much greater "give and take." That's where I really make an effort not to become "that" person, because I don't know many people who can stand to be around "that" person for any length of time. Poor Ann. You undoubtedly feel like you need another vacation already. :-/

I don't want to settle anything between you and your husband. LOL. Do I want in the middle of this? NOOOOO. It's not about some sinister underlying reason, it's just about establishing good communication. Very important when selling a home. I own a business, and there are people who bypass me and contact my husband instead on business matters and it causes problems. I don't expect him to know pricing and inventory or my schedule. He also sometimes forgets to relay information to me, and it is often important, but he has no way to know that since he doesn't read my mind. I know what you are talking about. I face the "but your husband said" responses often enough to have just gotten to the point to tell them that they need to deal with me directly. Seems to me she should be working one or the other, consistently as a contact person, just to keep confusion to a minimum. If you aren't being kept up to date then there is confusion. If there were a showing and I found out about it like you did, I would peeved. I found out the night before a big dinner at church my husband had volunteered me to cook for seventy five people. And it was the church secretary who told me, because he had forgotten. LOL. Been there and done that. I don't think I would have made any big deal over it, however. I simply would have picked up the phone, talked to the agent and told him/her to quit bothering my husband at work, tell them it is causing problems because the information doesn't always reach you in a timely manner. capisci? But, you can't really take that approach if your husband doesn't seem to think there is a problem. Maybe you could just ask her why she is suddenly not keeping you in the loop? Has she at any occasion tried to contact you and gotten answering machines? Is it easier to find him available? I find the easiest way to get an answer is right from the horse's mouth.

My problem is not about marriage! Mine is about my eldest, who loves to degrade me, talk about me to her friends, get them to believe she knows me SO WELL, that whatever she says about me is absolutely the truth! She will tell me, she is JUST TRYING TO HELP ME,that I have problems, that no one knows about but her, then she blasted me on an internet page, (not in private) but so E1 could read it, about something I did 2 mos ago and saying the current incident is THE SAME thing but that she stood up for me anyway, when another family member I now live with said I lied,(which I didn't). Anyway,twice, she had asked me to live with her, to help me financially, after becoming disabled and was struggling but both times, it was a disaster, and of course,(I got the blame) even though I stay to myself, respect others in the home,tried not to get work dumped on me. But both times I got accused of not doing ANY of that! And of course,also, SHE IS ALWAYS RIGHT! If I would have my own opinion on ANYTHING...she would correct me, telling me and others how WRONG I am! We have mutual friends and I think she is also jealous of that! One of my other daughters has told her to stay away from her and her family, that she was no longer welcome in their home because she related her husband to someone else, that he is totally not like at all. A mutual friend on an internet site, doesn't talk to her anymore, and I recently asked her why that was, and she said she HONESTLY didn't know, she just quit talking to her? I just read the post on: "TOXIC Relationships"! And believe me, most of it has been going on for about 3 plus yrs. between us. I have stopped talking to her in the past, due to this behavior toward me but if she approached me and apologized,(which isn't often but she will do it, if there's a benefit in it somewhere)...or so it seems?...I have given her the benefit of the doubt and we have started hanging out again! It's funny how the very things she accuses me of, she does herself but somehow, the WAY she does it, is still better than me! I just moved out the last time at the end of Feb 11 and moved in with another fam. member because I had no where to go. She didn't ask me to move out but it wasn't pleasant, so decided it was best for me! (all involved)!I think she's jealous as I said about a mutual friend because I had asked her to go places with me without my daughter and so? Her and I get along! my daughter has told me to SHUT UP in public and embarrased me, and our friend said "respect her, that's your Mom". And she'd say, "I'm just playing"! For some reason she had gotten into this bad habit of saying this and even has said it to her husband making him mad too! However, she has gotten over that mostly! Her and her husband had their own problems and needed help, that's ok but now that they are, she advises others, as though she's all fixed and can/should tell others their problems and "learn from this" is what she likes to say now! I have made my mistakes ,I'm human but when I did said I wouldn't do it again and didn't but this last thing she decided to advise me on was similiar but not exactly the same thing happened but she isn't SAYING it but doesn't believe me about it! And when I told her she was wrong about it and me, she just kept going on and on about it and I asked her to quit, that I can kick my own butt all by myself. That I already felt bad about the situation and her rubbing it in wasn't helping!BUT she just kept on, so I said what I had to say and decided it was best to not talk to her and had to delete her off my internet page so I don't get her messages! It's too tempting for me to reply and I just don't need her "helpful" advise or hurtful words! I have felt like crap over all this happening! This is my eldest daughter! I've asked her to respect me, even if she didn't like things I DO! I don't go out of my way to say hurtful things to her! But even in common talk, she will begin YELLING..just to say something like she's anticipating a neg. reply before I speak, so I am already on the defense myself and YELL back! It is utterly ridiculous! ANd I have never liked it! But I can't get her to see her part in it! Even her best friend said,I dont argue with her, cause she has always GOT TO BE RIGHT! And her room mate that lives with them asked me a couple of times,"Why do you argue with her, just ignore her, smile and say BLESS YOUR HEART"!(but she either tells her off or kisses her rear end) and my daug. makes extra money off her for staying there? Well back then, I didn't realize the arguing is what she wanted to prove her point as to why she is always right! But if you tell her that, she will say "No she doesn't need to be"! SO, once again, I am having to just stay away from her,& not talk to her! It feels awful! But if I say look Im done, I can't take this anymore, you won't quit, she will say, "why do you treat me so mean"? "I do everything for everyone and this is how I get treated by everybody"! Gee, I don't know..hmmm!So here I am, on the net, looking up this problem to see, if I am wrong! But from what I've read, it is on her! Her own LOW SELF-ESTEEM, and she needs to do this! OMG, this is heart-breaking to me! She had me convinced for so long, that I was just a terrible Mother and making all these mistakes. Not when she was young, she had the utmost RESPECT for me! But as an adult, she has turned against me! And I honetly don't know why! She once said, she just didnt trust ANYONE anymore after her 2nd husband molested her kids!(13 yrs.ago and lots of counciling). That is where she lost trust! I can understand that but why me? I didn't do those things! Sorry this is so long but it DOES help to get it out! Without burdening my friends and family of hearing it ALL AGAIN! AND she doesn't WANT anyone TO THINK ANY OF IT IS HER FAULT! Never, ever,NEVER!!!! SO, I guess I do just have to stay completely away!?? That is so sad!She can seem so very caring and giving but I tell you, it will benefit her in the end! I did the best I could with what I knew raising my children, I have 4. 3 girls and one son! And the others don't treat me like this! And I'm not sure she treats them anywhere near how she does me! I don't hear all their conversations! Other than the other oldest(my 2nd) telling her to stay away since Thanksgivng I think? Or just around Christmas! By the way, she is 42, not a child! Anyway, thank you for letting me vent! Don't know if anyone has any comments or has had this kind of problem but it would be nice to hear whatever will help!? Thanks... CS

Referring back to liberties taken with Shakespeare works, I must share my Saturday night experience. DH and I have season tickets to a wonderful local playhouse. They do one Shakespeare play a season, and I look forward to it every year. This year the selection was "Hamlet." I opened the program to read that they had opted to make changes to the play in the hopes of drawing a more youthful crowd. They shortened it considerably, the play was done in only 90 minutes. This didn't bother me nearly so much as other choices which annoyed me to no end. I will mention just a few. Hamlet and Horatio conversed using cell phones. Hamlet and Ophelia danced. How did they listen to the music you might ask. Well, they each took an ear bud from the headphones of Ophelia's iPod of course. The play within the play was a movie shown on a big screen and Claudius' reaction was video taped. Laertes also brought a gun to revenge his father's death. All these modern touches seemed so out of place against the traditional language. Are these modern inclusions necessary if we want our youth to appreciate these plays? I managed to foster a fondness for the works of Shakespeare by reading them and seeing them performed traditionally. Certainly, it's hard work to parse the text, interpret the meaning, appreciate the subtlety and humor in what can be unfamiliar language, but does dropping an iPod into the equation mean teenagers will suddenly feel the relevance and begin to flock to Shakespeare? What function do these anachronisms really serve? Maybe I am being grumpy at not seeing the play I was expecting. Maybe someone here can offer an insight on the production manager's motives I might have missed while in my snit. Or would you also have been annoyed?