(((Rose)))

you were very nice to take food to your mom. Now, you have to try and concentrate on the nice part... even if you can't quite see a nice part right now.

Moni... who has a similar mom

I just now read this on the DS site. So sorry Rose, people and relatives can be very insensitive. Until someone has walked in our shoes they do not understand.
Hugs,
JoAnn

Could it be that -- in her rather warped way -- she's looking out for your future?

I know, weak excuse, but that's how some older women think.

Sorry you and your mother are on different wavelengths, but...aren't you GLAD you are not like her?

Human nature. Did you enjoy lunch?

How old is your mom? Old people sometimes say stupid things (not me, of course). Just ignore herâ¦.in fact, just ignore her even if she isn't old. At least your conscience is clear. You did the right thing about going. ((((Rose))))

Isn't it great we have someplace to vent!

I'm so sorry, Rose. My mother was capable of being like that, too. We siblings would jokingly say to each other, "Gird your loins " when getting ready for a family gathering, lol.

You sure didn't need that, especially when you are still so emotionally fragile. ((((Hugs)))

You know your mother - either this is how she's always been and you learned to ignore any such comments long ago, or it's dementia-induced. The fact that she asked why you were visiting strongly suggests she's not fully aware.

Either way, I'm sorry it ruined a day full of good intentions for her benefit.

As I've said before, I try to avoid people who give off negative feelings and energy, no matter why they do so. They can suck a smile right off your face.

Hi Rose,

Here you were being a rose ...

.. and you found a thorn to keep you company:

Oh, sorry - you were the company in her house (who took lunch).

Sorry to hear that your Mom was so insensitive.

(((((Rose)))))

ole joyful

My mother would say inappropriate things in her last years....some were hurtful and some embarrassing. At a big family celebration she blurted out something that was very embarrassing for me and I was mortified in front of everyone...I tried to turn it into a joke but I don't think it worked. I blamed it on age, but it was very hard at times.

Yes, I agree that it could be the start of a dementia, or just losing the ability to filter out what is appropriate.
Mothers are supposed to be supportive and caring, you have gotten neither.
So sorry.
Sending caring thoughts to make up for the ones you did not get:)

Thank you everyone for your kind and caring responses. I an feeling much better after having read them, and after having had supper with my own wonderful daughter.

HMM she sounds like my mom, whom I think always talked to me this way, I just never noticed. Maybe your mom has just lost her social graces.

You were good to take lunch and make a nice day for her.

Hugs, Peace and Love to you!

Rose, you're not her. And you won't be her. I'm so sorry you had to hear that today, and I get it, my own mother can be as subtle as a Mack truck.

Come and vent, lots of us understand ;)

Rose, I am so sorry that your thoughtful gesture was shadowed with your mom's distastefulness. I could see my own mother being like that, but I chose to no longer acknowledge her for my own reasons. I think you are wonderful for having been thoughtful, composed, and staying on the higher ground.

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that the happy memories of your husband help to lighten the sadness and missing in your heart. I can only imagine how you must feel, and my heart aches for you.