So sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry.

Forty-nine is just so young.

I'm glad you got to see her, glad she got to see you.

I'm saddened by another lost life to this horrid disease - sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. I'm glad that you got to say goodbye. It probably meant a lot to her too.
Mary

I, too, am sorry for the loss of your friend.

I had a similar experience last year. One of my best friends, who lived in California, had been battling cancer this time for 3 years. She had done amazingly well on treatments for a long time. But then last year some other friends were visiting her and noted that she seemed to be struggling.

So I hopped on a plane and went to see her. I'm so glad I did because she passed away just a couple of weeks later. You just never know how much time you have.

I'm so glad you got to say good bye to your friend. It really means a lot.

Very sorry for your loss. Really glad you made that visit. It's bad enough to have to deal with a loss, nevermind having guilt along with it if you wouldn't have gone. I'm sure she appreciated the visit also.

God bless her soul.

Years ago my very good/close friend died form breast cancer. She kept her cancer a secret from family and me....I was so shocked when her DH called to tell me she had died.
It took me years to get over the shock and hurt that I was not included in her time of need. I to this day do not understand what happened that she gave into it, she was a very good and smart RN

The one thing that you can always tell the person you are visiting is how much they mean to you...Back in the days when we thought I was going to die, the number of friends and family that visited and told me how much they cared about me was shocking..even our children...I always knew the our children loved me but my husbands children who had only been in my life for some 20 something years, made an extra effort to show their love for me and to even tell me how much I meant to them and how much having me in there lives had mean't to them...When you don't know if you have another month it's important to know that you have made an impact so I say don't be hesitant to visit or to share how you feel...I actually had to start taking anti depressants because my emotions were so raw...

They went from saying a quick ..."Love Ya" to "Ruthie I Love you so much"...Yes they call me Ruthie...They were way to old to start calling me Mom and their real Mom would have had a coming unglued if she had ever heard them call me that so we just stuck with Ruthie which they started calling me when they met me..Even some of the Grands call me Ruthie for the same reason...that GrandMother would just cause them too much grief and I don't want that for them and Ruthie is fine for me....

This post was edited by ruthieg__tx on Thu, Mar 6, 14 at 13:41

You are so right don't put it off. I am so sorry for the loss of your friend.

Ruthie's story reminds me of my friend Katherine.

Katherine had been hiding her symptoms, even from herself, until she collapsed & was rushed to the hospital.

She had advanced uterine cancer.

All her friends rallied round, & we worked out a schedule of who was to take her meals & tidy her house & who was to drive her to chemo, etc.

When I visited her in the hospital, she said, "Sylvia, I never knew how many people cared about me."

Before she got even one chemo treatment, she died.

That was many years ago, & I still am humbled & grateful to have known her & to have gotten to hear what she said;
it's made a difference in the way I speak to my loved ones.

After reading your post I called my friend Cindy today, and will go to see her next week. She had been doing well, but now she's not. I appreciate your reminder.

Two of the ladies in my exercise class have both diagnosed with cancer in the last couple of months. A small group of us made up a schedule to take the one lady to her doctor appointments and to her treatments. Now we take turns checking on her and running errands. She has no family in the area.

The other lady is more private. She has a son living with her and a group from her church is handling her needs. We would/ will help out if needed.

One feels fine - the other isn't doing so well. Yes, it is so important to tell the people you care about that you do. I told the one lady that "I will keep calling her until she tells me to bug off, then I will say, "No!" She has a witty sense of humor so we both laughed. Even when someone says they don't need anything, they may need someone.

Always sad to lose someone from sickness, but apply that principle to all your friends. How many disease free people leave home in the morning, never to return.