Can't wait to hear the answers you get. I circumvented the problem by inviting friends and family to a party.

The party is my celebration of turning 60, but only some friends know this. They are serious "no gifts friends". Love those kind of friends. Makes life so much less complicated. :)

On another note, I got invited to a housewarming party that stated:
I've recently bought a house and will host a housewarming party THIS Sunday from 2-4pm.

If you can come, the address is **********

Gifts are not required; however, I am registered at Target. Gift cards from Lowe's are welcome too.

I am not going to this one, not because of the text of the email invite, but because of the weather. I rather go on a bike ride with friends... cause it is finally nice enough to do so again tomorrow (fingers crossed).

Moni

This post was edited by OklaMoni on Sat, Mar 8, 14 at 14:34

Perhaps you could suggest that if attendees insist on a gift of some sort, they could honor you by a gift to your favorite charity. It's a great opportunity to support a cause which means something to you.

My friend had a party and the "gifts" (if any) were to be bottles of children's vitamins which were taken to a third world country in Africa. (Someone was heading that way and took a suitcase of vitamins!)

I don't think a save the date card is the right place for that, the save the date is meant just to be a heads up that an event will be taking place so it can be penciled in to calendars, worked in to travel plans. I've never had one include any other information than the day, city where the event will be held, no details.

When it comes to putting it on formal invitations, I've rec'd plenty of invitations for second (even third) marriages, anniversaries, milestone birthdays with a no gifts note included - if that's in bad taste, you'd still be in good company ;) I have seen it on a separate card enclosed in the invitation just as you will sometimes find with the brides registry information for a wedding, don't know if that makes it more acceptable or not.

I don't think it is necessary on the save the day card and one the invite, I'd do it on a separate card on in a separate area and just say...as you all know, we have been together for some time now and we respectfully request that your respect our wishes that this be a no gift event.

or as long time friends, we ask you to please respect our wishes that this be a no gift affair.

when one just puts No gifts on an invitation it is such a wishy washy statement that it really leaves people not knowing what to do.. friends are thinking ...well maybe they are just being nice...

This post was edited by ruthieg__tx on Sat, Mar 8, 14 at 15:48

I don't know the etiquette of where to place the sentence, but I thought of an alternate wording to your original suggestion.

"The joy of your company as we celebrate our anniversary is the only gift we wish to receive."

Moni....if that's a real address on your comment, you should go back and edit it out!

rhizo, for heavens sake, thanks.... and I thought, I had it gone.

I recently received a wedding invitation from a couple that has lived together for a long time which said something like "in lieu of gifts, a donation to (local charity ) would be greatly appreciated.

When it comes to making mistakes of etiquette, I think it's much less of an offense to say "no gifts please" than it is to say (paraphrasing) "we're having you over to our house and here's a list of things I want you to buy for me". I hear of the latter version most often with young couples who have decided to buy a house together, but they aren't going to marry because they aren't ready for that kind of commitment. LOL!

In a recent wedding invitation (homemade), my friends added a note that indicated something like "no gifts please, but if you really feel the need please consider donating to one of our favorite charities" and they named a local animal shelter.

I don't know why it would be an etiquette issue....I would welcome it! :) I've received plenty of invitations saying that. My daughter sent it out on the surprise anniversary party she gave us. No one complained! :)

I think you could say it on the save the date also. I see no harm in doing that. I received a save the date for a 60th anniversary and on the bottom it is written "no gifts please but instead an item for the food pantry." I think they could have also just said "no gifts please" but they really believe in donating to the food pantry.

Second the food pantry items. We do that at Christmas and for my mom's 75th birthday I did put in no gifts please, a donation to our local food pantry would be very welcome. We had 75 guests and several boxes of food for the pantry. All the guests thought it was a very good idea.

I think you do need to make a "No Gifts Please" statement because it is customary to give gifts at these occasions. I like your idea about adding, "The pleasure of your company in celebration is what we most desire."

As for directing guests how to honor you, I don't even like that in a death notice. There, it is enough to state that the deceased was an active supporter of this and that charity. An exception is where the notice informs of a fund being established to aid the family of the deceased.

I don't go for cutsy or creative ways of saying things. They can be misinterpreted. For example "The pleasure of your company in celebration is what we most desire" does not indicate "no gifts". It's not definitive. or definite.

I'd rather say or see "Please, no gifts". That leaves no question. If you want to say something and mean it, say it.

I'm not an expert on issues of etiquette, but as a receiver of invitations, I think saying "No gifts please" on the invitation is simple, easily understood and appreciated. Someone who finds that offensive is looking for things to be offended by.

don't count on not getting any gifts. When my husband and I wrote our wedding invitations, we requested only the guests presence as a gift. Well, nobody listened. I had already been married and divorced and away from home 13 years. My husband was in his mid to late 30's and we lived together for seven years. We didn't need nor want gifts. Yet every single person who arrived, came with a gift.

That's why it's so important to be clear. No cute words (presence for presents) ... just say what you mean!

Might you consider that your guests bring canned food for the local food bank and have a box by the door for them to deposit it? Of course, then you would have to have someone deliver it to the shelter/food bank.

Don't know why this posted again .â¦. edited out as it was already posted.

This post was edited by suzieque on Mon, Mar 10, 14 at 13:12

Some events are so traditionally gift giving occasions (weddings) I agree people will ALWAYS bring a gift. When I see "no gifts" in anniversary invites I "read" No cutesy "50th" kitchy crap. If I know the person well I most likely have a "have to give" idea--picture/memento from back in the day I feel compelled to give, regardless of what was asked for. I agree I find registry info more offensive than "no gifts" instructions no matter how it is given. I appreciate the heck out of these instructions when the event is a second/third marriage or a situation where people already have plenty!! While the charity offer is nice, I don't see the point. Gifts are to evoke memories or to help someone get started, in my mind...if neither are needed--well I just don't GET IT.

suzieque -- I agree that you need to say "No Gifts", but as I posted, I would back that up with the request that you really just want people to COME.

Ah ⦠I get it, Chisue. Now I see that you mentioned adding that statement, not it being THE statement. Thanks for correcting me.

Many years ago, we received an invitation to a friend's surprise birthday party. "No gifts please" was on the invitation. My DH, son and I arrived empty handed. I was mortified when I saw most others arrive with a bottle of expensive wine and a card. I guess it just depends on the friends or the custom in that area. We came from out of town for the party.

am I the only one who enjoys gifts....none of my friends would go to a big expence

I've always like opening gifts even if it is a gag gift.

And sometimes people really like to give something special to a special friend.

This is just a thought....although I realize it is not an answer to your question.

what ever .......I hope you have a wonderful celebration.

Ours is in May and will be number 48....I hoping to make at least 50