Only you can figure out this one. Am I right in assuming that the wedding you are looking forward to is not a relative?

What happened when you graduated from high school holds no bearing here. We are talking about you and your sister and the graduation of her son.
If the other relatives are willing to drive out twice, then why not? Many people hold graduation parties afterwards. Exactly for your reason but it also allows the kids to attend each other's parties. Your nephew might be happier with this arrangement.

I would have a heart to heart talk with your sister. Be every so appreciative of the other relatives coming twice, if need be.

First item on your calendar should win, unless you prefer the second or third?

For me, I do what I want, rather than what others expect.

Moni

ellendi, I said the wedding is for my cousin's son, so he is my 2nd cousin. What happened at my graduation does affect my views on this.... it's about the way that society has changed. Everything a kid does is doted on now.... even simple high school dances are executed like old-fashioned weddings!

Moni, I want to be your friend! lol! I'm tired of having my family always telling me what to do, and I'm tired of them being mad at me if I don't do exactly what they want. :)

Is the cousin not your sister's cousin, as well?
Did the "save the date" arrive before the info about the graduation?
Do you have a super-close relationship with sister and nephew?
Much to consider!
I say do what you really want to do, and make it a point to visit with your nephew at another time.
No one can attend everything if both family events occur at the same time.
You just can't please everyone in this scenario.
Good luck!

I don't think I would drive four hours to go to a high school graduation party. I'd send a gift and leave it at that, no explanations. Break the chain of obligations. Your first obligation is to yourself.

I really don't see the high school graduation as being so momentous, and would probably not go that distance even if there weren't other choices. As Yaya, said, send a gift and wish him well.

I was going to say the same thing as Phyllis. I don't find graduation from High School as momentous an occasion as a wedding. JMO. Also, the thing that shocks me the most, most graduations either High School or College allow a very limited number of tickets to families because space doesn't allow for unlimited spectators. What is your sister thinking? I say she and the immediate family should go to graduation and have a family celebratory party sometime later. She should also take into consideration that the graduate would probably prefer to spend time with friends immediately following graduation, not with extended family.

wow, I like the way you guys think. lol!

I'll make it up to him.... I just got the idea to make homemade root beer for his party! I used to make it for him every xmas, using cane sugar, and he still asks for it. :)

I agree with others. Go to the wedding and go to the boy's party, which will hopefully not be on the same day as the wedding. Why on earth would anybody attend a graduation ceremony if they could figure a way out of it (unless you are the parent)? I say that last sentence with humor. Please don't respond to it as if I were serious.

From the tone of your post, it seems you really want to go to the wedding. And let's face it. Graduations are about the most boring thing in the world. I'd go to the wedding, but be prepared not to be invited to the party if you don't attend the graduation--or do you think you would be regardless? I'd send a gift and wait and see.

Well now...did you skip your nephew's graduation from Pre-K, from Kindergarten, from Junior High? LOL

Unless a person is ending his or her education at 12th Grade, or has faced some big challenges to do so, completing high school is just a normal step as you grow up. I doubt many people see it as the big milestone it was once considered. (Back when a high school diploma meant something more than a qualification for college.)

In my lifetime high school graduation parties are given for the graduates, not adults. Although, I do think parents who have managed to get a child safely to age 18 these days deserve congratulations!

I'd go to the wedding; I love weddings. But, of course, you have to do what's right for you.

High School graduates love cash; and yours loves home made root beer - send him some of both and you'll be the favorite guest whether you're there or not.

I graduated, both baccalaureate and commencement on the same Sunday afternoon and evening. Wes and I married on a Sunday in between the morning and evening services. I would not marry on the 13th, and the minister agreed to marry us the next day. It wasn't a "wedding," we just came to the Church with six friends and stood up at the altar.

Go to the wedding, there will be so many young people and friends at the grad send a nice card and say you had already replied to the wedding invitation. Just my thought..

I agree with everyone else who has said that you should go to the wedding; and then if your sister has a party for your nephew on another date and you feel like attending, then you can go to it, too.

"my cousin's son, so he is my 2nd cousin" -- Actually, your cousin's children are your first cousins once removed.

Second cousins would be the children of first cousins. In other words, your children and your first cousin's children would be second cousins to each other.

Here people have the graduation parties a week or 2 before the graduation. Tickets to the graduation are scarce so party goers would not be attending. A few years ago, some friends had a son graduating from high school on the same day and hour as one of his brothers graduated from college several hours away. The parents attended the college graduation and the third brother attended the high school graduation.

You seem to want to really go to the wedding, so you should do that and not just do what your family wants. I had to learn to stand up myself on things like this. A four hour drive is a long one to attend a high school graduation. I would consider a wedding to be a much bigger deal than a high school graduation.