I noticed girls are on a couple of our local high school wrestling teams. I would have no problem with my son wrestling a girl. Wrestling is a sport - hopefully the boys don't feel like they are inflicting violence on each other when they wrestle.

I would have no problem with my daughter (if I had one) wrestling boys either.

I'm for boys teams and girls teams no need to mix the two IMHO

I'm not sure how a male-female match works. It seems that certain holds would be barred.

As for violence in a highschool match, there should not be any if the ref is on his toes. For example, it is my understanding that if a combatant picks up his oponent, he is reaposible for how the oponent is put down. Body slaming to commit injury is not allowed and is a foul. Highschool wrestling is supposed to be contest of strength, skill, and endurance. The object is to pin the oponent for a specified number of seconds to gain a point.

What Paula said. People need to understand that it's a sport. No need to sexualize it.

As a mom of a 17 year old varsity wrestler I have some strong feelings about this. My son has wrestled a few females over the years but he hates it. He is afraid he will hurt them and tends to hold back. I tell him to put it out of his mind and wrestle as if she was a he. If she is out there on that mat then she knows the drill and all bets are off.

If I had a daughter, there is no way I would let her wrestle 17 year old testosterone overloaded males. These boys are 100 percent muscle and she WILL get hurt. there really is no comparison between the male and female anatomy at this age.

He should not have defaulted on a chance to be state champ because he didn't want to wrestle a girl. As the saying goes "if you want to play with the big dogs then you need to learn to p** in the tall weeds".

I know so little about wrestling that I probably shouldn't even respond. But I shared an office with a sports editor and saw a lot of wrestling photos, and when I read your question my first thought was not of violence, but of intimacy. In any case, I wouldn't be comfortable with it.

I wouldn't want to see boys wrestle girls. But my niece played football on her high school team and I'm proud of her.

problem is, wrestling isn't OFFERED for females, at least at the hs level...actually, havn't seen a college match either...

the young man had to follow his personal guidelines...

I was a huge sports fanatic all my life and encourage all women to participate in sports of all kinds...But in my opinion wrestling is far too intimate for male/female match-ups.
Although at 16, 17 years of age I was still very much a tomboy and would have loved to wrestle.(I believe my parents would have drawn the line here...)
I think a well raised young man has been taught respect for women and cannot knowingly hurt her.
Magic, I feel for your son...it must be hard for him.

Ok I'm going to weigh in on this issue. My question to the boy is why would it matter if this is a girl? I wonder if the boy was actually afraid that he'd get beat by the girl. It sounds like this was a state championship. I can just imagine the razzing the kid would have gotten if he had been beat by a girl. She would have beaten other boys to have gotten to the state championship match. He probably saw how this affected his peers that have been beat.

About 10 years ago my nephew was almost in this same position. He was in the tournament leading to state and there was a girl in his weight class. He ended up not having to wrestle her because she wasn't in his bracket and was beat before he met up with her. But I'm not sure that he would have wrestled her. For him, it had nothing to do with touching her in the wrong spots but it had more to due with the humilation of possibly being beat. Most teen boys could not handle being beat by a girl in a sport such as this because of the teasing from others. I believe that boy was possibly feeling this way.

This wrestling tournament is in Des Moines. The boy who refused to wrestle the girl is described as a "very devout Christian". He is home schooled and his dad is a pastor. He apparently feels wrestling is too violent to wrestle a girl. I don't agree with his opinion but I respect it.

>> He apparently feels wrestling is too violent to wrestle a girl.

Or is it, as suggested in other posts, that he apparently feels it is too intimate to wrestle a girl?

I don't have a strong opinion as I really haven't read enough about his instance to have an educated one. On the face of it, though, I would think that the intimacy part would be the stronger barrier. And given what was said about "very devout Christian", I'd suspect it goes that way rather than the violence aspect.

As a Iowan I will chime in and say I do not believe boys and girls should wrestle each other. I talked to a school teacher last night who talked to some high school boys about this. He said alot of the boys are not comfortable using the same holds on girls. It is different than football since it is rather intimate to see how the boys have to hold their girl and roll around the floor.
No way, am I am prude but I do disapprove of placing high school age boys and girls in this situation.

I think it is absolutely ridiculous to allow girls to wrestle boys. My son wrestled in high school and college so I know first hand that it is indeed a sport, a very physical, touchy, heads in crotch, groping .... NO, NOT IN A SEXUAL WAY rolling around on the floor sport. Like it or not this is a much too intimate sport for girls and boys of that age or any age to be competing against each other. I defend a girls' right to wrestle if she chooses, with another girl. Form your womens league and go for it. Seriously

I also admire this young man.. I did not realize that this was a co-ed sport. I am a little uncomfortable with that as well. I believe this boy should be credited for standing up for what he believes in... good for him.

I'm mid 50's, not a prude by any stretch of the imagination, and did some wrestling way back in high school. I can't imagine wrestling a girl. Like wine50 said, it's a very physical, touchy, sport. Wrestling a guy you get a hold on them however and wherever you can. With a girl I would have been too concerned that I'd touch her someplace I shouldn't. You expect me to reach through her crotch and grab her thigh to get the leverage I need to flip her on her back? Then lay across her chest to chest to pin her shoulders to the mat? It just doesn't seem right.

Ron

"You expect me to reach through her crotch and grab her thigh to get the leverage I need to flip her on her back? Then lay across her chest to chest to pin her shoulders to the mat? It just doesn't seem right. "

Exactly!

For those arguing that wrestling is wrong from an intimacy standpoint how do you conclude it is less intimate for a males head to be in another male's crotch? Males wouldn't tolerate other males touching them in the same manner off the mat. So what's the difference? It's sexist to make the rules different for females.

It's a sport. You have to step outside the terms intimate and "violent" with many sports who no one would play.

I hate the term violence used in a sport. If that were so than a lot young Christian men who are "anti-violence" shouldn't be participating at all.

I'm thinking it's what others have said. Fear. The kid owed it to his team/school to wrestle whoever he drew. Poor sportsmanship to do otherwise.

Exactly, Wildchild.

These young women aren't asking for special treatment - they want to compete, on a level playing field, with the young men. They want to wrestle, and they deserve the chance to do so.

I think the young man who forfeited his match did a disservice to his school and the sport.

Here's a story about another girl wrestler that I thought was cool.

Here is a link that might be useful: Kelsey Kennell

The reports and interviews I've seen say it was nothing about sex, it was simply his upbringing taught him not to treat a girl this way. He was raised to essentially put them on a pedestal, the "old fashioned" way, sexist though it may be to many. Not surprisingly it gets blown out of proportion as do many situations, especially when someone is standing up for something in which they believe about strongly.

I have some mixed feelings on this. There's differences between boys & girls and some don't want to admit it as we saw in another thread a short while ago.

This hoopla reminds me of a situation some years back where a large city's fire department had to drop their physical standards for firefighters because they couldn't recruit enough female firefighters. They had height requirements, they had lifting requirements, endurance standards and other standards that many of the applicant females couldn't meet so they sued to get them dropped. Their argument was that a woman couldn't lift as much as a man therefore they should be given lower standards. It was called biased and sexist to require that for instance an unconscious body be carried a certain distance. So, now if you need someone to carry you down a ladder, good luck. Maybe there's male & female fires, I don't know. But I digress.

Call me sexist, but I'm personally not a fan of coed wrestling, football, hockey and the like. But if you want to participate that's fine if you are aware of the possibilities and accept them.

I fully respect the student's decision for himself but there's other repercussions for which he loses respect from me. His action not only affected himself and the opponent, but his team also took a loss for his refusal and I don't think they should have to be penalized. Part of being on the team is the responsibility to do the job. Everyone is to pull their weight, sometimes you don't want to go against a particular opponent but you do. He knew this was coming and shouldn't have been on the starting team if he wasn't going to perform. I certainly respect him for standing up for his beliefs, especially in this situation, but he also had the obligation to step aside before requiring the loss and damaging his team.

I am impressed with the way it was handled by both the male and female student though. They essentially seemed to just say this is it and leave it at that - not looking for publicity, though they must have known it was coming. Nevertheless that showed maturity on both on the part of both students for which I applaud them both.

I'm curious when people have to bring sex into sports just because there's male/female involved. "Grabbing", "groping", "touchy", "feely" and all the other terms inflammatory phrases are thought by some to not be good for male/female opponents since it's apparently somehow inherently "sexual" but somehow it's *not* "sexual" when it's homosexual? Why wouldn't it be as inherently "sexual" when it's male/male or female/female? Touching crotches isn't sexual with same sex?

If a male employee (or employer) grabs a male's crotch in an employment situation, it's sexual harassment. Same for females. But there's situations it's known it'll happen such as a physical. I'm not understanding the automatic assumption that everything becomes sexual with a male/female situation.

Maybe it's time to abolish high school and college sports and have them start teaching for a change. Would help the financial situation the schools face too, wouldn't it?

this is really a good subject. I heard about the kid from Iowa. Ive been talking about it for the last 3 days since I heard about it. If I had a daughter there is no way I would let her wrestle boys. My nephew was a state champion and I saw him wrestle and a lot of other wrestling and there is no way I would want a boy to do some of those holds and moves to my daugher. I think it is stupid. Football is different You have a lot more padding on when you play that. In wrestling you have on this thin little leotard thing. I dont think girls should be allowed to wrestle with boys. I feel sorry for the boy from Iowa.

am a freshman girl wrestler.i fell no sexuality or intamacy tword the boys i wrestle. its a boys sport but i work just as hard as them and i understand their concerns but us girl wrestlers realize the posibility of getting hurt . when i step out onto the mat i expect the biy i am up aaginst to look me in the eyes , shake my hand, and wrestle me like any other apponent he has ever wrestled befor. i understand how they feel but they need to look at me as just another person that they should try to beat. yes they have for the mostpart more muscle but we have to outsmart them. its not always equal bith f=genders should suck it up. and if i should so happen to beat them please no tears because i am just simply another apponant and i dont cry when i am beat. when ever i win i tell them good job i know how they feel but they shouldnt feel anyworse if i win than if it were another boy they lost to

Excellent Kelsey! Good for you!!

I don't have a problem with it at all. I think it's wrong to say you can't or shouldn't because you're a girl.

My son also wrestles. He'd rather not wrestle a girl, (he's 14 after all) but if he does draw a female opponent, once they shake hands it's game on.
They all go through the same physical training and they all know what they're in for. Like Kelsey said, it's as much mental/skillful as physical. If a boy has a problem wrestling a girl, but the girl doesn't care, then it's the boys problem. He should get over it or find another sport.

I'm always impressed by the girls. If for no other reason than knowing I would never have been brave enough.

Sorry, I'm very much against it. I'm not against co-ed sports....bowling, basketball, ping-pong, archery, gymnastics, cross country, track, baseball. There are many other sports females can participate in but contact sports like wrestling, no, no, no. It's not fair to the boy. If he's been brought up to respect women, in the back of his mind he's always going to worry about hurting her. There's just so much for political correctness. Enough already. Kudos to this young man for politely refusing to wrestle her. I don't think it was a fear of being beaten by a girl at all. Sport or no sport, I can't imagine any young man wanting to pick up a girl and slam her down on a mat.

Wouldn't denying a girl the opportunity to compete at a higher level, in a sport they enjoy, because they are female be equally disrespectful?

You aren't actually suggesting that a boy, who's able to wrestle a girl, has not been brought up to respect girls, are you??

Girls have breasts. Boys don't. Grasping a breast would be very awkward and at the very least painful for a young woman. I agree it's not fair for a young man to have to deal with the anatomy of a girl. Girls with girls, I suppose. Girls have to deal with the fact that they are made different and adjust to that. Anyone who has watched High school wrestling knows it entails much pulling and pushing. I don't like wrestling myself but my dh and many folks I know had or do wrestle. My dd has a good friend that wrestles now. There is no doubt she can win matches with boys. She is well developed on top and that I feel puts her and the boys at a disadvantage. Even if she wraps herself that would make her possibly slicker or bulkier than her counterparts who only wear a singlet.

Wouldn't denying a girl the opportunity to compete at a higher level, in a sport they enjoy, because they are female be equally disrespectful?

You aren't actually suggesting that a boy, who's able to wrestle a girl, has not been brought up to respect girls, are you??

Excellent Dani.

Girls have breasts. Boys don't.

Boys have external sexual organs. Girls don't.

So what's your point?

"Girls have breasts. Boys don't. Grasping a breast would be very awkward and at the very least painful for a young woman."

That is a choice she makes. Like Kelsey said, they all know what to expect and they are willing to take the chance. There is absolutely nothing sexual about the sport of wrestling. It is a sport of strength and technique. If parts get grabbed or hurt, that's just the way it is. Once they step onto the mat, gender doesn't matter. They are an opponent and the idea is to win, period.

I think the boy that refused to wrestle has the right to refuse but I don't think he deserves any kudos. He let his team down down, his coach, and also the chance to be state champion, Something he obviously worked very hard to achieve.

Those wrestlers work and train very hard to earn a chance to go to state. If this boy wasn't willing to go and compete in good faith no matter who his competitor is, he should not have been there. He should have given up his spot to someone who was more deserving and willing to compete.

Dirty wrestlers may grab the penis or jewels I am told but I have yet to see anyone do that myself. It isn't done by most wrestlers. Hands go near the crotch that's for sure but most competators will avoid doing that. Now grabbing or crossing the chest area is common and completely acceptable. That's my point.
My youngest plays intense sports. It gets pretty rough but I wouldn't be supporting her in anything that would require her breasts to be grabbed and pulled anymore than I would having my son's family jewels sqwashed. Sports are exciting competition but I draw the line at my dd's having their breast forcefully pulled sooner or later. It's a sport made for guys. It has nothing to do with discrimination.

It's not a sport made for guys. They added women's wrestling to the Olympics. It's complete discrimination to say someone shouldn't play a sport because of their gender. I can't think of a better definition of discrimination.

What about figure skating? Have you seen some of those holds? Male hands are all over the female bodies and we don't say anything about that. That's a lot of groping, grabbing, gripping, sliding, dropping, pinning, pulling all over the butt and breasts going on there yet it's acceptable as a co-ed sport. What's the difference? Would you let your daughter do pairs skating?

oh brother.....it's not worth my time.
To each his own.

Never once have I watched Figure skating and thought omg that reminds me of high school wrestling. lol

I'm with ya Toni...

That happened here at our state tournament...

Reguardless of anyone's opinion of should they or shouldn't they....I applaud the boy for forfetting his match if that's how HE felt about it. That took a lot of courage.

Those kids worked hard to get there.

oops "regardless"

This is the female wrestler that the boy didn't want to wrestle. Personally, I don't see any breasts.

And, boy, we have some saying that boys have the physical advantage because they are more muscular and then we have Toni who thinks boobs give girls the advantage so maybe it all evens out and maybe these differences will make the sport more interesting. I know little about wrestling but I thought it was as much about outsmarting your opponent as overpowering them.

Here is a link that might be useful: {{gwi:1622003}}

Exactly. We aren't talking about some man randomly body slamming a girl on the street. These girls are trained athletes following a passion for a sport. They are fully aware of where they may be touched and obviously they don't have a problem with it. If you're in a contact sport, you touch and you get touched. That's how it is. If you don't want to be touched, or if you don't feel comfortable touching someone else, then you shouldn't be in contact sports. And that's the choice people make.

It's voluntary. No one is making these kids wrestle. And to deny a female the chance to participate because of her gender is just wrong and, frankly, rather insulting to her. If someone had refused to wrestle someone else due to race or religion everyone would be up in arms, but so many people are defending this guy's choice not to wrestle a girl. I don't understand that at all. Discrimination is discrimination. You shouldn't be able to pick your opponents based on your "comfort level" of touching them.

"But, I had to just hold on to what I decided in fifth grade that I wouldn't wrestle a girl."

Straight out of the boy's mouth on the Early Show interview.

Seems to me he has no business in the sport. He is far too immature to deal with it. His immaturity cost not only his team but her opportunity. She was the 2nd of only 2 girls to make the state championships. Could have been a moment in history for her. His wussiness ruined it.

He needs another sport. Figure skating? Nah. Might have to touch a girl. Maybe table tennis or bowling.

Yes, that's another point. Denying her chance to fully participate in championships, maybe earn a scholarship or even eventually go the Olympics. Winning by forfeit is something she's going to have to live with and, unfortunately, she'll likely face social consequences of not advancing based on her skill or ability but rather her gender.

yes when us girl wrestlers get forfitted on it not somthing we like we dont like that we win just beause they dont feel they shiould wrrestle us because they think we are weak or fragile. i say bring it if we win we win if we lose we know you beat us fair and square that we earned our place based upon our knowlage, hard , and ability