Mixed emotions - Rambling

10 years ago

You all know I don't post much here but I have to get this off my chest.

Several years ago, my husband and I prevented a very serious crime from happening. Nothing physical or "intervening" but acting on intuition and alerting authorities. Don't want you all thinking we're super-people or anything. The man was caught and served jail time. He pled guilty moments before the trial was to start where I would have testified as a primary witness. He knew who we were because of that. He never scared me but the young woman who was his intended victim had her life change; she's done fine but knowing what could have been scared her.

I kept tabs on him but kind of fell away from doing that for a few months. I did a search today and found he passed away early September of last year.

I've got mixed emotions. Don't know how he died and I don't care. I feel sorrow for his family but then a sense of peace that there's no more looking over one's shoulder. We let the young woman know (she moved across the country) and she thanked us again. I feel odd; like I have zero emotion about it.

I am not looking for replies or anything; I just wanted to get that off my chest; I think I just needed to tell someone outside the little impacted circle.

Comments (13)

blfenton
10 years ago
Interesting emotions for you to be experiencing. I just wanted to thank-you for not just standing by and doing nothing. Thanks for caring enough to help someone who was in trouble.
joyfulguy
10 years ago
Yes, there are a mixture of feelings and emotions when one feels it important to stick one's nose into someone else's (or various "someone elses'") business, especially when one feels somewhat at personal risk in doing so.

It does feel like a weight has been lifted from one's shoulders when one knows that one is free of potential retribution for having acted responsibly, even if it was some time ago.

The young lady will be thankful that, though further trouble from him might have appeared to be a remote possibility, it is now gone completely.

Thank you for having done what you felt needed to be done, back then. Many would rather not stick their neck(s) out in such a situation.

It helps keep our community and society functioning more smoothly when some choose to act with consideration for others when they have need.

ole joyful
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rhizo_1 (North AL) zone 7
10 years ago
Dees, I'd also like to thank you for taking action. It can be a difficult thing to do and you set a good example of responsibly.
Georgysmom
10 years ago
I haven't walked the mile in your shoes so I don't really know how I would feel. However, if this man was a threat to this other woman and possibly even to you, I don't think I would have mixed emotions, I think I would just feel relief that the threat was removed.
ellendi
10 years ago
Are you trying to sort out your mixed emotions?

I'm not sure that you have zero emotion. Sounds to me like you were greatly effected by this whole ordeal.

I just want to say that I feel for you and what you have gone through. I also agree with the others that it takes a special person to stand up and do what's right especially when they could be harm's ways.
chisue
10 years ago
You know you did the right thing. Think how you would feel if you had NOT done so!

It must feel contradictory to be relieved that a threat is lifted when the relief is tied to someone's death.

Don't you bother your head 'bout that, dear.
Toni S
10 years ago
It is what it is. You can feel a sense of relief that your not looking over your shoulder any longer. I imagine you are content to move on without this element hanging over your head.
arkansas girl
10 years ago
I would be relieved he was dead unless he was some close relative then maybe I would feel differently. Not sure why you would need to feel any emotion or why you think it is odd that you feel zero emotion that he is dead. Sounds like a "good riddance" to me.
patti43
10 years ago
Dees, I can't even begin to imagine the fear that young lady and your family too, must have lived with. So my feelings for all of you is one of relief and a little happiness thrown in that you aren't living under that pressure ever again! And congratulations for taking the hard road rather than ignoring it.
rob333 (zone 7b)
10 years ago
(((dees, husband, and lady across the country)))
jannie
10 years ago
I'd feel a sense of relief now that he's gone to his reward.
yayagal
10 years ago
Perhaps you're feeling a tiny bit conflicted because, in a good way, you were the witness and ultimately, because you were, he went to jail and has now died. Be assured you have no reason to bear any burden from this experience. What you are feeling is post traumatic stress as the whole incident is back in your mind again. Know that this will pass, your mind will sort it all out and lay it to rest. Replace the uneasiness with a sense of pride that you saved a girl from being a potential victim. You're our heroine!!! Now smile.
nicole__
10 years ago
You did the right thing....don't hesitate to intervene the next time...my praise and thanks go out to you.

The only thought I would have is....there won't be a "next time" with this guy involved....good......relief.....peace to the victim....

Mixed emotions - Rambling

Comments (13)

blfenton

joyfulguy

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