The real meaning of plant catalog terminology: "A favorite of birds" means to avoid planting near cars, sidewalks, or clotheslines. "Grows more beautiful each year" means "Looks like roadkill for the foreseeable future." "Zone 5 with protection" is a variation on the phrase "Russian roulette." "May require support" means your daughter's engineering degree will finally pay off. "Moisture-loving" plants are ideal for landscaping all your bogs and swamps. "Carefree" refers more to the plant's attitude than to your workload. "Vigorous" is code for "has a Napoleonic compulsion to take over the world." "Grandma's Favorite" -- until she discovered free-flowering, disease-resistant hybrids.

The Israelis and Arabs finally realized that, if they continued fighting, they would someday end up destroying the world. So they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with a dogfight. The negotiators agreed that each country would take five years to develop the best fighting dog they could. The dog that won the fight would earn its country the right to rule the middle east. The losing side would have to lay down its arms. The Arabs found the biggest, meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers in the world. They bred them together and then crossed their offspring with the meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest, strongest puppy from each litter and continued to breed them together. They used steroids and trainers in their quest for the perfect killing machine. After the five years were up, they had a dog that needed iron prison bars on its cage. Only the trainers could handle this beast. When the day of the big fight arrived, the Israelis showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine-foot-long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for the Israelis. No one else thought this weird animal stood a chance against the growling beast in the Arab camp. The bookies predicted the Arabs woul win in less than a minute. The cages were opened. The Dachshund waddled toward the center of the ring. The Arab dog leapt from his cage and charged the giant wiener-dog. As he got to within an inch of the Israeli dog, the Dachshund opened its jaws and swallowed the Arab beast in one bite. There was nothing left but a small of fur from the killer dog's tail. The Arabs approached the Israelis, shaking their heads in disbelief. "We do not understand. Our top scientists and breeders worked for five years with the meanest, biggest Dobermans and Rottweilers. They developed a killing machine." "Really?" the Israelis replied. "We had our top plastic surgeons working for five years to make an alligator look like a Dachshund!"

Since some of the paint you used came from Home Depot - ummmm let me guess there will be some say it was the Home Depot paint. ;) Never noticed paints ever having that type of smell, but then again after breathing fumes all the time some of us just get used to the smells blending together. After all this time , I kinda like the smells. :D If you leave the door closed, try opening and airing the room out. You might also try using some aromatic candles or using a potpourri pot with some vanilla, cinnamon sticks and orange scents mixed in. Opening a window might help some or a fan pulling some of the smell out.

If you carry one of those lifeline message systems around your neck with a button that you push in case of an emergency to notify an operator via your phone, whether it's just a signal, or one of the kind where she can ask questions and you answer ... ... remember that she's going to notify one of your friends who then comes to check on you ... ... so you'd better have given them a copy of your door key (or shown them where to find one, hidden on your property), previously. Or prepare yourself for a broken door, window, etc. Unless they know where to find the stepladder ... and where to find a window that isn't locked ... plus are athletic enough to be able to use it! ole joyful