I'm not a germ-a-phobe, in any sense, but to NOT wash your hands after using the restroom, especially a male, is just disgusting.

wait...did you ask to wash YOUR hands before eating?
and how many times have you broken bread with the "friend"? and he might be like my dil...she keeps a little bottle of sanitizer in her kitchen...

Susan, yes, I wash my hands before eating. Thanks for questioning my cleanliness habits. Do you wash YOUR hands? (You know, just in case we ever share a meal.) :-) We "break bread" about once a month at least. No, he's not like your DIL. He doesn't like lotion like things on his skin. And BTW, he's a friend, not a "friend." Are all of your friends "friends"?

I wash all the time. I wash as soon as I get in from ANYWHERE. Sanitizers gross me out because to my mind that's just rubbing around the ewwww. I keep hand wipes in the front seat of my car and after my hands I do the steering wheel. I turn on the faucet with the back of my wrist. I wash before getting clean things out of the dryer and after putting dirty laundry in the washer. I don't feel OCD, I feel clean and fresh and calm somehow. If anyone opens my front door going out it gets the Lysol wipe. OK, maybe some OCD...

Lol, I have no idea what my friends do in a private bathroom. Did he tell you he doesn't wash?

I was wondering the same thing...(picturing someone standing at the door of the washroom with ear pressed to it. How would one know if the sound of water running was him tinkling or the tap turned on? hahaha

The other day I went to Subway for a sandwich. The guy working there disappeared as I was walking in. I heard a flushing toilet and he came straight out. I was getting ready to leave because it was obvious he didn't wash his hands. Thank goodness he walked around the counter and washed his hands in the sink behind the counter.

Kathleen, I would have been ready to walk out the door too.

Just as Chi83 wondered, I am also wondering how you know he didn't wash his hands. Was it a public restroom that your husband was in at the same time as this friend, and your hubby observed the guy using the facilities and then leaving the restroom without washing his hands? Or was it a bathroom in your or the friend's house?

Your "edit to be clear" didn't clear things up at all...

Do you wash them for at least 20 seconds? Sing Happy Birthday two times.

From the Mayo Clinic.
"How to wash your hands

It's generally best to wash your hands with soap and water. Follow these simple steps:

Wet your hands with running water, either warm or cold.
Apply liquid, bar or powder soap.
Lather well.
Rub your hands vigorously for at least 20 seconds. Remember to scrub all surfaces, including the backs of your hands, wrists, between your fingers and under your fingernails.
Rinse well.
Dry your hands with a clean or disposable towel or air dryer.
If possible, use a towel or your elbow to turn off the faucet.

Keep in mind that antibacterial soap is no more effective at killing germs than is regular soap. Using antibacterial soap might even lead to the development of bacteria that are resistant to the product's antimicrobial agents, making it harder to kill these germs in the future."

Studies have shown that air driers spread more germs and that paper towels are more sanitary.
Start singing . . . Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday to you. and repeat. And teach your children and grandchildren.

I too was wondering how does anyone know for sure whether someone washes their hands unless they watch in person.

There's controversy over anti-bacterial soaps. One of my surgeons acknowledges this but he still highly endorses the use of them and given his experience and talent, I go with his advice. The doomsday folks that keep predicting the "superbacteria" coming from the use of anti-bacterial soaps haven't proven anything to me to keep me from using them however I'm not addicted to the stuff. If it's not anti-bacterial, I don't worry about it too much.

Plus, studies show that the friction of rubbing your hands does more than the soap does so even using water and rubbing your hands thoroughly for sufficient time is an effective cleaning method but I still prefer to use soap.

I have started to use the foam soaps. I just like them better. Less mess. And FWIW, the instructions on them say to apply the foam to DRY hands, rub them thoroughly to work it in and THEN rinse with water. Which only makes sense when I think about it.

I can tell if someone washes when in my house. The pump kicks in when the water is turned on. (the joys of country living and being on a cistern) No pump on, no washy hands.

I actually tell everyone at my house, "go wash up for dinner guys, it's ready in two minutes." And my 14 year old nephew, who I know just runs his hands under the water and wipes them off, I make go and do them again, tell him, "and this time use some soap!"

As for DH and I, we wash after using the bathroom, when we come in from doing chores, before I cook, after each time I handle raw meat, and before we eat. We laugh about our childhoods, because both our moms used the ,"Cleanliness is next to Godliness" phrase to instill that in us. It worked, anyways.

Too, I can tell if someone washes their hands by the speed they come back into the room.

A number of years ago we had a family get-together, and one of the women used the washroom which is adjacent to the family room. It was so obvious that she didn't wash her hands. After everyone left my step-father commented that he was shocked that she didn't wash her hands, she was brought up to do it.

I recently worked with a really fun guy who loved to golf and cook. Last year he invited me and two of my friends (both guys) to meet up with him for golf and then drive to his home for dinner.... his home way out in the boonies. Since we had already spent the day playing golf we were very hungry, but what we witnessed at his home and what we were served had the three of us very worried that we would even survive.

How did I know he didn't wash his hands? because he walked out his kitchen door to pee in the yard!!! That was nothing though... He initially served beef..... it was clearly undercooked (very red) and had been sitting out for hours! I didn't touch that. Then he began to make us soup: he didn't wash the vegetables... he didn't even peel them or remove any bad parts! He just grabbed a bunch of celery and started chopping, then a bunch of carrots and started cutting... you get the picture.

What do you do when you're VERY hungry and out in the boonies eating at the home of a lunatic like that?!

Now that you have vented, we all agree that it is disgusting, what are you going to do about it?

TMI

I'm an admitted germophobe. I never eat from a communal bowl of chips, etc at a gathering...you don't know where all those hands have been. Always wash when I come in from the grocery, shopping, etc. I carry sanitizer in my purse and always use it at a restaurant when the food comes. Wash my hands at home a lot while cooking and before eating.

I would still like to hear from alice_sj that started this thread how she knew the person had not washed his hands? You have us all curious.

Now in party musics case that was pretty obvious LOL
I would have to hope he boiled the heck out of the soup and go with that, not so much going for the beef.
And maybe ask if he has a loaf of bread or crackers and butter and fill up on carbs if the bread was not green. Look around for other safe alternatives ;-)~

Having worked in the medical field for so many years and in sterile environments, surgeries, etc the hand scrubbing is an ingrained automatic response to me. And I still do often scrub to the elbow. I used surgical scrub for years even at home, now I use liquid soaps I like the foams also and I have a hand scrub brush at the sinks and in the shower. Those kinds of habits are long lived and in this case it's a good one.

yes, both dh and I, wash our hands before and often after meals...and I emphasized "friend" as you were critical of his habits...one assumes if you have been around a friend for many years there wouldn't be any questioning to his habits that you posted...

Very disgusting. Blame his parents in absentia.

There's only one strike needed to get called "out" in this baseball game, as far as I'm concerned. Solid evidence isn't required for conviction, even the suspicion is enough. I wouldn't go back there for meals if they were my friends.

There's one couple we know for whose invitations we always have a prior commitment and are unable to have dinner at their house. Not for the same reason as this, but a similar one. I'm no germophobe, but I also don't need to put up with someone's off-putting habits. If it were a person with whom I couldn't duck the encounters, I'd speak up.

They did a study on sanitizers in hospitals and found out there is still bacteria on their hands after using sanitizers and infections in the hospitals increasing. They still use them. I use it if I have no other resource.

Alcohol based hand sanitizers aren't 100% effective but they're much better than nothing. Same is true of hand washing, especially because most people don't wash their hands thoroughly or effectively. The practice of putting the dispensers all over hospitals and medical offices has significantly reduced patient infection rates.

It's all about making a reasonable effort and not ignoring the obvious.

I know someone hasn't washed their hands when they open the bathroom door when the toilet is flushing . I wash my hands as soon as I come in the door from being outside in my yard or when I come home from wherever. I carry hand sanitizer in my purse and use it just before going up to receive communion at church. My ex-DH did not wash him hands unless he could see dirt on them. He grew up without indoor plumbing and therefore was never taught to wash his hands after using the bathroom. He and my DS used to tell me that no one in the men's room washes their hands after using the stalls or urinals.

I am a fanatic about washing my hands and they really show it in the winter months. I used to have to remind my mother in her later years after she used the bathroom. I could tell she hadn't washed as you can't flush the toilet and be opening the door within two seconds unless you don't wash your hands. She would go back and wash, but she was in her nineties at that time.

It's not only what a person might collect on his/her hands in the restroom, but what might have been on them when entering the restroom. It's good to wash periodically during the day.

Many restrooms now have a trashcan by the door so people can open the door with towels and then toss them. I like that.

I agree about the sanitizers. It seems like a person is just smearing the germs around, but maybe not. Sometimes it's all you've got.

I have a question about hand sanitizers. You pick up the bottle out of your purse with the hands that you think are germy and you apply some of the sanitizer to your hands and drop the bottle back into your purse. Aren't the germs all over the outside of that bottle now and inside your purse?

I was in a situation like this:
*****************************************************************************

Here'e how "my" real life situation turned out:

I offered that we all go out to eat. Everyone backed me up but the cook wouldn't leave. They insisted everything was fine, it would NOT make us sick. So we all stayed and ate every last bite.

"I won't do THAT next time"

This post was edited by nicole__ on Fri, Jan 16, 15 at 17:17