Sometimes it all hits you at once. I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. That's hard to get through with all these other issues piling on top. I hope things smooth out for you and your family soon. In the meanwhile, take a deep breath and remember how lovely your garden looked last summer. It won't make any of your problems go away, but it will remind you that times have been good in days past, and they will very likely be good again. Rosefolly

I'd like to request from Fran 1 Troical White Canna 1 Jewel of Opar 1 offers of 3 bulbs/sets Egyptian Walking Onion they MAY not have tops on them BUT I just put them in dirt so the SHOULD by shipping time 1 offers Agastashe Honey Bee Blue 1 Thalia dealbeta (Water Canna) 1 Hosta S. Elegans 1 Pennywort Start 1Daylily Romantic Rose these are starts 1 E.T.Fingers Jade Plant Fran you keep this up your're gona need an 18 wheeler LOL I'm not far behind ya.:o) HI to everybody else I hope you all are getting what what you want, Have Great day!

BM told DH that SD is getting on her nerves & she doesn't think she can take it any/much longer (I may have not gotten the exact words from DH, I wasn't there). I don't know what BM has told SD, but it wouldn't surprise me if she says hurtful things to her. I don't even know if she's playing that angle anymore... saying she wants SD. It was pretty cold what she did/said at SD's birthday party. She showed up 40 minutes late, no gift & stayed in the corner with her BF & baby... then SD got my permission to spend an hour with BM after the party (I thought BM had agreed) and when SD asked her, BM said "no honey, I've got to get the baby home, it's such a long drive... I don't know how HE'S lasted THIS long!", like coming to her party was a major inconvenience. I mean the baby was sleeping the whole time... he was a month old. That was a HUGE eye opener for SD... BM did that right in front of me & MIL. mattie~ If someone had told me as a young adult, that I would witness so many mother's not parenting their own children, I would not have believed it. I had my first when I was still 17. I made a choice to be a parent. Abortion was legal, I could have chosen adoption (because I am pro-life), but my choice was to be a parent & take the responsibility for my actions, since my child was not planned. I NEVER imagined that dumping my child off on anyone else, including the father, was an option. I was flabbergasted when I met my exBF. HE had three children & their mother had walked out for a new boyfriend. She came to see the kids once or twice a year.. never called or saw them on holidays or birthdays, never bought them anything or paid support. But, then I got a job in social services & then I really saw how many kids are being raised by father's, grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousins, siblings, etc. & foster care. and within my own family, I have a couple of female cousins & a sister that left the children to pursue their own life (with or without someone else) but they walked away too. I thought the bonding & love that developed between me & my children when I was pregnant & as they grew up, was something ALL women felt for their offspring. It is somewhat understandable if men don't have that same bonding experience, because they don't physically carry, give birth & nurse the baby. IMO, the maternal instinct is to nurture & protect your offspring & the paternal instinct is to protect & provide for the offspring. Maybe that's why it's so hard for me to comprehend how a mother can not want to nurture her child, but put herself first & use her own child to further her own agenda. and I do think this affects me more because I have my own (deep) issues with my own mother. I was just telling my dad yesterday, that I am 41 years old & still have not given up completely that my mother would be different. I have accepted that we will never have a mother/daughter relationship where we go shopping, get our nails done & have lunch. I've grieved it as it is a loss & have accepted that she isn't that kind of mother, but then again it is something that I hope could happen... even though I know it isn't likely, which is what SD does with her mom.. she knows she isn't getting from her mom what she wants, she just hasn't gotten to the point of accepting that that's the way it is. I think she's getting there & it's a painful journey.. I know because I've been there. That is where all of my anger toward BM three years ago came from... I knew we'd get to this place and it made me angry that I could do nothing about it. I actually feel bad for BM & DIL because they might think they can make up for it later & have that relationship someday... the one my mom once talked about with me, but it never happened because those relationships take time & energy. Those kinds of mothers don't want to invest their time & energy into building it, then wonder what went wrong with it's not there later. I feel sad for BM & DIL that they are missing out on so much with their children... but it's not really about MY feelings.

Ha, Rockybird, that is a tale of adventure! Brave lady. Robo, I think I missed out on reading What Color is Your Parachute when I should have read it in my 20's. Or maybe I lacked the self-awareness to understand what I really value and enjoy in my work. One thing you mentioned is coworkers, and my job is performed in near total isolation from colleagues, which is one of the factors motivating me to want to change. Honestly, I think if I could find a position in my field or any other where I could relegate work to the role of "just work" in my life that would be half the battle. It's the kind of job that weighs heavily on my mind even when I'm not there. But I also think that even if some evil twist of fate meant I had to stay in the same job until retirement, there are lots of other ways to significantly change one's life for the better. New hobbies, new social connections--or letting go of those that weigh you down more than sustain you--learning new skills that may not be for a job but that are fulfilling.