mom smoked and I didn't...my dh smoked ( quit) but only one of the kids (4) did, but he quit (and his dw) before they had their first child...and never started up again...

it's really a good thing. our kids had allergies and later on 1 has asthma...

Mother is a smoker. Brother and I both smoke. Husband grew up with a smoking father and non smoking mother. He and 1 sister are both smokers. Oldest sister never smoked

I see fewer and fewer adult smokers these days. I've just learned that while our condo complex is trying to go entirely smoke-free, only three of 316 owners currently does smoke. (Many owners here are over 65.)

By contrast, when I was a child *everybody* seemed to smoke (and drink). I'm certain that many kids had respiratory illnesses due to this.

I quit over forty years ago when our DS was born. I never smoked much, but I did so daily. I only realized I was an addict when I decided to quit. Never looked back.

A TV ad for a campaign features someone who has quit. In the ad he tallies a day without smoking, saying he's saved nine dollars by not smoking ten cigarettes. Wow! That's big money! Can people be spending $3K a year on this? (Not counting medical expenses related to it.)

A carton a week at $50? Yes, it's possible, chisue!

DH and I were both smokers when the kids were young. They all 3 are smokers, with the exception of my daughter who is currently in basic training. But she will probably resume smoking when she finishes.

My dad smoked but my mother didn't. 2 of their 3 were/are smokers. Both of DH's parents were smokers. All but one of their kids were/are smokers.

Before kids are in middle school they already understand the evils of smoking. They continue to be given the information so is it personality traits that cause them to make the decision to smoke?

Both parents smoked. I remember riding in the car with them smoking. When I moved away from home, I shared a house with a person who smoked. I don't smoke, but sometimes I think I smoked the first 21 years of my life.

My Mom smoked, my Dad didn't. All through my childhood I always felt sick from my Mom's smoking especially when we went on vacation by car. Windows only cracked and my Aunt, my Mom and my Sister all smoking. No wonder I was car sick all the time.

My oldest sister smoked until she had breast cancer. My other sister only smoked now and then but for a short time. My Aunt quit. My Grandfather smoked a pipe and cigars. The only one in my family who smokes and who should not is my younger brother. He smoked for years, then quit for quite a few years then started smoking cigars which turned into full time cigarette smoking again.

My 2 nieces never smelled like babies. They always smelled of smoke and it was really disturbing to me. They are adults now and never smoked thank goodness.

My older brother smokes a cigar now and then. I think my next oldest brother has the odd cigar but never smokes cigarettes and another brother never smoked.

When my Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's she still smoked for a few more years, as the disease developed I slowly weaned her off the cigarettes and then hid the rest and then she forgot she smoked. Best thing ever for me. I used to babysit the kids next door when I was still able to leave my Mom alone and I would go upstairs and look down into my kitchen to see what my Mom was up to. I saw her use the stove burner to light her cigarette and not turn it off and that was when I was determined to stop her smoking. She would drop her cigarette and it would burn my dog who was at her feet, she burned the tablecloth and place mats. I don't know how my stopping her from smoking really affected her but I noticed everything would go into her mouth. Crayons, pencils, pens, her fingers. I would have to keep some small items out of her reach so they wouldn't end up in her mouth and she couldn't choke on them.

My Mom's brother was a heavy smoker and he died of pancreatic cancer, my Mom died of pancreatic cancer, her cousin also a smoker died of pancreatic cancer, my sisters both had breast cancer as did my Aunt. I keep getting checked and I really believe because I never smoked I am hoping I have a better chance of not getting cancer but then I had all those years of second hand smoke exposure.

I love all the no smoking by-laws preventing smoking in restaurants and public places. Nice coming home after an evening out and my clothes not smelling of smoke the next day. I also banned smoking from my house years before my Mom in but I then let her smoke but only her.

None of my 11 nieces and nephews smoke either. I remember telling my Dad I wished my Mom would stop smoking and he told me it was her only vice and he wasn't going to stop her from enjoying what she liked to do.

I have noticed in the last few years more people smoking than I have seen in the last decade and a lot of them are smoking cigarettes purchased from the Aboriginal Reservations to avoid the higher cost of cigarettes.

Both parents smoked....all 4 of us kids became smokers.
Lost my mom to lung cancer and one sister. I quit shortly after my mom died. My other two siblings still smoke.

Both my kids dabbled for a short period with smoking. Both are dedicated athletes so it did not last for long.

Both DH parents smoked, neither passed away from diseases linked to smoking. DH quit smoking 12 years ago, and I quit 10 years ago. Of the 5 kids in DH family, three smoked, two still do.

My mom smoked in the house and around me when I was growing up. I hated it so much and would ask her to please quit, and if not, to please at least smoke outside but she wouldn't. It disgusted me to the point where I would never, ever smoke, nor do I like to be around people who smoke. My brother never smoked either.

It also embarrassed me, which I think factored in. Kids at school would make fun of me for smelling like an ashtray. When touring colleges, my mom couldn't go long without smoking so we would lag behind the tours while she smoked and everyone would give us dirty looks. This was in the late 90's/early 2000's so smoking wasn't as universally accepted as it was before.

She died of lung cancer in 2008 at 47 years old. I miss her dearly but I'm still a little mad about my damaged lungs.

Attitudes about smoking were very different in my parents' era (I'm a mid-range baby boomer) than now. Back then the dangers were less well known and it was socially acceptable. My parents (both WWII vets) smoked, my brother and I started and quit. None of my kids smoke.

Today, the story is different, the evidence is in and it's unambiguous. Most smokers will die from their habit, at a younger age than if they hadn't smoked, and will suffer from any number of discomforts and diseases beforehand. To me, it's not unlike the thread some days ago about people not using seat belts in a car. Both behaviors have life threatening consequences that are avoidable, both will and do end lives prematurely. Why, then does anyone do it?

For you smokers in the group, it's never too late to quit. It's very hard, I know from my own experience, but most things worth doing are like that. You and your loved ones will benefit from your taking the needed steps.

Someone mentioned "new baby smell". I did smoke for a couple of years until I had my "new baby", and I loved the smell....that was the end of the ciggies. Some of it is in the mind, I think, because I stopped cold turkey. The first couple of days after stopping I literally wanted to eat a cigarette, then, poof...gone...no urge. And that was 45 years ago!

Also, I think people who go "outside" to smoke don't realize it, but the smell and second-hand smoke is embedded into their clothes and comes inside with them. Yuckkkkkkkkk.

Both my parents smoked, and yes, attitudes were so different then. I remember reading in a magazine (Life, I think) the recommendation that pregnant women smoke, because it would relax them.

My mom died when I was 9 (unrelated to smoking), and not long after that my dad had to give up smoking because of his heart. I remember saying to him, "I will never smoke!" But then when I turned 14 I wanted to be the first in my crowd to smoke. It made me sick, but I persevered and got hooked. Smart, huh?

I quit 14 years later, and it was rather brutal. I often recommend this though: I accompanied my DH on a business trip, which took me away from all my smoking places and smoking people. After a horrible week (it's a wonder our marriage survived LOL), I knew I'd never smoke again because I never wanted to go through that week again. But I craved cigarettes for a long time, and even after that went away I dreamed about smoking. I had those dreams for 17 years!

My three kids smoked briefly in their teens despite being raised in a home where smoking was pretty much vilified. I'm just grateful their smoking experiences were brief.

Hard to sort out the rebel factor. My children didn't have a lot of exposure to TV. As adults, one liked it in moderation, one mostly leaves it alone, and one leaves it on all the time. They were brought up eating mostly vegetarian food from our garden and co-op. One stayed a vegetarian, one is an almost-vegetarian with a strong emphasis on organic food, and one is just starting to come around. :-)

>> All through my childhood I always felt sick from my Mom's smoking especially when we went on vacation by car. Windows only cracked and my Aunt, my Mom and my Sister all smoking. No wonder I was car sick all the time. Cherryfizz, we must be related somehow :-)
I usually had the window down with my face sticking out breathing fresh air, and my mother complaining that I was only doing it to annoy her and mess up her hair :-(
When I was a kid taking out the garbage, it always seemed like there were fresh wet lettuce leaves on the top and my Dad would stop me and dump out his ashtray on top of that. It just turned my stomach and to this day over 50 years later it makes my skin crawl to empty an ashtray. I have never smoked, though my younger brother does.
DH's parents both smoked when he was young, then his Dad quit (though the damage was done as he died of lung cancer). His Mum still smoked when we first married but she quit soon after that. DH, his sister and his youngest brother have never smoked, but his other brother smoked when he was a young man sharing a house with us. He wasn't allowed to smoke in the rest of the house so he only smoked in his room (turning the white curtains tan :-P) and the bathroom (where the combined smoke and steam stuck to the walls and stunk up the place, and I'd find the odd butt in the shower drain :-P :-P). That didn't last. Luckily he hasn't smoked in years.
DD has never smoked and few of her friends smoke.
A lot of our customers at work are smokers and I don't think they realise how stinky they are.

I was going to point out the same thing that snidely and alisande did. Not only was it acceptable it was promoted that you were not cool unless you smoked...I have lung cancer and can only blame myself for all the years I smoked and I wasn't a heavy smoker, but I will have to be honest and say if anyone thinks I am kicking myself in the butt, so wrong....back in those days...everyone smoked and you were encouraged to smoke...this is just how bad it was, when you got on an air plane (just one example) they gave you a complimentary pack of cigarettes. Now I wasn't on that plane and never received a sample but was told that they did that....They passed out freebies everywhere...little 4 or 5 packs I cant remember now.... I remember when were 25 cents a pack.... and I bought them at the commissary for $2.00 a carton...

The story is so different today...people who smoke today do so knowing that they are making a choice....with their smoking and their health...they are betting they will win....but the truth is they won't....they might escape cancer..."might" but emphysema and copd is just as bad or even worse and they won't escape that..I have 1 and 1/3 lung and the one full lung has a cancer in it so all of you who say, I can't quit ...I say ...you dont want to quit...anyone can quit...and you better start thinking about it now..

I think it is outside influences that cause people to smoke. My daughter used to fuss every time I lite a cigarette and she didn't smoke for many years but at some point she started smoking but the minute she got pregnant she quit. In my day smoking or having a cocktail was perfect;y fine...but she quit cold turkey....so if a person wants to quit they certainly can...and now there is plenty of help out there ...

This post was edited by ruthieg__tx on Sun, Jan 25, 15 at 12:08

I am the eldest of 4 children.
Neither of my parents smoked.
Only 1 grandfather smoked - cigars.

Yet, 3 out of the 4 of us smoked...and 2 still do.

I think the desire to smoke, as a teen, comes from friends - not family.

Don't think the tobacco industry has given up yet! No, the military doesn't hand out cigarettes to soldiers any more, like they did during WWII, and TV ads are no more, but(t) the industry is still trying to hook people, especially young ones.

I can usually spot tobacco addicts by the unhealthy pallor of their skin. A sniff will confirm it.

Neither of my grandparents smoked, nor most of my Aunts and Uncles, nor my parents nor my brother or me. DH grandparents--no, father, pipe, mom no, non of the brothers or sister. Out of grandkids, only one smokes and hopefully non of the ggk want to even try when they get old enough. DH smoked off and on until early 30's then quit. Did have cancer

My father was the smoker in our home. My mom nor my 4 sisters have every smoked. Today its still that way our husbands do not smoke. I have one son that is a smoker off and on. One daughter in law that smokes outdoors. Never in the house. My husband has 2 brothers both who smoked one has since stopped and I know that one sil does smoke That family are heavy smokers, their 3 adult girls do not smoke. The smokers house stinks. Do they notice it I wondered. I guess not. Everything in that house smells like cigarettes.
Mary

I never smoked in the house even when we lived in MA in the dead of winter I smoked on the deck but I thought it really strange that when we were house hunting one place we stopped both the man and the woman were in the kitchen smoking.....not a good way to sell your home ...that was 10 years ago now but even then smoking was taboo ...

As a child, both my parents smoked in the house constantly. I remember the room where they did most of their smoking looking foggy due to the haze of cigarette smoke. They both passed away from lung disease. My brother and I never smoked

My dad's parents both smoked, my mothers cousin a chain smoker and both her parents both smoked, she never had children.

My dad I was told did smoke but quit and my mother said she did in nursing school but hated it and the cigarettes went stall she said.

My brother and I both don't smoke and his wife who is one of seven siblings and her parents both smoked and she doesn't and neither does any of their two sons smoke.

kathy

Disclaimer: I have absolutely no reference sources to quote.
My gut reaction is that, statistically, more children of smokers smoke and more children of non-smokers never take up the habit. Like other habits, beliefs, and choices, I think most people follow what they know, what they've been taught, and what they're comfortable with from childhood in this regard. Again, no sources, just speculation.

I rarely see smokers any more? I know a lot of people who have quit too, my mom, my sister, my dad, coworkers, etc. I'm glad!!! Both of my parents were chain smokers when we were little. Sister smoked, but her kids don't. My brother and I don't. I don't think my adopted siblings smoke? But... my dad isn't an alcoholic and I'm not. My mother is an alcoholic, and so are my brother and sister. All three of them recovering addicts, not practicing. One just can't tell about those genes and environments. I can't explain the smoking or the drinking part since it is hit or miss and both directions, abstaining and partaking.

Both my parents were smokers. Dad quit in his 40's but died at 75 of liver disease, cirrhosis. I always add "He wasn't a drinker" as if people will think alcohol contributed. Anyhow, all 4 of their children are non-smokers. One of my 2 daughters is a smoker. but she does it very discretely and rarely, such as when at a bar with friends. She once bought some nicotine patches and tried to quit but it didn't work for her. I wonder if I somehow passed a genetic tendency to smoke to her.

I too have a "gut reaction" idea about smoking & drinking;
it seems to me that there's a kind of vulnerability to addiction that may be genetic, & that it's a throw of the dice as to whether you'll get the "bug" or not.

My father smoked & drank, & my mother did neither.

Both my brothers smoke & drink, & I drink wine when I'm out with others who are drinking it, but I don't drink it at home, & I never have smoked.

We all grew up in the same smokey/drinky house & were taken to the same smokey/drinky VFW with my parents (when we were maybe 6 & older; before that, we stayed with grandparents or aunts when my parents went there on date nights).

Also, not only did the tobacco industry use WWII to hook a whole generation of men on cigarettes, but the very fact of having gone through war had a tremendous impact on those men.

My father was a WWII vet who was in some of the worst fighting, at Anzio & in North Africa, & I always think that that had a lot to do with his addictions.

edited to add a couple of PSs (psesses?)

ps #1:
I too feel like I smoked for the first 30 years of my life;
my father smoked heavily, I married someone who smoked heavily, & when that marriage ended, danged if I didn't go out & find a boyfriend who was the most cigarette-addicted person I ever met!
He was also addicted to valium, which resonates with the idea that a predisposition to addiction may be involved.

ps #2:
The babies that never smelled like babies because they smelled like cigarettes breaks my heart.

This post was edited by sylviatexas on Mon, Jan 26, 15 at 11:39

My Mom grew up with a father who drank and was a mean drunk. Grandpa was okay drinking beer but having liquor in the house was not a good thing. Sometimes a visitor would stop by with a bottle of liquor and someone would try to intervene and hide it before my grandfather saw it. My parents never had booze or wine in the house except when they had their yearly navy vets party.

None of us in my family are big drinkers. Social drinking or wine with dinner. Myself, I usually have an adverse reaction to whatever is in alcohol and I either break out in hives or my face gets so red it is painful and there are only certain things I can drink that I know won't cause me pain. I usually have a few bottles of wine in the house that people give me but it rarely gets drunk by me. If I have someone visiting they drink it and the rest I may use in cooking.

My Grandfather served in WW1 and he saw some terrible things, his best friend got blown up in front of him and we know what he saw during the war is the reason he drank and he would tell us that. Just before he died my grandpa was remorseful for the way he had been.

Like cigarettes, drinking was acceptable at one time. I can't understand the enjoyment of pulling smoke into your mouth down into your lungs and I can't understand drinking so much that you are hung over and sick the next day. I lived with a girl and her boyfriend when I lived out West they drank every night until they were hugging the toilet bowl, When I turned 18 (our drinking age at the time) I can remember getting so sick and hugging the toilet bowl and hung over the next day because someone spiked my beer with rye whiskey and another friend instead of putting one shot of vodka into orange juice put 4 shots. Why anyone would want to feel that way or get sick is something I don't understand but that is what addiction does. I have an addiction but not to alcohol, cigarettes or drugs. I am trying to wean myself off of sweets, candy, cookies, etc. I can go for a few weeks without anything sweet but it doesn't last.

So in my family seeing what smoking and drinking did was a deterrent.

My sister and my Dad smoked. My dad died in an accident at 50. My sis still smokes, started at 16 and she is 81 and has no sign of a problem. But she is an addict , cig, booze and coffee. She has been an alcoholic for 40 years, she does not drink if she knows she is going somewhere. She went through DTs I think is what it's call, withdrawal from booze in the hospital. My other to siblings have never smoked. I tried cigs and hated taste. I never hung with kids who did, but that would not have mattered, my thoughts at the time was they were nasty.

I'm the OP, thank you all for your responses. It seems that the families I know (where smoker parents have non-smoker children and vice versa) are just coincidental, as it appears that many of you know examples where smokers' children also smoked and non smoker parents had non smoking children. So I guess it's really luck of the draw. DH and I did everything possible to raise non smoking children, yet two out of three of our kids did become smokers. I'm grateful they both eventually quit, however, as I've seen my sister struggle to do so for over 40 years.

My parents both smoked. I never did but my brother did and does again.
My children grew up in a non smoking home and do not smoke as adults.

When my father died of lung cancer, my mother and brother quit and years later started smoking again. It blows my mind!

It's interesting to me how many of you seem to speak as if "drinking" and "alcohol" are evil words/evil habits. Drinking and drunk don't always go together.

It's possible to drink moderately and responsibly, that's what I think I do. I'd suggest that if you've known individuals who drank to excess or who had trouble functioning in their lives because of habitually drinking too much and too often, they were irresponsible drinkers or maybe even alcoholics. Not just "drinkers".

The thread started with the subject of cigarette tobacco, which is an addictive substance;
yet no one drew a distinction between the terms "smoking" & "nicotine addiction".

Surely an observant person would grasp that the same sort of interchangeable language applies to the comments about drinking.

I think most of us know the difference between "drinkers" and alcoholics. I was comparing it to smoking - just because your parents were smokers doesn't mean the child will be, Same for alcohol or drug abuse,

no snidely, I was making an addiction connection. I am a drinker, but not a smoker, and not addicted to either. My mom, dad, and sister, were all addicted smokers. My brother didn't smoke, but was addcited to liquor. My dad isn't addicted to liquor. Hit or miss in the addiction category. Never said it was evil? Or even wrong. It affected their lives and they quit.

"I was comparing it to smoking - just because your parents were smokers doesn't mean the child will be, Same for alcohol or drug abuse,"

It's actually not the same for alcohol. Alcoholism is believed to have an inheritable component. It does run in families, but of course behavioral things like abusive or antisocial behavior do too. With these and similar problems, kids continue the example their parents set (without a medical connection).

On reread, I may have misread the tone of some (but not all) of the comments

Sylvia, keep trying.

All addiction is thought to have a genetic component. It is the same from alcohol to nicotine to gambling. An intro can give you an idea...

"considerable portion of variation in liability (Falconer 1965) to substance use disorders (SUD; addictions) is nonspecific to particular drugs (Tsuang et al. 1998; Kendler et al. 2003a). As shown in twin studies, the general (common) liability mechanisms are shared at the genetic level with antisociality/externalizing behavior (Krueger et al. 2002; Kendler et al. 2003b). As those studies estimate, this general addiction liability is significantly heritable."

Genetic Relationship Between the Addiction Diagnosis in Adults and Their Childhood Measure of Addiction Liability, Behavior Genetics, by

Michael Vanyukov1, 2, 3 , Kevin Kim4, Daniel Irons5, Levent Kirisci1, 2, Michael Neale6, Ty Ridenour1, Brian Hicks7, Ralph Tarter1, 2, Maureen Reynolds1, Galina Kirillova1, Matt McGue5 and William Iacono5

(1)Department of Pharmaceutical Sciences, University of Pittsburgh, 3520 Forbes Ave. Suite 203, Pittsburgh, PA 15213, USA

(2)Department of Psychiatry, University of Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, PA, USA

(3)Department of Human Genetics, University of Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, PA, USA

(4)Department of Psychology in Education, University of Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, PA, USA

(5)Department of Psychology, University of Minnesota, Minneapolis, MN, USA

(6)Department of Psychiatry, Virginia Commonwealth University, Richmond, VA, USA

(7)Department of Psychiatry, University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, MI, USA

Thanks Rob. I'd remembered that some have a metabolic (chemical) vulnerability (because I knew someone who had that) but I see these cites at overview are saying that the behavioral predisposition is the thing for addictive conduct.

For some. But I don't see that as an excuse. I know that others can fall into the dark holes of addictive behavior on their own, without having a family history.

(edit for second paragraph)

This post was edited by snidely on Tue, Jan 27, 15 at 14:50

I don't think anyone is saying it's an excuse :)

I know i can't figure out why my family members are addicted to one thing, but not the next? Even in addicted individuals and all of us in the same environs. I don't think it's 100% environoment or 100% genetics. Heck, it doesn't even look like 50/50 in my household! Why be addicted to liquor, but not cigarettes (bro), or addicted to cigarettes, but not liquor (dad)? It's all still a mystery! It's all still fairly unclear, it seems.