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dedtired

Elderly mom no longer driving

dedtired
9 years ago

2015 is not shaping up to be a good year. My very elderly (and very independent) mother had a bad accident in the grocery store parking lot. It is only by the grace of God that no one was hurt. It was the typical story -- she was backing out of a space and hit the gas instead of the brakes. She wiped out several cars and totaled her own.

Of course her driving days are now over and I am her chauffeur. I am happy to do it up to a point, but I have a life, too. I drive her to her volunteer job two days a week, the hairdresser one day and the grocery store, plus various doctor's appointments.

She still lives in a big house that is far from anything, not that I would want her walking or carrying anything.

My son is helpful and a couple friends have offered to drive her to volunteer. She won't accept help from the friends, except once in awhile.

The hairdresser is the worst since she is only there an hour. Not enough time for me to go do anything else, plus it is not close to anything.

She is going to have to take cabs or use some of the elderly transportation services on the community.

I feel very bad if I tell her I can't drive when I am doing something like shopping or visiting friends. That doesn't happen often, but I wonder just how much of my own life is fair to put on hold to help her. I feel so guilty if I am not there for her. My son and I are the only family nearby. I'm not getting any younger either and want to take advantage of the good years I have left to travel, etc.

BTW, she is 97.

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