But I have a question here:

Am I nuts because I don't go through this?

I think one of the biggest differences between you and others as you are describing it is two-fold. One, you ARE in charge, in control, in complete control , because YOU are doing it. Yes, there are many, many, DIY-ers on here. This is not to take anything away from them at all-they (and you) are awesome and I bow down to you guys because I am so NOT a DYI-er of that ilk. But you just have to deal with YOU. And (two), you are coming from a place where it sounds like you were NOT in very much control of your life for awhile. So it's freeing (and also really hard) to be.

I don't know if that makes any sense at all. Just my two cents.
Lee

My biggest headaches have been working with local craftsmen and workers waiting on flooring, countertops, cabinets, etc. They all work normal jobs and do the craft jobs as extra income, but we went with those that we trusted and were known for their work, not for their quick turn around times. It just meant waiting for other things while we were waiting for those things. And driving to get things that I need 45 minutes or more away because the local hardware stores don't carry what I need. Wasted a lot of gas and a lot of time there.

I still don't have a sink, but I have a drain and a water line that I can use or I can walk 20 steps to the old kitchen to use the old sink. My stuff is spread all over the house, and I can't find my blender, but I'm getting some extra exercise. I figure one day things will be organized again, no big deal. I can live with it the way it is.

By the time I had saved the money and dealt with spousal resistance to the idea of a new kitchen I didn't have a lot of indecision per se; I knew VERY well what I wanted. I did have to do a great deal of intensive decision making, face unexpected factors that often created added expense, and have lots of interaction with tradesmen doing various technical work. People who go the DIY route face stressful levels of not only physical but mental labor, often much longer time frames of having their homes disrupted and can also experience the need to spend more than expected or budgeted.

Then too, as I mentioned for my situation, many (most?) people remodeling a kitchen have other people to consider. Not only spouses but children of whatever age, perhaps extended family members living there etc. All of that can definitely be crazy making.

A person in your situation-living alone and not actively working on the kitchen-probably isn't exposed or susceptible to the same craziness of course.

Enjoy the peace and quiet! Eventually you will get to the actual remodeling and it will probably be a little more exciting.

DIY experience, in itself, is not THE explanation. Self confidence and being able to keep balanced no doubt are a big part of it, and DIYers are going to be above average in both. We not bring very different life experiences here, though, we are are all types of people. Some are naturally stable, others also get to develop more balance, or wisdom, the hard way. Some haven't had that opportunity.

Feeling out of control is a guaranteed stress builder. Maybe before starting any remodel, some might benefit greatly from taking an assertiveness class that teaches one how to shout "NO!" and mean it. What regrets I had from building my house mostly arose from not saying "No! Thank you for your advice/concern/speed, but please redo it the way I wanted."

That I was sometimes able to walk away with little regret, unwilling to pay to redo, came from the perspective that age and experience give. I never expected it go all go my way.

Way often the initial standard seems to be set unrealistically, a person too personally invested in a typically undefined perfection. So many are disappointed and let down afterward when the fine kitchen they've achieved is compared to that vague, still-undefined perfection. It all may sometimes even end up seeming a little...unseemly.

Then there's money, of course. Spending too much of it or the right amount. Stress or serenity. Good sense or foolishness.

Whether a TKOer is placid or easily stressed, untried or a tough old bag, managing to keep the kitchen in proper perspective is going to be key to handling it all well.

Am I nuts because I don't go through this?
I don't suffer from indecision. It might take me a bit to find my Ah HA moment, but once I have that, no more questions other than how to make it work.

I, on the other hand, have been plagued by indecision all my life. From the time I had a nickel to spend on candy... Do I get the Slo Poke or the Brown Cow, to my current granite quandary. Both due to the fact that I had/have limited funds and will have to live with my decision for awhile before having the funds to do anything different.

I make some decisions easily and almost without thinking. The hard ones are the ones that I really feel I don't have enough knowledge about.

However, my GC knew exactly what I wanted, he knew who was in charge because I made it clear that it was my money, my reno, my way. I had done my research but all the choices for my entire house was on a sample board and trying to see that in real life was daunting. So yea, wine and sleepless nights and agonizing over choices and making changes mid-reno were my life for over a year.

For me, this was a once in a lifetime project and I don't have the money to redo it if I screw it up nor do I have the knowledge or talent to fix my screw ups myself.

I envy those that do.

We're having a house custom built using a GC, and we have to stay on schedule and within budget. We don't have the luxury of letting things percolate until we find exactly what we want at a price that's in budget or saving our money to get what we want. Plus, it's a big financial investment that people don't want to get wrong. All that makes for a big basket of stress. Our DIY projects haven't been nearly as stressful because they really are a different beast.

I won't say it made me crazy, but I was more stressed than usual and would come unglued over any little hitch. I'm happy to say that it's over and I feel restored to reasonably good mental health.

I'm not a DIYer and have a limited budget, so yeah, I was dependent on the workers who traipsed through my house, played their boom boxes and left the toilet seat up. I don't mind spending my money, but I hate being taken advantage of.

I live alone. It's a curse and a blessing. I didn't have anyone bleating that they wanted stained wood cabs while I wanted them painted white. I got to make all the decisions. The downside, is I had to make all the decisions. No one said, do you really want THAT tile? Maybe you want to sleep on it. Nobody ran interference for me when I was too angry or clueless to have a rational discussion with my GC.

Moreover, it's my impression that CEFreeman is a glorious, unique-osity. I am not in the least surprised to learn your reaction, Christine, is perhaps a little off the norm, to the extent that we any of us have any vague accuracy in our efforts at characterizing that.

Plus, there is such a thing as artistic license. I, for example, know precisely where I left my mind, I think.

Marti8a, I laughed out loud. I could see a little one standing by the candy counter frozen, because there were too many choices. That I get! :)

I see the overwhelming answer though is being a DIYer.

A few clarifications:
I am not a DIYer by choice. Were I to choose? It would be a resounding "NONONONONONO"
I have had to teach myself everything I've been doing.
I'm still learning, God knows.
Yes, I've been working and installing all these cabinet parts I've been picking up. My kitchen is functional and that feels like Christmas. We won't discuss the bathrooms yet.
I am not remodeling, I am rebuilding.
Taking it slow is also not an option or choice, it's just money and the learning curve.
Because I'm learning, I think, I'm not afraid to rip something out. I know I've gotta put it back though!

Oldbat2b, thanks for the thumbs up.
I only had a microwave. I had to clean the mouse poop out of it to use it, but that's what the bucket of water from the neighbor's was for. Stinky, stinky!

Funny, though. Odd, I should say. When I thought we were working together to get thru STBX' depression, illnesses and exhaustion to work on the house, I was patient and didn't care. With it being only me, I am driven to get dreams underway. I do suffer the occasional inertia I've discussed before, but the big spurts of energy accomplish huge amounts. I work so much because it's an immediate difference in my home. And again, it's for me.

Me! Me! me! It's all about MEMEMEMEMEME

Thanks all. :) I love to hear what you think.

It usually is when one throws humanity into the mix that things become, well, complicated.

Yes. Simple.

If I were worried about a towel, I would know deep in my soul, that I were in the deepest throes of some kind of avoidance and denial. For God's sake. If you wonder, put it away. Burn it. Use it for dusting. ANYTHING!, but wasting life worrying about how it's viewed.

I just LIKE to play. Cards, chess, building cabinets, cooking a meal.

Now cleaning house routinely, dusting, cleaning toilets--stuff that just takes things back to boring clean and tidy status quo and doesn't make a change--I can whine and play poor pitiful Pearl about that!!

Maybe I just like an excuse to have a messy house.

Sandra

"Way often the initial standard seems to be set unrealistically, a person too personally invested in a typically undefined perfection. So many are disappointed and let down afterward when the fine kitchen they've achieved is compared to that vague, still-undefined perfection."

I learned decision-making early as a process of defining the important requirements and limiting factors, then selecting what would satisfy them.

If you can't define it well enough to put it on paper for someone else to understand, you haven't really figured out what you want. You are still in the daydreaming stage.

Also, I'm not into perfectionism, I'm into satisficing.

"I can do anything I darn well like, at my own slow pace, with my own imagination, my own cash money, learning from my own ignorance, and not worrying someone might disapprove, be mad or worse, just not care again. Talk about Paradise! (with plumbing, I might add)."

AND THIS:
"Me! Me! me! It's all about MEMEMEMEMEME"

Love hearing it voiced!

You rock, sista!

Decisions? Upfront? No need when nothing gets done. And you guys worry about nothing happening for a week. [snort] Why would I bother doing that, Marcolo? Even my granite company let me pay them "layaway", as did my zillion dollar gutter company. You never know until you ask. Negates the need for a big check.

You've all made me laugh, though. I doubt many here (EATREALFOOD!) have worried about those towels, but I have read about things like that on the decorating boards!

This week I'm doing nuttin'. Well, working on some paperwork, but not a lot. Wouldn't you know it's gorgeous out and I could be out hacking down trees and ornamental grasses?

In the meanwhile,

I am not one to type out every q that pops into my head, and it is not because I am so decisive, but I don't want that many answers, plus I am a stubborn German girl, and want to do it MY way!!

So,I did, and I thank everyone for the help!!

Good question, Christine!

Nancy