I feel your pain! We are spending more than we intended and I also wonder sometimes if it is too much to pay considering all the compromises we have had to make... It's unreal how much even a small kitchen can end up costing!

The cabinets are the main expensive thing to do when you have a chunk of money to spend. Perhaps you could consider doing your kitchen in stages -- maybe JUST get the cabinets you want, and go with an inexpensive butcher block IKEA counter top for now? You could replace it with a high-end countertop later, as well as add new appliances as you can afford it.

Best wishes...

I'm so sorry! I know how this must hurt. Here comes a great big (((((((e-hug))))))).

Now here's a hard question. Who's kitchen is it? I know the house belongs to the both of you, but who's the main cook? If the kitchen is primarily, let's say 80%, used by you than why does he get final say on aesthetics like paint or functionality like a new layout? If the garage is primarily used by him, do you get final say on tool purchases and decor?

There have been a ton of really low-cost makeovers posted. Try showing him some of the really low-cost $7500 and less makeovers on the $20,000 makeover thread.

I would rethink ikea. there are gorgeous kitchens done with ikea, durable, elegant, modern, extremely practical.

use prefab granite for counters.

shop for everything else on ebay.

There are amazing budget minded remodels on ikeafans that look and work well.

craigslist has amazing deals these days.

I'm so sorry for your frustration. I know it probably won't do anything to change your husband's mind but I just have to say that we are so happy with our IKEA cabs, which we've been using for almost a year. Even my maintenance-phobic husband is happy and he had the same response to the particle board initially. Our cabinets have actually held up better than some beautiful cherry KraftMaid cabinets (with plywood boxes) that a friend installed a few years ago. They had trouble within the first year with some of their hinges and now have doors that droop (and can't be adjusted) and one even with the hinge pulling out of the wood and the door falling off. Check out Consumer Reports, which gives IKEA high marks. We saved about $6,000 using IKEA over KM and are more than pleased with the decision.

You made a wise choice...do not feel bad. Too many overextend themselves, and are feeling worse pain than you for not doing it. Many have sold away their kids education, lost their homes, are in debt, ruined their marriages due to financial stress...all to have the latest and greatest renovations. You are very very smart to know your finances and stop. If more people thought your way, the country would not be in this mess.

In addition, too many contractors are demanding excessive prices still. Give it some time, they will at some point need to put food on their table and become more competitive. In my area, they still do not return phone calls, are arrogant, overcharging, using "slave" labor, etc. Their time will come.

I urge you to consider checking out craigslist. I live in So. Fl. (OK... about as South as you can get but in reality NY with palm trees)... I regularly see people selling their almost new solid wood kitchens for around $2500. If you can get a little creative, you can find ways to make the cabs fit your space. Sure... it'll take some tweaking... maybe even have some pieces that give it a furniture feel (island or baking counter) but I promise you it can be done.

I'm so sorry you are bummed and I know just what you mean. We had major sticker shock when we received the first estimates for our kitchen. The prices of things are just crazy. We waited and saved money. In the mean time, we did the things we could ourselves (Maybe you can tackle the ceiling? Messy, yes, but in the end, rewarding!? We tore out our ceiling and replaced it a good year before the remodel). Waiting also gives you time to think and plan more. That way you can make smarter decisions, both about functionality and finances.

My DH who works in a furniture and interior design business says that the KDs in his firm say the MDF board is fine! Also, you can continue to gently pursue the painted cabs subject with your DH, they do come around sometimes, especially when the alternatives are all bad!

For today, bake something yummy, have a glass of wine and don't give up dreaming... everybody here feels a post remodel low, when the remodel is finally over anyway... dreaming is good!

I was very close to posting a similar thread. I too have had some budget problems but I am hoping I can still finish it. I am aiming for $20K but we have structural changes and flooring to do and they are eating up the budget. I have already downgraded my countertops to laminate and the range and hood are probably next. I decided that taking care of the wall, the flooring and the new floor plan are the most important. The granite, backsplash and lighting can wait.

Maybe it is just time for a little break. I hate for you to totally give up. I also have a DH that said no to painted, no to IKEA, no to opening up the kitchen to the family room. The other day we were looking at a very nice kitchen and my husband said "You know I don't like stained cabinets". I just about fell over but I did not say one word. Maybe your DH just needs a little more time and a few more inspriration photos.
I urge you to look at IKEA. I never, every thought I would even consider it but I am so excited about it now. The great thing is that you could always swap out the doors for a whole new look. I am going the custom door route because I could not find exactly what I wanted. I am also doing the painting myself and I think I can do the cabinets for 4K or less.

I wish you the best of luck on your project whenever it happens.

Oh don't despair. You are wise to be pracitcal. Having a
kitchen to use is more important than going homeless to
make a kitchen. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that
Want is different that Need. If more people did this there
would be little debt in the world.

Be practical and do things in small ways. Even if it means
just painting over old laminate counters. And there are
simple things you can do to make your current kitchen
lovely. You are not alone in this kitchen wish journey.
These ideas will not give you your dream kitchen but just
maybe they can cheer you up. More creative ways to
think outside the box.

Sending positive thoughts your way.
~boxerpups

Great ideas.
http://www.diyideas.com/quickprojects/WallsFloors/paintedwall_ss1.html

craftster.com
DIYnetwork.com

Paint can do wonders. Paint can be used on floors, counters, cabinets, backsplashes, almost every place. It takes time, a good primer and a good quality paint for the
project and you can even paint applainces.

Here are some lovely ideas that cost the price of a can
of paint.

This floor was painted.
{{!gwi}}

This countertop was painted to look like granite
Ehow.com
{{!gwi}}

{{!gwi}}

muralsandfauxpainting
{{!gwi}}

Spruce up and old backsplash lulupainting.com
{{!gwi}}

JBConstruction did a creative kitchen here.
{{!gwi}}

I love this painted backsplash a DIY project
{{!gwi}}

Can't afford to refinish paint the floros.

DIY painted cabinets

{{!gwi}}

{{!gwi}}

I respectfully disagree with parkplaza. If you really really dislike your kitchen as it is, and there are viable alternatives, you owe it to yourself and your family to pursue all the options. After all, as John Lennon said, life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans, right? I wish I had considered that when we began our still-ongoing reno 10 years ago.

I too had high expectations (no particle-board or laminate or fill-in-the-blank for me!). Nothing less than solid wood or plywood boxes, inset, painted doors with all the bells and whistles. And I spent 10 years living in daily chaos trying to achieve some perfection that I wanted but secretly knew I could not afford. In retrospect, I now desperately wish I had lowered my (then) standards and just started off with the affordable IKEA kitchen that I now have. Instead of wasting so many years of our lives in a torn-up kitchen that I hated. All that time we could have been living like a normal family with a new, really nice and functional kitchen. Instead of spending every weekend working on the house, dreaming of the "future perfect someday" kitchen, I could have spent more time with my daughter, had friends over, had parties, etc.

What is the most expensive item in your current reno budget? Is it the contractor/labor? The appliances? Or is it the cabinets?

Has your DH actually seen IKEA cabs? The cabinets aren't like their furniture. They are not the same poor quality as big box store particle-board cabs. You are also not tied to their stock sizes or their door selections. Doors can be inexpensively custom made. Cabs can be modified.

My very rich, socially-elite friend lives in a multi-million $ mansion, and guess what? She has an IKEA kitchen. She entertains her DH's Wall Street colleagues in that kitchen regularly.

All I'm saying is don't discount IKEA so quickly if what you really want is a new, pretty, functional kitchen on a budget. It can be and has been done. For far less than $20,000.

I understand your frustration. I've been there too. Step back, take a deep breath and reassess. In the long run, you may regret waiting for perfection much more than your DH regrets "settling" for particle-board.

Thanks for the cyber hugs, everyone, and the great ideas of things we can do one thing at a time.
We have always believed in buying under what we can afford. If one of us lost our job, we could still pay the house note - and we pay more per month than necessary. We don't even take vacations, and my husband does part time work doing football and basketball officiating.

I was going to use some inheritance $ from whenever my Mom's house sells for the kitchen. But, not only are the kitchen things just too expensive, so are all the other bad things happening.
In two short months, my old car I gave DD, a 2001 very safe Taurus, has needed a new motor (we put a 52K used one in) - then the AC went out, and now I have an estimate to rebuild the tranny for $2651.00. When it's all said and done, the doggone car will have been rebuilt. But, that's still cheaper than buying a new one.

So, I guess I'm thinking what's next? After the hurricanes of recent, it makes one paranoid.

It took me a while before I hit the post button, and so many more responses had come through! Thank you all so much for the support.
Odiegirl13 and mandylee, I wish you better luck than I've had - but it does make me feel better to know others are going through the same thing.
boxerpups - you are always such an inspiration with all the links, pics, and ideas -- and soothing words!
jenswrens - thanks for sharing your story, and words of wisdom.
DH can be very staid and doesn't like change much at all.
We don't live anywhere near an IKEA. The nearest one is about 5 hours away!
sw in austin, I have a subscription online to consumer reports, but everytime I try to bring up the cabinet report, I just get this generic cabinet info, not the actual ratings.
laxsupermom -- yeah I'm the one who is mainly in the kitchen. DH can't so much as boil an egg. Pointing out to him that this is my main work space in the house, how much time I have to spend in there because he won't cook, and also won't help with the dishes is what made him come on board with this. At first he was saying NO WAY to any part of kitchen reno. At least I did finally get him on board.
kimkitchy, thanks for such kind and happy words!
remodelinfla, and pharaoh, I wish more people around here did use craigslist! When I go on there I never find neat stuff!

3 cheers for the poster. Too many get riddled with over extending themselves. It is good you know your budget and can say NO. Jensrens is just problem...oh yes, we all owe it to ourselves. Just charge it, someone else will pay our debt when we fall. It is good you did not get caught up in the hipe. I agree, be patient, appreciate what you have, and when things turn around or change, make a move. Most young people have no patience..it is just about ME.

Southernstitcher, you're depressed and Ikea's 5 hours away, so go splurge on a new tissue holder for the powder room or some such thing.

When you get perked back up and start musing again about what you'd like to do with your kitchen, though, the Ikea website is 5 seconds away. Go play with their layout program. Run up price lists for various layouts and styles of doors (we paid less than $150 for a kitchen full of their bottom-line doors with the intention of replacing them with good custom (not gotten in the mood yet). For answers to questions and inspiring possibilities, go to ikeafans.com.

Then, if you're intrigued, plan a nice weekend away with sightseeing at Ikea on your itinerary. For a new kitchen with a potential $25K in savings, you probably can afford the time and gas. All that's required is the mood.

Have you checked out Habitat For Humanity's Restore in your area? I donated a large kitchen full of Bookhaven cabinets to them. I know others who have done the same. Fortunately for me, our kitchen remodel was finished before the recession hit!

I think Rosie is on the right track Southernstitcher.

It might take a little more selling of your DH...but in the end, I think it will be worth it.

If you haven't already done so, cruise by the finished kitchens blog and look at the ikea kitchens. And of course, there's always the ikeafans site.

Google "high end Ikea kitchens" or a similar term and look at the articles. Explain to your DH that people who could easily pay 10 or 20 times the cost of an Ikea kitchen have consciously made the choice of Ikea. Honestly, Ikea isn't a "cheap out" to me. The only reason I don't have an Ikea kitchen is that mine is oddly shaped and every cab would have to be modified. I have neither the creativity or energy for that.

In short, I wouldn't give up on Ikea OR of the idea of improving your Kitchen. IMO you may just need to regroup and approach the issue from a different angle!

My husband is doing our entire kitchen diy because he would never pay someone to do what he can do himself. He worked in a local hardware store for 15 years and then was a merchant marine engineer so he is pretty handy. We looked at the Ikea cabs and we shocked at how nice they were. They seemed to be so well made and had we found a style we liked we would have used them. Maybe you have a friend who could help with install and such. I hope it works out for you!

I agree that it sounds like you are making the right decision for you and your family RIGHT NOW. But please, don't give up on your dream! Keep collecting kitchen magazines, you can even borrow design books from the library. Draw up a plan that you love and continue to tweak it and look for ideas and inspirations (and bargains!) and someday, hopefully, you can make it happen.

All the best wishes in the world to you! And, although kitchens are great, people are what really matter :)

Agree with your decision. We lived with a 50+ year old kitchen/bath (original) until we had enough saved to build what we really wanted. Never had a guest refuse an invite because the kitchen (and bathroom, etc.) was in poor shape.

Ebses' last line sums it up well...

We have a small lake house that we plan on retiring to - but that is several years away. We did a kitchen renovation for very little:

We bought a 16' trailer load of solid wood cabinets for $250 on craigslist & it was tricky getting them to fit + they are not the most modern, fabulous cabinets out there -- but tons better than what was there. They were light oak & we painted them.

We bought close-out tile from Lowe's @ 4 cents apiece. Not our dream tile but, again, better than what was there & only around $1 per BOX. We bought all they had and used it as the back splash, fireplace hearth & for the shower surround & floor in the bathroom.

If you're close to a big city, check craigslist for appliances. For very reasonable prices you can find really nice things. We got a practically new fridge & dishwasher for $300/both. They were white & the people selling them wanted SS. I didn't really want white either - but, again they beat what was there.

{{!gwi}}


Since it will be quite a few years before we are there full time, we couldn't see spending much on the reno. Our tastes & what's popular will change - maybe we'll re-do it when move there...maybe not. We decided going in that we did not have to have the best....just better!

I'm glad posting here has helped you so much. If you keep working with your ideas, you will find a way to get at least some of your kitchen updates.

When you get your car issues taken care of, take another look at what you can get done on your own. If you can coordinate the work yourself, you will save a lot of money. There is a lot of experience on this forum so you will have plenty of help when questions come up.

Try Craigslist for discounts on new cabinets. Some cities have a lot of competition going on between cabinet companies now.

Yeah I think this is a good pause for me. I'm going to take another look.
I'll need to get more contractor bids, and then try to talk DH into IKea. If we can ever get to Houston there is one there.
The one contractor we bid with was a local that lots of people I know recommended. He's big in the area builders assoc. They all RAVED about him, but you get what you pay for, right? He is very, very high I think. I just have been so burned in the past that I was thinking it'd be best to go with the best, no matter how expensive.
Now, I'm rethinking that! Maybe get a couple more bids. I did get some names from Angie's list, but never called them I was so impressed with this guys demeanor, if not his price!

guvnah I think your kitchen looks great!

southernstitcher,
You didn't say what your budget was but I think you can do a lot in a small kitchen for a lot less than $30,000 if you shop around and be your own contractor. I'm 64 and that is what I'm doing! Never done this before either but was determined to have a remodeled kitchen before I die.
It's taking a lot longer than I wanted but hey to save money this is what we had to do. I hired all my help off of Craigslist except my plumber. I sold my old cabinets and appliances on Craigslist.
I have a good size kitchen (21) cabinets. I moved the gas line and added 220 for the new double ovens. Complete tear out except any walls. Added a pony wall. Looking at around $33,000 not including flooring. Bought a lot of items on eBay and other online stores including all my new stainless steel appliances (saved a lot tax). Grohe Lady Lux Faucet.
My cabinets and sink removed May 9 and we are still about a month away from being done except for flooring.
Learned a lot from this board too.....

guvnah....the new cabinets are beautiful!

southernstitcher, I wanted to suggest one other cabinet option that you could consider. We are doing a very small-scale remodel of our kitchen, more of a refresher than a remodel since the layout will not change, and we are using ready-to-assemble cabinets.

I can't vouch for the quality or the installation experience or anything other than the customer service of the company so far. My cabinets are being delivered in the next 3 hours...which is why I'm online, trying to calm the rumbles of nerves in the pit of my stomach. :)

Our kitchen redo was prompted by the discovery of a very slow water leak that destroyed one of our lower cabinets. I had been wanting new laminate counters for quite some time. DH started ranting about our builder-grade particle board cabinets...I looked online and found info about RTA cabs with plywood construction...we talked about how we could tweak the cabinets within the layout to have *better* storage than we have now...we looked at some extra $$ we had...we prayed, we discussed, we fretted...and we ordered cabs and counters and bought a new sink on Ebay.

I'm linking to the place where our cabs are coming from. We're getting the Randolph Oak style because it fits the style of our house, sort of retro country. Our countertops are Wilsonart HD in the Bella Venito color; DH will pick those up today if the rain stops pouring down sometime.

DH is going to start installing all this stuff at the end of the month, so you MAY still see me posting and saying "NO! Don't do the RTA!! They are terrible!!" lol I hope not, I really really hope not!

Here is a link that might be useful: Good Value Home Improvement

It is a wise person that lives within their means. Surely you could have taken out a loan and paid on it til Kingdom Come but you probably sleep better at night knowing the bankers don't have you by the tail.

That said, wallpaper removal and popcorn ceiling removal really don't cost much. Start with the smallest of things and start a "kitty" for craigslist appliances. I have never done a whole-hog remodel but consider my home and kitchen to be very nice. It just gets done piecemeal and nothing is on credit. BTW, my hubby retired yesterday in his early 50's and I am in my 40's. I am soooo glad that I don't have loans to pay on.

I agree with all on the popcorn and wallpaper removal, especially since you have decided to DIY what you can.
Those two things alone, will make such a difference.

I am adding a few more pictures for you (these kitchens are both in Paris):

These are painted cabinets (with very inexpensive sisal rope for handles):

{{!gwi}}

These are roller blinds (roller blinds!) with fabric glued to the fronts on the upper cabinets covering up inexpensive shelving:

{{!gwi}}

Just shows what a little creativity can do to transform a space.

Hang in there!

We did consider being our own GC's. Before I go that route though I'll just try some more contractors. Subbing it ourselves, even if we cut back, is a daunting thought.

guvnah, your cabinets are beautiful! I think that even the most "outdated" cabinets can be made nice with paint.

southern: I just walked in the door from City Hall where I applied for a building permit to remodel the kitchen. Tonight I am filling out the plumbing permit since that can be obtained by the homeowner too. I didn't plan to GC this project but it is the only way I can get my budget to the number I need to go ahead. No one else watches our money the way I do! We are a homeschool family and I work part-time in our business so this is my window of opportunity. Don't rule out this route yet.

Sapphirestitch please do update us on those cabinets! I went to their site and mine would be $3400! Wow, what a deal for all wood cabinets. The only thing I'd worry about is the way they are assembled with the cam lock thing.
Rubyfig - if DH weren't so traditional, I'd consider that in a heartbeat, at least for some of the uppers! I think it's totally out of the box thinking and I love the idea.

I only have one quote left to get - these are TruWood cabinets. Their website isn't very impressive, and all we were able to do was look through a box of doors. There were no display cabs on site. But they were all plywood, and the girl tells me she got the quote to be very competitve with the MidContinent quote, which was $7K installed. I am also certain they are coming in under $8.5K, because she knows that was my original budget. But she won't give me the numbers unless we come back in the store!
I have 4 custom quotes, and then I'll get this last one. We'll take one more hard look, and decide what we can/cannot live without. I'll also get quotes from 2 more contractors and see where it all goes.

Southernstitcher, they are in my garage now, but we haven't opened any boxes. I will say that the delivery process was much smoother than I anticipated. The freight company called yesterday to say they would be here this afternoon. My husband came home from work to be here, thinking he would need to help unload the truck. But they had everything neatly shrink-wrapped onto a pallet and the truck driver just wheeled it into the garage. We went through our invoice and the spreadsheet we made before ordering to verify that we'd received everything before he left.

We'll be starting our install the last week of this month, so I'll try to post some pictures and more detailed info then. I imagine my husband will be unable to resist opening the boxes before then, so I might be able to get pics of the cam lock system at that time.

while i don't think you should go into debt etc i do hope you don't give up your dream for a new kitchen. if you need to move things around, pay to have that done and get your cabs in. set up a temp/mini kitchen somewhere - microwave, toaster oven. meals won't be what dh is used to til done - and that's ok. he will live.lol!
I found -back when I was married - and sister says her dh is the same - that men don't like an idea coming from dw - but it's a fine idea when THEY come up with it. often (I found and so does she) that a few wks or so later he suddenly has this GREAT idea - exactly what I/she already brought up! lol! men...

if you have to go with laminate for a few yrs - they have some awesome laminate now. I don't want granite /tile because I drop stuff so much (daily) and the tile also because of my feet/legs/back.

and there's the habitat restore. I'm even gonna go there next fall and look myself - just in case they have something I can use. I know what I want my cabs to look like and if they have them - great!

while your kitchen is torn up for 'rearranging' and cabs - do the ceiling and whatever else you can get done.

I'm not really doing enough i think to hire a gc (tho dbf would be that anyway - as he has done that most of his life) but I do have an electrician I can call (dbff's brother) and plumber (the sub on my sister's house does work on the side). other than that dbf and i (not much help from me tho) will do it with the help of his son (I think) and one of his workmen (maybe). I'm thinking of hiring my neighbor boy (18) to clean it up and paint for me. if he can lay a laminate wood floor, i might pay him to do that...

but depending on what all needs done, maybe you can sub it out? I do think bids from other subs is a good idea. surely another 1 or 2 around there also have a good reputation and you just haven't heard about them - yet.

btw - did you say that engine cost 52K?

I'm so glad you're still getting quotes and trying to make it work within your budget! It was so sad when you first posted I couldn't even think of something comforting to say. People have done some amazing things here, with very little monetary investment and a lot of thought and sticktoitiveness. I really hope you find something that works for you and will give you the functional kitchen you really want and that won't bother your husband's sensibilities.

Desertsteph, no, the replacement engine has 52K miles! It cost like $2K with labor to install, and that included brake work.
Yep, my DH is like that. If it's his idea it's great - but I do think we're all just a bit like that. I try hard to appreciate his ideas. When he was so against this and I converted him, he did admit that he wasn't looking at it from my perspective - that I WORK in there, all the time, and I'm the lone kitchen hand so to say. He was thinking I just wanted a new kitchen for the hell of it, not for the functionality of more counterspace and a better appliance layout.
Yeah, pllog - thanks. I'm going to see what can happen here. If I can come in under $20 K, close to $15K I'll be a happy camper.
I wasn't going to borrow money anyway for it - I was going to use the money from the sale of my Mom's house. She was big on having a functional kitchen. She would approve, as long as what I'm doing is within budget, and for functionality, not just to show off.
She was a rich lady, but had the same kitchen for the last 35 years of her life - formica and roll out vinyl floors. She entertained a LOT for family, and we remember the good times, not the counter top material!
But, she had what she felt was necessary - double ovens, and a fabulous SS sink/backsplash/countertop that was TDF. We still laugh remembering she would always advise the young women in the family to try and have double ovens and a little stainless countertop space around the sink or cooktop if you could because those two things alone had made her kitchen life easier. Those were her only splurges!

I love the way you're going with this. We also saved until we could afford to pay for our (modest for some, expensive for us) kitchen reno. I just wanted to add that we also had a popcorn ceiling in what was the dining room (we tore down a half wall to make one bigger eat-in kitchen), and the contractor opted not to tear it down but rather covered it with several layers of drywall compound, which will now be sanded down and painted. It already looks 90% smooth even before sanding. There are a few reasons to go this route: 1) of course, it costs less; 2) a lot of these popcorn ceilings were made with asbestos, and tearing them out can raise health issues. I see it as kind of like painting over lead paint rather than removing it. If you do decide to tear it out, you might want to have it tested for asbestos first. 3) In our case, the existing ceiling was plaster, not drywall. I already know from experience that tearing out a plaster ceiling is NOT fun.

Anyway, I just wanted to mention that option. So far, the formerly popcorn ceiling looks great and the popcorn cannot be seen at all anymore. I wish you the best of luck with your kitchen!

lizg inmd, I wouldn't tear the whole ceiling out, unless I had to. I'm planning on trying this in our very small MBA. I'll just spray it with water, and scrape it - then have someone who knows what they're doing to skim a new smooth coat on there and I'll come back and paint it.

Now I have heard that sometimes this was done not as much for acoustical effect, but it was cheaper because they didn't have to do as perfect of a job on the ceiling itself. No telling what you'll find once you scrape.

just wanted to say good luck, good luck. I think you are very sensible, but I also think improving the place where you spend most of your time is a good ivestment in your mental health.

Like you I wouldn't want to spend money one something I didn't love anyway, or thought was second- or third-best.

From what we experienced (in the Boston area where everything is sky-high), the most expensive thing hands-down was labor. Appliances, countertops, etc.--there are lots of bargains to be had, and those things can be easily swapped out. But moving walls, plumbing, anything structural, plus finish carpentry--that is the expensive part. It's also the part where you want to spend money first because those things are hard to change. They are the bones of your space.

I hope you get to move forward soon.