Soapstone will show marks from water, oil, food, etc. I think these marks qualify as a "stain", but the stain is usually not permanent.

If you use soapstone without oiling or waxing it, it will show all sorts of wear. Soapstone fans like the look, but if water rings on your counter top drive you crazy, opt for something else.

My soapstone has not shown wear even when unoiled. It does look brighter and has greater contrast when oiled. I have no issues at all.... ever with water rings. Alot depends on the skill level of your fabricator and how they finish your stone.

We have never oiled our soapstone and have never gotten water rings or marks from food etc. Oil marks will show up, but I either let them fade away naturally, or if they bug me for some reason I can clean them off just using Dawn detergent

My understanding is that remodelfla is correct regarding the fabricator. It must be finished to a certain grit, and water rings won't be a problem. It's what I plan for my kitchen.

What grit is necessary to avoid water rings?

What is your plan for your kitchen? Do you want some rustic look? Or is everything going to be precision? Soapstone isn't precision in my book.

The first time I saw soapstone was at a restaurant in Ames, Iowa in 2001. They have had it in since that time. The counter that serves coffee has soapstone, the bar has soapstone as does the bartender's area. The restrooms have a nice large vanity with soapstone and a soapstone sink. It gets full oil treatment I believe. It isn't the soft variety because I can't scratch it with my fingernail, but it's not the very hard variety either. It doesn't have any veining. It is velvety to the touch and not like a glassy granite. I love this velvety feel. I used this as inspiration for my kitchen. I did my counters out of a rather soft variety so that I could cut and shape them myself.

I have since made a soapstone sink out of remnants of a softer soapstone, and have it sanded to a 120 grit at the finest. I am not anal about any of it. My sink is beautiful and I am going to do another sink in a more modern bathroom remodel. This variety will be harder, as I can't scratch it with my finger nail.

In my kitchen, I take meat out of the freezer and put it on the counter and it sucks the cold out and defrost packages pretty fast. I have put hot pans out of the oven on it without worry. I have scratches galore. I don't think too much about it. But I think if I oiled it, they would be camouflaged. if I was concerned about having guest over this is what I would do. I only use olive oil if I need to oil, for this as that is what is on hand :) Never a problem.

Swoon... Some day... Some day soon I hope! I've waited a long time for my soapstone and marble. DH is now retired and the kitchen remodel is top of the list! DH will do most of the work. :-)

I love soapstone but the fabricator and my chem major daughter were both very anti-. The fabricator showed me river-washed and leathered granite, which I liked a lot -- kind of a soapstone look; granite without the Vegas factor! The most expensive was about the same price as soapstone. Just an alternative idea.

We have only oiled once in two years (after install) and prefer our countertops bare. The gray/black color is what we prefer. We have no issues with showing wear or water rings, or any other issues. No dings or chips at all, even around the sink. Some minor scratches that disappear with a quick wipe of oil, which is then faded away. Messes get wiped up with Lysol antibacterial kitchen cleaner...which returns the stone back to original form.

The main consideration is the softness of the stone. We have Belevedere which is EXTREMELY hard...the softer the stone, the more patina you will have.

I love soapstone but the fabricator and my chem major daughter were both very anti-. The fabricator showed me river-washed and leathered granite, which I liked a lot -- kind of a soapstone look; granite without the Vegas factor! The most expensive was about the same price as soapstone. Just an alternative idea.

I had picked the hardest variety I could find locally. I couldn't scratch it w/my fingernail, however after a couple weeks of deliberating I went searching for another batch. The original one, while harder, didn't have the dramatic veins that I love about soapstone and looked almost like concrete with smears on it. The second ones I found was what I was looking for though I could scratch it w/my fingernail. That's what I ended up with, it's relatively soft and has many scratches and marks on it after a few months of use. It also has a lot of spots from fingers, oil spatters, water marks etc. I can remove all of that with some soap and water. If I were to oil/wax it it would be much more uniform in color however I've not done that and I don't think I will. I also have marble in the kitchen, it's has no scratches or 'stains' on it (it's dark green). I wouldn't change anything. Soapstone is a very unique countertop surface, it's warm and soft, has wide spider veins all over it (which help to hide scratches) and looks like nothing else. I'm pretty sure 90% of the people here wouldn't appreciate it but believe for MY kitchen it's the perfect surface. My DW says "I don't worry about the soapstone 'cause I know it's going to get scratched but I try and be careful w/the marble". I don't try to be careful w/any of it though don't cut on it or slam things down on it. I do use a coaster on the marble simply because it's so hard, seems like it would be easy to break something on it. I wipe the soapstone down every night to remove the water spots and some of the oil stains (little ones finger prints) but that's about it. I'm going to let it patina naturally over time w/out oiling, it's slowly getting darker around the BS range or where work gets done (w/dough) and I like the contrast. Everyone who looks at it loves it as it's a pretty dynamic slab, I have it in the utility/laundry room also which is rarely seen. Most people I know aren't familiar with it as a counter top surface but can't help commenting on it's 'feel', nothing else feels like soapstone.
I'm so very glad I gave up my quest for the ultimate hardness in soapstone and rather went with one that had the 'look' I was after. If I get tired of all the scratches some day I can have the whole top refinished and start over. It's definitely not for everyone or every family. I have hardwood throughout the house and cork in the kitchen it all changes over time, to me that's the beauty of having a home.

OP, soapstone does not need to be sealed but it can be, it does not harm the stone. I chose to seal mine with color enhancing sealant so that it stays dark without any oil or wax. No problems at all with the stone and sealant and my slabs have been in for 4 years.

Mistman, you very eloquently described our experience with the soapstone in our kitchen. Thank you - sometimes it's hard to get across how we treat it and how we really feel about it.

I've had my soapstone for only about four months now, and all I can say is I wish I had known about it 27 years ago when I re-did the kitchen the last time! Mistman hit the nail on the head, it's not for everyone. I relate it more to a butcher block countertop that takes on character as it ages. Mine is called Mariana, which is medium-soft, some big wild veining, chalk board grey when dry, and almost jet black when oiled, which I've done about once a month.

Sure hope we like it. We just ordered enough for the kitchen counters and island, about 85 Sq ft I think. Cinza Verde is the stone we went with. Good post! Thanks for the info.