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marshmallow45

I regret my granite choice..

marshmallow45
9 years ago

We are currently building a new home and I had helped my parents pick out a granite for our new kitchen. Our cabinets are white with a dark cocoa brown island so I had originally wanted to stick with a whiter granite but they didn't have anything close to what I had in mind (the lady told me not to get marble)

In the end I chose this Dark Casablanca which is yellowish (which is okay) and had pearly bits in it. Last week I went with my parents to check on our house and found our countertops installed. I'm a bit of a perfectionist and OCD about everything, so to discover these random splotches of black really made me feel a little...blah my mom didn't like this granite right from the start when we first saw it in the slab form... I was hoping there wouldn't be so many big splotches of black... but now I really regret it and I don't know what to do... Do you guys think anything can be done? I've definitely learned my lesson to always listen to mom :( Our backsplash is just a simple white subway tile so thankfully it doesn't look too crappy. My mom still doesn't like it but just agreed with it because she didn't want to hurt my feelings lol... ahh what to do??

Sorry I don't have any pics, but I'll show some next time I go.. I tried googling some pics but it looks nothing like ours :S

Comments (96)

  • CEFreeman
    9 years ago

    I guess who paid for what is the question, because that person's discretionary income comes into play. Other than that, they could live on the moon and be putting granite in their treehouse, and it just doesn't matter how the relationships go.

    I haven't got an answer for you, so let's put that right out there. If I do something and decide I just can't stand it (or it just doesn't "do it for me" after all) I save my money and have it replaced. Nothing is written in stone; where there's a will, there's a way. It just might take some time.

    If you both agree (or the actual owner of the home decides) it just doesn't work, consider how to replace it. Selling it on Craig's List is a great idea, because with pictures of it in place, there's a better chance of someone saying, "OOOOOO That's IT!" And, they can be responsible for removing it.

    The idea of asking about remnants for other elements of the kitchen is an excellent idea. Particularly if your fabricator understands how shocked and disappointed you are with the choice made. It sounds like she's helpful for you.

    All this is coming from a woman who had plywood countertops for several years. Not even nice plywood: OSB. I finally built myself my own butcher block on one side of the kitchen & a dear friend built me a beautiful Wilsonart countertop on the other side. I, however, have dreamed of soapstone for a decade now. When I have the money (soon, I hope) I'll be removing the laminate and putting that in. My point here is that sometimes functional temporary solutions might be better than feeling forced to live with something you just plain don't like.

    Laminates are consistent and you know what you're getting. If you can get to the stone yard and SEE how a template is going to be laid out? That's different, too.

    In the meanwhile, being forced to live with it might change things. However, if you think you're going to walk into the kitchen in 10 years and still hate the granite? Get rid of it.

  • Vertise
    9 years ago

    It's been pretty clear from the start that DD feels bad about choosing something her mother didn't like (which she now sees why) and came here simply to ask how she might make it look better so she could offer some suggestions back home.

    If someone thinks they need to rip it out because it's so bad, still does not require needing to know the financial arrangements to make that recommendation. Although we haven't even seen it yet. I'm sure this family can sort out their own finances and schedule a decision to demo all by themselves if that's the direction they decide to go. And if she decides to rip it out while the parents are traveling abroad, that's her/their problem.

    Why the need to know how other people are living is beyond me.

  • nosoccermom
    9 years ago

    Could you post some information about what the granite looks like, the cabinets, the floor, etc.?
    Does it looks like this?

    If yes, I have to say that I actually like the black because as others have said, you can pick it up in other parts of the kitchen, for example, light fixtures, accessories, etc.

  • marshmallow45
    Original Author
    9 years ago

    This is more like what my granite looks like, but with larger black spots.

    Here is a link that might be useful: Casablanca

  • jerzeegirl
    9 years ago

    If it looks anything like that, it's beautiful. In my opinion, it's the dark blotches that make granite fabulous! Those are ancient minerals embedded in the stone and there is a beauty thinking about how old those rocks really are.

  • itsallaboutthefood
    9 years ago

    I think you should relax about it. What is done is done. Wait until you move in and everything is done and see if adjustments to lighting, paint, backsplash and accessories can mitigate your concerns. You and your parents might find you like it after all. It seems clear to me that you care more the granite selected than your parents (why else would they defer to your opinion). And if you liked it once...you may see what you liked in it initially again after a little time.

    Many people buy houses with kitchens and granite they did not select. Many people have posted on this forum that they are worried they made the wrong granite decision and a little time softens their initial response to it after it was actually installed.

  • debrak2008
    9 years ago

    OP, I love the granite you posted.

    I think the "confusion" comes from determining who is the decision maker. Note how sales people often insist on speaking to both spouses/SOs together. They don't know who is the decision maker.

    Some details do matter when determining what to do in any situation like this.

    Who owns the house? Who paid for the granite (or whatever)? Who is the decision maker? Was advice given/taken by someone else? Did the owner know about this in advance (such as was this a surprise?)

    It is actually surprising this doesn't come up more often. Nowadays you have multi generational families living together, related and non related people living together, etc.

    We don't need personal details just the facts to gain the correct perspective to look at the issue. For example:

    Bob owns a house. Amy lives there too. Amy picks out and surprises Bob with granite. Bob hates it. What should Amy do? No need to describe relationship or any other info.

    That is a different situation than.

    Bob and Amy own a house together.

    I think that is all anyone was trying to determine.

  • crl_
    9 years ago

    I think that granite looks pretty so if yours is similar, I'd like it too. I agree with those who have said that it's hard to see the countertop in isolation. Paint and all the other finishing touches will make a big difference.

    In your circumstances, I would live with the granite and try to work with paint, lighting and any other choices still to be made to make it look good to you. If the people who are living there in five or ten years don't like it then, new countertops aren't that hard to do.

  • nosoccermom
    9 years ago

    I think it's the black that makes your granite interesting. Perhaps use black handles, accessories, etc. to play it up.

    What are the cabinets and floors like?

  • Iowacommute
    9 years ago

    That look like Cookies and Cream ice cream which makes me happy...and also hungry. If your mom is interested at all in geology hop over to one of the stone threads in here where our amazing resident geologist can tell you how that stone was formed. I have seen many people on there write how they hate the granite but after understanding it they have a new appreciation for it.

    The counter would probably also look better with a pretty potted plant or some flowers. 'Hint hint' get her some flowers or a something new and pretty to sit on the counter. She can look at that while she gets used to the counter.

  • Vertise
    9 years ago

    "Some details do matter when determining what to do in any situation like this."

    The details and sorting out the suggestions is a family matter not an internet matter. If people can't make decorating suggestions without knowing who owns the house and pays the bills, that makes no sense to me. The question wasn't at all about sorting out responsibilities or blame.

  • lavender_lass
    9 years ago

    First, to answer the question...if the black is noticable (and too expensive to replace) choose whether to accent the black (with handles, etc.) or to accent the other colors and minimize the black. I would choose the latter and use a metal finish for the hardware.

    The granite is very nice (IMHO) and I think you will ALL like it, once you get used to it, in the space. Don't worry about it for now and concentrate on finishing the kitchen and bringing in the accessories! That's the fun part...and will bring your personal touches into the room, making it your own :)

    As for some of the earlier posts...Oh my gosh! This is the same thing that happend on the building a home forum, last week. Who cares? What makes anyone think they have the right to ask (let alone demand) that someone give their life story, to receive help???

    It's a simple question...there is concern that the granite might not work as well as hoped, in their kitchen. If a wife talked a husband into a certain granite...would we be demanding to know who paid and who worked? Or the ages of those involved? Some make silly assumptions (rather than ask) and derail posts. Let's stop doing that, okay?

  • emmarene9
    9 years ago

    OP will not be able to take pix until next week end visit to house. She said so.

  • gr8daygw
    9 years ago

    That looks a lot like my granite! I have been looking for it forever because I need a piece to replace the run of granite where the sink is due to having to replace the sink. Too funny. That particular slab is nearly impossible to find. You're right, it doesn't resemble any of the names it's been given. It is called Ivory Silk here but it looks nothing like the ivory silk on the internet or anything else for that matter. That is funny because the black is the thing I wanted to leave in the most. It set off the pale colors in the stone and gave it more life and interest. That is a very pretty slab you have shown that is similar to yours. If it makes you feel any better, I've had many compliments on it and the fabricator said that when they had it at the front of the shop being ready to be cut for a few days they had so much interest in it and so many people were sad that it was sold. It's an easy granite to match things to so that is a positive for your mom. It's pretty neutral.

    Here's a couple of pictures:


  • marshmallow45
    Original Author
    9 years ago

    This is what our kitchen somewhat looks like (minus the appliances, glass cabinets, and our sink is in the island) We have similar cabinets, bar pulls and backsplash but our walls are a pale blue.

    I feel like after looking at so many pictures of granite, I've forgotten what ours looks like now... *facepalm*

    gr8day - You have a very pretty kitchen! I love your cabinets and your granite is beautiful. Good luck on finding more of your granite!

  • hippy
    9 years ago

    I have built three houses in my lifetime. From the first to last I have did the kitchen the same way when it came to counter tops.

    Install a cheap butcher block or other counter top first. Get everything else in place (appliances, cabinets etc) and look at it for a month or so.

    Then go shopping for good Granite or Soapstone Counter Tops.

  • bbtrix
    9 years ago

    Marsh, welcome to GW! I hope you can see the forest for the trees through this first post. Personally, I admire that you are doing this together with your parents and taking an active interest. Your mom took your input and went with it. I do the same with my daughter all the time. We have similar tastes and interests, and I respect and look forward to her input. We've made plenty of choices together that dont turn out for the best but i would never call them a mistake. They are joint decisions we work and live through. Homes are a family matter and you will get through this together. There are so many decisions to make and all does not turn as as our mind's eye sees.

    Many of our seasoned members have given you sage advice. Looking forward to pix.

  • andreak100
    9 years ago

    Marshmallow - Your patience is appreciated. Thanks for holding on with us here as we still sort out how much our nosey side needs to be satiated! And truthfully, I'm glad that you decided to remove the story of your life from here - we don't need to know. (Although I'll admit that I did read it, but mainly because I've been following the thread.)

    If your granite looks anything like the picture link you posted, it's beautiful and I really do believe that in time all parties concerned will come to enjoy it. There are many granites that I would dislike having in my house - the picture of the one you posted, I along with many others here would welcome, if that helps at all. :)

    As much as I loved our granite when it was in slab form...when it got here and was first installed, there was still a few moments of, "Oh, am I going to love it IN the house?"... It passed for me pretty quickly as I started to live with it a bit. And I love it even more now than I did in it's slab form.

    Change is a shock. Even good change.

    It's pretty unlikely that the granite will be torn out and replaced - doesn't matter who is paying for it...I'm figuring that it's pretty much going to stay there. So, it's important to make peace with it. Look for our "geology lesson" threads - it truly helps you to understand and appreciate better the uniqueness of your (and "your" means "reader", not necessarily you specifically since some will want to argue that it doesn't matter if you are at peace with the stone since it's not your house, sheesh!) stone. And I think that helps people love things more recognizing that what you have is unique...no one else will have the exact same thing.

    It may be good to capitalize on the black spots and use that as a feature as some have mentioned - using dark handles on the cabinets, etc. Act like that's what you planned all along. :) Own it, love it (or at least act like you do until you really do)...and others will too.

  • magsnj
    9 years ago

    I actually think its good that you dislike it this much and haven't been able to see it, bc you've built it up in your head to be an ugly monster. That way when you see it again, its very unlikely that its THAT bad. :)

    This is the way alot of happy accidents happen. Accessorize it, put some things on the counter, and stop fixating on it. Things grow on you and alot of times the things you think you hate often morph into your favorite thing. Taste evolves, and maybe this is the nudge you need to appreciate the natural elements of stone. :)

  • magsnj
    9 years ago

    I actually think its good that you dislike it this much and haven't been able to see it, bc you've built it up in your head to be an ugly monster. That way when you see it again, its very unlikely that its THAT bad. :)

    This is the way alot of happy accidents happen. Accessorize it, put some things on the counter, and stop fixating on it. Things grow on you and alot of times the things you think you hate often morph into your favorite thing. Taste evolves, and maybe this is the nudge you need to appreciate the natural elements of stone. :)

  • chicagoans
    9 years ago

    gr8day your kitchen is lovely! And marshmallow, the granite pix you posted are really pretty too. Hang in there and as mentioned above, when you put things on the counters and start living with it, you may love the stone.

    I find it funny that the question of who paid for it is such a big deal in this thread. Often in threads when a poster says "I want this but DH wants that" many people say "whoever spends more time in the kitchen gets their way." I don't remember ever seeing someone ask "who is paying for it?"

  • Circus Peanut
    9 years ago

    ooh! ooh! Marshmallow, with these fabulous countertops, you are that very rare person who can replicate my all-time favorite photo here on GardenWeb Kitchens: hiding chocolate-chip cookies in plain sight! Tell your mom there are always advantages no matter what the choice. :)

  • cluelessincolorado
    9 years ago

    ROTFL circuspeanut!!!

  • emmarene9
    9 years ago

    Now I want one.

  • marshmallow45
    Original Author
    9 years ago

    OMG hahaha circuspeanut I want a chocolate chip cookie!

  • debrak2008
    9 years ago

    Why would you want to hide a chocolate chip cookie??? I have "lost" chocolate chips on my granite. Sometimes fun to find and eat but other times I set my hot tea cup down and make a mess, wasting a chocolate chip.

  • Bunny
    9 years ago

    I lose coffee beans on my counter. Sometimes when I find them, I'm all "eeeek!!!"

  • shelayne
    9 years ago

    Great. Now I want--no, I neeeeeed-- a chocolate chip cookie! :D

    It is going to be fine, Marshmallow. Once you get everything in place and add your own flair to it, you will see why you liked it in the beginning. Granite does look completely different when it is installed versus it standing up in all its glory in the showroom, and sometimes that can be somewhat of a letdown--especially if it has pieces of bling in it. ;) The pictures you have posted look very lovely. It is natural to have second-thoughts, but I bet you will end up very happy with your choice. I look forward to your pics. :)

    Now, back to that cookie....

  • Holly- Kay
    9 years ago

    First off, welcome to GW Marshmallow.

    Second, Circus Peanut you had me ROFL with that chocolate chip cookie.

    Third, if your granite looks anything like what you posted it is going to be lovely. I chose Typhoon Bordeaux and told the fabricator to do their best to use as little of the parts that had black as possible. When my granite was installed they used a lot of the parts that had black in it. As soon as I saw it installed I was so glad that they used the black parts. As a matter of fact, those sections are actually my favorite. Almost a year later and I still smile when I see the beautiful section behind my sink and on my island!

  • ontariomom
    9 years ago

    Hi Marshmallow,

    I am very sorry for some of the comments you had to read in this thread. I think your Mom took your advice because she likes your taste. Obviously she didn't have to if she really minded the granite. The important thing now, is to make sure the other decorating choices are subtle and don't compete with the granite. I have learned a lot from Maria Killam's website -- she is a colour expert from Canada (just google her). Her blog is full of good advice. Below, I have listed some of her ideas.

    As per Maria Killam ... granite is a "bossy" element in a kitchen. So now that you have one fixed element in a pattern, I would avoid adding any other patterns. For example, avoid a pattern on your floor. Is your floor, by chance, wood (that would be good).

    Another important consideration, according to Maria Killam, is to determine the undertone of the colour in the granite. If it is, for example, yellow-beige, you don't want to have a pinky-beige floor (they compete badly). Ideally, you don't want different undertones as they don't play well together. You will likely need to read more on her blog to get this concept fully.

    The undertones of the paint colour will also be important to get right. So, floor, counter, and paint should all have the same undertones. I am glad you are planning a plain subway back splash. Is it to be white? Wood is more of a neutral and can go with most undertones. Your chocolate brown and white cabs should cooperate too.

    Best of luck. I imagine you will like your granite tons more when all is said and done. Just take time to double check your other decisions to make sure the granite is the star and does not clash with anything else going in.

    Carol

  • marshmallow45
    Original Author
    9 years ago

    Here is my finished kitchen! It definitely looks nicer with all the appliances and finishes :D My mom thinks it looks great too even though she thinks it looks better at night :S I'm still a little meh about the black spots but I guess thats what makes it look unique :D

    {{!gwi}}

    This post was edited by marshmallow45 on Wed, May 28, 14 at 2:24

  • mitchdesj
    9 years ago

    thanks for the update, marshmallow: I love your granite and your cabs and pulls .

  • rubyclaire
    9 years ago

    I think it looks great - especially with the other elements in the space. Have fun and enjoy!!

  • CEFreeman
    9 years ago

    Oh,wow. Marshmallow, I am not a granite fanbbecause I don't like specks. I think I love your granite because the dark spots are not specks! Oooo.

    I had to laugh again at the cookie on the counter. All through the hoo-ha, I kept thinking someone needed a little cookie dough!

  • Circus Peanut
    9 years ago

    Even better, Marsh -- you can hide chocolate Oreo chunk cookies on there!

  • Holly- Kay
    9 years ago

    Marshmallow....It's beautiful! WTG!

  • Bunny
    9 years ago

    It's beautiful. It's got character. And now I have a craving for cookie dough. :)

  • greenhaven
    9 years ago

    I LOVE THAT GRANITE, especially on the black cabinets! It is sooo Cookies and Cream, and that makes my head happy. :o) It will absolutely pop with some accents of minty green or powdery blue. Like an old fashioned ice cream parlor.

  • crl_
    9 years ago

    It Is lovely!

  • laurencp
    9 years ago

    I actually like the black in the granite. I think it looks beautiful! Sorry you were worrying about the end result, but you did a great jobwith your choice!

  • Texas_Gem
    9 years ago

    Your mom has a wonderful kitchen! The cookies and cream granite goes great with both the light and dark cabs.

  • robo (z6a)
    9 years ago

    It looks super and great with your two tone choices. I wish all my "mistakes" looked that good!

  • marshmallow45
    Original Author
    9 years ago

    Oops I didn't realize my one picture wasn't working

    circuspeanut omg those cookies look so good... Do you have a recipe for them?

  • Ivan I
    9 years ago

    Wow, Marshmello, what a beautiful room!

    (not saying that to dispute your opinion - I loved mdln's response:

    Posted by mdln (My Page) on Sun, May 18, 14 at 12:09
    Tell your mom you are really sorry, it did not turn out as you expected, and she was right. Then ask if there is anything you can do to make up for it.
    Suspect once everything is done, and you have stuff on the counters, it will not be as noticable. Also, the rooms paint color and lighting can alter how countertops look.

    Good luck.")

    This advice in general

    >> Tell your mom you are really sorry, it did not turn out as you expected, and she was right. Then ask if there is anything you can do to make up for it.

    can mean so much when delivering an apology.
    Yet so few people do that / say that.

  • debrak2008
    9 years ago

    The kitchen is gorgeous!

  • sixkeys
    9 years ago

    I'm not a granite person, but I think it looks beautiful with the other finishes. I hope you and your mom grow to love it.

  • gr8daygw
    9 years ago

    OMG, that is freaking gorgeous, lol, and not a little because it looks just like mine : ))) Seriously, it is beautiful and perfect for your space. It will grow on you, it never looks dirty, easy to get along with, you can decorate around it easily and over time I keep seeing more and more sparkly things in it. I'm glad you and your mama are feeling better about it. I do promise it will grow on you.

  • susanlynn2012
    9 years ago

    Marshmallow45, the granite may not have been what you envisioned but I love it! I love how it goes so well with both the white cabinets and the dark island and looks great with the appliances. The kitchen looks wonderful! I wish it was my kitchen since I keep having one crisis after another and can't seem to get back to finishing my kitchen that I hate so much.

  • lindanewc
    9 years ago

    Marshmellow, is that white springs granite? It looks very similar to mine. Reading this thread I was surprised to see the actual granite being discussed. I have the same handles as you too but I have cherry cabinets.

    Love your granite!

  • CEFreeman
    9 years ago

    Oh,wow. Marshmallow, I am not a granite fanbbecause I don't like specks. I think I love your granite because the dark spots are not specks! Oooo.

    I had to laugh again at the cookie on the counter. All through the hoo-ha, I kept thinking someone needed a little cookie dough!