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I regret my granite choice..

Posted by marshmallow45 (My Page) on
Sun, May 18, 14 at 3:41

We are currently building a new home and I had helped my parents pick out a granite for our new kitchen. Our cabinets are white with a dark cocoa brown island so I had originally wanted to stick with a whiter granite but they didn't have anything close to what I had in mind (the lady told me not to get marble)

In the end I chose this Dark Casablanca which is yellowish (which is okay) and had pearly bits in it. Last week I went with my parents to check on our house and found our countertops installed. I'm a bit of a perfectionist and OCD about everything, so to discover these random splotches of black really made me feel a little...blah my mom didn't like this granite right from the start when we first saw it in the slab form... I was hoping there wouldn't be so many big splotches of black... but now I really regret it and I don't know what to do... Do you guys think anything can be done? I've definitely learned my lesson to always listen to mom :( Our backsplash is just a simple white subway tile so thankfully it doesn't look too crappy. My mom still doesn't like it but just agreed with it because she didn't want to hurt my feelings lol... ahh what to do??

Sorry I don't have any pics, but I'll show some next time I go.. I tried googling some pics but it looks nothing like ours :S


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: I regret my granite choice..

There is a certain shock value in seeing granite installed for the first time. It looks quite different cut down into countertops than it does as a slab, especially a busy stone like Casablanca. Lots of people have that "what have I done" feeling when they first see their granite countertops, so this is a completely normal reaction to something new and different. Plus you are focused on the granite in isolation, everything else that makes a kitchen your kitchen is not in place yet. Once you have moved in and decorated the kitchen with your own touch, it will look great! I also freaked out a little when my granite was being installed, thinking I should have chosen something less showy. My kitchen has been complete except the backsplash for several months now and I love my granite! Just give it time, you will love your granite too!


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Not your house, not your issue. Mom's house, mom's choice. Get over your disppointment with her choice. Wait until you move out and buy your own home to try to put your own taste into it. Let your mom have her own fun, with her own taste. She's probably waited long enough for it.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

OP, what a terrible feeling! So sorry. At this point, "loving what you have" is about your only choice, unless you are in a position to re-sell your new granite and start over. I'm sure it will come together. Good luck!

This post was edited by jadie88 on Sun, May 18, 14 at 7:45


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Gee Holly, that was pretty harsh! Did you even read her post? She clearly states SHE chose the granite, not her mom. She even stated that her mom didn't really like the granite from the start. Now that it is installed, she feels badly that she may not have made the best choice. A little empathy is what she needs right now, not chastising.

Marshmallow, it will be fine! Your mom trusted your taste and judgement enough to influence such a major design element for good reason. Don't dwell on it now, when everything is done and all the elements are in place, I'm sure it will be lovely and your mom will be thrilled with her new kitchen!


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Holly - I think that you may need to re-read Marshmallow's post...she was the one that picked the granite for her mom and now she is feeling bad because it doesn't look the way she thought it would (and her mom wasn't overly fond of the choice to start, but went along with it). I don't think we need to make her feel worse about this.

Marshmallow - there's often a feeling of shock when something first goes into place that is different from what it had been before. Quite a few people have had the "uh-oh" feelings when something new goes in. We are just used to things a certain way from before...even if we didn't love (or even much *like* the before), it was comfortable and we were used to it. I'll truly bet that when you finally post a photo here, you'll find that most of us won't think it's bad at all. And, if it truly IS a little less than desirable, remember that most of us have things on the counters - those cover up and hide a good bit of the stone and truly make things look different. From the sounds of things, a few nice colorful accessories and small appliances will make everything look great. Hang in there. It'll be fine. :)


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Her interpretation. If mom was unhappy, mom would be on here instead of the teenager.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

I am a fabricator.

This happens on rare occasions that the homeowner doesn't like the stone. Please, please don't blame your fabricator. One of the worst aspects of doing remodel work is dealing with the homeowner that doesn't like what they picked and seems to think it's the painter, cabinet maker, countertop guy, or whoever's responsibility to fix it.

Some individuals seem to think their dissatisfaction with their selection is a license to flog the supplier. I once had an unhappy customer that said: " I'm not happy and you should have told me I wouldn't like the color I picked out."

I'm dealing with a particularly unpleasant lady right now that is very dissatisfied with her St. Cecelia because it's not 100% glassy smooth and she had a dark spot (which disappeared when it dried out) from a coffee spill. She actually accused me of "buying 2nd grade slabs and skipping the repolishing so I could make more money".... so I'm a liar and a thief. She screamed at me when I tried to explain that I get the slabs already polished. I am very close to telling her to go to hell.

So, you decided you don't like your stone. Please don't blame the fabricator or expect him to make some miracle and turn the stone into something its not.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

I am confused by the OP. The first sentence seems to be saying two different things. Is it the OP's house or her parent's house? If it's her parent's house, why did she pick the granite and not her parents? If it's her house, and she picked the granite, why does it matter whether her mother likes it or not? Or, are she and the parents living in one house, so they all need to like it? If that is the case, why didn't they pick something they all liked? There are hundreds of granites to choose from, and there should be one that they all would have liked.

Regarding the black splotches - typically the splotches are the most interesting part of a stone, and people try to template the slab in order to capture the splotches for their counters. Perhaps you are just not used to them. Live with it for a while, and you will calm down.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Wow...okay, this thread seems like it's turning into something that it wasn't intended.

OP posted that she's (marshmallow, I'm assuming you are female...sorry if I assumed wrong and you're male instead) feeling unhappy because her choice for her mom didn't turn out to be as spectacular, in her opinion, as she hoped. I think that she's looking for reassurance that she didn't do something that is going to make her the outcast of the family! Probably some simple sympathetic "virtual hugs" will go a long way...reassurance that it's probably MUCH better than she thinks.

Where did we see that the OP is a teenager? And regardless, really, does it matter? I assist my mom with a fair number of decisions and I am (sadly) nowhere close to being a teenager. Now, OP may be a teenager, and if so, it's nice for her to be concerned that mom might be disappointed...a lot of teens that I know of out there wouldn't care at all. Maybe mom doesn't use a computer (I know that my mom doesn't and there's absolutely no way she could get on here on her own to post) or maybe mom doesn't know about this resource. Again, I think that it's kind of the OP to be concerned that it might be a disappointing choice all around. And it's nice to be concerned enough to try to think of ways that this might be remedied. If OP had just posted, "I picked out this stone for the kitchen, and it looks much worse than I expected. What can I do?", with no disclaimer that it was mom's kitchen, most of us would give the poster suggestions on living with it for a while, try getting everything completed, put in some accessories, etc. I don't see how this post should be treated differently just because OP came clean that it was mom's kitchen, but OP's choice.

I didn't see anywhere where the OP was blaming the fabricator for her choice in stone. It didn't seem to be going in that direction at all.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Andreak - I am still confused by the OP where she says "we are building a home…", then "I helped my parents pick out a granite"…"for our new kitchen". So maybe it means the OP and the parents are living together?

In any case, I still think they just need to live with the counters for a while, and they will like them. I think Fishymom's post is spot on.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

"I am still confused by the OP where she says "we are building a home…", then "I helped my parents pick out a granite"…"for our new kitchen". So maybe it means the OP and the parents are living together?"

My point being...does it really matter? OP is asking for advice on how to make things better. She didn't ask for our opinions on her living arrangements or her assisting with decisions. From what I've read, she hasn't asked for our judgment on if she should be helping to make decisions or not. She just wants to know how to make this more livable.

Fishymom and I have both suggested some things - it might take some adjusting and be fine...accessories, paint, etc.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Would you still be giving the same advice to a renter whose landlord put in granite that the tenant didn't like? Only the owner of the property has say in what is done to the property. The OP isn't a decision making party, and thus has no standing to express any disappointment or to attempt any ''fix''.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Holly - totally different scenario. She apparently has SOME decision making ability in this and say since they went with the granite that the OP picked, yes? And asking for advice on how to fix something doesn't mean that she's going to go in and do it without the other interested parties giving opinions. Regardless, I'm not sure it matters.

Let's instead perhaps pretend that the OP didn't suffer the details to us and just posted, "Hey, I picked a granite counter that I'm not in love with for 'these reasons'. What suggestions do you have to make it more livable?"


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Some clarification of the situation would help.

Did you pick out the exact slab? did you work with the fabricator on the granite layout?

The kitchen will look much different when it is completely done and lived in.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

This is getting ridiculous - the OP asked for comfort not being yelled at. Even Oldryder, from whom I would not expect this, chimes in with "don't blame your fabricator" - talk about assuming facts not in evidence. The OP clearly blames herself and wants us to help her figure out what to do, which so far only Andreas and Fishymom have done!

OP, granite does look different when it's horizontal, vs the slabs you see at the slab yard. But you're going to have other decor, even just the things you normally put on a kitchen counter will change the look. Don't judge too harshly just yet.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

When I was in the emergency room after amputating my fingertips many years ago, Nurse Ratched told me I needed to "settle down immediately" or they would be unable to help me. It was a metaphorical slap in the face, and just what I needed. I felt better immediately and never forgot the lesson.

Everyone has a different approach, but all are trying to help. Let's give everybody some leeway here, please.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

I found the original post a bit confusing as well. To me, it seemed to say that she is building a new house, chose the granite and her mother gave her opinion of it, which she didn't like. Now she finds that she agrees with Mom, she doesnt really like it. I guess I would say, the granite is installed, why not wait until everything is finished to decide? She may find that once it is all done, it all comes together and she does like it. Especially when she gets the appliances, painting and backsplash done. Some people have a hard time envisioning the finished result and panic before it all comes together. WIth a new build, so many, many decisions and endless choices, you can second guess everything. Be patient, wait and see the finished kitchen, I am betting she finds she likes it when its all done.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Tell your mom you are really sorry, it did not turn out as you expected, and she was right. Then ask if there is anything you can do to make up for it.

Suspect once everything is done, and you have stuff on the counters, it will not be as noticable. Also, the rooms paint color and lighting can alter how countertops look.

Good luck.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

marshmallow45 - the missing information from your post is whether the new home is for you, your mom, or both.

You really just have two main choices -- either rip it out, or learn to like it. There may be some other things you can do to make the countertops more palatable, but the big decision is to keep it or not.

There was probably a reason why you picked it in the first place. Maybe with time that reason will come back to you.

If you post some pictures, you can get some more opinions about the countertop itself.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Marshmellow45, Hey Sugar, sometimes it just takes a little time to get used to new things. Give yourselves some time to get used to the new granite and you all might learn to love it. It took me two years to love my granite and now I think it is just right for my kitchen and can't imagine what else could look as nice as it does. Keep the faith and be confident and listen to all the nice compliments you are going to be getting and believe them! I am sure it will all be beautiful when it's all finished and has your family's personal touches in place.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

I'm sorry that you and your mom aren't happy with the granite choice and totally understand that you feel responsible even though it's your mom's kitchen. However, I agree that once you both get used to it and the appliances and other kitchen accessories are in, you and your mom might grow to like it, or at least not notice it so much. Also, tell your mom it's gorgeous once everything's done, and that might have a positive influence on her opinion! It might work out to be a happy accident that you didn't go with a different choice.

That's what happened when I had new River White granite installed in my bathroom. I loved the slab but when it was installed I realized there were several burgundy spots throughout that I hadn't noticed much before but which showed up more on the counter. I also thought its grayish white tone was too cool to work with the newly installed ivory travertine floors. Everyone who saw the new bathroom loved the counter though, and now that I'm used to it I love it too. The burgundy parts actually make the stone look warmer and also tie in the warm tones of the stained cabinet and ivory floors.

The black parts of your granite counter might also work well with any black details that you have in your appliances. I actually really like the black in my own beige granite kitchen counters (and wish my granite had golden tones like yours instead of mauve).

I also have to say that I just looked at some images of casablanca granite on Google and it looks gorgeous, with both white and dark cabinets! It doesn't look like a white granite or marble, but that's not bad - just different. It's a much warmer look, which is a beautiful choice.

If your mom really doesn't like it after living with it for awhile I have heard of something called granite transformations that can change the look of existing granite. I think a thin layer of granite is applied over the existing counter, but I'm not sure. It would be a shame to cover up the beautiful casablanca though, if it looks anything like the images I've seen online!

Maybe you should post a picture of the white subway tiles you were thinking of using for the backsplash. If the counters are as golden as I've seen online, an ivory or other warm color might work better and tie everything in. Same for the flooring.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Thanks for all the wonderful replies and kind words of encouragement! :D

I didn't realize that my current living arrangements/age and whatnot would cause such problems... I didn't think it really mattered?

To clarify things, when we went to go pick out granite, my parents were with me. I just happen to pick out "the one" and my parents went along with my decision. It wasn't as if I just went by myself and did whatever I wanted. I just feel really sad that the granite didn't turn out to be how I wanted it to be, thats all.. I just had this vision that our new kitchen would be perfect (to me at least); which I know is impossible.

Also, no I will not blame the fabricator. Sorry if I gave off the impression I was?? The lady was very kind and it's not like she can make the black spots go away (I wish!)

I promise to post up pictures when I go check on the house again next week! The orangey Juparana casablanca pictures on google look nothing like we have and I couldn't find anyone who has this granite :(


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Marsh, very few decisions we make in life are literally set in stone. Of course we all want to get these decisions right, but who is always right? Fortunately, the kitchen is a far better place for big mistakes than say, interpersonal relationships or tax filings. It happened. Let your fabricator know you made a mistake and see if she can come up with a not so expensive fix. Maybe she has stone remnants that she can use on the perimeter cabs so you'll just be left with a blotchy island. Maybe your builder can use the stone in another build. You'll never know unless you ask. So ask, and be prepared to roll with it.

Good luck. I hope it works out.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Marsh- I think the confusion comes from everyone trying to figure out if you are a teenager and this is your parents house that you will be moving out of in a few years (aka not really your decision or problem) vs you are an adult and you are willingly living with your parents but this is just as much your home as it is theirs and it will remain so long after they are gone.

Regardless, most people, from what I have seen, tend to get a bit of a shock when their granite is installed because, IMHO, most granites have a strong (even if somewhat subtle) pattern to them and when installed in your space, they can look drastically different than what you envisioned.

Give it a few days and please do post pics!


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Post some pics! Hopefully after everything is done it will look better to you & your mother. Sometimes things look blah during the process.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Sorry you're having doubts. Paint and lighting, in one form or fashion, can fix a lot of things.

But, it's still unclear as to whether you are a 17 year old that lives at home and is maybe giving advice to mom because you're interested in the design field, or if you're a 60 something building your own home with a MIL suite in it so you and your mom can share a home. I do think that it's relevant to the discussion and responses! :-)


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

I didn't find this forum until after my kitchen renovation, so I didn't know that I should be looking at my own individual slabs when ordering stone. (Now it seems obvious, but I just didn't think of it.) I had picked out a stone and lived with a sample of it for weeks, putting it next to my cabinet door sample, paint chips, etc.

Our builders called to say that the same stone was less expensive at another yard, so I said sure get that (we did a large addition and extensive renovations so like most people I was budget conscious.) We were living in a rental house so I didn't see my counters until they were all installed. I was shocked and disappointed because it was very different than my sample.

Over time I have learned to love it, partly because I don't have a choice but mostly because I have filled my kitchen with friends and family. Also, I keep finding interesting little spots in the granite that I didn't notice at first, and that's kind of cool. So while it's not my dream granite, I have grown to like it. Mostly, with 2 teenagers, I'm just happy when the counters are clean!

I guess this is a long way of saying that I feel your pain and that I do think you will come to like your counters, especially when you are all moved in and can enjoy hosting friends and family in your kitchen. Your kitchen sounds lovely and your granite sounds pretty. Best of luck with the remainder of your build and enjoy your new home!


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Confusion aside - I agree with the others that putting things on the counters and in the kitchen will take the attention away from the counters. Right now they are the most prominent thing in the kitchen. Add some appliances, flooring, paint, backsplash - and the counter will no longer loom as large.

For some people, the splotches of color are what make a granite interesting and wonderful. I hope you can embrace the uniqueness of your counters, and love your new kitchen and new home!


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Wow, who cares about the living arrangement, age, etc.
The question is:

I feel the granite I/we picked is wrong. Now what?

So, the only relevant answers should be along the lines of how to rip it out, how to realize that it's a normal reaction, and/or how to make it work with the paint color, lighting, flooring, whatever.

Remember the counter top that was kind of "cow" flecked in the homeowner's opinion (actually a mom posting on behalf of her daughter) a while ago? Same story here.

Added link below to that thread.

Here is a link that might be useful: Oh no! Granite is not what we thought...

This post was edited by nosoccermom on Mon, May 19, 14 at 19:24


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Nosoccermom - I've been searching for the tread you mentioned. I think that would be a perfect read for the OP.

If anyone has that link, I think the OP may benefit from that posting. In that situation the owner learned to live (and love) with the dramatic affect after some time to adjust.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

please. she needs to come back and clarify a few things. her 2nd post didn't.

marshmellow - is it your kitchen? or theirs and you still live at home?

were you buying it for them? did they say you could pick it out? obviously, they went along with your choice tho...they didn't have to do that.

but, is it your house or theirs?

I have often seen on here topic lines like yours but when pic is posted it isn't that bad - really. sometimes it's just such a shocker - it's new, it's different, it's bold and colorful etc. it stands out like a sore thumb - but it won't after things are done and put together.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

This thread is like a trip into the twilight zone.

Let's see. She divorced and moved back home with 4 children. Getting tight as the kids get older, so they decided to build for an extended family house. She never wants to marry again so is picking up half the mortgage for this house which will become part of her inheritance as an only child, and so will be her forever home.

Wow, it was a simple question, but best to leave the personal details and backstory out or people on the net will get distracted by things that are none of their business.

" I was hoping there wouldn't be so many big splotches of black... but now I really regret it and I don't know what to do... Do you guys think anything can be done?"

How her age and personal family matters are important to the possible suggestions is beyond me.

Please provide a photo so people can provide more specific input.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Good grief! I can't believe so many people are concerning themselves with things that really don't matter. I feel so much like I'm in the movie "Up!" where the dogs get distracted by the squirrel to the exclusion of everything else.

The OP wants to know what can be done to make the granite in the kitchen look better. There's no need for any of us to know any of her backstory as to WHY she had a hand in picking the granite in question. There are many, many, many situations that we have no need to know the whole backstory about in order to give helpful suggestions.

Marshmallow - I feel bad that your post has turned into this...I hope that you have managed to glean pieces of info and help from those who have not gotten distracted and managed to see the question, not the circumstances.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

marshmallow45, I would move this question to the decorating forum or the small house forum. People are nice all the time there. Your living arrangements and personal history won't enter into the suggestions for fixing your surprise counters.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Red mulch.....


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

I just want to point out that, as someone who asked for clarification and also gave advice, I feel it is relevant.

If it isn't OPs permanent home (e.g. she is just a teenager) then recommending they rip out the granite and start over isn't really feasible because it isn't OPs money to spend, therefore recommendations should focus on how to turn a potential negative into a positive using finishing details like pulls, wall color, etc.

If, however it IS OPs permanent home and she is paying for it, suggesting she give it a few days and if she doesn't like it, have it replaced is entirely plausible.


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So she tells her parents they could always replace it (as if they don't know that), among many other ideas. So what. Or she realizes that's not really feasible so doesn't bother to mention it. I imagine everyone here receives many suggestions that wouldn't work for them for one reason or another.

Apparently this little girl is allowed to not only talk about counter tops but to make suggestions for them!

Maybe post a photo of your permission slip from your mommy along with the kitchen while you're at it ;)


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

My mom doesn't hate the granite! Just because she doesn't like it as much as I do doesn't mean she hates it... Since she loves me she went along with it and I just wanted to find ways to make it more appealing to her too thats all.

I had my "life story" posted here but I changed my mind about it... I'm sorry but I don't see how it really affects how I would be able to make the granite more palatable for my mom.

This post was edited by marshmallow45 on Tue, May 20, 14 at 1:45


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Maybe the countertops were made in China and that's why they're defective - and her parents don't like things made in China - oh wait a minute - that was a different thread - never mind :-)


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

OK, thanks for the clarification. So it looks like you will be living there temporarily and your parents (I.e. the owners) could potentially live there for a long while and/or sell it.

So the question is, is this something your mom can live with in the future once you move out or is it something she is just going to have to rip out later when she moves in or decides to sell?

Only she can truly answer that.

Your parents wanted you to have an environment that you felt comfortable in for as long as you are there so they have included you in the decision making process; ultimately though; if momma ain't happy, no ones happy.

IF this is something SHE truly doesn't like and will just rip out once you move out, might as well replace it now. If this is something she can live with in the future then you should steer any further decision making towards helping it blend by selecting appropriate flooring, pulls, wall color and paint.

Ultimately though, since it IS your parents property, momma (and daddy if he decides to get involved) should have final say.

You said earlier

"mom didn't like this granite right from the start when we first saw it in the slab form...mom still doesn't like it but just agreed with it because she didn't want to hurt my feelings lol"

Mom is trying to be nice and let you feel like it is your home too. Mom HATES this choice and doesn't want to live with it.

IMHO, you should tell mom you are sorry you picked the wrong granite for HER house and tell her she should pick what SHE likes since it is, ultimately HER place and she is just being kind enough to let you stay there for a short while.

Good luck OP, and remember, it is a lot easier to correct now, before anyone lives there.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Humm, I'm a grownup and I redid my kitchen in the home I own a few years ago and if I had not liked my counters, suggestions that I "give it a few days, and if I still don't like it, rip it out and have it replaced entirely" would really not have worked for me. Now if I was Donald Trump's teenage daughter posting, that suggestion could probably work.

I'm in the camp that the OP's personal situation does not really matter.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

I wish I could rip it out and replace it! But granite is damn expensive and anything is better than laminate countertops.

My mom isn't upset or anything about it! She'd just prefer to not have the black spots in the granite... I'm sure she's happy that we even have granite because we were originally going to stick with laminate, but since she doesn't trust that I'm not going to melt the counters with a pot we decided to upgrade. She's not blaming me for the granite, in fact I blame myself solely for this decision.

This post was edited by marshmallow45 on Tue, May 20, 14 at 1:47


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

What did your mom object to, the yellow granite or the black specks? Because that's a very yellow granite. Did you ask the fabricator to template around the black splotches?

Granite can be removed and sold on Craigslist. I would contribute to the cost of a replacement. Not every student gets a house built for them so they can attend university, so that would show your appreciation.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

I'd love to see some pictures of the installation!

I agree with some posters above that rock regret is pretty common. It can look a lot different on the counters than on the slab. I also think that loving the rock after the initial regret is also pretty common! So I'd give it some time.

Looking at a countertop in a completely bare kitchen is much different than once all your stuff goes in there. Also there are usually lots of black accents in any kitchen, just due to the appliances etc. If nothing else, you could tie the blotches in with black handles and pulls. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if in a year you guys are all like "I never thought I'd love this stone based on how I felt at first sight but it just gets more interesting every day."

I've picked out stuff with my parents before and known the sharp sting of regret. Somehow it makes it worse when you're not the only person living with the decision. Also I have super different taste than my parents, but also I care a lot more about decor, so they tend to ask my opinion. Sometimes I get it right, sometimes wrong. Not everyone is obsessed with kitchen design and you can count my parents among the "not everyone" for sure. Having been in that situation, I try not to feel singularly responsible for making a suggestion or choice that my parents went along with - if they agreed, they agreed. The mistake is all of ours. They could have chosen their own thing if they wanted.

I do think that it seemed the feedback was super harsh last week on this site generally -- maybe it's because all us laid back Canadians were offline enjoying the long weekend :) Next week all the USians will be mellowed by theirs.

This post was edited by robotropolis on Tue, May 20, 14 at 10:10


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

It's hard to envision how something - like a countertop - will look until it's in place and you see it in context. I agree with the others who have said that you'll likely grow to love it.

Having said that - your parents put up the money for this place, sounds like. They paid for it, they may live there long term someday, or whatever. If you don't like it - my goodness. That's part of university life, living in apartments/houses with decor that you don't like. This is short term for you. Put your big girl panties on and live with the black splotches or whatever your mom decides to do.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Laminate isn't so bad! I prefer laminate to granite any day. I don't like the hardness of the granite. But then I don't like tile or drinking out of glass drinking glasses either. :)


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

I guess who paid for what is the question, because that person's discretionary income comes into play. Other than that, they could live on the moon and be putting granite in their treehouse, and it just doesn't matter how the relationships go.

I haven't got an answer for you, so let's put that right out there. If I do something and decide I just can't stand it (or it just doesn't "do it for me" after all) I save my money and have it replaced. Nothing is written in stone; where there's a will, there's a way. It just might take some time.

If you both agree (or the actual owner of the home decides) it just doesn't work, consider how to replace it. Selling it on Craig's List is a great idea, because with pictures of it in place, there's a better chance of someone saying, "OOOOOO That's IT!" And, they can be responsible for removing it.

The idea of asking about remnants for other elements of the kitchen is an excellent idea. Particularly if your fabricator understands how shocked and disappointed you are with the choice made. It sounds like she's helpful for you.

All this is coming from a woman who had plywood countertops for several years. Not even nice plywood: OSB. I finally built myself my own butcher block on one side of the kitchen & a dear friend built me a beautiful Wilsonart countertop on the other side. I, however, have dreamed of soapstone for a decade now. When I have the money (soon, I hope) I'll be removing the laminate and putting that in. My point here is that sometimes functional temporary solutions might be better than feeling forced to live with something you just plain don't like.

Laminates are consistent and you know what you're getting. If you can get to the stone yard and SEE how a template is going to be laid out? That's different, too.

In the meanwhile, being forced to live with it might change things. However, if you think you're going to walk into the kitchen in 10 years and still hate the granite? Get rid of it.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

It's been pretty clear from the start that DD feels bad about choosing something her mother didn't like (which she now sees why) and came here simply to ask how she might make it look better so she could offer some suggestions back home.

If someone thinks they need to rip it out because it's so bad, still does not require needing to know the financial arrangements to make that recommendation. Although we haven't even seen it yet. I'm sure this family can sort out their own finances and schedule a decision to demo all by themselves if that's the direction they decide to go. And if she decides to rip it out while the parents are traveling abroad, that's her/their problem.

Why the need to know how other people are living is beyond me.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Could you post some information about what the granite looks like, the cabinets, the floor, etc.?
Does it looks like this?

If yes, I have to say that I actually like the black because as others have said, you can pick it up in other parts of the kitchen, for example, light fixtures, accessories, etc.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

This is more like what my granite looks like, but with larger black spots.

Here is a link that might be useful: Casablanca


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

If it looks anything like that, it's beautiful. In my opinion, it's the dark blotches that make granite fabulous! Those are ancient minerals embedded in the stone and there is a beauty thinking about how old those rocks really are.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

I think you should relax about it. What is done is done. Wait until you move in and everything is done and see if adjustments to lighting, paint, backsplash and accessories can mitigate your concerns. You and your parents might find you like it after all. It seems clear to me that you care more the granite selected than your parents (why else would they defer to your opinion). And if you liked it once...you may see what you liked in it initially again after a little time.

Many people buy houses with kitchens and granite they did not select. Many people have posted on this forum that they are worried they made the wrong granite decision and a little time softens their initial response to it after it was actually installed.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

OP, I love the granite you posted.

I think the "confusion" comes from determining who is the decision maker. Note how sales people often insist on speaking to both spouses/SOs together. They don't know who is the decision maker.

Some details do matter when determining what to do in any situation like this.

Who owns the house? Who paid for the granite (or whatever)? Who is the decision maker? Was advice given/taken by someone else? Did the owner know about this in advance (such as was this a surprise?)

It is actually surprising this doesn't come up more often. Nowadays you have multi generational families living together, related and non related people living together, etc.

We don't need personal details just the facts to gain the correct perspective to look at the issue. For example:

Bob owns a house. Amy lives there too. Amy picks out and surprises Bob with granite. Bob hates it. What should Amy do? No need to describe relationship or any other info.

That is a different situation than.

Bob and Amy own a house together.

I think that is all anyone was trying to determine.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

I think that granite looks pretty so if yours is similar, I'd like it too. I agree with those who have said that it's hard to see the countertop in isolation. Paint and all the other finishing touches will make a big difference.

In your circumstances, I would live with the granite and try to work with paint, lighting and any other choices still to be made to make it look good to you. If the people who are living there in five or ten years don't like it then, new countertops aren't that hard to do.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

I think it's the black that makes your granite interesting. Perhaps use black handles, accessories, etc. to play it up.

What are the cabinets and floors like?


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

That look like Cookies and Cream ice cream which makes me happy...and also hungry. If your mom is interested at all in geology hop over to one of the stone threads in here where our amazing resident geologist can tell you how that stone was formed. I have seen many people on there write how they hate the granite but after understanding it they have a new appreciation for it.

The counter would probably also look better with a pretty potted plant or some flowers. 'Hint hint' get her some flowers or a something new and pretty to sit on the counter. She can look at that while she gets used to the counter.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

"Some details do matter when determining what to do in any situation like this."

The details and sorting out the suggestions is a family matter not an internet matter. If people can't make decorating suggestions without knowing who owns the house and pays the bills, that makes no sense to me. The question wasn't at all about sorting out responsibilities or blame.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

First, to answer the question...if the black is noticable (and too expensive to replace) choose whether to accent the black (with handles, etc.) or to accent the other colors and minimize the black. I would choose the latter and use a metal finish for the hardware.

The granite is very nice (IMHO) and I think you will ALL like it, once you get used to it, in the space. Don't worry about it for now and concentrate on finishing the kitchen and bringing in the accessories! That's the fun part...and will bring your personal touches into the room, making it your own :)

As for some of the earlier posts...Oh my gosh! This is the same thing that happend on the building a home forum, last week. Who cares? What makes anyone think they have the right to ask (let alone demand) that someone give their life story, to receive help???

It's a simple question...there is concern that the granite might not work as well as hoped, in their kitchen. If a wife talked a husband into a certain granite...would we be demanding to know who paid and who worked? Or the ages of those involved? Some make silly assumptions (rather than ask) and derail posts. Let's stop doing that, okay?


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

OP will not be able to take pix until next week end visit to house. She said so.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

That looks a lot like my granite! I have been looking for it forever because I need a piece to replace the run of granite where the sink is due to having to replace the sink. Too funny. That particular slab is nearly impossible to find. You're right, it doesn't resemble any of the names it's been given. It is called Ivory Silk here but it looks nothing like the ivory silk on the internet or anything else for that matter. That is funny because the black is the thing I wanted to leave in the most. It set off the pale colors in the stone and gave it more life and interest. That is a very pretty slab you have shown that is similar to yours. If it makes you feel any better, I've had many compliments on it and the fabricator said that when they had it at the front of the shop being ready to be cut for a few days they had so much interest in it and so many people were sad that it was sold. It's an easy granite to match things to so that is a positive for your mom. It's pretty neutral.

Here's a couple of pictures:
 photo 2012-01-25_11-20-37_76.jpg
 photo 2012-01-25_11-16-35_168.jpg


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

This is what our kitchen somewhat looks like (minus the appliances, glass cabinets, and our sink is in the island) We have similar cabinets, bar pulls and backsplash but our walls are a pale blue.

I feel like after looking at so many pictures of granite, I've forgotten what ours looks like now... *facepalm*

gr8day - You have a very pretty kitchen! I love your cabinets and your granite is beautiful. Good luck on finding more of your granite!


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

I have built three houses in my lifetime. From the first to last I have did the kitchen the same way when it came to counter tops.

Install a cheap butcher block or other counter top first. Get everything else in place (appliances, cabinets etc) and look at it for a month or so.

Then go shopping for good Granite or Soapstone Counter Tops.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Marsh, welcome to GW! I hope you can see the forest for the trees through this first post. Personally, I admire that you are doing this together with your parents and taking an active interest. Your mom took your input and went with it. I do the same with my daughter all the time. We have similar tastes and interests, and I respect and look forward to her input. We've made plenty of choices together that dont turn out for the best but i would never call them a mistake. They are joint decisions we work and live through. Homes are a family matter and you will get through this together. There are so many decisions to make and all does not turn as as our mind's eye sees.

Many of our seasoned members have given you sage advice. Looking forward to pix.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Marshmallow - Your patience is appreciated. Thanks for holding on with us here as we still sort out how much our nosey side needs to be satiated! And truthfully, I'm glad that you decided to remove the story of your life from here - we don't need to know. (Although I'll admit that I did read it, but mainly because I've been following the thread.)

If your granite looks anything like the picture link you posted, it's beautiful and I really do believe that in time all parties concerned will come to enjoy it. There are many granites that I would dislike having in my house - the picture of the one you posted, I along with many others here would welcome, if that helps at all. :)

As much as I loved our granite when it was in slab form...when it got here and was first installed, there was still a few moments of, "Oh, am I going to love it IN the house?"... It passed for me pretty quickly as I started to live with it a bit. And I love it even more now than I did in it's slab form.

Change is a shock. Even good change.

It's pretty unlikely that the granite will be torn out and replaced - doesn't matter who is paying for it...I'm figuring that it's pretty much going to stay there. So, it's important to make peace with it. Look for our "geology lesson" threads - it truly helps you to understand and appreciate better the uniqueness of your (and "your" means "reader", not necessarily you specifically since some will want to argue that it doesn't matter if you are at peace with the stone since it's not your house, sheesh!) stone. And I think that helps people love things more recognizing that what you have is unique...no one else will have the exact same thing.

It may be good to capitalize on the black spots and use that as a feature as some have mentioned - using dark handles on the cabinets, etc. Act like that's what you planned all along. :) Own it, love it (or at least act like you do until you really do)...and others will too.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

I actually think its good that you dislike it this much and haven't been able to see it, bc you've built it up in your head to be an ugly monster. That way when you see it again, its very unlikely that its THAT bad. :)

This is the way alot of happy accidents happen. Accessorize it, put some things on the counter, and stop fixating on it. Things grow on you and alot of times the things you think you hate often morph into your favorite thing. Taste evolves, and maybe this is the nudge you need to appreciate the natural elements of stone. :)


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

I actually think its good that you dislike it this much and haven't been able to see it, bc you've built it up in your head to be an ugly monster. That way when you see it again, its very unlikely that its THAT bad. :)

This is the way alot of happy accidents happen. Accessorize it, put some things on the counter, and stop fixating on it. Things grow on you and alot of times the things you think you hate often morph into your favorite thing. Taste evolves, and maybe this is the nudge you need to appreciate the natural elements of stone. :)


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

gr8day your kitchen is lovely! And marshmallow, the granite pix you posted are really pretty too. Hang in there and as mentioned above, when you put things on the counters and start living with it, you may love the stone.

I find it funny that the question of who paid for it is such a big deal in this thread. Often in threads when a poster says "I want this but DH wants that" many people say "whoever spends more time in the kitchen gets their way." I don't remember ever seeing someone ask "who is paying for it?"


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

ooh! ooh! Marshmallow, with these fabulous countertops, you are that very rare person who can replicate my all-time favorite photo here on GardenWeb Kitchens: hiding chocolate-chip cookies in plain sight! Tell your mom there are always advantages no matter what the choice. :)


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

ROTFL circuspeanut!!!


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Now I want one.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

OMG hahaha circuspeanut I want a chocolate chip cookie!


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Why would you want to hide a chocolate chip cookie??? I have "lost" chocolate chips on my granite. Sometimes fun to find and eat but other times I set my hot tea cup down and make a mess, wasting a chocolate chip.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

I lose coffee beans on my counter. Sometimes when I find them, I'm all "eeeek!!!"


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Great. Now I want--no, I neeeeeed-- a chocolate chip cookie! :D

It is going to be fine, Marshmallow. Once you get everything in place and add your own flair to it, you will see why you liked it in the beginning. Granite does look completely different when it is installed versus it standing up in all its glory in the showroom, and sometimes that can be somewhat of a letdown--especially if it has pieces of bling in it. ;) The pictures you have posted look very lovely. It is natural to have second-thoughts, but I bet you will end up very happy with your choice. I look forward to your pics. :)

Now, back to that cookie....


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

First off, welcome to GW Marshmallow.

Second, Circus Peanut you had me ROFL with that chocolate chip cookie.

Third, if your granite looks anything like what you posted it is going to be lovely. I chose Typhoon Bordeaux and told the fabricator to do their best to use as little of the parts that had black as possible. When my granite was installed they used a lot of the parts that had black in it. As soon as I saw it installed I was so glad that they used the black parts. As a matter of fact, those sections are actually my favorite. Almost a year later and I still smile when I see the beautiful section behind my sink and on my island!


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Hi Marshmallow,

I am very sorry for some of the comments you had to read in this thread. I think your Mom took your advice because she likes your taste. Obviously she didn't have to if she really minded the granite. The important thing now, is to make sure the other decorating choices are subtle and don't compete with the granite. I have learned a lot from Maria Killam's website -- she is a colour expert from Canada (just google her). Her blog is full of good advice. Below, I have listed some of her ideas.

As per Maria Killam ... granite is a "bossy" element in a kitchen. So now that you have one fixed element in a pattern, I would avoid adding any other patterns. For example, avoid a pattern on your floor. Is your floor, by chance, wood (that would be good).

Another important consideration, according to Maria Killam, is to determine the undertone of the colour in the granite. If it is, for example, yellow-beige, you don't want to have a pinky-beige floor (they compete badly). Ideally, you don't want different undertones as they don't play well together. You will likely need to read more on her blog to get this concept fully.

The undertones of the paint colour will also be important to get right. So, floor, counter, and paint should all have the same undertones. I am glad you are planning a plain subway back splash. Is it to be white? Wood is more of a neutral and can go with most undertones. Your chocolate brown and white cabs should cooperate too.

Best of luck. I imagine you will like your granite tons more when all is said and done. Just take time to double check your other decisions to make sure the granite is the star and does not clash with anything else going in.

Carol


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Here is my finished kitchen! It definitely looks nicer with all the appliances and finishes :D My mom thinks it looks great too even though she thinks it looks better at night :S I'm still a little meh about the black spots but I guess thats what makes it look unique :D

 photo d72f4457-d411-4930-9555-7b2d477bea2e_zps3723bf5b.jpg

 photo 566ba5c9-c764-4edd-bbb6-2c8da33127f0_zps151c7e83.jpg

 photo ea03979d-600a-48ca-944e-2422289f5478_zps4870bba0.jpg

 photo image5_zps16ef4732.jpeg

 photo 57356026-7501-425e-a797-3e344ed33983_zps471adaea.jpg

This post was edited by marshmallow45 on Wed, May 28, 14 at 2:24


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

thanks for the update, marshmallow: I love your granite and your cabs and pulls .


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

I think it looks great - especially with the other elements in the space. Have fun and enjoy!!


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Oh,wow. Marshmallow, I am not a granite fanbbecause I don't like specks. I think I love your granite because the dark spots are not specks! Oooo.

I had to laugh again at the cookie on the counter. All through the hoo-ha, I kept thinking someone needed a little cookie dough!


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Even better, Marsh -- you can hide chocolate Oreo chunk cookies on there!


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Marshmallow....It's beautiful! WTG!


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

It's beautiful. It's got character. And now I have a craving for cookie dough. :)


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

I LOVE THAT GRANITE, especially on the black cabinets! It is sooo Cookies and Cream, and that makes my head happy. :o) It will absolutely pop with some accents of minty green or powdery blue. Like an old fashioned ice cream parlor.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

It Is lovely!


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

I actually like the black in the granite. I think it looks beautiful! Sorry you were worrying about the end result, but you did a great jobwith your choice!


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Your mom has a wonderful kitchen! The cookies and cream granite goes great with both the light and dark cabs.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

It looks super and great with your two tone choices. I wish all my "mistakes" looked that good!


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Oops I didn't realize my one picture wasn't working

 photo image_zpsd4570f22.jpeg

circuspeanut omg those cookies look so good... Do you have a recipe for them?


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Wow, Marshmello, what a beautiful room!

(not saying that to dispute your opinion - I loved mdln's response:

Posted by mdln (My Page) on Sun, May 18, 14 at 12:09
Tell your mom you are really sorry, it did not turn out as you expected, and she was right. Then ask if there is anything you can do to make up for it.
Suspect once everything is done, and you have stuff on the counters, it will not be as noticable. Also, the rooms paint color and lighting can alter how countertops look.

Good luck.")

This advice in general

>> Tell your mom you are really sorry, it did not turn out as you expected, and she was right. Then ask if there is anything you can do to make up for it.

can mean so much when delivering an apology.
Yet so few people do that / say that.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

The kitchen is gorgeous!


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

I'm not a granite person, but I think it looks beautiful with the other finishes. I hope you and your mom grow to love it.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

OMG, that is freaking gorgeous, lol, and not a little because it looks just like mine : ))) Seriously, it is beautiful and perfect for your space. It will grow on you, it never looks dirty, easy to get along with, you can decorate around it easily and over time I keep seeing more and more sparkly things in it. I'm glad you and your mama are feeling better about it. I do promise it will grow on you.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Marshmallow45, the granite may not have been what you envisioned but I love it! I love how it goes so well with both the white cabinets and the dark island and looks great with the appliances. The kitchen looks wonderful! I wish it was my kitchen since I keep having one crisis after another and can't seem to get back to finishing my kitchen that I hate so much.


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Marshmellow, is that white springs granite? It looks very similar to mine. Reading this thread I was surprised to see the actual granite being discussed. I have the same handles as you too but I have cherry cabinets.

Love your granite!


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RE: I regret my granite choice..

Oh,wow. Marshmallow, I am not a granite fanbbecause I don't like specks. I think I love your granite because the dark spots are not specks! Oooo.

I had to laugh again at the cookie on the counter. All through the hoo-ha, I kept thinking someone needed a little cookie dough!


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