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texas_gem

How do you keep your sanity?

Texas_Gem
10 years ago

Our remodel started in August and, I guess I am finally reaching my threshold. I currently have no pantry so all my food is in totes, no dining room because it is where all the tools and building supplies are, my mud room only has my washer and dryer hooked up so I have none of my storage and because of all the drywall sanding and concrete grinding, EVERYTHING is a filthy disaster.

I don't even want to be in my house right now. I'm done. I keep closing my eyes and trying to picture it finished but as soon as I open my eyes, I'm greeted with mess.

I'm sure if it were just me and my husband, it wouldn't be such a big deal but we also have 4 kids ranging from 1 year old to 6 years old; in other words the perfect age range for being little tornadoes. Clothes, books, toys, everywhere. Not to mention having to be hyper vigilant in a work zone with small children.

I don't want to complain to my husband, I know he is exhausted. He works a full time job and then gets off work and immediately comes home to work on the remodel. I guess I just needed to rant for a minute.
Unless if course anyone does have some good advice, besides winning the lottery and hiring contractors to come finish it all while we stay in a hotel.

Comments (27)

  • schicksal
    10 years ago

    If it helps any we've been there since July. When not working on something I clean, even if it seems pointless. At least it's less debris that can spread to other areas and make them a mini work zone. Also we spent a weekend in a nearby city for a much needed break.

    Celebrate the milestones too, whenever you get to them.

  • PRO
    Joseph Corlett, LLC
    10 years ago

    "I don't want to complain to my husband, I know he is exhausted."

    You, my dear, are a jewel.

  • annkh_nd
    10 years ago

    Go ahead and dump on us! Hopefully just venting and getting plenty of sympathy here will help you get the strength to open your eyes again.

    Good luck to you! Taking on a major remodel with little kids is a huge undertaking, and I admire you for making it this far!

  • carree
    10 years ago

    If it makes you feel any better, think of all the money you are saving (or at least not spending) and can put towards college education savings. We are not handy, work way too many hours, and paid for tradesmen to do the work.

    But in the end, you still get frustrated and crazy and the littlest things that these supposed experts did on your stuff like scratch a new cabinet, fridge or counter carelessly can make you crazy.

    At least you have more control. And less money going out the door. Breathe deeply and appreciate that the better weather is soon here and being outside will make everything easier. I feel for you, but rest assured ...this too shall pass and your kitchen will be spectacular ...

  • Texas_Gem
    Original Author
    10 years ago

    Thanks guys. It really wasn't so bad until a few weeks ago.

    We built a new addition onto our house for the kitchen so I still had a fully functioning kitchen and the mess was contained in the new space.

    We finally moved into the new kitchen in February and started ripping out where the old kitchen was to build a walk in pantry, expand the mudroom, etc.

    Tonight was just really hard because I was in the kitchen doing dishes and turned around to find my 2.5 year old had pee'd on the floor AND had opened the 3 boxes of clothes I had in the living room to take to charity and thrown them EVERYWHERE!

    The kids are in bed now and I'm having a stiff drink.

    I actually did just have a milestone yesterday. The pantry and mudroom are both drywalled now. So, I'll finish my drink and get in there to start taping and mudding. With any luck, both rooms will be painted and ready to move things in by the middle of next week.

  • deedles
    10 years ago

    Hang in there, it has an end it really does. Good idea on cleaning up even if it seems pointless. Do you have a shopvac that you can keep handy for drywall dust clean up? Drywall dust is the worse, so glad to be done with it!

    Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and do what you have to do to make any part of your day easier. I had to just keep saying "this is how it will be for awhile" for the last 2.5 yrs and now I'm almost done, so there is an end, girl.

    I always like to have one room really clean (bathroom usually) so there was one place to go and shut the door.

    Hugs to you!

  • CEFreeman
    10 years ago

    Well.
    At least he didn't pee in the clothes and you didn't know.

    It'll get better.
    Wish for yourself that this is the most difficult thing you'll ever face. Wouldn't that be a blessing!?!

    I look forward to your pictures!

  • Texas_Gem
    Original Author
    10 years ago

    CEFreeman- Lol, I suppose that's true. The joys of potty training. I have half a mind to put her back in diapers until the remodel is done, I'm just afraid that it wouldn't happen until she is in high school!

  • feisty68
    10 years ago

    Oh, we are not so far into it as you, but I know how you feel. Ditto not wanting to complain to my poor husband who spends his "free" time muttering at cabinets that won't level. The guy should get a medal. I do as much grunt work as I can but he knows the carpentry/electrical/plumbing stuff.

    Make two of these:

    Suffering "Buzzard" (it's a different word that's not allowed)

    1 oz. bourbon
    1 oz. gin
    1 oz. lime juice
    4 oz. ginger ale

    Shake the first three ingredients together with ice and strain into a lowball glass with ice. Top with ginger ale.

    Jazz might help too.

  • romy718
    10 years ago

    It's nice to have that one clean room you can retreat to, especially after the kids go to bed.
    I have to say, your 2.5 year old peeing on the floor made me laugh.
    Hang in there.

  • Texas_Gem
    Original Author
    10 years ago

    Schicksal and deedles- I took your advice and just finished cleaning my master bath. How on Earth did the drywall dust make it in there?!?! It is nice having one "retreat" room.

    Carree- the funny thing is, I always said even if I could afford contractors, I would do the work myself because then it would be done right. I helped my parents build their house from the ground up 20 years ago and I know how to do plumbing, electrical, framing, etc. The only thing we have contracted out on this remodel is having the slab poured and the cabinets built. Well and the granite countertops because its not like I can fabricate my own granite. Guess I'm eating my words now. I know in the end I will be happier because I KNOW it was done right, but right now, I just want it to be done.

    Feisty68- those sound tasty, I will have to pick up some bourbon and gin to try it.

  • 1929Spanish
    10 years ago

    I feel your pain. We added square footage, a bathroom and moved the kitchen.

    I work from home. No office anywhere nearby. We lived with my mom for four months.

    I drank. A lot. I am weak. Do whatever it takes, the process is not easy. But it is worth it!

  • plumberry
    10 years ago

    I can relate though I have no kids. and that you have four makes you a saint that you've come this far. Leave the building to the men, it is not a woman's thing to live amongst this kind of perpetual dust. Just thinking about it makes me cringe. I like the idea of having one clean room for a temporary refuge. Hang in there just a little longer and give yourself kudos -- it will all be worth it in the end.
    My mother did it with 5 kids (Dad was a DIY) she still talks about the time she temporarily had to wash dishes in the bathtub - it was a "highlight". She still has the same kitchen that is over 50 years old and she doesn't want to change a thing.

  • Texas_Gem
    Original Author
    10 years ago

    Plumberry- I have to wonder if the reason she doesn't want to change is because she lived through it before. ;)

    I can't really leave the building to my husband, he didn't grow up with a handyman/carpenter Dad who taught him everything like I did. I'm the one who fixes our cars and has taught him all the electrical, plumbing, etc. Well me and my dad together have taught him. Though after 12 years of marriage and 8 months on this remodel plus 5 months of remodeling our old house, he is pretty good at a lot of it.

  • Cindy103d
    10 years ago

    Your post about the two year old really made me laugh. Sometimes a laugh is all you have left. We've been at our addition/full house remodel for four really long years now. We allowed far too much project creep and have finished each room 95% of the way done before moving on to some other critical activity. (Big mistake, but one we cannot seem to control.)

    I made a list yesterday of everything we need to do to finish up in each room, and it made me want to cry. But then had a good laugh at our foibles and moved on.

  • schicksal
    10 years ago

    >>the funny thing is, I always said even if I could afford contractors, I would do the work myself because then it would be done right

    How true it is... that + saving a mountain of cash is why we DIY. Our place would be a borderline teardown if the repairs were subbed out. There are four tasks that I outsourced because it's either not possible to do safely on my own or because I'm absolutely horrible at them like drywall. I have enough friends and family who had to call people back again and again because of mosaic tile seams and whatnot and would just rather do it correctly on my own.

  • dcward89
    10 years ago

    I am so with ya, girl!! We are doing our reno mostly DIY. It's just my hubby and I and our two fur babies and if I had to throw 4 kids into that mix I think I would lose my mind!! I thought our bedroom would be that clean getaway. It is on another level and we've been keeping the door closed all the time but the dust has gotten in there too. I vacuum the kitchen/dr/lr area every single day and have been trying to get the rest of the house at least 2 or 3 times a week...it's a futile effort but I shudder to think how it would build up if I let it go more than that. Hopefully, hopefully, please God let it be true, we are about done with the plaster/drywall work so maybe things will start to improve. We try to have a sense of humor about everything and try to look ahead to how awesome it's going to be but some days it's hard!!

  • scpalmetto
    10 years ago

    I have to agree with Cindy, I laughed when I read about the two year old. It was probably pretty frustrating at the time but in years to come it will be one of your favorite funny family stories. You are going to have this amazing sense of self satisfaction when this is all over.

    As soon as you finish this last mud job, perhaps you can hire someone just to help vacuum up the big stuff. It won't be as good as if you did it yourself but it will give you a few minutes of relief and a clean spot on the floor for the children to play on. You can fine tune the clean up later one room at a time.

    I so admire your interest and skill. I too have always made sure I knew how to do simple repairs around the house and my favorite tile setter and carpenter is a woman. She is exceptionally careful and cleans up when she is finished so I don't have to.

  • quesera1970
    10 years ago

    Oh gosh Texas_Gem, the idea of four kids between 1 and 6, remodel or not, is enough to make me hyperventilate!
    here's another side. We have 3 kids (2, 4, and 15, the latter with us part time), and moved out for our remodel (kitchen and 2 bathrooms) and did not DIY. So yes, we saved ourselves the hell you are going through BUT we spent a lot of money (including a months' rent where nothing happened at the house--argh) but the worst part is that I wasn't around to supervise and a million mistakes were made (cranberry grout instead of gray is a funny one, incorrect supporting beams installed and needing to be ripped out and replaced, noted when giant cracks appeared on the wall less funny). Because we paid to be out of the house we had a clause in the contract that our price is reduced by 100/day (covering our rent) so that has made the work go faster (we had the kitchen and 2 baths and windows done in 4 months) but there's been a lot of sloppiness. When you are finally done and your house is exactly the way you want it, you will be so happy and it will all be a hazy memory of something terribly uncomfortable but what you got out of it was so amazing you forget all about the pain (kind of like childbirth!).

  • robo (z6a)
    10 years ago

    I thought I was going to have a stress attack in our eight-week, kid-less renovation, so I don't really have some good advice for you! You're a strong lady!!

    I always did feel better after I cleaned, even though I knew it was kind of pointless.

  • Lisa
    10 years ago

    "How do you keep your sanity?"

    The short answer is, you don't! The good news is that it will return when the remodel is finished:). Good luck!

  • debrak2008
    10 years ago

    Here is a link to a thread called "Remembering funny threads". When you a chance read the thread and all the attached links.

    If anyone has any other funny threads please add them to the thread.

    Here is a link that might be useful: Funny Threads

  • feisty68
    10 years ago

    I'm also planning a candlelight dinner tonight. I figure we won't be able to see the mess ;)

  • Texas_Gem
    Original Author
    10 years ago

    I just want to say thanks again to everyone.

    Last night I did a thorough ceiling to floor cleaning of my master bath. I'm honestly amazed and ashamed that I haven't done a thorough cleaning in quite a while, it just seemed pointless, you know? Why bother spending an hour or two getting this room perfect when it is going to be covered in dust and detritus tomorrow?

    You guys were right though, I thoroughly cleaned it last night and went to bed exhausted. Tonight, after getting the kids in bed, I took a nice long bath in my clean bathroom and was able to escape it all for a while.

    I feel refreshed and able to tackle the last of it in this homerun stretch.

    Let's hope this feeling lasts until tomorrow. :)

  • CEFreeman
    10 years ago

    Cindy, a list is a great idea.
    I found one I'd made about about 3 years ago. I was so heartened and shocked at the many, small things I was able to cross off. I taped it inside a cabinet door to help myself when I feel overwhelmed.

    1929Spanish, I almost spit my wine. "I drink. I am weak."
    Kin I get a hellya!? I'm with you there!

  • Texas_Gem
    Original Author
    10 years ago

    CEFreeman- hellya from me!! I feel like this reno is turning me into an alcoholic!

    I drink almost every night AND I eat crappy food that is quick and easy to prepare. I've gained 20 lbs in the past 8 months since the reno started. Looking forward to the summer when it is done and I can cook better and get some real exercise.

  • eam44
    10 years ago

    Thanks for asking! I exfoliate regularly, hydrate a lot both inside and out, and I use this great glycolic acid peel and a moisturizer with argan oil and...

    Oh Sanity, with an S. Forget it.

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