Your back is against the wall! I'd show him pictures of dark cabs and dark granite! Will he see the light?

I don't know...he pretty much has blinders on all the time and not much light gets in there =)

Is it okay to have dark cabs and dark granite if there isn't a lot of natural light in the kitchen? Will it be a dungeon kitchen?

He actually just came in and saw me looking at granite pictures and I fessed up....I think he's frustrated with me.

I'm thinking that shaker style cabs would help-maybe a sparkly or shiny backsplash? Black pulls and knobs? I'm trying to find photos that may inspire me.....thank you for replying-I feel better knowing people are willing to help me!

What about gray painted cabs? There have been some threads on here lately with them and they are beautiful. I think a nice match for uba tuba

I'm not much help except to say I like the kitchen you are describing...white shaker, sparkly backsplash, black knobs. Maybe we should have a vote on the website and see if that convinces him. Have you seen houzz.com? There are a TON of kitchens posted. I am going very contemporary but in my other life I would want a white/cream traditional kitchen. OTOH, I think the kitchen you have planned will be very nice, it is just a different look.

Here is a link that might be useful: kitchens

Have you looked at the Finished Kitchens Blog? It has photos of people's kitchens. You might find something you like there.

http://finishedkitchens.blogspot.com/

I have designed hundreds of kitchens ... paint VS stain always falls down gender lines. If he hates it...you really shouldn't force him, on the other hand you shouldn't have to settle either.
You both need to go to the book store. Get a cup of coffee, and grab a stack of the same kitchen design magazines. Bring your sticky notes... Each of you mark the pages that are appealing to you. Find the pictures you both like. That is the style you both can be happy with.
If you are working with a kitchen designer they should be able to get you to a color that works well with Ubatuba. The lighter cabinetry does look good with this stone, Natural Maple types or wheat colors are great, they pull the gold. I have had many many clients pair it with cherry. However, that is not my favorite, as it can look a bit like Christmas depending how green the Uba is.
For the Dark cabinetry in a dark kitchen... Dark cabinets are elegant. You certainly can have dark cabinets without the natural light - You will need to install lighting to make up for the lack of window light. Under counter lighting for task, and above cabinet lighting will create drama. Radiant lighting will brighten - My only concern regarding dark cabinets is for the at home mom, or retiree who tends to get a bit depressed in winter... Lighter cabinetry will feel cheerier.
Hope this helps, Good Luck...
Linda Berg
ACW Kitchens and Bath
WWW.ACWkitchens.com

Here is a link that might be useful: ACW Kitchen & Bath

It's only fair that he knows you are lack luster about the combination, just like it was right for him to voice his distaste for white cabinets (my favorite). You may not find one that both of you are ecstatic about, but it shouldn't be one person is excited and the other is just going along with it either.

I personally was going to keep what we have (white cabinets) until I was out looking for something else and there I saw my perfect cabinet...aluminum framing with frosted glass. It was love at first sight.

DH and I have gone through both this sites finished kitchens and Houzz. We let each other know what our thoughts are.

How about birch? Light for you, wood for him.

Pillog is right - natural red birch goes well with dark granite - I have blue pearl but uba tuba would look good with it too. I have pictures in the Finished Kitchen Blog.

When you love it, you'll know it - don't sign anything until you are sure! This decision is one you'll be living with for a long time. It's a good idea to take a little more time to make the decision and it be the right decision for both of you. More research will pay off in the long run - and pay handsomely!!

I was going to suggest like a couple of others - the natural maple. It would look great with the granite and appear to be somewhat contemporary. We have natural maple with a dark granite (wenge) in our bathrooms and I love it. It would be too much wood for me in a kitchen but each to his own.

I agree with the light wood. I personally really like this combination, especially when its contemporary!

For a contemporary kitchen, I think I'd like the natural maple, birch or some other light wood, maybe because white seems to be going traditional and older period styles right now, but also natural is more "green" and more contemporary. I don't think a natural light wood would feel much darker than white. And remember, we all work in our kitchens when it's completely dark outside, so every kitchen needs adequate lighting regardless of the natural light that comes in during the day.

Maybe you just need to move your idea of wood cabinets away from midtone or dark to natural and find something you love the grain and feel of. But if you really just love and long for white cabinets, you need to spend some more time looking, thinking, talking honestly with each other and looking at what fits the house.

Do you do most of the cooking? If so tell your husband that you will be in the kitchen most of the time cooking and this is what makes you happy. You need to tell him how you feel. You don't want to put in mid tone cabinets and then find out he would have gone with the white ones if he knew how strongly you felt, and wanted them.

Let him have his way with the decorating of another area of the house, but tell him the kitchen is your domain and you have your heart set on a white kitchen. Tell him if he wants those cabinets then HE can be in the kitchen cooking and admiring them. That should do it...LOL!

Ubatuba reads pretty black from a distance, but up close it's quite interesting with tan/gold/green flecks. Can you bring a sample home and live with it for a while?

I did a low-budget facelift in my kitchen using inexpensive ubatuba. I painted my cabinets BM Linen White and the walls Restrained Golf.

ummm...that would be Restrained GOLD....

Yes - I agree completely with the suggestions of a light-mid colored wood; birch or maple. Maybe you could find a maple with some really beautiful grain? I can see how cherry might get a little X-mas-y. Maybe adding a lot of glass to the cabinet doors would lighten things? You could use in-cabinet lighting perhaps? Not sure if that would get too fussy....

I can see that if dh's reaction to white cabinets is so strong because of the emotional association with his mother's kitchen, you may have a difficult time convincing him otherwise. Emotional associations are hard to move. OTOH, knowing what he's reacting to may be a big help. It's possible you could actually *talk* through what is upsetting him carefully, and lay out your concerns with lightness, etc. If his is an emotional hang-up, it could be that you could get a handle on this decision by attending to the emotions that are nickering in at the sides...? Obviously your kitchen doesn't have to be his mothers'; and once you determine this perhaps you'll be able to figure out how to make it unambiguously yours without reference to something derivative.

I love that golf color, btw...

I agree 100% LDB63,

You are not ready to commit to a color. All the ideas are
excellent. Birch, Maple, Gray...

But what do you really love and what does your DH really
love. I would say have a carpet picnic with a bottle of
wine, brie, crackers, strawberries and make this into a
beautiful project. Get your library books, magazines and
sit down to choose all your favorites. After compare
notes, share ideas and compromise.

(And if that does not work there is always Laxsupermom's
tips on getting your kitchen done. Another thread)

You might discover you can do both. Midtown with a few
white accent pieces and ubatuba.

~boxer

Take a dark marker to these and pretend it is ubatuba.

Image from Shrader and co.

My DH didn't want creamy cabinets either - until I brought samples of the birch and the creamy cabinets home. We have red birch flooring and while the birch looked good, the creamy really makes the floor pop. He was sold. Try looking at the options in your home, with your flooring and the other woods and decor. Good luck.

If your DH gets to pick the cabinets, then you should get to pick the granite! Fair? Look at all the lighter granites: giallos, St Cecilia, colonial gold, cream etc. They go great with mid tone cabinets. When you look at the Finished Kitchen Blog, you can look under the granites, and view the kitchen that way. This will lighten up the kitchen for you, and keep the cabinets in the wood that your husband likes.
When I was going through my kitchen choices (the trauma-lol!) some have said to me that couples get divorced over kitchen remodeling. Although I do not believe this to be true, you do see how it does but a strain on a marriage. I am lucky that we both agreed on the color of the cabinets, but I have a granite counter top that I would not have chosen because DH was getting tired of shopping around. This of course made the backsplash choice very difficult.
This brings up my next question to you, if you go with the wood and Uba, what do you see as the backsplash? You might want to have this conversation with DH.

Listen to your gut and don't move forward until you are both happy with your choices.

Oh my goodness....I'm actually sitting here with tears in my eyes over all the help you've given me.....

I will definitely make him look at more pictures 'cause he really hasn't looked at ANY.....and I've looked at a ton at FKB. I'll go back over all your replies and check each one out with him. I will check out Houzz.

Lax's plan would surely work. Be right back....

YUP!!! Cream cabinets it is!! LOL....

Okay, I feel much better and more confident that we will find something we both love. I will keep you all posted. Thank you so much.......
Heather

Heather,
You are adorable.

For those who have no idea what I was saying by
Laxsupermom's tips. Read the link.

And so sorry to LaxSM, She is not all about this link
but actually has fantastic kitchen ideas and is one of
the those kind souls on GW.

~boxer
Who needs to get a goalie stick strung ASAP...

Here is a link that might be useful: scoll down the GW post to Laxsupermom

While I love creamy white cabinets, I know it's not for everyone. If my husband were against them, I would find a light wood, with lots of detailing...plate racks, glass uppers, display niches...so I could see my china and other pretties. This would break up the wood look and make it a little easier to work around.

Your granite would be pretty, but I think finding a backsplash to go with it is an excellent idea! If your husband finds a backsplash he loves that doesn't go with the granite, he might be more open to a lighter choice. There are some beautiful granites that look almost like marble. You'd get your white and he'd get some wood...and granite! :)

Best of luck with your kitchen!

Here is one for you. It came to mind instantly, since I love this backsplash. But I think it is a good combo of medium wood and the Ubba. Clearly, that Sumi-E backsplash
http://mosaicsource.com/largebricktemplate-3-12.aspx
helps make it what it is.

Here is a link that might be useful: Ubba example

Thank you boxerpups for the link to Laxsupermom's inspirational advice....We're in the beginning stages of building our new home.....If we do Laxsupermom 36 hour rule, the arithmetic is a bit frightening.

I think if what you love is cream-colored cabinets, you should talk to DH about it. Find pictures of creamy cabs with a dark counter (soapstone, granite, quartz, whatever) and show him how gorgeous it is. He might surprise you. And if he doesn't, if he's obsessed with stained wood, why not a very light stain--say, silver birch with a dark counter? That could look really nice (example at link), and it might be a great compromise where you want creamy cabs and he wants stained wood.

**What about gray painted cabs? There have been some threads on here lately with them and they are beautiful.**

I have gray painted cabs in a kitchen that faces north and doesn't get enough light. I cannot recommend AGAINST them strongly enough. Don't do it! Don't do it! We're remodeling our kitchen and I guarantee there will be no gray cabinets anywhere. In combination with the relative lack of direct sunlight, it just makes it so GLOOMY.

And also, in a kitchen that doesn't get that much light, dark cabinets with dark granite is just not wise. It would suck out what little light there was in the room. It would almost certainly feel like a cave. Dark lower cabinets with LIGHT counters and light (cream?) uppers could work really well, but not dark cabs/dark counter, and especially not dark uppers. There are kitchens where those combinations work well, but not kitchens that don't have enough light to begin with.

Here is a link that might be useful: {{!gwi}}

Boxerpups, I love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love that second photo, with the classic shaker deep honey-colored base cabs and the cream uppers. Thank you for posting that! It's exactly what I've been thinking of doing, and now I have an inspiration photo...

Hello everyone-

I wanted to let you know that we decided on our cabinets and I am so much happier!

We had a meeting with our KD the other day and I "confessed" to him that I didn't really want the maple "toffee" colored cabinets we were going to order. He mentioned birch wood (which so many of you did =) and a different cabinet line-Bertch actually.

I also decided I wanted a different style of door; more contemporary and less traditional (which DH said was okay) and the birch wood stain just a little bit darker than natural...which I loved....and DH did too. (It's Bertch Legacy Lexington in Harvest in case anyone is wondering =)

It ends up being approx $4k more expensive with birch(even though maple costs more) because I did go with almost all drawers and got a bunch more "features" that I wouldn't have had otherwise.

Anyway, I wanted to thank all of you again and am now excited about my kitchen again. You guys are the best!
Heather

Yahoo!

My neighbor said this when a car salesperson was trying to talk him into a car that wasn't the color he wanted: "I don't buy SHOES in the wrong color. I'm not going to buy a BMW in the wrong color!"

Point being: color IS a big deal, and it's a bigger deal on higher ticket items like cabinets, especially since you'll be living with your cabinets a long long time. (Much longer than the shoes you wouldn't buy because you don't like the color.)

There are myriad choices for cabinet finishes and colors, and most of them will be beautiful with Uba Tuba. I hope you and your DH can find one that you both love!

FWIW: A neighbor has cherry cabs with Uba Tuba. Her kitchen gets borrowed light from adjacent spaces, as it's near the center of the house. The kitchen is beautiful; good lighting (pendants etc.) help.

Glad you found something you both love-- the difference will be more than worth it. You'll love the drawers and upgrades too.

that's awesome news, congrats!!

Heather... that is wonderful to hear.

i'm really happy that you're happy. :)

here's birch in the harvest finish:
{{!gwi}}

and the lexington door (in cherry chestnut finish):
{{!gwi}}