I vote for soapstone. It will give more of a contrast which might be needed and it will be a bit warmer than the stainless. There is a lot of white going on and a little darker countertops will ground the kitchen. I love the wall fireplace and the pendant lights!! Can't wait to see it all put together.

I vote for soapstone. It too will have patina though, but that's part of its charm, if you are OK with that. I just love how soapstone feels, that soft velvety texture, so much better than stainless. Be careful which soapstone you choose -there's a lot of variety out there, and some soapstones are much softer than others which will be more prone to chipping. If you see soapstone names you like, but aren't sure, post the names here for feedback.

As an aside, what backsplash tile is that? It looks like what I want too.

I think stainless is a nice warm material that is great for a modern look or a vintage look, but I think you've got something different altogether going on and soapstone just goes better here.

All three of you for soapstone! Thank you. We are leaning that way too (I think N is already there), but I had almost hoped someone would try to persuade us to go back to stainless. We're starting to question our judgment. If we decide on soapstone, I will post our variety as soon as I know. I think the fabricators in our area import stone varieties from Brazil in general. There is a fabricator who uses Canadian soapstone, but to my eye it has too much movement for our kitchen, and apparently is much softer than the Brazilian varieties.

Shannonplus2, someone asked about our tile in the baths forum (I put a link to the post below--a picture of our tile, installed, and then my answer are about halfway down the thread). We had quite a bit left over from our master bath renovation, but when we tried to get more, we discovered that the factory that produced it in Sri Lanka had closed down (probably during all the political strife in that country). We were able to track it down at a place in California that still had quite a stockpile because it was such a popular field tile and they shipped across the continent to us. It is a mechanical ceramic tile. Its name is Lanka Tile and the colour is alabaster. I don't know how much will be left now, but please let me know if you'd like more information. It is a very nice subway tile.

Here is a link that might be useful: subway tile in the bath forum

Another vote for soapstone for the reasons already stated in the previous posts. Also, what sink are you getting? If you haven't chosen one yet, I'll be presumptuous (LOL), and suggest that the Blanco Silgranite sink in the anthracite color looks great with soapstone. I am prejudiced - while I do not have soapstone counters, I do have the Silgranite Super Single in the anthracite color and think it's awesome. The most easy care sink I've ever had--I will never go back to a stainless sink. Though, perhaps you've already picked your sink, in which case, I am very curious to know which one to go with the rest of your lovely choices.

Sorry for sidetracking a bit. I just wanted to give my $.02 FWIW.

If I had to pick just one, I'd choose soapstone. But I like 2 or 3 countertop materials in a kitchen, so if I were making your choices, I'd look for a way to use both (like stainless in a baking area?) Off to look at your blog. :o)

I vote soapstone. I love stainless however I was just working at my children's school in their kitchen and I could not help but notice how very badly their stainless countertops were. I think all that scratching would bother me.

OK, I just perused your blog but didn't see a layout anywhere (except for your new kitchen space), so I'm not sure what kind of cabinet configuration you're planning or where it might make sense to use stainless and soapstone. I remember now seeing your post about your marble island, so I know that's another surface in the mix.

Anyway, my vote still stands - I would use both if you have an area where it makes sense to work in a third surface.

Soapsone! For the same reasons. I would be careful of those that have crazy movement. I don't think it would go with your more sophisticated kitchen.

Three more for soapstone (with stainless as a secondary option)!
Alwaysfixin, you're not presumptuous, but we do already have our sinks. They are stainless, and were purchased initially to be welded into the steel counter. I'm sure you're right about the silgranite. In fact I think I recall photo of a soapstone island with prep sink of silgranite that I shocked to learn wasn't soapstone. Does the dark colour ever make cleaning difficult?

Worldmom, I do like your idea for stainless as a third countertop material, but it may not work out given our configuration. Also, at this point we'd already have two different fabricators (one for the marble and one for either the stainless or soapstone). I don't know if I can bear a third. Although, come to think of it, we will need a stainless fabricator to for the vent hood cover for our range hood, so I guess we have a third man already. And you're right: I don't think I have posted our overall layout anywhere. I'll try to scan in our cabinetmaker's plans and elevations and post them. We've been living this for so long I forget that some context might be missing.

Dreamywhite, we loved the idea of stainless, too, but that scratching has been exactly our experience. I'm not sure how long it would take for all the scratches to run together to form a more or less even patina of age, but it might be too long for us. That said, I'm having trouble getting rid of the idea of stainless. It's been part of the plan for so long.

I think all of your choices are pretty. But I would choose the soapstone for the contrast. Your colors are what I live with and to me it is very calming. Love your shorebirds, pendants and the brick. Looks like it will be a serene, elegant kitchen.

Another vote for soapstone. I love the contrast it will provide with your cabs and the marble.

Sandn - in answer to your question, no, the dark anthracite color does not make cleaning more difficult. It's extremely easy care. The Silgranit material appears to repel dirt and grease. I sometimes clean my sink because I feel I ought to, not cause it looks dirty. Also, our water is slightly hard, but now we don't have the water spots or dinginess which we had with stainless. There have been a lot of threads on this forum about silgranit, so you could do a search, or post more questions if you are interested.

I guess I'll stand alone here.
It seems like you were going for a tone-on-tone, soft and muted approach from the beginning, which I prefer to stark and jarring contrast, so I vote stainless. It will allow your shorebirds, lighting, etc. to provide the color and impact, and overall, be more light and relaxing, I think. But I also think my stainless looks better with scratches. Maybe get brushed stainless to begin with?

I wanted to warn to be cautious if you're changing a long-dreamed of vision. Sometimes it can be a good thing, but sometimes we get a little bored, or tempted by a new idea. Just make sure that when it's done and you walk into it for the next couple decades, you'll be happy with the choice, not wish you'd stuck with your initial plan.

I changed my vision, so am not against doing it. I went from stronger, bolder colors and realized I wanted to walk in a feel a sigh of relief and quiet, not have the drama and intensity of the darker colors with more contrast I'd initially chosen. Really try to envision walking into the space in the morning... sitting in it enjoying your favorite beverage or having a quiet conversation... working earnestly trying to get a meal on the table...gazing at it at night when it's all cleaned up... glancing in as you walk by the room. Different moods and different times. 'See' the overall vision you prefer and which of the counters suits that best.

Soapstone is my vote.
But which one? You mentioned Brazil or Canadian...

Beatrice

Beatrice unoiled

Green SS

Piracema

Yet another vote for soapstone here! No doubt stainless can work in just the way Rhome has mentioned. But I'm looking at it from just the opposite direction. Instead of seeing the black of the soapstone as "stark and jarring", I'm thinking it will provide a subtle but effective "punch" in the color scheme. Of course you will also achieve contrast with your cookware, accessories, art, etc. But the dark soapstone will get you there in a more anchoring and determined kind of way. Whatever you choose, though, even if it's stainless, it's looking like you are on the way to one seriously gorgeous kitchen!

Sorry I missed you, Breezygirl.
Maggie 08, I appreciate your vote of confidence--glad you like our other choices. And you, too, flwrs n co.
Boxerpups, thank you for the photographs. I like the Beatrice for its linear veining. I'm not sure what our local selection will be like, or whether the stones will bear the same names. I can hardly wait to see them in person.
Rhome410, thank you for standing alone. That is exactly my fear: that a long held and calculated plan will change on a whim, a whim that we will have to live with for a very long time. It's completely nervewracking and you expressed it very well.
Marthavila, I'm glad your considered comments followed Rhome's, because yours are in line with the way we're beginning to think. Still it is difficult to let go of a long held plan. Last time, ironically, our last minute change was to take the planned contrast out of our master bathroom in favour or a more unified and monochromatic scheme, and I'm so glad we did. All the same, I don't want the kitchen to look spotty and I think the soapstone might serve to tie things together. I'll try to post plans and maybe more photos to give a better idea of the space.

I vote soapstone, but why not wood if you are concerned about neutrality? It's very durable. And perhaps you can get your stainless steel element though a sink, a range, and other appliances and accessories?

My kitchen will have soapstone (picked out today),marbe and wood, my holy trinity of counter surfaces.

Great ideas for your space so far - you are listening to your needs which is so important.

I'm glad you understood what I meant.
Sorry, though, that I used the word "jarring" which came across a little more negative than I meant! (I do still think there's a starkness to a black and white contrast, and don't mean that as negative, just as observation.)

:-)

Best wishes. Everyone is right, that there is no 'wrong' here...Either has their own merits and will look great...Just depends on how you want it to look.

I understood what you meant also, Rhome! :-) One person's "stark" is another one's "sharp" lol!

Thank you, all.
Everyone is so considerate of each other on this forum. And, yet, people do feel free to give honest opinions, which is what makes all the advice so useful. It's a civilized space for discussion. I agree, Rhome, there are no absolute answers, but the dissenting voice is often the most powerful. Opinions and sensibilities change. It's great to know we've considered many different perspectives. It is so easy to have tunnel vision.
10Kdiamond, we did consider wood, which is beautiful, but we decided against it.
I'm posting some floorplans (hand-drawn, because my cabinetmaker's CAD drawings are so full of specs that they are hard to read. If you can see past the picture quality, you'll get an idea of our layout. The biggest change is that everywhere I drew a bank of 3 drawers is now a bank of 4 drawers. We measured everything, and decided four was the way to go for us. As things stand, the island counter will be marble, and the perimeter counter s.s. (soapstone or stainless steel).

Here is a whole room floorplan including the eating area (fireplace is on east wall above the table):

Another vote for soapstone! When I look at these photos I think of a Hamptons beach house, Diane Keaton style...Classic! can't even imagine stainless in this picture. Soapstone will tie in nicely with the marble and subway tile. Honestly, don't see the stainless working, too industrial..sorry...I know you love it and ultimately that is what counts. Your kitchen plan looks beautiful! Can't wait to see the final pics.

On the west wall renderings, it says marble counter. Is that counter going to be marble? In terms of the soapstone, I'm assuming you're going for a black color as opposed to a green colored soapstone. I think you need to decide if you want a black and white kitchen, because I think that's the way it will read. Maybe take a look at some white cabinet with black counter kitchens and see if that's what you want. I'm not sure I'm loving how the black soapstone would look with the brick in the dining area. Good luck! These are difficult decisions.

Un-oiled soapstone. Softer looking than black.

I vote soapstone. It will go great with your other materials and will lend more warmth than the stainless.

LOVE that fireplace!

As an aside - can you share where you got those lovely pendants?

Thank you, all, once again!
Diy crazed, we are living with two Ikea "Udden" units flanking the range right now. They are topped with stainless counters and one has a small integral sink. They've been surprisingly functional and it was the convenience of being able to set hot heavy pans right on them and not having to worry about stains that first made us consider the stainless. The look, especially in winter, leaves me a little cold. One of my favorite kitchens in my files has ivory cabinets and zinc counters. We were so keen for zinc in the early days (zinc counters paired with a patterned encaustic tile floor a la french bistro--at least as reimagined by Thomas Keller--if you can believe it). In the end we decided to try be truer to the Victorian provenance of our house, but with quite a bit of allowance for contemporary conveniences and eclecticism. I'm having a difficult time visualizing the soapstone though. Thank you for your read of our kitchen. We may be too close to evalutate.
Malhgold, those are my concerns exactly. The marble reference in the drawing is from an earlier iteration. We've made the decision for perimeter counters to be all one material. But I do know what you mean about the soapstone changing the tone. Next to black, lighter colours often read as white and texture fades. The other surfaces are not white because we were going for a kind of neutrals plus texture look. One of the considered options we will still have is to put a different patina on the bricks, or even paint them in the future. I installed them myself, to match the existing brick and concrete pillar. We're also having our cabinets hand painted on site, so one thing we've been contemplating is painting the island much darker. The entrance to the kitchen is through a small library (not yet installed) with dark stained, possibly black bookshelves and a white oak herringbone floor that our neighbour, a master woodworker, is going to be installing for us in the spring. Anyway, all this is to say that we've tried to build allowances for change into our plans and although the overall light look was our favourite for some time, we're starting to feel the need for some anchoring.
Kitchendetective, unoiled soapstone is definitely something I'll consider. It looks almost like zinc unoiled and I think that softer colour will pick up some of the more subtle veining in the marble. I'm just concerned that it will darken regardless.--but the evolution of its surface is also appealing.
Finally after my long winded response, Vtkitchengirl. My pendants are called "Franklin pendant". Their finish is antique silver (and they do tarnish!). I bought mine at Ginger's in Toronto, but if you google the name, I think you'll find other distributors in the US.

Maybe paint the walls a more "contrasting" color. If you initially wanted a neutral palette, I'm just concerned that the black counter is going to take you to the other end of the spectrum. Now..I have to say, I am not much into contrast. I have black perimeter counters with black counters and a rift cut oak island with marble counters. Maybe what you're afraid of is the kitchen looking "cold"? If that's the case, I don't think the black counters will change that.

I think that was part of my point, although not well-articulated, that you would lose the depth and variation of your non-white/almost-white light colors in contrast with the black or almost black, as it commanded more attention. Just a whole different look.

But I've said that enough and really posted this time to ask this...
Won't unoiled soapstone look bad in places after awhile? I love the look of unoiled, but wouldn't want dark splotches where the counter got oiled through use, so it looked dirty around the heavy use areas.

Malhgold and Rhome410,
Your points are very well taken. I have noticed, though, that if a dark surface is horizontal (with the obvious exception of flooring) it has far less influence on the general tone of the room than if it continues up the wall (even in a small backsplash). In addition, most of the counter will be illuminated by counter height windows (by day). It will be a different look, granted, but in the past few days we have been pouring over our reference files and online sources. We notice that many of the light rooms we love often have substantial hits of black or other dark materials without the overall look becoming one of contrast. I would love to post some of the images that have influenced our decision (we are 90% for soapstone as long as we can find stone we like), but I'm not sure if I will be in violation of copyright.
Rhome, from what I understand of soapstone, all oil remains on the surface where it can oxidize and appear quite dark, but is always possible to remove. I think we will probably oil or wax the counter initially and allow it to lighten. The wildcard of the patina appeals to us somewhat, and we like the idea that it could always be refinished to its original raw state, or oiled to maximum blackness. We do like to keep our options open.
I really appreciate this discussion and the perceptive comments. The backsplash and paint could change once the primed cabinets and counters are in place (although we have the tile it could be put to use in our ensuite bath once we get to that stage). No doubt I will be posting again as things happen. With luck cabinet installation begins next Monday. This coming week I am going to try to get out to see the soapstone and revisit our marble, so I can make a final decision and schedule the templating immediately following the cabinet installation. Exciting and fraught days ahead!

I have noticed, though, that if a dark surface is horizontal (with the obvious exception of flooring) it has far less influence on the general tone of the room than if it continues up the wall (even in a small backsplash).

I am not trying to argue with you at all, and I've already said that either could be a lovely choice...But want you to remember that photos and real life are different. You are taller than the counters, and work directly on/over them, so even though flat, they're significantly weighted in visual impact from within the room. I agree though, that less of an impact, overall than if they were up the wall...But I didn't think that was under consideration. ;-)

I have two houses with Shaded White and it's the most changeable color in their palette. It's a kind of watery pond color, alternately gray, green, taupe with a flash of violet in some afternoon lights.

My worry with soapstone, unless just the right green or gray, is that it would push that color to look quite dull. It would be much easier to go with stainless or a marble which have a less dense surface visually.

Slipper Satin is another very subtle color. Gorgeous with SW. However, with those a lot will depend on light in the room and how it affects the undertones. If you choose soapstone and don't change those colors, I'd be sure to bring a sample of the exact slab to try with those colors in situ -- both daytime and at night with the same color temp of bulbs that will be used.

This I-have-I-died-and-gone-to-heaven House Beautiful kitchen was just posted on Johnliu's "stainless steel" thread. I refer you to it because of the grayish-white subways and the Pietra Cardoza c-tops.

Here is a link that might be useful: March House Beautiful Kitchen

Checking back...
True, Rhome410, true. I'm planning to mock up something tomorrow with black gesso (very flat), that I'll tint to a good approximation of soapstone to see if I like it on the counters and take it with me, along with all of my other samples of trim and tile and paint, to the soapstone place. Rococogurl, we have shaded white and slipper satin in several different spaces in our house and are aware of its changeability. That said, we never shy away from repainting. We can actually have the counters in place before the painting of the cabinets begins (one of my big reasons for wanting the cabinets hand painted, besides the look), so that will be a decision for another day.
Marthavila, thank you for the link. The overall French farmhouse look is too rustic for our Victorian (as I'm sure you realize), but I do like the slightly darker grout in the subway tiles with the Pietra Cardoza (which I thought I understood was not a true soapstone, but gorgeous nonetheless). Thank you for spotting that.
We are so grateful for all of this input. It challenges us to really think things through, and helps us acknowledge our own doubts.

Okay, here's one more question to throw into the mix if anyone is still reading.
Our countertop will run back to meet the windows, but the sill must still be built up by about the thickness of the stone. This photograph shows you the kind of thing I mean.

I think it needs to match whatever counter material you choose to do on the perimeter cabinets.

Sandn - I'm dying to know how you're kitchen's doing now after reading all this! Can you please let us know? It may be that everyone else is in the loop and you have info and/or pics elsewhere!

I came across this thread only now for the first time cause I hadn't checked in with Gardenweb in so long (undoubtably having left an unfinished thread of my own, never to be seen again) and I had to do a google search for my name on gardenweb to get in here since searching within the site lead to nothing under my name except one extremely old post! Bummer, not to be able to find old posts anymore. :( Anyway this one popped up via google, because you'd written my name!

Thanks for the sweet comment at the start about our stainless counters. While it appears you've gone the soapstone route (ironically which was my long-time plan until I switched myself at the end - haha), I thought I'd point out the main thoughts and discoveries I've had about stainless in an older period kitchen in case you have future readers contemplating stainless! Post-edit: it was so long - what I had to say (typical me) that I decide to put it in a separate thread. :) Look for it if you want. Just thought I'd share what I've figured out about stainless - particularly in an older style kitchen.

I can't wait to see your gorgeous soapstone. Mmmm...all those soapstone choices. Please point me in the right direction!