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Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Posted by khallock (My Page) on
Mon, Feb 25, 13 at 9:30

Ugh! I have this huge thing to rethink now.

DH has decided that the one thing he has to have in our new kitchen is a nice big built-in fridge. And he's not paying $10k for this either. He was looking at a BlueStar range with me the one time he agreed to go look at ranges and the shop owner showed him a 64" built in refridgerator, and now he has his heart set on that. The problem is that the wall where our 36" fridge was set to go in the new layout is only 61" long. I was going to put a 24" tall pantry cabinet + 36" fridge there. Now hubby wants to move doorways to gain a few more inches so he can have these 64" side by side electrolux units.

He said if I get my 36" range, he should get his built-in fridge. but I am afraid the space just isnt right for what he wants. He would settle for 2 24" units but the only ones I've found (Liebherr) seem kind of small. The fridge says its 13.8 cubic feet of space. Thats smaller than the fridge space in my old 25 cubic foot side by side Kitchen aid that is 36" wide.

He wants the fridge and freezer to be the same width. So a regular 48" fridge wont work.

Here is the layout I am planning on. Except now that fridge wall will probable be taking up entirely by a side by side built in fridge and we'd have to put a 24" wide pantry in the corner to the left of the range.

So will some kind of built in fridge work here? I feel like DH is not going to give in, and if he did I will be reminded of how he didnt get what he wants for the rest of our life together.


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Put the fridge there, but put the freezer somewhere else like a pantry (?) or the range run. You don't use a freezer nearly as much, and one of the advantages of choosing separate units is the ability to split their location. Look at Rhome's kitchen where she has two fridges and a freezer, but split.

But......how many in your family? If you don't approach her number, then maybe you both should rethink the jumbotrons in the kitchen. Yes, they are nice to have, but reading this site will give you appliance lust that your lifestyle and family number may not support in real life, especially compared with the homes around you. Take a look at some open houses in homes in your neighborhoods that are for sale. See what the Jones have done. No reason to be ahead of them unless you don't mind spending the money on the luxury. Plenty of foodies around that will have better cooking equipment than their neighbors and plenty of audophiles with 50K sound systems too. IF that's your love, and your priority, then you'll do it no matter what. But, be sure that that IS you, and it's not just the "I WANT" syndrome kicking in from reading this site a bit too much.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Can he tell you what exactly he likes about the built in? You can build the cabinetry around a regular fridge so it looks very similar.

This also adds a decent amount to the budget, I would guess. He may not understand that, so bringing him in on exactly what the current plan (plus 10% for the unexpected) and showing him what his fridge plus wall modification would add might help.

Of course, if he thinks the price tag is worth it, that makes thing tough. My DH has to have a double bowl sink and decided a built in Advantium would be awesome. Our tiny kitchen needs all the counter and storage I can manage, but he got the exta 33 inches for those items.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Yes see, I am perfectly happy with a regular 36' fridge. I dont need or want a built in model.

DH is the one that wants this. And since I want a 36" range instead of a 30" one, he feels he should get to have this. He doesnt visit this site so seeing what people on here have has no effect on him. I'd gladly give him the 48" built in fridge but 64" seems a little atrocious.

We only have 4 people in the house. 2 adults and 2 small children.

I feel like the 36" range is justified since its not that big. I dont consider a 36" range a jumbotron, do most people? Plus we have a larger extended family and its nice to have a bigger oven and more burners. But we would never fill up a 32" refridgerator. It would constantly look empty.

We dont have a separate pantry to put a freezer.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

How long ago did he see that fridge? Sometimes you really, really have to have something, but you don't get it, and then 6 months, a year from now, you wonder why you thought you needed it. Maybe put the remodel on hold a few months and see if he can get past the emotional "need" for the Jumbotron.

Has he thought about the cost of running it? Is he in the least bit environmentally responsible?


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Explain to your husband why you want a 36" range instead of a 30". Then ask him to explain to you why he wants a 64" fridge freezer instead of a 36".
I have a family of four and my two children are not small. They are teen/tween football playing, year-round lacrosse playing, skiing boy eating machines. I have a counter depth fridge. I do have a spare freezer in my basement but that is mostly because I buy meat in bulk from farmers when they slaughter and I freeze a lot of fruits and veg from my garden.
If your husband wants them for ice and beverage, perhaps a separate beverage fridge closer to the TV will make him happier? Maybe he could get one fridge drawer- just for him?


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Many people on this forum complain that their spouse shows no interest in the kitchen and/or refuses to spend the big bucks on high-end appliances. You should be grateful that you have the opposite problem!


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Renos are very stressful and sometimes weigh heavy on a marriage. For whatever reason your DH is fixated on this fridge. As mentioned above, he needs to know the bottom line, and maybe this just might sway him to your corner.
In my reno, I let my DH pick the sink, the hardware without my input. Some husbands don't want any part in the reno, some take over completely and some are some where in-between.
If you can afford it, then figure out a way that you can accommodate DH but also with something you can accept as well.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Lol. Yes my husband is very environmentally conscious. He drives a Toyota Prius. We arent allowed to turn lights on. Sometimes he unscrews light bulbs in various rooms (that I cannot reach) so that when the lights are turned on, all the bulbs arent actually working! LOL!

He only wants the giant built-in fridge for looks. Nothing else. Thats why he needs it to be equal size fridge and freezer.

He also probably wouldnt pay more than $6k for this and he's not going to get a good unit for that price (I dont thinK).

Perhaps I should lay low about the kitchen for a few weeks. Maybe he is just playing a game with me. I guess that will be my plan. not to mention the kitchen again until he does.

He saw this model about 3 weeks ago. The hurry is that we were probably ordering cabinets from Lowes (Kraftmaid) and they had some deals going on where we would save about $3000 but we need to order before March 18th. So I wanted to have the layout all sorted out by then.

Now he is planning on moving doorways and all sorts of things to accommodate a huge fridge that we would never even fill with food.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

There's no accounting for taste. If he thinks it looks good, it's hard to reason with him that it actually doesn't (IMO). Like those big jacked up trucks for suburbanites. Bigger ain't always better.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

I have a Liebherr 36" counter depth and it holds a surprising amount of food. So the 24" all fridge may hold way more then you expect it to. However... I don't know about getting both frig and freezer units for under 6K.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Why don't you visit a great (high variety) local appliance dealership and have their guru show him nice 36" built ins? I agree spouses' views are important in a kitchen; perhaps he might see a 36" offers similar built in look as well as the pantry you wish.

Just this morning when I showed my husband the 3" x 6" subway backsplash look I've been eyeing, he said he preferred a southwestern mosaic porcelain look. whew that's going to cause discussion, and high hope on my part for a suitable compromise in our white traditional kitchen. :) We're all in this together.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

I feel like DH is not going to give in, and if he did I will be reminded of how he didnt get what he wants for the rest of our life together.

I'd just give up the point & let him have his refrigeration. There's even a chance that you'll end up being glad you let go on this one. Esp. for those extended family gatherings, holidays and when your kids get a little older.

Oh, and you will fill that refrigerator...least ways, I didn't have any problem filling a 32'' all refrigerator.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

What is the average cost of electric to run those units? That may give him pause to reconsider.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Deals will always be renewed. The same sale has been going on now for 4-5 years with it "expiring" only to give buyers a sense of urgency. Don't buy into that. It will be renewed again.

If your hubby is a greenie, look up the Energy Star usage of the appliances. That might help, as will the much greater additional cost than he may be prepared to spend.

But, I also have to challenge you on your 36" range. 99% of Americans make do every day with 30" ranges, but you might not think that by viewing this site and Houzz. It's a standard consumer size and will be easy to switch out down the road if you decide that you want to move and take your range with you. Or, it breaks, and you need to replace it. Yes, 36" is "standard" as well, but at a MUCH greater price jump than you would expect than for just the etra 6" and two extra burners.

It's also not really "expected" at all in a mid range home at all. It's very unusual to have anything other than a 30" range for 99% of Americans. If you are in a truly 1% upper end area, then 36" is where the expectations start, and that's not the only thing that's expected. It's the whole package with the SubZero and monster hood and makeup air and second baking area and pretty soon you're at an 80-100K kitchen refurbishment. If that number makes you gasp, then maybe you should look again at your wants vs. needs. You can always do a 30" range and a portable induction burner and an extra toaster oven. It's what many people in space compromised upper end city apartments do as a matter of course.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

No, a 36" cooktop is not huge. To me, it would be perfect, and I only cook for 3 of us. Plus, it only replaces 6 more inches (horizontally) of counter and cab space. The fridge he wants will take up an extra 24" of counter and cab space (opportunity cost of moving the pantry over to the the cab run). And it's not like you have excessive amounts of cab space in your plan.

The running costs for the frig/freezer are going to be outrageous, especially since they will not be full. Emptier units run less efficiently. I would definitely show him the running costs.

The problem is, this is not a rational desire on his part. It isn't even consistent with his own values. So you will probably not be able to counter it with logic.

Your idea of not doing anything for a while is probably a good one. I find with my DH, if I keep arguing, he gets more entrenched, but if I just stop the discussion, he realizes that he was wrong and gives in later. I wouldn't let sales at Lowes rush me. You might get a better deal from someone else. Have you looked at other local cabmakers? Many people find better value - counterintuitive though it may seem - from semi-custom or custom cab makers.

If it gets really desperate, have you ever heard the story of Lysistrata?


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

See if he can be tempted with some other lust worthy toys:) In this forum, things like tapmaster, built in garbage, airswitches, steam oven, advantium, etc. rule. Is he into wine or coffee? Maybe a separate coffee or wine bar with a built in wine cooler?


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

I have to clarify, my "no it's not huge " looks like it's a response to live wire, but it wasn't - we crossed. It was an answer to OP's question about whether 36" was humungous. Live wire's point is good, that if giving up the 36" range will make him back off the huge refrigeration, you could give up the range. If you say "OK, I'll take a 30" range because that's how much I really don't want this huge fridge and freezer," then what will he say?


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

If he can't articulate why he really wants the large units, you may have to switch strategies. It's his kitchen, too. If you can afford to, let him get the monsters and see if he changes his mind. You can then sell them on CL or somewhere and replace with a regular fridge and then add the pantry cabinet.

We have a crazy expensive espresso machine. But DH uses it at least once every single day. If he purchased what he consumes at a coffee shop, then the cost would more than cover the machine cost in just a year. He's had it about 5 years, so we are way ahead in that one. He also insisted on a crazy expensive bike trainer machine, which wasn't odd since he rides a lot and has some portable indoor trainers. He has used it maybe 10 times in more than a year.

Now if he wants something, I have to ask him if it's an espresso machine or a bike trainer. Makes a point, and he gets that I just want to make sure we send wisely.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

If you really don't want these, you might do a search for comments on them. I have the same units purchased at an extremely good price as floor samples. Like your husband, we fell in love with the look and bought them on the spot - with no research. We were building a house that was a year off so I bought the extended warranty. Soon after they were installed I started seeing water on my new hardwood floors. I then researched the units and panicked when I saw that this was a common and apparently unsolvable problem. After three attempts our issue was finally solved by an intrepid technician. This was about 2 years ago. There was a lot of negative feedback at that time. Mine are built into a cabinet run and so replacing them would have meant replacing a lot of cabinetry because of their unusual width. I can't tell you how disturbed I was until they were fixed. But, we have had no more issues with them since they were repaired and I have come to love them. There are only two of us in this house and both units are pretty full. I think it would be hard to go back to the 36" full-depth refrigerator we had before. My warranty period is now over, so I'm crossing my fingers for no more problems. During my panic mode, I thought I'd have to replace them with two 30" bottom freezer units, side by side - that might be another option for you.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Well I live in a neighborhood with pretty nice houses that were built in the mid 90's. I would say most houses are around 2500 sq feet. 2 stories tall. My house is just over 2600 sq feet plus an additional 800 feet in the finished basement so about 3300 sq feet total. So I dont think a 36" range is too big for the house.

I do think I just need to rest the idea and not talk about it for a long time. He's already made choices in this kitchen - for example I LONG for white cabinets and this will be our 2nd kitchen remodel and I am not allowed to have white cabinets because he doesnt like them and think they will get too dirty. So I have caved and said OK to his natural maple request. Thats a pretty big decision that he has gotten to make on his own. He wanted the 36" range too but now is acting like thats all my doing. LOL. I really am just going to sit on this for a long time I think. My plan was to keep our old fridge and just make sure the new space had enough height so that we could get a larger (taller, deeper) 36" fridge in the future.

How do you look up the energy guide on different fridges? Seems like some sites have that info but alot do not...especially if the fridge is not "Energy Star" rated.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

He said if I get my 36" range, he should get his built-in fridge.

I'm sorry, but this sounds a lot like a pi$$ing contest. Does your husband cook? If he decides to remodel the garage, do you get to trump his choices with a gigantic piece of equipment, just because you're keeping score?


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

khat - do you have a picture of them in your house?


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Hmmm...I agree that it is too much for your kitchen. Your kitchen is the same size as mine! :)

Okay...since it is on looks alone...make an idea board on houzz full of pictures of built-in 36 inch fridges. With some woodwork or paneling, they can look really nice.

Get some info about repair, maintenance, and cost to run them. That may stop him dead in his tracks.

I too am getting a 36 inch range-makes sense for how I cook, and it is not imo a huge big deal.

Since you do not have a stand alone pantry for a freezer, I would say it is even more critical that you do not waste space with the combo.

Sorry I am not more help! I would just educate him a bit more on how it will look and fit into the kitchen...


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

These two upgrades are not similar at all! Your 36" range takes only an extra 3 cubic feet over the 30" range, but his 64" fridge takes a whopping 41 cubic feet extra.

I would point this inequality to him and tell him it's also too big for the kitchen and will dwarf your nice new 36" range. I would say you need that pantry space. He needs to compromise.. you are not nearly doubling the width of the range, why does he get to nearly double the refrigeration width at a very real storage cost to the kitchen?

I especially wouldn't cave on this since his argument is flawed because you both wanted the 36" range. Also, he's already dictated your cabinet color :( so this is a huge deal.

Good luck, I hope you get him to come around.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

I would think that having an "extra" 6 inches for your range is NOTHING like having a 64-inch fridge&freezer. *I* am 63" tall. So this "if you get your additional 6 inches of range, then I should have an an additional 28 inches of fridge/freezer" argument seems a little crazy to me. Not that this logic will talk him out of it, but that's the first thing that occurred to me.

Of course, I say this with a 48" Capital Culinarian range top 6 burners & grill range top in our 2000 sqft house. In this case, though, we had the room, so I just let my CC-smitten/seduced DH go with it. If we had to move walls/doorways to get it in, I would have tried hard to get him to go down to 36".


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

That'll look stupid, plus he picked maple? He's outta choices already. I think you should offer white cabs for a giant dumb fridge and see how serious he is.

Okay, maybe not. Look hard at the 24" units (don't Thermador/Bosch/Miele still make those)?

You have to make compromises, but he's already had his way with the cabinets. Yada yada.

(I refuse to do a kitchen addition unless I get a garage addition. But I'm being reasonable! :) )


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

I dunno, this is a hard one.

My husband works 80+ hours a week most of the year seasonal running 2 (seasonal) businesses that allows me to stay home with our kids and is currently building me the kitchen of my dreams. My DH rarely does anything for himself, so, if this were my situation, I'd probably let him have his cake on this one.

In a couple of years, your DH may regret it, or you may come to love it. I see no reason that this issue should result in such marital conflict and bitterness or turn into a battle of the wills.

And, little kids soon turn into big kids with big appetites so you many need that extra space after all.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Thanks for the numbers everyone! I will use the 3 cubic feet vs 41 cubic feet argument with him if he brings it up again. But I really think I am going to lay low. We've talked about remodeling this kitchen since we moved here almost 7 years ago. And multiple times he has said "we can do it next spring" and this time I told him thats what I wanted for my birthday (last week) that I just wanted to get going on the kitchen.

I will also point out that he was the one who wanted maple cabinets. I wanted white and he said no.

I will absolutely compromise on a 48" built in fridge but it still seems silly to me to spend more on a 48" fridge that would give you the same space as a large 36" fridge. We have the room to recess the fridge into the wall to make it look counter-depth. But the other flaw with his idea of the Electrolux 64" fridge is that its not a real counter-depth built in fridge and this morning he said he would recess it into the wall but now it would take up space in our bathroom and mud room since its too large to go on the wall space that we have for it.

I am not going to bring it up though. I think eventually this idea of his will die down.

Maybe if we go back to the same store the kitchen designer who came to the house will talk him out of it. If someone else tells him that its too big and not right for our kitchen, he might listen to them.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

This is your birthday present? "I want stained wood cabinets and a huge refrigerator/freezer. Happy Birthday!"

My kitchen was my 20th anniversary present. Only it wasn't really the kitchen, per se. After all, DH will share in whatever increase in the value of the house was realized by the remodel. While I do the bulk of the cooking, DH does use the kitchen, so he benefits from the improvements in function. No, his generous gift to me was "and you get to pick everything." I did ask his opinion on some things, but it was ultimately all mine. And I'm sure he had a lot of opinions that he didn't get to express, which must have killed him. Now that's a gift. If your DH uncompromisingly chooses things as fundamental as cab color and appliances, then it's just a joint remodel project, from which he will gain great benefit. What kind of gift is that?

I agree - stop all kitchen discussions, and buy yourself a nice piece of jewelry for your birthday.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

If you've been talking about renovating for 7 years, you can afford to wait a bit longer to get a truly functional and attractive kitchen. Yes, I know the "let's just get going!" feeling. I also know the "I never want to have to do this again, and it costs major money, so I REALLY need to think it through" feeling.

"I am not allowed to have white cabinets because he doesnt like them and think they will get too dirty." Response: Natural maple will get just as dirty as white cabinets. All you're doing with natural wood is hiding grease/dust/fingerprints much, much better.

"He only wants the giant built-in fridge for looks. Nothing else. Thats why he needs it to be equal size fridge and freezer."
Response: So, he wants maple instead of painted because of looks (they don't show dirt as well) and he wants the giant fridge just because of looks.

Who really does the COOKING in this household?

There are other, narrower full-fridge and full-freezer combos that might satisfy the need for the matching, good-looking appliances without your having to encroach on your bathroom and mudroom or have you move a doorway.

Good luck, and let us know how it turns out!


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

He really needs to factor in the operating cost of his fridge, which runs 24/7, and your range, which runs at most a few hours a day.

When did fridges become such a status symbol?


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

I have to wonder if this is really about your DH wanting the larger fridge/freezer or if he has some other reservation about remodeling your kitchen? My kitchen is similar in size and layout to yours, though I opted for wall ovens, 36" cooktop and 36" refrigerator and we are a family of 5. Though I would love the added refrigerator/freezer space, double that amount not only seems excessive, it would cut down on the precious cabinet and counter space that I need. I also question whether it would add resale to your home. As you have reservations about the bulk, need and energy costs, so would others. It's not like adding an extra refrigerator or freezer in the garage for overflow. You (and any future) owner would be stuck with it.

Once thing we did also add which has helped a lot is a beverage/wine refrigerator. Focus on your lifestyle, who does the cooking, shopping, etc. not just everyday but when you entertain. And, if you both aren't ready for a remodel, then be honest about it as the hard part hasn't even begun yet.

And, just my two cents, but a kitchen is too impt. to do for a birthday present and let one person make all the choices. We remodeled our kitchen about four years ago, and by far, the best decision we made was not the type of cabinet or finish or even the appliances, it was enlarging the space to accomodate a multi-cook household so that we can spend quality family time cooking together.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

My DH found a 24" refrigerator column and a 24" freezer column (Thermador) on eBay for $6k (panel ready, built in, 24" deep). They are not installed yet so I can't comment on the amount of food they will hold. Thermador makes a 30" size of each as well which might fit in your 61" space (not sure about framing around them) but they will be pricey. You can search Craigslist too for deals. I also remember while shopping for appliances that Sears had a "built in look" set up, basically a separate freezer and refrigerator with trim pieces to make it look built in. I don't recall the sizes of the units though.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

We both cook. Everyday dinners are more me though since he sometimes doesnt get home until later. And we both work outside the home, his job is a little more demanding and he makes more money. But we both work.

We've been talking about this remodel for years, so its not a fast thing. I just asked for my birthday to really get going on it. Maybe he is having reservations - who knows?

I have no idea what it costs this fridge to run. I found one site that said $39! So if that is true (can it be?) I dont think the cost of operating it is going to be that good of an argument.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

The Liebherr units are excellent products and fit in your plan. You will have enough room. The BioFresh drawers are something that works.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

And I wasnt making all the choices for it to be my b-day present. We were just going to get started on it instead of talking about it.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Thanks Dan. I guess I will have him take a look at those if he wants.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Hi khallock, That fridge sounds enormous. How long are you planning on living in your home? Personally, I would be concerned about buying a place that would dictate that I have a humungous refrigerator. Has he considered that you may be then "bound" to having that large a fridge unless you remodel again? I bring it up because I was visiting a home of a relative who had a beautiful kitchen, but they had to replace their fridge and are now empty nesters. They had an enormous space for the fridge and in its place was a very large french door fridge, but it didn't fill up the designated space. Did you husband specify why he wanted the large fridge (other than because of your range choice?). I liked the suggestion about having a separate beverage fridge. Could be for snacks too.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

The 30" Thermador fridge and freezer columns are true counter depth and very nice. They will kill the budget though, unless you can get a deal on floor models. I picked up a pair for a little over $5k when a local store went out of business. A pair of 27" Subzeros would also look great and be smaller, but again, budget killers w/o a sale.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

This thread is kind of funny. It does sound like a bit of a pi$$ing match, but I've put my foot down on expensive 3-4 week vacations to exotic locales until we get moving on remodeling cuz I'm sick of returning to my stuck in the 80's home. So I'v familiar with the wiz. :>) We both work full time too and I would love it if my hubby had more opinions instead of saying anything you want when what i want is more input. However I'd probably nix any "big ideas". :>) Especially if his input threw a wrench in a design that far along.

So you're hubby wants that because he likes the look of it even though it's more fridge/freezer space than you'll ever need, will use more energy than necessary and doesn't want to pay the heafty price tag that goes along with it? And there say men are more logical than women, ahhh, no, not your's. And what happens when one of those twins blows and you have to replace with something that doesn't match?

My house is about the same size and I think that's too much for a house that size too. I'd think twice about buying a home of that size if it had that much fridge and freezer for the reasons I mentioned above.

But all that aside, I'm totally on your side soon as you mentioned he nixed your white cabs in favor of natural maple. He already got his big...HUGE decision. 12 years ago we remodeled. I wanted white, DH wanted stained wood, we comprimised. I should say I chickened out. he was Ok with it if I really wanted it, but KDs were advising me against white too. So I chose natural maple. Cabinets are still in perfect condition, but they've taken on a pinkinsh hue and I can't wait to get rid of the maple.

good luck, please keep us posted!


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Here is some energy usage info for you:

For every appliance you can download the Energy Guide which tells you exactly how much energy it uses as well as how it compares to others in its category.

So if you tell me the exact model I can look it up for you. Or you can look it up. The AJ Madison website has a nice tab at the bottom of each page with energy specs.

Based on what you wrote in your posts, DH is interested in a pair Elextrolux's.

A 32" Electrolux built-in fridge and freezer
This refrigerator uses 365 kWh/yr and has an estimated yearly operating cost of $40.48.
This Freezer uses 651 kWh and has an estimated yearly operating cost of $72.20 .

So the total is over 1000 kilowatt-hours per year and $112 in electricity.

Let's see... that will require about 1000 pounds of coal per year. Think about that!

For a typical 36" fridge/freezer combo
This refrigerator uses 467 kWh/yr and has an estimated yearly operating cost of $51.79. Frigidaire
This refrigerator uses 458 kWh/yr and has an estimated yearly operating cost of $50.79. Sub Zero

So you're looking at more than doubling your energy use and price, which makes sense because you are basically doubling the volume. One way to save energy would be to get a smaller freezer because freezers use more energy than refrigerators.

Personally, I find this type of energy use to be discouraging. Particularly if there is no real reason for it. It's a very American way of thinking, sadly.

Best of luck in your negotiations. Hopefully you can come up with something that really makes both of you happy, rather than tallying up the number of things that make either of you unhappy and then making sure they are equal. Being equally unhappy does not seem like a great solution.

Good luck!


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

For what it's worth, I have a teensy kitchen and got fixated on having a large fridge. We are a family of 4, kids are active boys off the growth charts, and we don't have a basement or garage that can house an overflow fridge or freezer. Plus I need something that is counterdepth because of the narrowness of my kitchen. So while I love the taller KA french door CD fridge, I look at that drawer freezer and felt cheated. I spent ages redoing plans to try to squeeze in the Whirpool/Fridgidaire/Kenmore/Elux 32" units, after seeing them in my SIL's small poolhouse kitchen. Then I then wasted similar amounts of time trying to figure out how to accommodate a 48" builtin.

It took a long time for me to accept that for my small house and small budget, there were better uses of both space and dollars than epic amounts of fridge space. If I wasn't hoping to fiddle a bit with load-bearing walls, I might still be tempted. The only helpful suggestions I can offer on what enabled me to come to my senses would be seeing the pair IRL, as it a big whopping stretch of metal, and walking through the tradeoffs to budget/storage/counter space. BTW, if the budget is there, the 48" Liebherr is beautiful. Very tall, but beautiful. Not to muddy the water at all!


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Karin, not only are you our resident Rock Whisperer, but also our energy guru! thanks for the scoop. I feel the same way about the energy usage, especially when it comes to water because it's such a scarce commodity here in Southern CA. The showers with all the heads and bells and whistles are beautiful, but make me cringe at the amount I'd end up wasting in there. When I get to that point I hope to find a stylish low flow single head to replace the Home Depot screw on we have now, but won't hold my breath on that.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

A couple of thoughts

You say you are looking at Blue Star. The 30 inch range has a big oven -- wider than most 30 inch range ovens, and it will take full sheets. I have the 30 inch Blue Star and have really found it handy to have the wide oven for baking biscotti, granola, cookies, etc. I do like the proportions of the 36 but the utility of the 4 burner 30 is more than adequate. And the oven is really quite large enough for just about anything. You can always get a second oven like the Miele speed oven. I did this and love the combination.

As far as the refrigerator -- all refrigerators run more efficiently if they are kept full -- so that when you open the door you are not letting out a lot of cooled air. It's all cold solid objects in there which hold on to the cold and don't release it when the door is opened. Are you going to keep a huge freezer and refrigerator full? I do think having a big fridge is nice -- we have a 48 side by side and we find that it is full - especially the produce drawers. But what you're considering is much larger. How about two 24 units side by side if you must have equal size units?


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Thanks Island!

Coal is a rock, after all! So I'm still within my Rock Whisperer domain. :)

I agree with you about water too. And I also have the World's Ugliest shower head but someday am looking forward to something prettier but still efficient.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

We used to have a second fridge in the basement, and both our top-freezer deep fridges were pretty much full most of the time. We really, really liked the idea of having all that available upstairs in our kitchen, especially when we saw two slim ones at the SubZero place nearby - truly not affordable. Then we saw some Liebherr ones that were also nice-looking, and equally non-affordable for us.

The truly narrow (24" wide each) sets would have fit on the wall that was already there.

(For some reason, Flickr isn't letting me upload the pictures that I wanted to do, so I'll have to do one at a time.)

In the attached photo, there I am at Sears, standing in front of their Kenmore Elite Upright Freezer and Refrigerator, with the trim kit, each unit 32" wide, so the same size you're talking about. I am standing in front of it for scale, but it's not really reflective of the fact that it is wider than I am tall. Maybe I should have stretched out on the ground. Each unit was ~$1450 when we were looking a year ago. Much cheaper than the other sets.

These really wide ones, though, would have required moving the doorway to build the wall out, which had structural consequences on the other side of the doorway. $$$$$$$, plus it seemed silly to do just so we could fit appliances in.

In the next post, the same fridges with the doors *open.* That started to look really ridiculous.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

With both doors open, WOW! One of the doors, when open, would have blocked the entire doorway that we would have had to rebuild just so we could fit both the appliances on that wall. BOTH of them open, well, 2 x 64" = 128" or in other words, a LOT. Even if you had only one door open at a time, that's 64" plus the 36" door ... you get what I mean. If we'd really wanted those, it wasn't the cost of the two appliances themselves that we were worried about, it was the cost in changing the structure as well as the opportunity cost of having that space contain counter tops, storage, etc.

That wasn't going to happen, so we opted to get a new and improved cheapo (but energy efficient!) second fridge in the basement. We can put a turkey in there, the Costco-sized bags of lemons & limes, the portioned-out containers of chili, stew, soup, and the like that we frequently make in the winter, frozen meat, meat that is defrosting in the refrigerator, and on, and on, and on. Those would not fit very easily in the separate wide refrigerator and freezer that we were lusting after for a short while.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Wow. Now I want that.

:P


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

In our house who cleans/repairs the space gets extra say in things. If you clean the kitchen I would hold out for white cabinets. When we redid the bathroom we got top of the line plumbing because DH handles that and didn't want to have to mess with repairs/fixes. Dropping the issue for a while would probably be good. I know it's hard I've waited for 8 years. Then, maybe each of you can make a priority list and then compare them. Let your designer help you assign $ to each item. Then see how the priorities and $ fit together.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

LOL! If he is going to play this game, tell him he can have the 64" monster fridge when you get your white cabinets. I'm guessing that you'd be willing to consider a 30" range in exchange for white cabs . . . maybe? Compromise is what makes the world go around.

In all seriousness, I think that fridge is ridiculous for your space, but I'd be willing to negotiate if I were you. I like the ideas of the smaller options, like the 27" combo. But, what I REALLY think is that your DH is stalling and that the added cost of moving a doorway combined with the price tag on an appliance like that will call his bluff.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Rock Whisperer so true; coal is in your wheelhouse!

Dr Beanie, wow that's quite the frankenfridge. Thanks for the perspective. BTW, love your Lady Gaga-esque veiled disguise!


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

I can't add much to the "this refrigerator is excessive" argument. It is excessive, and that's that.

I would recommend that you post your layout in a separate thread to make sure it's the best for your space.

I would also recommend that you not cave on the white cabinets you long for. White cabinets do not get dirtier. Mine stay much cleaner than my previous light maple cabinets because I can see the dirt and wipe it up immediately. I have 4 kids and I guarantee they are messier than anyone living in your house. I thought white was impractical and looked at natural maple cabinets. I ultimately rejected them because they often yellow over time. And I longed for white.

Good luck!


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

mpagmom - Thanks. I have posted the layout numerous times and this one has the go. I dont want to waste people's time posting it again in another separate thread. If you would like to see it, here are some pictures with measurements and of what the room looks like now.

The fridge would be going on the wall where the old kitchen desk is now. Its between the door to the 1/2 bath and the door to the laundry/mudroom.

This pick shows the dimensions.

This is the current layout

And you can see the layout I am going for in the first post at the beginning of this thread. Basically I want a square/rectangular island. The sink will stay put. I want a 36" range on the back wall where the current fridge/oven is now. The new fridge would go on the wall where the old desk currently sits. There is space behind there (a mud room, utility closet and a pocket door to enter the 1/2 bath from that mud room) so we could recess a regular depth fridge to make it look more built-in.

My kitchen already fits a 6 person table so I do not need seating at the island. I would love seating, but i dont want it to be squishy so I am fine without. Its a very open floor plan.

Also, we would add 2 new windows on either side of the range to give more light to the kitchen.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Sorry I didnt read all the comments and post replies back to individuals!

Wow, those pictures of the 32" unites are HUGE! I am only 5'2" so those would be wider than I am tall as well.

I really appreciate all of the comments. I am not offended by any of them! Its nice to see that most people think the 64" fridge/freezer is overkill. DH and I butt heads alot over design issues. I like color, he hates it. I want white cabinets, he will only entertain the idea of wood. etc...etc...He also thinks researching things like kitchen layout is stupid. I guess he thinks the time I put into thinking about this kitchen is overkill. But he's been leading me on about it for years and this year seemed like it was going to be the real thing. He doesnt like that I have a layout "in my head". He thinks the fridge is fine where it is and he LOVES our current island that is diagonally set in the kitchen (GAG!). But alot of the time I think he is just dead set on agreeing with me, even if my idea is the best one. Sometimes its not even an idea. I could present him with reviews on appliances and he wouldnt take awful reviews of something into account. That sort of thing. And yes, it drives me crazy.

I was/am willing to give up my white cabinets (again) but now I am having 2nd thoughts.....but to be honest I am not the worlds best cleaner, and my kids are so messy and I am messy (but more in a "I dont put stuff away" way) and I have a 95 lb black lab and a 23 lb cat and they rub up against the cabinets and get that oily residue on the corners. So maybe white wouldnt be the best choice for me. I am also worried because custom cabinets are not really in the cards for us. Most likely we would go with Kraftmaid at Lowes and I am fine with their stained finishes but I dont know if the white finishes (Dove White) would be as nice as the white kitchens I see here.

But my floors are red oak and are going to stay that way and I love the look of white painted cabs with that. And I cant think of another wood I want. I like natural cherry, but our kitchen is somewhat dark and I wanted something more cheery. I like natural cherry but not as much when it starts to darken. And now I'm worried about the yellowing of natural maple!

I'll keep you updated on what we decide about the kitchen. I am adamant that it does not include a 64" fridge though! I am going to lay low about it for a couple of weeks at least.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

I have maple (natural) cabinets with cherry (natural) accents going on 13 years and I love the color. Our bathroom has natural a cherry vanity and linen cabinet and love it too. I don't feel the maple has yellowed (they were Kraftmaid).
The natural cherry has darkened with age, but they are not dark! They are a medium color. I would buy them again in a heartbreat.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

The natural cherry cabinet in bathroom


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

I keep waiting for CEFreeman to weigh in. :)


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

What if you did a painted island and did the perimeter cabinets stained? You wouldn't necessarily have to use white and the fun of the island is that you could change out the paint color every so often to give the space new life. Would he let you splurge a little on getting a custom painted island if you used economical stained perimeter cabinets? Would he consider that a compromise?

Maybe these pics from houzz.com could inspire you:


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Or maybe he gets a maple island and you get painted cabinets everywhere else.

The cabinets you have now don't look much different from natural maple and if you don't LOVE the color why bother going thru the hassle and expense of putting in something so similar.
Maybe that's it, like someone said earlier maybe he just doesn't want to change anything. You should have an honest conversation about that.

Crap, can't he have a floor to ceiling BROWN man cave somewhere else? :>)


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Or maybe he gets a maple island and you get painted cabinets everywhere else.

The cabinets you have now don't look much different from natural maple and if you don't LOVE the color why bother going thru the hassle and expense of putting in something so similar.
Maybe that's it, like someone said earlier maybe he just doesn't want to change anything. You should have an honest conversation about that.

Crap, can't he have a floor to ceiling BROWN man cave somewhere else? :>)


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

My friends have that Kenmore pair. They installed them in what used to be a bookshelf alcove. Though they seem huge, they are counter depth. Hence their internal cubic size isn't that much. That is, the large Samsung 29cuft holds more in the fridge (I think). My friend has both a 20cuft top freezer fridge and a 16cuft upright freezer in the garage for overflow and large items. Though there are only two of them, they entertain a lot and buy in bulk.

BTW: they aren't truly 'built-in'. That grate at the top is simply a trim kit. They are two separate units.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Island - you made me crack up laughing. I wish he could have his man cave somewhere else! The ironic thing is that he always wants the walls painted white, and now that I want the cabinets painted white, he says no!


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

I've been reading the thread the last couple days. (yeah, where is CE?)

No but really. I heart those all fridge/freezer deals. I wish I had room :(

Maybe you should tell him if it's his real hearts desire then you're fine with it cause you love him more than a kitchen layout and give him a big smooch. See what happens if you stop fighting and give up some control. As my Mom used to say "it takes two to tango"..

Speaking as one that has been fighting to develop the ability to relinquish control for oh, going on 10 years now... I find now it works better to pick my battles and the longer I go the fewer things I find worth battling about cause I like getting along so much better.

And actually, I seem to end up with him giving me what I want happily which is a nicer way to get it.

Not preaching. Just trying to offer my perspective in hopes of helping.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Deedles,

I agree with you 100% but a 64" monster would be the battle I'd pick, LOL. After all, I am the one who cooks and has to spend so much time in the kitchen! LOL


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

We haven't talked about it since yesterday morning. The more I think about it there is no way he is going to fit that in our house. So I am becoming less worried about it. But now I really want my white cabinets again (thanks to you guys!)


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Khallock, white walls eh? Do you live somewhere cold? How about an ice cave? An igloo man cave? Or maybe he could move into that giant fridge!
I'm with eleena on this battlefield.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

This thread made me laugh, then get very ashamed. Laugh at all the husband-wife clashes and anger and oh-no-he-dih-ents... then become ashamed at what my wife would have posted about ME were she a GWer!

@khallock, count your blessings, I'm WAY WORSE than your husband. My wife wanted a 48" range, we got a 60" CC. She wanted a 48" SxS fridge, we got a 72" Northland twin pair (36" freezer, 36" ref). She wanted espresso cabinets, we got natural quartersawn walnut. She wanted one wall removed between the dining and the kitchen, we removed 2 walls (incl. a bearing post), all the ceilings, AND a bearing column wall involving a huge new beam and digging up the foundation for new pad footings and the downstairs walls for new structural posts. There was stuff we agreed on (Kohler Stages sinks), and some stuff she got (I wanted oversized induction wok burners, and she vetoed those).

About your refrigerator/freezer, 32" is a size made exclusively by Frigidaire/Electrolux (to my knowledge), and we almost went with those but decided for a little more width we'd get a lot more cubic feet with a 36" Northland twin pair: 19 cu ft x 2 vs. 24 cu ft x 2 (27% more storage in 12.5% more width). Northland's 30" all ref/all freezer, narrower than the 32", stores more than the Frigidaire/Electrolux 32" (19.8 cu ft). They also look much more impressive because of their full height (84" with grills instead of 79" high with grill).

We're still working out our issues with Northland (packaging looked damaged, SS wasn't scratched; they didn't ship us compressors, shipped them later; the freezer's door looks warped/undulated, they're investigating it), but they look beautiful and were VERY affordable ($7K for the pair). You might look into their stuff; save you a pretty penny. They make SxS's from 36" to 72" wide and every 6" in between, plus all refrigerators and all-freezers 18" to 36" wide and every 6" in between. Their stuff has larger capacities than most built-ins of the same width.

Here is a link that might be useful: Northland's Site


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Davidahn - I saw your pst about your fridge over in the Appliace forum. It did make me look at some Northland models, but then I read about them being loud. And my house is very open on the 1st floor and I didn't want to hear a fridge humming away. So, are they loud or not?

So I have an update. We were laying in bed talking about a Wolf Range vs BlueStar..he just wants me to pick one and we'll buy it. I want to talk about it with him. He hates "hyper focusing" on one item. LOL. Then he said that if we go with the BS, we can ask that store if they have a fridge that "meets my criteria" and maybe they will give us a better deal if we are buying 2 big appliances....the point here is that he is conceding, right?? He's acknowledging that whatever fridge he wants needs to be agreed to by me.

So now I still need to figure out Wolf or BS? I like the look of the Wolf better, but the burners on the BS seem pretty cool.


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ZRE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Davidahn - I saw your pst about your fridge over in the Appliace forum. It did make me look at some Northland models, but then I read about them being loud. And my house is very open on the 1st floor and I didn't want to hear a fridge humming away. So, are they loud or not?

So I have an update. We were laying in bed talking about a Wolf Range vs BlueStar..he just wants me to pick one and we'll buy it. I want to talk about it with him. He hates "hyper focusing" on one item. LOL. Then he said that if we go with the BS, we can ask that store if they have a fridge that "meets my criteria" and maybe they will give us a better deal if we are buying 2 big appliances....the point here is that he is conceding, right?? He's acknowledging that whatever fridge he wants needs to be agreed to by me.

So now I still need to figure out Wolf or BS? I like the look of the Wolf better, but the burners on the BS seem pretty cool.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

This post just reminded me of a thread from WAY back about dealing with spouses during remodeling. Didn't one of the regular posters confess that throughout the entire process she made the effort to never go longer than 2 days without having sex with her DH?

I can't remember who it was, but not a fly-by-night poster, someone who was here daily and was respected and always helpful, so no one accused her of BS. But she swore he never complained, not once, through the entire project. And she almost always got what she wanted in the kitchen. ;) It turned into a very funny thread.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Controlfreakecs - I'll try it!


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Lol controlfreakecs. Mind you, every 2 days for months on end, hmmm ... that's a tough one but I'd probably have to plump for the maple cabs and big ass fridge. :-) :-)


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

@khallock, I will be able to tell you either this weekend or early next week whether the compressors are loud or not; the compressors have arrived but haven't been installed yet.

I'm guessing from your hubby's newfound positivity that you were already following controlfreakecs's advice. Work it, girl! My wife could have gotten her way a lot more, if you know what I mean...


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

OK... more confession time. More examples of what a nightmare husband I am: my wife wanted 12x24 staggered subway tile on the floors and showers, I "talked" her into a straight pattern. Now I'm going to "talk" her out of staggered backsplash subway 3x6 glass tile and into laying them straight. Why do I care so much about esthetics?!?

In my defense, eventually when she gets used to it, she'll love what I've chosen. My wife's preferences aren't dependent on esthetics or even tastes but on what she's gotten used to. For example, she always loves her old car better for 1-2 years after she buys a new car.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

David--

I see the moniker "controlfreakecs" is taken, but there must have been other variations you could have used.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

LOL, May!! I have to tell you, that my DH thinks I am a total control freak and that's why I chose that moniker, but after being here at the kitchen forum for a while, I realized that in comparison, the name doesn't suit me at all! :)


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

I totally totally remember that thread, took the advice, though can't remember the original posters name. And for what's it worth.... in the end we both got what we wanted.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

I have to chuckle a little at all the outrage over the size, because these are not a humungous fridge unit, but instead, a moderate to small-sized fridge and a separate upright freezer of the same size. So actually less capacity, total, than for those with a standard 36" fridge and separate freezer.

We have 2 of these all-fridges and 1 all-freezer in our kitchen (plus another freezer elsewhere now) to fulfill the needs of our, currently, 9-person household. You could easily fill a 32-inch fridge for 4 people, I think, because its narrower width and smaller overall height (not counting trim pieces) make it close to the capacity of the fridge section in a 36" fridge with freezer.

Putting them together with the trim kit makes them look like a huge, built-in, high-end unit and that's the illusion Elux is going for, but at a comparatively affordable price. (Ours were under $1500 per piece, and trim kits would've added another couple hundred... So both are about the same as a 36" fridge...Not anything like prices of high end built-ins). They are Energy Star rated. (Northland was not, back when we looked, anyway.)

I agree that on your wall, you're giving up things and adding expense by moving the doorway. Did you previously plan to have a full freezer somewhere anyway? If so, this would just be in place of that, and not adding any fridge or freezer space. If you don't need a full freezer, that would be another consideration, and I'd worry more about keeping the freezer full than the fridge.

As LiveWire suggested, you could put the freezer unit elsewhere and 'build in' the fridge on that wall for your hubs, which would give you a few additional inches for cabinets there. The pain would be that you'd have no freezer space at all in the kitchen --unless you added freezer drawers in the pantry cabinet space.

The other issue with doing that, though, (Having only the fridge in the kitchen) is that the door swing of the fridge would be wrong for your layout, and the doors are not reversible.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Well seeing as how we dont actually have a separate pantry space, putting a freezer in the pantry is out of the question.

We do have a chest freezer, in the basement. Its plugged in, but we hardly ever use it. It has stuff in there from years ago. sometimes we might buy some frozen pizzas that we cant fit into our current side by side fridge and instead we store them down there. We should just clean it out. DH's reasoning for this huge model was we could get rid of the one int he basement. But I dont know why that matters. Its not taking up important space.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

You said your DH suggested recessing into mudroom/bath. Assuming he’s doing the work, that’s quite a bit of rearranging (unless it’s not)… I agree don’t bring it up and maybe it will pass, but if he does? Maybe you could say-- "oh I was thinking about how that will go into the bathroom, and while you’re in there, I was thinking you could build some storage/shelving/ cabinets/ a spa… the suggestion of a whole new project would give my husband pause.

A designer friend of mine (not really a friend, but I plan to become her new best friend, since I need kitchen help) had mentioned the coated cabinets? I don’t want to say plastic-coated, but they kind of are… I thought she would think they were tacky, but she said they’re very durable and she’s recommended them to lots of clients… have you looked at those? Maybe that would be a solution to the ease of cleaning white cabinets?

We’re restoring an old house, and doing ALL of it ourselves. I cannot imagine much else that matches the stress on a marriage… The constant, project-related mess/dirt/chaos has worn me out. Even just the planning has become unpleasant. Our kitchen is next, and I am dreading everything about it. At this point I just want to keep it, despite it being hideous.

Here is a link that might be useful: My thoughts on marriage and house-renovation.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

It is here:http://ths.gardenweb.com/forums/load/kitchbath/msg0117015112540.html maybe 2/5 the way down.

Here is a link that might be useful: Operation S E X


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

We plan a 30" fridge/24" freezer combo (Thermador Freedom columns), and there are only two of us. The worst of it is that we managed quite well with about 12 cu ft fridge when we lived in the UK (we did have a 14 cu ft chest freezer in the garage) - living in the USA corrupts one so.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Laxsupermom. Sex every 36 hours.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

@mayflowers, I wasn't aware I was supposed to be THAT forthcoming with my GW handle. :) And as many control freaks as there are on GW, I'm pretty sure most of the good ones are taken: anal_retentive#1, OCDremodeler, kitchen_perfectionist... I'll just stick with davidahn.

I'm just trying to make OP feel better. I really am as bad as my confessions at times, but between my OCPD moments, I'm a pretty swell guy. Just ask my 2 friends! (One of them is even human.)


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Just a quick update.

I dropped the kitchen subject for awhile. I even said we should put it off for a bit since DH is feeling a bit overwhelmed lately. But this weekend he declared he is ready to go gung-ho. He even said the kitchen remodel was the one thing he was looking forward to this spring.

Yesterday he wanted to go to Lowes at lunch and just purchase the cabinets. I said lets just go and iron some layout things out and then sit on the plan for a few more days. The plan was still showing a 36" fridge. So yesterday he was ready to purchase the cabinets with that plan. Then we got home and he started raging about how he wants one thing - a separate fridge/freezer. So we argued again about the size of said fridge/freezer. Called off the remodel again. He said if i lose my 36" range he will lose the big fridge. Now this morning he says forget the fridge. So we're close I think.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

breezy... supermom's was one of my favorite threads of all time. So much useful information available on GW!


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

From a efficiency perspective, a separate fridge and freezer are more energy efficient. I wanted that as well and I have a smallish 10ft wide galley. I went with a 30in all-fridge and a small 24in freezer drawer so that I could have a bit of counter above. Is that a possibility?


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

I say compromise if his heart is set. Some decisions are practical and some are just gotta have it. So go with 30-24" wide models and ditch the freezer in the basement which right now is an incredible waste of space. If you wouldn't fill a 36" wide model then 24" should be just about right! That way he gets to have something he feels awesome about (the fridge) and you get to have something you feel awesome about (the range). Plus maybe you'll use the freezer a lot more if it's within easy reach. That corner to L of range can easily take a pantry.

The good news is if he comes to his senses you can easily put a pantry in that space later.

I'm letting DH put a bar fridge in our kitchen even though IMO we SO don't need it at all. And in return he's letting me not do an OTR micro even though he SO doesn't think we need a separate micro at all.

On the other hand, I think you should make a push for those white cabs! Fridge can be a bargaining point! He gets something impractical he longs for and so do you.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Hmm..

Have you considered bargaining with a kegerator?

Let's see.
You get the 36" stove.
He gets maple cabs.
(Your turn)
You get the white cabs.
He gets a gigantic fridge.
You get....

I agree that this sounds like some weird pissing contest.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

raging and a lot of back and forth negotiations. Doesn't sound like you're close to me. Sounds like you guys have some issues. Maybe you should put it off for awhile and try and get to the bottom of why he's treating it as a contest he has to win. And if he gives in how long will he be holding it over your head and if you give in how long will you resent it?

And what's the latest on cabinet color? is he Ok with white o still wanting to put in stained similar to what you already have?


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

LOL. I guess you're right, we arent close! We are definitely not getting white cabinets. Although he said SOMEDAY we could paint these ones white. SOMEDAY. which means in 20 years...

I am OK with maple cabinets.

We'll talk about the fridge again. I'd be OK with up to a 60" fridge. The problem is that he doesnt want to pay the $$ for a big fridge that is decent. He just wants that Electrolux model which is like $5500 for 2 32" units.

And it has to be side by side and they HAVE to be separate units. I've tried getting him to consider a 48" built in fridge but he wont consider those since the freezer is smaller than the fridge. Any of the 24" or 30" all-freezer models are too much money. Except for the Whirlpool sidekicks, but those get kind of bad reviews from what I can see.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

And does he still want the island to stay where it is?


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

island - He thinks the island is too big!


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

I know what I would do.....I would toss the whole project in his lap and tell him to do it all himself, but if it ends up looks bad then he will be the one to blame and, trust me, there will be enough blame for all eternity. That usually takes care of the problem very nicely.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

khallock, I'm glad you're still able to LOL. I'd say someone has control issues. I'm inclined to agree with jerzeegirl, although I can't see him accepting any blame. Sometimes I envy people with partners; sometimes I don't.


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RE: Hubby throwing a real monkey wrench into my kitchen plans

Oh, this thread is great. Sorry khallock about the marital drama. Nothing like a reno to bring out the worst in both spouses.

My DH and I remodeled after a house fire. We were under tremendous schedule pressure and are very different in how we process decisions. Plus he is color blind, not great at visualizing spaces and prefers to be a nay-sayer rather than idea proposer. Fun times!

We also went round and round about the fridge. I really loved the columns and we desperately needed more freezer space than we could get in a standard 36". We agreed on a counterdepth appliance but struggled for a long time over what to buy. The budget was what finally killed the columns for us. We ended up with a 42" Thermador side-by-side, and we still grumble about the freezer size.

My DH was the one who fell in love with the Wolf 36" cooktop and I just went with it. I don't regret it, but I didn't have strong opinions about it otherwise.

The biggest conflict we had in the kitchen remodel was over the backsplash design. I chose a colorful tile early on and then played around with countless patterns. He was very firmly fixed on having a traditional, regular, repetitive pattern and I was not. I posted pics here and took a vote and the winner was a random pattern, which I liked best too. Other more experienced designers here helped me understand why it was more appealing and gave me some words to use to explain it to my DH.

I insisted that we would have a random pattern, trying to explain why it made sense. He was very unhappy. I held my ground and the backsplash is awesome. Now, whenever we have guests, he takes them right into the kitchen and says "My wife designed this. Isn't it great?"

Establish your shared vision for this kitchen. Make a mood board. Learn to use a 3D sketching software so you can play with different things like the fridge, etc. And accept the fact that sometimes you are just going to have to stand your ground.


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