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What would you do if...

dianamc75
10 years ago

You found a handwritten religious (Christian) inscription on the top of your island cabinets (which will soon be covered by a countertop when said countertop arrives and is installed) that was done without your knowledge and/or consent. I know who is responsible (independent installer hired by the cabinet company). He doesn't know I saw it. Kitchen company I am certain is unaware. Would it bother you? What would you do?

Comments (67)

  • raee_gw zone 5b-6a Ohio
    10 years ago

    It wasn't creepy, or sick; I would call it unusual, but I think he simply took a liberty that he should not have to express his faith. Maybe he feels that it will serve as a sort of blessing to the house (rather like putting up a mezuzah). Or he feels that this is how he honors G-d through his work. I would guess that his intentions were good. Sure, say something if you feel like it (I probably would because he should not have done it) but don't wind it up into a big deal.

  • robo (z6a)
    10 years ago

    I asked my husband about it and he was like "who cares? cover it over with the countertop." I don't think he'd care no matter how many swear words there were scrawled on there -- of course at this point he's tempted to write plenty of swear words himself. I too would be on the ignore side. I'd consider it like a saying to ward off the evil eye or something and leave it at that.

  • homepro01
    10 years ago

    I would find it creepy. I am a practicing catholic and know that if this message was about another religious deity blessing you, folks may not be as gracious. It think it is intrusive for someone to sign your property with their beliefs no matter what it is. I am not sure who I would speak to but I would want the piece replaced or repaired to remove the comment.
    Best of luck!!

  • joaniepoanie
    10 years ago

    I think it is very unprofessional and the parties involved should be told. It wouldn't be any different had he made a political statement. It could cost them future business and they should be made aware of that. Very inappropriate in the workplace.

  • robo (z6a)
    10 years ago

    I'm not religious at all so wouldn't matter to me what religion it came from.

  • detroit_burb
    10 years ago

    it is your property that was written on in your home.

    some people that work in your home are craftspeople, some are high school dropouts that could not do anything other than menial labor. there are different levels of graffiti, but all graffiti is vandalism.

    if a carpenter views him/herself as a professional, they should not scrawl anything other than what is needed technically, to get the job done.

    It takes willful pride to vandalize someone else's property, not pious humility. If you ask "what would Jesus do?" I doubt he would be scrawling on someone else's property, and I doubt he would have wanted someone to do this in his name. There are right wing zealots who seem to think otherwise.

  • raee_gw zone 5b-6a Ohio
    10 years ago

    Yeah, I doubt Jesus would (but he did make a mess in the Temple, don't forget); here we are talking about a human who may just not have thought about it beyond what he feels he could/should do to honor his beliefs. As people are prone to do, whether right wing or left wing.

    Many faith traditions speak of honoring their god(s) with the work of the hands. I myself take that to mean doing the best job I am capable of; perhaps he thinks that means making some kind of additional statement. "Willful pride" is a harsh assumption.

    If it was about some deity other than mine, I would just laugh and remove or cover it, since to me it is not a deity. But as I said, I would mention it because he should not have done it.

  • Brandywine72
    10 years ago

    It is inappropriate for anyone to make an uninvited statement on your cabinetry. If they wanted to do so, they could have written it on a piece of paper and taped it there for you to see. However, they chose to put it directly on the cabinetry, in writing. That is just too preachy for me, but I'm an atheist Jew, so I'm not inclined to look favorably upon blessings.

    I would let the owner of the company know. Even if it doesn't bother you that much, if I were the owner, I would want to know that one of my employees was representing my company in such a fashion. Then the owner had the knowledge to do whatever they want with it.

  • Carrie B
    10 years ago

    As far as I'm concerned, that is graffiti, vandalism & defacement of property all wrapped into one.

    The content of the message is absolutely irrelevant, be it a religious blessing, a reminder to walk the dog, a statement such as "have a nice day" or anything else.

    Somebody wrote on your personal property, in your own home, presumably while they were being paid by you to work. That's reprehensible, irresponsible and worse.

  • Gracie
    10 years ago

    It's unprofessional to write anything, so I'd mention it to the cabinet company. Don't be surprised if he's not surprised. After the third tradesman came in and said they knew the owner of the cabinet company and my GC from church, I caught on that it was a good ol' choirboy network.

  • sprtphntc7a
    10 years ago

    I think initially I be put off but then after a while I would just be like " whatever"...your counters are going over it so it will be gone soon...
    I would not call anybody because really what are they going to do unless u press charges& do u really want to get into all that?? If u call the company they could tell u they will "say" something to him., if that makes u feel better then go for it. I would not do anything more than that....

  • cevamal
    10 years ago

    It's vandalism.

    I'd report it to the person's superior and insist they come out to make it right in whichever way you see fit: sanding it off, painting over it, etc.

  • dianamc75
    Original Author
    10 years ago

    Thanks for all the perspective.

    I think the installer that did this is a decent enough person (from my limited contact) and I have gotten to know him over the last month in the capacity of home owner/installer as he did all bathrooms, closets, mudroom, pantry, laundry, and kitchen.

    I have posed this to a few different parties/forums and I am surprised by how many people think I am making too much of a big deal about this, even when I have said nothing except to pose "what would you do" as I have done here. The opinion seems to be that if I do want to make a big deal out of this, or take offence, then I am the one with doing something wrong or being prude.

    I am bothered by the total disregard for my property. As it happens, this was revealed when we had guests invited to see the progress of our home. It embarrassed me and, in fact, completely put off our friends who are shopping around for a kitchen company. I am fairly certain that if the cabinet company knew that messages were being attached to their product, they would not be pleased. I am also fairly certain he would lose his relationship with this company.

    I don't want to see that happen, but at the same time, I think something needs to be said.

    Still thinking.

    I

  • chiefy
    10 years ago

    I would say something...after the job is done. Since it's not "workmanship" that's impacting the quality of the kitchen, there's nothing to be gained from saying something right now. It could just create drama. After the job is complete though, just simply say that you didn't appreciate the sentiment, and then point out that your friends were also put off and it negatively impacted their view of the company - potential lost future revenue speaks louder than hurt feelings.

  • mrspete
    10 years ago

    I'm with Mrs. Hansen.

    I also suspect if it weren't a Christian message -- that is, if it read "made by John Smith" -- no one would be saying anything.

  • peony4
    10 years ago

    Dianamc75, yes, how awkward for you to find it when guests were present. But that might be a way to explain to the installer how inappropriate it was for him to do. You could indicate that, while you understand the sentiment, some homeowners might consider it off-putting. Then, you may share, for example, that you had guests over who happened to see it, and it left a negative impression about the kitchen company to the point where they may not pursue business with the kitchen company.

    That's one option, if you're not comfortable with going directly to the kitchen company.

    Personally, in my home, this wouldn't go away for me once the counters were installed. I'd have the image in my mind each time I looked at the countertops in the location where it was inscribed. I would erase/paint over/remove the inscription myself, and in its place, put my own words for my kitchen, whether religious or humorous, or what have you, in a gesture of reclaiming my kitchen!

  • ssdarb
    10 years ago

    The only thing written on the wood in my remodel, other than measurements, arrows, and cut marks, is a drawing of a heart by my DH with RB + SS = LOVE, and that message is currently covered up by the backsplash.

    But to be serious, if this were done in my house, I'd report it to the CG or whoever the boss is. My carpenter used to always say "have a blessed day" to me when he left for the day. I thought that was sweet and nice. But he was saying it to me personally, to my face. If he had scrawled "have a blessed day" on some wood, I would have been upset by that, even though it's the same message. Scrawling it seems pretty much the same as any other kind of vandalism. At the very least it's unprofessional.

    It seems sort of out-there, and perhaps the person is having some problems, relationships problems, dependancy problems or something else going on that might not have anything to do with religion or your remodeling job.

    I feel that you should report it to the GC or boss of the installation company. The boss can decide whether to discuss it with the installer. If this has been reported before, or it is reported in the future, then the boss probably would want to know and follow up on it. All you're doing is giving the information.

    You can be very diplomatic about it, just let the GC know what occurred and then you don't have to think about it anymore.

    Good luck with your remodeling job.

  • marthastoo
    10 years ago

    It's interesting that the OP feels that the majority opinion "seems to be that if I do want to make a big deal out of this, or take offence, then I am the one with doing something wrong or being prude" when in fact, there are exactly 3 people on this thread who are of that opinion. They all, oddly enough - or perhaps, not so oddly ;) have a user name that begins with "Mrs." Clearly, you're in the wrong for even posing the question with the Mrs. set. The overwhelming majority feel that it's inappropriate at best and vandalism at worst.

    My opinion is of the latter. I get annoyed when the tiler used red sharpie to mark the tile and we could see a hint of the red in my marble tile. I can't imagine how angry I'd be at proselytizing on my brand new cabinets.

  • CEFreeman
    10 years ago

    I don't think it's appropriate, but OTOH, it's in good spirit. I would mention it AFTER the kitchen is done, simply because of obviously offended people are (judging by this thread) and the fact your guests were "put off".

    I also think there is too much hooha over this. Put the counter on it.

    I am not being snotty when I pray (chose that on purpose) that this is the worst dilemma you come across in a venture fraught with endless possibilities for something to go wrong.

    BTW. I consider myself a faithful person, but I am not a religious person. Just throwing that in there....

  • uther
    10 years ago

    I would mention it. Just because the GC should know someone on the worksite is doodling loaves of bread and writing notes when he should be focusing on getting the job done.

  • User
    10 years ago

    Is it possible he recently became a believer? Survived an accident? Dodged a bullet? Is going through chemo or some other treatment? He likes you and wishes good things for you/your house? Christians are supposed to spread the Good News. Maybe that's all he was doing. It's a little bit like wishing everybody Merry Christmas rather than happy holidays. The happy holidays phrase REALLY offends me. If you don't celebrate Christmas, tell me happy new year.

  • suzanne_sl
    10 years ago

    I'd be unhappy. This is your kitchen, not a proselytizing opportunity. Of course the guy knew you'd see it as well as any one else in there before the counters went down. There is generally a time gap between one and the other, sometimes a long one. Maybe it gives him a religious thrill to know he was crusading for the lord or whatever he thought he was doing. Maybe he gets off "knowing" that his messages are snugged up under countertops all over town. Whatever. It's not his kitchen. It's not appropriate. I would not consider it a benign action. It's a power trip disguised as "sharing" or "giving." I'd want this "message" removed the same as removing "Go Tigers!" from the Titans' HS campus. It's not that "Go Tigers!" is bad, it's just scrawled in the wrong place. It's inappropriate, and no amount of pretend humility and "good intentions" make it OK.

  • Bunny
    10 years ago

    marthastoo, I like your powers of observation!!! Good catch. I wish I had caught the three Missuses who are of one mind.

    I am uncomfortable having theological discussions in the Kitchens forum. It can't end well. People have left the place over matters far more mundane.

  • lazy_gardens
    10 years ago

    It's a power trip disguised as "sharing" or "giving."

    It was not his kitchen, so his personal commentary is inappropriate. I would ask the company responsible for installation to remove the inappropriate graffiti.

    I would act the same way if I found someone penning quotes from Christopher Hitchens on my property.

  • PRO
    Joseph Corlett, LLC
    10 years ago

    "I have posed this to a few different parties/forums and I am surprised by how many people think I am making too much of a big deal about this, even when I have said nothing except to pose "what would you do" as I have done here. The opinion seems to be that if I do want to make a big deal out of this, or take offence, then I am the one with doing something wrong or being prude."

    Had this guy been a Satanist, I doubt they'd be so forgiving.

  • vedazu
    10 years ago

    I'm Jewish. Keep a kosher kitchen. My carpenter was a very religious Christian and respected my beliefs. Were he to have written something like that on a plywood top that was going to be covered by a countertop, I probably would feel blessed--not by Jesus, but by his hope that the kitchen would be a place of happy meals and that our family would be blessed. I supposed it is an inappropriate thing to do, but it is a kind thought.

  • Gracie
    10 years ago

    "Jesus is the eternal bread of life" doesn't sound like a blessing. It's more of a "Come to Jesus" message.

  • Muffett
    10 years ago

    I would politely mention it to my GC. Regardless of the sentiment, cabinets are not the place to be leaving messages (except if the homeowner chooses to do so). I believe my GC would be surprised and take steps to have the text removed.

  • unbiddenn
    10 years ago

    The religious message would annoy me enough to stand there while the cabinetmaker sands it off. The fact the someone is so single minded about any subject enough to hide the obsession on their handwork, kinda smacks of whack-o. Whomever wrote knew not to, or they wouldn't have placed it were it would be forever hidden. If you complain, will they pick up the nearest hammer and attack you infidel soul? Its not a blessing to me, it's underhanded. Its pushing their way in, wether you want it or not.

  • iheartgiantschnauzer
    10 years ago

    I agree with mayflowers: "Jesus is the eternal bread of life" doesn't sound like a blessing. It's more of a "Come to Jesus" message.

    Then again I no longer consider myself Christian. I am shocked so many consider it a goodwill gesture. I feel it is a disrespectful act of vandalism. I would say something to the "artist" and possibly the GC. I also don't think I'd want the "come to Jesus" sentiment underneath my countertop.

  • mdln
    10 years ago

    I would be bothered and agree it is disregard for personal property. Would take photos, remove or cover it up, and ask for a "damage to property" credit when it came time to pay the final bill.

    Ironically, I found it funny when my plumber made a written comment (on the bathroom subfloor) to the carpenters about "the floors need to be level before (he could) install the tub." I mentioned it to him and he was profusely apologetic. I considered it necessary work related communication and kind of like that it is there. It reflects the real people who built the house.

    This post was edited by mdln on Wed, Jan 22, 14 at 2:53

  • texasgal47
    10 years ago

    I'm of the same opinion as CEFreeman. For something that's going to covered over very quickly, this is "much to do about nothing." My statement stands, including references to other deities. I would then say something to the owner in passing at the end of the project.

  • Vertise
    10 years ago

    These people who come into our homes and think they can do whatever they want really bothers me.

    I agree that it has a "come to Jesus" tone, not one of a blessing, and was wondering if this is a fairly expensive kitchen or house and the remark was made as somewhat of a values judgment for your benefit. That he feels he needs to save (people like) you.

    Nevertheless what his point was, it is completely out of line, intrusive behavior and very disrespectful of personal property and others to be taking liberties like that in another person's home. It doesn't matter what the content.

    This post was edited by snookums2 on Wed, Jan 22, 14 at 9:22

  • Gracie
    10 years ago

    For those who think this is no big deal, a blessing, or spreading the Good News as one is supposed to, how would you feel if the message read "Allah is the eternal bread of life. Allah akbar." Is that okay?

  • cevamal
    10 years ago

    marthastoo: the OP said she posed the question to several different forums. The proportion of people here who said "No big deal" is not necessarily reflective of the proportion of people she queried overall.

    It doesn't matter whether his message was a blessing or an attempt at conversion, it's still vandalism.

    What if he had written "Heil Hitler!" or drawn a swastika? Would that be okay since it's going to be covered up?

    The message doesn't matter. What matters is he's writing on someone else's property.

  • powermuffin
    10 years ago

    I am not religious- I would let it go. If anything, I would speak to him individually.

    When we pulled off 1970's wall panels in a previous house, we found naked ladies sprayed on the wall board. I didn't take offense although I thought it was tacky to say the least.
    Diane

  • nosoccermom
    10 years ago

    A few issues:
    1. Writing on someone else's property (to be covered up)
    2. Writing a religious sentiment (to be permanent but hidden)
    3. Writing as a way of proselytizing or blessing

    I personally am in the camp that it matters what was written. A note to a colleague about the installation would not bother me. This phrase and the fact that it is hidden is kind of creepy and sounds like proselytizing rather than a genuine blessing, i.e.: "Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty."
    First, by equating Himself with bread, Jesus is saying he is essential for life. Second, the life Jesus is referring to is not physical life, but eternal life.

    I wonder how he would react if you blessed him with something like "Allah Akbar."

    But to answer your question:
    How do you feel if it stays under your counter tops? Was it only embarrassing because your friends saw it?

    I personally would not report him to the cabinet company. However, I would say to him that you saw the inscription and you'd like to have it removed and change it to something that you want, e.g. initials of your family members, a generic blessing, or whatever.

    This post was edited by nosoccermom on Wed, Jan 22, 14 at 16:11

  • debrak2008
    10 years ago

    I'm not going to comment on the exact issue.

    What is surprising to me is how many of you have said that you found writing or pictures hidden under drywall and such. If we don't already have enough to worry about when hiring contractors and tradespersons, now we have to worry about them leaving unappreciated messages behind. With all the stories lately about workers smoking in homes, leaving garbage between walls, etc. it like you have to be there 24/7 to supervise anyone you hire. So glad DH is able to DIY 95% of everything.

  • beachlily z9a
    10 years ago

    After taking picture, I would be the one using sandpaper. Then complaining to management.

  • jerzeegirl
    10 years ago

    I am not a believer (the closest I come to religion is chanting "om" at yoga) but I would let the message stay for the sake of "kitchen archaeology".

    First, it gives you a great kitchen story.

    Second, it shows that your carpenter dedicated his work to a higher power and therefore takes his job seriously. The fact that he put it in a place that isn't supposed to be seen means that he is not trying to show off or proselytize. He saw it as a gesture of friendship and did it because he was comfortable with you. Personally, I would have him come back and sign or initial his message for posterity (well, until the next demo). It would be fun for future owners to find his secret message and bread drawing.

    In our 1930s townhouse in Queen NY we were repairing a bannister and it had to be removed. Under the newel post were two signatures and a 1939 penny. When I did my kitchen in Tampa, I had the two installers hop up on the counter and sign and date the top of the corner cabinet. It not unusual for workmen to tag their work.

  • robo (z6a)
    10 years ago

    I was thinking similarly -- I'm like 100% atheist, and maybe it's just from living and working in slightly older homes (60-150 years old), but there are all kinds of surprises in the walls and under the floors. It's fun when you find things that are personal when you take off the finishes. Or, a signature, dedication or personal note behind a drawer in a handmade piece of furniture.

    My contractor is a trusted professional but at the end of the day, I figure under the finishes is his domain and over them is mine. There's spraypaint, marker, pencil and what have you all over the shell of my kitchen right now. Doesn't affect me a bit after the finishes go up.

    Now if it were an expression of hatred, I could understand feeling bad every time one were reminded of it.This didn't strike me in that way. And for me, if it weren't ill-meant, it wouldn't matter if it were Muslim, Sikh, Christian, Jewish or Pastafarian -- it's all the same as far as I'm concerned.

    This post was edited by robotropolis on Wed, Jan 22, 14 at 19:59

  • nosoccermom
    10 years ago

    It's interesting to read the different perspectives.

    I think it depends on how you feel about this. The responses so far should have validated your finding it "strange." On the other hand, there's nothing wrong with those who think it's ok or not a big deal.

    I probably couldn't keep quiet and would mention it to him. I'd want to know what the intention was.

  • michellemarie
    10 years ago

    Absolutely nothing. I would move on and save my energy for when you will need it. If this is the only thing you have to consume your time on this project, you are luckier than most posters on this form. I would ignore it.

  • CEFreeman
    10 years ago

    jerzygirl! As a 35 year yoga teacher, I'm here to remind 'ya that yoga is not in any way, shape or form, a religion or faith. "Om" is representative of the first sound made in the universe after creation. In Sanskrit, it also holds all the tongue, teeth and lip positions of every single word. IOW, your mouth movements to make "Om."

    Sorry. Too many fundamentalists freak about yoga being anti-Christian or something that would take someone away from their faith by who knows what. I think it's important to (to me, as a practitioner) put this out there. Yoga stills the body in preparation for meditation, to be open to the God/Universe/Spirit within. Monotheistic, vs. Dualistic.

    Sorry to hijack this thread. It's a point with me that too many people i.e. new teachers, don't know.

    To return to topic:
    Under my drywall I have OM symbols. I have Wiccan mother images, I have crosses, stars of all kinds, aphorisms from Oscar Wilde, Gandhi, Christ, Buddha, friends, the Washington Post, etc. But, I must add, I put them there. Who knows what my ex-POC put under the drywall! LOL!

  • PRO
    Joseph Corlett, LLC
    10 years ago

    I've taped cardboard templates to commercial countertop installations with "This is not your workbench." written in large black magic marker and I don't care who doesn't like it because I know who's going to be expected to come back out and fix the scratches for free.

    "When we pulled off 1970's wall panels in a previous house, we found naked ladies sprayed on the wall board. I didn't take offense although I thought it was tacky to say the least."

    Naked ladies offensive? Impossible.

  • mommyto4boys
    10 years ago

    I guess possibly the best way for you to make your decision is what is best for you personally. This is obviously one of those topics that causes people to have strong opinions one way or the other.

    It is definite that it is your property and it should not have been done. On the same token, it could be on your dry-wall, built-ins that you happened to not even see, or the back of a tile. I'm not making light of this, but I suspect this happens more than "we" are aware.

    I would also feel that it was meant as a blessing & not look into studying the words too much.

    I would ask yourself, is this going to bother me in the future. Is having it permanently covered up still going to cause me discontentment, hostility or anger. Are you going to feel some sort of bad karma having it there? If so, then have someone come in and have it removed.

    I would also advise to be very careful if you "tell-on" the person who did the writing on your cabinets. Please be aware that he may get fired and lose his and his families source of income. What he did was wrong, but I would not be able to sleep at night knowing he lost his job (probably over doing something he felt was a blessing). I would rather see the FU writers get canned once. So, if you decide you can not live with it there, please move forward. If you just want him to know that others (in the future) might not be as "tolerant or nice about his writings." Is it possible you could just contact him & give him the warning, rather than have him possibly get fired.

    This will nonetheless give you a story to talk about for many years. I wish you the best with your build and hope you enjoy your new home.

  • bpath
    10 years ago

    Power muffin, my "discovery" should have been in your house: under the powder room wallpaper, facing the commode, was a cowboy peeking through the slats of a saloon door. I'd gone to high school with the kids that lived in the house, and judging from the initials and drawing style I think the artist was also our classmate, and a friend of mine back then. We painted right over it. Quickly! (Elsewhere under wallpaper, we found a charming cafe scene above the chair rail in the kitchen and cheery birds in the hall bath.)

    To the op, if I were offended I would bring it up with the workman. If I were not offended, I would bring it up with the workman that other people might be. What did you do?

  • patty_cakes
    10 years ago

    I would take it to mean my kitchen had been blessed. ;) Don't make more out of it than it is. Workmen are known for writing/drawing on walls and floors. As long as it's not a threatening or obscene message, I would ignore it. Why put someone's job on the line who may have a family? We all do stupid things.

  • dianamc75
    Original Author
    10 years ago

    I didn't end up saying anything. It was covered up on Friday. Too many other things to think about at this point.

  • deedles
    10 years ago

    Amen to that!

    :)