I wanted honed granite and was talked out of it by the stone fabricator (and DH) for the reasons you mentioned. The fabricator showed me samples of both finishes and the color change was significant on both light and dark stone.

With that being said, do the research and get what YOU want.

Dark always shows everything. Honed tends to trap fingerprint oils and be more difficult to clean. Antiqued or leathered dark stone is much more forgiving, but also is more difficult to fabricate well, especially at the seam area. It's also more costly than the same stone that is polished. The softer and lighter grey look can be a nice supporting actor in the kitchen, but only if you are fully prepared to deal with the extra maintenance.

The pros should give you the pros and the cons of any choice, but since they have an interest in making a sale, many gloss over or deny the issues. It's always best to get a sample of the actual material under consideration and make the decision for yourself. And perhaps widen your scope to consider other materials such as a dark wood, or a solid surface. Or laminate. (It doesn't have top tier snob appeal, but it's an incredibly functional material that would work well for you.) Those have drawbacks as well. There is no perfect surface.

"Dark always shows everything."

Except when it doesn't. :) I have dark mottled quartz and the only things that show are salt, sugar and flour. I like to keep a super clean and smooth counter and I'm appalled at the number of dried spills I can't see, but later feel when they've dried and hardened.

I love the look of dark counters, esp. with white cabinets as a design choice. But there are two reasons I wouldn't go dark again: 1) hard to see spills, and 2) I prefer a lighter background when I'm working.