Donna - I use to do that, but never stuck to them so stopped doing it. I like your joy, laughter and enjoyment of life one. Maybe I should add that to my To Do List! Good luck.
Happy New Year!
Clare

I don't believe in new years resolutions at all because I think that, on the whole, they are kind of punitive and self defeating. I do like your resolutions and certainly I've been thinking the same thing. Not that I need more joy or laughter, exactly. My children are still young enough that all our troubles are little ones and we have more joy and laughter every day than ever. But I certainly live with a lot of worry, a lot of anxiety, as a result of my overall political and ecological concerns. I'd like to work on taking each day as it comes, and not worrying so much about long term issues. I think the best way to do that, for me, is to make a short list of things I can do locally, now, that I think will effect things long term and just buckle down and do them and stop worrying about the future.

I read a book on this topic a few years ago, when my daughter was going through a gloomy phase, on "raising an optimistic child." The thing I learned from that book is that the difference between optimists and pessimists is that pessimists are, basically, people with a pretty realistic view of the situation (that would be me) while optimists have an unrealistic view of the situation that enables them to deal with it better and to live happier lives. Studies of the two personalities show optimists tend to isolate problems/relationships with people and not let them overwhelm the situation. what I mean is that optimists tend to say things to themselves like "I'm having a bad day" instead of "I'm a worthless human being." Or, "That didn't work so well" instead of "Why can't I do X..." That enables them to break projects and problems down into smaller, managable pieces and work on those pieces while pessimists tend to give up. I've seen that over and over again in my two daughters and I see it in myself all the time.

My mother says that worry is like a muscle, you have to keep using it all the time. That's a nice little joke but I think that joy and taking life less seriously are also like muscles, you have to work on achieving those states and not letting other states of imagination (worry, grief, annoyance with yourself, the future) take over.

I guess that got a little long but this is the conversations board and I do love your chicago kitchen!

abfab

Instead of a resolution ("I will lose ten lbs", sort of thing) I try to choose an aphorism, catchphrase, line of poetry, etc., to keep in mind over the coming year. It's a sort of a mental touchstone that frames my hopes, or intentions, for the upcoming period. It seems to leave me more room for change, and also allows me to miss the goal occasionally, but then reorient myself back to the original track sucessfully.

My winter solstice vow this year:

"Let there be peace on Earth, and let it begin with me."

Molly~

I try to look at the beginning of the new year as a chance to do better in everything; it's a clean slate and new opportunities abound and await at every turn.

molly, that is so nice ; I also like this one

"I'm too blessed to be stressed"

so donna, your goal to be more joyful is a great one ; I try to surround myself with positive people; I've managed to weed out people who dragged me down or made me uncomfortable, at least limit the time I have to spend around them.

I do believe that positive change starts within you, you change and the people around you start to change.

I can be days without watching the news or reading the paper; I have music on and immerse myself in my world and take care of me and my life.
I find that we are sollicited a lot by news and that does not always have a joyful effect on your well being. Taking a break is not bad, you can always catch up later.

Whatever I wrote sounds preachy but these are things I work on constantly in
order to stay happy, it's an on-going process to be taken day by day.

Exercise and meditation are the 2 things I want to do more of in the new year.

mitchdesj,
I stopped watching the news long ago. I think it should be called the "bad news".
For me resolutions are benificial. I try and look at my past year and seek out changes. My typical day begins with my "to do" list, (after GW). I spend a lot of time cleaning which I hate. I don't want a life filled with chores. I want a life filled with joy and laughter. I want to play more. For many years I praticed Kung Fu. I loved it so much but the school closed. Since then I have not exercised, except walking.
2006 was all about remodeling my kitchen. It was very stressful and now I am starting my bathroom. I want Less stress, more joy.
The other day I found out about a ballet class which meets every Thursday for 15 weeks. I think I am going to sign up! Something new and exciting!
I am going to make a New Years resolution and when I think of it I will tell you what it is.
abfab,
I agree with your analogy on pessimists. I live in Chicago, and this time of the year the temperature should be around 20 degrees. It has been warm and balmy. I hate it!!! I know this is global warming in process. I do exactly what you say to try and stay optimistic. I ignore many problems of our planet. I feel like I am helpless to change the world. (same goes for my condo board). I admire you for your tenacity.
Anyway, let's all resolve to keep this forum a source of comfort and joy,
Donna

Donna,

I used to live in Chicago--in fact my oldest daughter was born in Evanston Hospital--and boy do I remember those cold winters! When I first lived in Chicago I was unmarried and overweight. I joined weightwatchers and lost about 30 pounds and remember being literally blown off my feet by the winds off the lake and thinking "darn! so that weight *was* good for something!" CAn't imagine a balmy chicago winter!

I really like housekeeping/molly's phrase "let there be peace and let it begin with me." It reminds me of "be the change you want to see in the world" and it also reminds me to keep things positive. Hard to do when I'm such a cynic. I have seen this one everywhere recently, and it hits home because she was an anthropologist, like me

"A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has."--Margaret Mead.

hugs to all of you, and especially you Organic_donna, on this difficult day.

abfab

abfab,
" hard to do when I'm such a cynic". Don't be a cynic, you have too much kindness.
Donna

I am going to try and take up, experience or learn one new thing a month. At 63 you can get into a rut. It doesn't have to be big things. Last week I learned how to "paint" on my computer. (a poor man's version of photoshop) A couple of weeks ago I went bowling for the first time. Some of these things will stick some won't, but I gotta try! Once my house is done i am taking Spanish.
Happy New Year everybody.

Buenos Dias jilliepie,
I think that is wonderful.
Adios amiga,
Donna

actually I think it's Buenas Noches, my mistake