As he got older, he became more deformed from the bleeding into his joints and the muscle reactions to the volume of pain inside. Its been really hard to focus on the good he gave all of us - I wanted so much for things to be different for him. He was very frail. He slipped in the kitchen, hit his head which caused an intra-cranial bleed. They tried to save him by doing an operation to relieve pressure but it was unsuccessful. In the end, his standing instructions for not being kept alive by breathing apparatus took precedence.

As a tiny bit of comic relief, he died at a hospital in DC while living in Maryland. The DC Police are investigating as a homicide, so he may in fact be late to his own funeral.

As a second blow, another brother was hospitalized after having a stroke yesterday. He's seven years younger than I am.

I am so tired.

Nancy

My thoughts are with you and your family.

One of my sisters took the lead for managing this and the cremation. We are two funerals each at this point, she also did my mother while I've done my first husband and my father. I imagine we'd both rather not do any more. I told dh that, of course he could do with my body what would make him feel the best, but frankly, I'd rather skip the whole thing.

My only request is to die outside if that is possible, even if its cold and snowing. He sort of understands that I feel the most spiritual outside and would rather hear the birds or feel snow last instead of fan motors and bleeping.

The DC police finally decided that they will release his body as he died accidentally.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I just hope you can find strength and comfort in your memories of your brother. I hope you don't take that as a corny thing for me to say. I definitely concentrate on the happier times with my father and my MIL and FIL and it does help. As you probably know.

I normally don't respond to posts as I am so disconnected from the rest of you (me way out in the middle of the Pacific and most of the gang on the east coast) but you were so kind to respond to my 2011 request for layout help that I wanted you to know I am thinking of you and sending you prayers and hugs.

Bless you and your family,
Stephanie

Please take care of yourself.

It worked as I would go from tears to smiles-through-the-tears. Now, my memories always seem to go to those happy times!

With the holidays approaching, it will get even more difficult, but keep those happy memories front & center!

I'm praying for you and your family to find peace.