Sad beyond belief

11 years ago

This morning I found out that my BFF's eldest son passed away suddenly yesterday. He was in his mid-30's, had just finished his Ph.D. in history recently, has a wife and 3 young children (a set of twins and a new daughter born this past December). The VM didn't say how he had died so I naturally thought maybe a car accident or something like that. No, he died of sepsis. They have no idea how he got the infection in the first place. They think it might have been from a skin rash he had. He felt bad at the end of the week and went to his doctor; the doctor said it was a virus--go home and rest. Sunday a.m. he couldn't stand so his wife called for an ambulance. He passed away Monday morning.

I'm trying to get ready to drive down to Texas to be with her and her family, but I can't seem to stay on task or think straight. My mind just keeps saying, "Oh my God, he's dead, he's dead!!! The grief in my heart and in my head feels like it's going to explode. I've been through the death of a close loved one more times than I care to remember, but the circumstances of this one are hitting particularly hard. I'm sorry to bother you with this, but I just needed to talk. Please hug your children extra tight tonight and say a prayer for this family. Thank you.

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Comments (8)

breezygirl
11 years ago
Oh Flowers! I am so sorry to hear your shocking news! Dying at such a young age is devastating. Sepsis? Wow! Please tell your friend that I am thinking and praying for her family. My good wishes to you also.

I've been giving my kids extra hugs lately anyway for my own reasons. Life is so short.

Thinking of you,
Wendy
angie_diy
11 years ago
Oh, flowers, I have never had such a sad experience. I wish you (and your friend) steadfast strength. ((hugs))
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flwrs_n_co
Original Author
11 years ago
Thank you Breezy and Angie for your kind words, thoughts, and prayers. I'm leaving in a few minutes to drive down to TX to be with my friend and her family. To say they are devastated is an understatement. That a simple skin rash can result in sepsis and death is so scary. Thank you for keeping them in your prayers.
Debbi Branka
11 years ago
I'm so sorry Flowers for your friend's horrible loss. I've been hearing of this more and more recently. My friend's mom just died from this very thing a few weeks ago in Florida. Please be safe in your travels and prayers for your friend's family and for you.
flwrs_n_co
Original Author
11 years ago
I got back last night from the funeral. Friends and family flew in from all over the US. Many of his students (he was a middle school history teacher) and their parents attended as well. He was well loved and respected, that's for sure.

His death almost certainly could have been avoided with the proper medical attention. Unfortunately, his doctor dismissed the rash and lesion on his inner thigh and said his symptoms were from a virus--go home and rest. He did and got steadily worse until he was rushed to the hospital. Organ failure commenced in spite of the strong antibiotics he was given. It was simply too little too late. How quickly this young man succumbed to this is truly frightening.

Thank you all for your prayers and words of comfort.
blfenton
11 years ago
Oh no. I'm so sorry. This is just so sad.
beachlily z9a
11 years ago
Flwrs, so sorry to hear of your friend's death. Surely it could have been avoided.

A couple of year back, my husband's doctor was out of town, so when he had lesions on his head and an open sore on the inside of his knee, he went to a local dermatologist who was well respected. For botox, as we determined. He looked at my husband's head and prescribed some ointment and wouldn't look at his knee. Hubs was furious! Got an appointment to the Regional Oncology Center (he was known there because of 3 different kinds of cancer from Agent Orange), and went to see his oncologist. Immediately, he was slapped into the hospital and rigged up with bags of antibiotics. He had mersa. If he had waited, he would have died. He was in the infectious ward in a single room. He wouldn't let me visit so I shopped for jammies and handed them through the door to my husband. Picked him up 5 days later. That was the only time he had been hospitalized during any of the cancer treatments. Scary!!! We did talk on our cellphones, but that was our only contact. His doctors were from small islands in the Caribbean where they have a lot of infectious diseases. He was treated very well but happy to get home!

Your friend's doctor really dropped the ball. It takes someone with a lot of experience to accurately diagnose the seemingly simple problems thereby saving the patient. It's hard to find those angels of life!!
flwrs_n_co
Original Author
11 years ago
Beachlily, I'm so glad your husband's infection was addressed quickly and effectively once he went to his oncologist. I so wish this young man's doctor would have done the same. I think that's why I've been completely unable to focus on anything since I got back from the funeral; I just keep thinking he never should have died. I'm supposed to be getting ready to leave to visit my DS and his wife in OK on Wednesday and I'm having a terrible time trying to get myself organized to go down there even for a short visit.

Actually, my friend's cousin is a nursing professor and strongly suspects the infection may have been mersa. His wife and children and have not been back in the house since this all happened and are trying to figure out if they need to decontaminate the contents of the house (not sure how one would go about doing that).

I'm probably going back a little after July 4th since my friend's DH works out of the country for 30 days and then is home for 30. His 30 days out of country begins July 1. I'm sure this will all hit her hard when he leaves (they're currently in the middle of moving and should be completely moved before he leaves). I'll go back down to spend some time with her and help her get settled into the new house.