For such a well-trafficked forum, we are still something of a family. A large, extended, many-interested, sometimes unruly family, each with many cares, joys, and concerns. One of our family members, Breezygirl, is suffering right now. She received some bad news about her father recently. She conveyed this in the "New to Kitchens" thread, a pained voice seeking an outlet among friends. There are not many of us regulars who actually look at that thread, so I have decided to start a thread over on Conversations. (Click here.)

I have communicated privately with Breezy, and know that she would welcome your support over in that forum.

For now, please don't bump this thread, at least not until it begins to sink in a few days. Instead, use the "Conversations" thread. We don't make enough use of that forum, and this the kind of thing it was meant for.

Dear Wendy, on behalf of the GW KF, please accept our thoughts, prayers and support.

I live in the big city up north (assuming it starts with an S) and have gone through 14 years of cancer treatments with my husband, including some very serious procedures this last year. That big city up north has some of the best cancer facilities in the WORLD. Your father couldn't be in better hands.

I also second the suggestion about Caring Bridge. A friend urged me to set up a website. I was reluctant to do so - we're not even on Facebook - but it has been one of the best decisions I ever made. It has been a godsend.

Hang in there. All of you are stronger than you think.

Rainwood--Yes, Seattle. I feel better after having visited the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance that my Dad will receive the best care available. Hearing survival stories like yours gives me hope for as good an outcome. My father is using CaringBridge and says it is extrememly helpful to him. Good luck with your husband!

CKGM--Thanks for the additional urge for CaringBridge. Losing a 9-year old child? My mind can't even go there.

I just posted an update over on the Conversation side. It's not good news for us, I'm afraid. But my father is still upbeat and determined to fight.

Thank you all again. Thank you sounds so inadequate for all your kind thoughs and prayers of support, but it's all I got!

I appreciate the prayer and support he, I and my family have received. Please continue to send good wishes as we struggle through this time.

Wendy

(((hugs)))

Karen

I am very sorry to hear of the loss of your father. I lost my father suddenly several years ago and can understand how you might be feeling. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Warm Regards,

Babushka Cat

I list my father last year from heart failure. Even though I knew it was coming, when he passed, it still felt like someone ripped my heart out.
When I saw him afterward, my dad was no longer struggling to breathe and he looked so peaceful.

Will be thinking of you during this difficult time.

Nancy

Anna

you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers..

Lynn

Christine

Bren

I am so sorry to hear of your sudden loss. Please accept my condolences. I am grateful that you decided to speak out (quietly) at the bottom of the "New to kitchens" thread, so that we could all have our chance to express to you how much you mean to us. Peace and ((((Hugs))) to you.

Bren

These will be some very difficult days ahead. You will make it through them, stay strong for your mom. He will stay with you always, he is the man who taught you so much, every decision you make in your life is in someway a result of something you learned from him. Remember that.

Remember your cyber family is keeping you in their prayers during these times.

(((hugs)))

Karen

Amanda

When I said goodbye to my Dad that day at his house before the funeral home took his body, the word peace kept repeating in my head. The man never showed pain. He was tougher than pavement, as my uncle said. But in the weeks since his initial diagnosis, his pain grew exponentially. The pills he was taking weren't lessening the pain so he had been switched to a long-acting med the day before, which didn't work either. I spoke to him the night before he died and again heard the extreme pain in his voice. Despite that, he told me, as usual, that he'd be fine. I asked him to page his onco doc about the new meeds not working, and he appeased me by saying he'd do it in the morning.

No matter how much it hurt to see him gone, I knew that the pain finally left him. The chemo road ahead with uncurable cancer would, I know, have been miserable for him. To see his grandchildren for a few more months would have been enough to make him bare it, though. Peace.

My Dad had a CaringBridge site where he journaled about his cancer. No one wanted to write this journal update. I couldn't sleep that night so wrote this post below. I thought I'd share it with you since you've been along on the ride with me. (Bonnie is my Dad's wife, not my mother.)
________________________

PEACE
Written May 13, 2012 7:54pm

Our amazingly strong father has been saying for weeks that we'll beat his pancreatic cancer. In a way, he has. Sadly, he suffered a sudden heart attack yesterday morning at his home while sitting in his favorite chair. As Bonnie described it, he has gone home to be with the Lord.

Bonnie was immediately surrounded by family (Dad's brother Brian and his wife Sue, daughter Wendy and Kevin, son David and Karen with their sons Zander and Isaac, son Daniel and Melissa with their daughter Katie, son Adam and Danielle expecting their first child in July, Bonnie's daughter Cassie with her family, Bonnie's sister and her husband, and Bob Hager), church family and pastor, and friends who brought food, flowers, love, support, and prayers. I'm not sure I could name all the people who visited as there were so many (most of whom I've never met), but we thank all of you for your love.

Dad was anticipating both his grandson Nathan's first T-ball game that afternoon and, what he couldn't mention in his journal post from Friday, the surprise birthday party he had been planning for Bonnie. I'm sure he was cheering Nathan on from heaven, and the sounds of his other grandchildren playing and laughing in his living room must have made him chuckle and shake his head in delight as it always did.

Probably because he didn't want a big fuss made over him, Dad told Bonnie that he didn't want a memorial service. We think it important for his many, many friends and loved ones to have a chance to gather together to share our memories of him so we are planning for some type of event to honor him. He touched so many people with his humor, stories, kindness, and fishing and hunting prowess over his too-short life. Please stay tuned for details.

Thank you deeply for the loving support and prayers you offered to Dad and Bonnie over the past weeks. I know that hearing from all of you and reading your messages on his guestbook helped give him the strength to keep fighting. His pain is now gone, and he is in peace.

(((hugs))))

~Amanda

I hope you will be blessed with some peace in the days, weeks, months to come.

More (((HUGS))) to you and your family.

My thoughts continue to be with you and your family.

Lynn

My thoughts are with you and your family and I pray that your memories of him bring you much peace and comfort.

I loved your "Celebration of Life" in lieu of a service. Be grateful for your close family, and see him in the faces of his grandchildren!

Hugs to you!
Joyce

Mary

Please know you are not alone. You will have tough days ahead, and if you are like me, they are days that pop up out of no where for no reason at all...just because (not a holiday or a birthday, just a normal ol' day). My offer still stands, I am here to listen if you just need to vent your thoughts, anger or emotions :-)

I will continue to pray for you. Your word about Peace was so neat. We know peace comes from the Lord!!

Fishies

My heart is saddened tonight to learn of your dad's passing. What a shock to me, but so much more to you. I am thankful that you knew the love of such a caring, wonderful man. That is a tremendous blessing. I too, am facing the possibility of losing my dear father (he's fighting stage IV cancer.) Each day is a gift.

May the Lord draw you and your family closer to each other and himself, and may he comfort your hearts during this time. I'm praying for you and your loved ones!

(((Hugs)))

-Amy

Colorfast
(did you find a home for the dogs?)

Piaa

Wishing you and your family peace and comfort as you move on through your grief and celebrate your father's life.

Cj

Your love for him is demonstrated in that though your heart is broken beyond comprehension, you are happy for him that he is at peace and pain free. Though he isn't here physically with you, he will always be with you where ever you go because he will always reside within your heart. You are in part the person you are because of who he is.

None of us are ready to loose a parent. You read from those that have already lost a parent (I lost both of mine - my mom 3 days after my 35 b-day) and one of the things they tell you is how old they were...it's life changing. My DH lost his DM in Feb and I remember when I held him in my arms as he wept. There are no words that can be said or anything anyone can do to ease the loss for those that are suffering.

Life is likely getting back to "normal" which feels in itself abnormal. The normalcy though will come and thoughts of your Dad as you busy yourself with your family will come about. He will be there giving you the strength to not only cope with the loss of his passing, but through life. Now he is that much closer in spirit.