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O/T Breezy could use a lift

Posted by Angie_DIY (My Page) on
Fri, May 4, 12 at 1:35

Dear GW community,

For such a well-trafficked forum, we are still something of a family. A large, extended, many-interested, sometimes unruly family, each with many cares, joys, and concerns. One of our family members, Breezygirl, is suffering right now. She received some bad news about her father recently. She conveyed this in the "New to Kitchens" thread, a pained voice seeking an outlet among friends. There are not many of us regulars who actually look at that thread, so I have decided to start a thread over on Conversations. (Click here.)

I have communicated privately with Breezy, and know that she would welcome your support over in that forum.

For now, please don't bump this thread, at least not until it begins to sink in a few days. Instead, use the "Conversations" thread. We don't make enough use of that forum, and this the kind of thing it was meant for.

Dear Wendy, on behalf of the GW KF, please accept our thoughts, prayers and support.

Here is a link that might be useful: Thread for Breezy on Conversations forum


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: O/T Breezy could use a lift

I am a long-time on and off lurker, especially in the Kitchens forum, and your situation finally convinced me to register and participate.

I live in the big city up north (assuming it starts with an S) and have gone through 14 years of cancer treatments with my husband, including some very serious procedures this last year. That big city up north has some of the best cancer facilities in the WORLD. Your father couldn't be in better hands.

I also second the suggestion about Caring Bridge. A friend urged me to set up a website. I was reluctant to do so - we're not even on Facebook - but it has been one of the best decisions I ever made. It has been a godsend.

Hang in there. All of you are stronger than you think.


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Bumping for a bit... hoping to hear from Breezy over in Conversations.


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bump


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Bumping and adding that Caring Bridge has been a lifeline for my friend who lost her 9 year old child to cancer last year. Breezy, we are here for you.


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bump! Bump!


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Angie--I didn't think anyone would read those two little sentences I wrote on the "New to Kitchens" thread because, as you said, not many read to the bottom of the thread with the bumps so I thought I was in a way "safe" to post there. It was a way for me to tell the universe without really telling anyone. I appreciate you reaching out to me and for starting these threads.

Rainwood--Yes, Seattle. I feel better after having visited the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance that my Dad will receive the best care available. Hearing survival stories like yours gives me hope for as good an outcome. My father is using CaringBridge and says it is extrememly helpful to him. Good luck with your husband!

CKGM--Thanks for the additional urge for CaringBridge. Losing a 9-year old child? My mind can't even go there.

I just posted an update over on the Conversation side. It's not good news for us, I'm afraid. But my father is still upbeat and determined to fight.

Thank you all again. Thank you sounds so inadequate for all your kind thoughs and prayers of support, but it's all I got!


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My father had a heart attack this morning at home and passed away. He was taking large doses of pain medication to try to ease the growing abdominal pain. We were set to start chemo on Wednesday after the diagnosis of pancreatic cancer was confirmed last Wednesday.

I appreciate the prayer and support he, I and my family have received. Please continue to send good wishes as we struggle through this time.

Wendy


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Oh, such shocking news. I'm so sorry for your loss, and the brief time you had to learn about and then come to terms with the situation. I wish you and your family well in the coming hours/days.


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I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family will remain in my prayers.


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Oh breezy, I am so, so sorry for your loss! May your dad rest in peace.

(((hugs)))


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So saddened to hear of your father passing away Breezy. Have been thinking of you since learning of your father's illness.
Sending thoughts and prayers your way. May your heart find comfort and peace.

Karen


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So, so very sorry, Breezy. Thoughts, prayers, good wishes and cyber hugs are on their way to you.


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Oh, Breezy, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Sending prayers for peace and comfort...


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I'm very sorry to hear this. My condolences to you and your family.


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Oh, I'm so sorry, Breezy!! You must be in such shock--I hope you have lots of support right now--I'll keep you in my prayers.


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I'm sorry for the pain you are going through. I will be praying for comfort and strength for you and your family.


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Prayers and support from Colorado. I am very sorry for your loss and the for shock you have just under gone. Peace to you.


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Oh Breezy, I'm so sorry for your loss! You and your family will continue to be in thoughts and prayers.


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Breezy, I am sorry to hear this, please accept my sincere condolences.


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Breezy,

I am very sorry to hear of the loss of your father. I lost my father suddenly several years ago and can understand how you might be feeling. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Warm Regards,

Babushka Cat


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Breezy, I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family have been dealt quite a double shock. May you soon find peace and strength.


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I am sorry for your loss Breezy. My thoughts and prayers are with you.


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My thoughts and prayers for you and your family as you go through this painful time.


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I am so sorry to hear this, Breezy. Your family has been through so much already.


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Wendy
I am so sorry to hear about your father. He was so young. God bless you and your family. I wish I could give you a hug today but here is a cyber hug for you. I lived 500 miles from my parents and would give my dad hugs over the phone each time we would call,
It sounds quirky but it really helped us

I list my father last year from heart failure. Even though I knew it was coming, when he passed, it still felt like someone ripped my heart out.
When I saw him afterward, my dad was no longer struggling to breathe and he looked so peaceful.


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Breezy...my heartfelt condolences to you and your family...so sorry to hear this news...
Please know that Dad will always be with you, in your heart, thoughts and memories of happy years together. You will certainly feel his presence and his love always, and you will smile and be comforted.

Will be thinking of you during this difficult time.


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Breezy, I am so sorry to hear this. We are still hugging and praying from Texas!

Nancy


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Oh Breezy,
I'm so very sorry for your great loss. My prayers will be with you. Having had the love of a father is a great thing and sadly not everyone is so blessed. After my father died, I kept reminding myself that I was blessed beyond measure to have felt his unconditional love for as long as I did ....I hope when the pain eases you'll be able to find comfort with that knowledge too.
Grace


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Breezy, so sorry to hear this. My condolences.


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My deepest sympathies Breezy. Hugs to you and your family.


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So sorry for your loss, it's never easy to lose anyone you love.


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Very sorry to hear of your loss. You and your family will be in our prayers.


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Very sorry for your loss. Will be thinking of you today.


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Im so sorry for your loss. I lost my father suddenly many years ago, and although the pain has lessened over time I still miss him greatly. I hope your friends and family hold you tight during this difficult time.


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So sorry for your loss, Wendy. :(


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So sorry, Breezy. My heart and prayers go out to you and your whole family at this time.


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Breezy, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. My deepest sympathies to you and your family.


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((Wendy)) I'm so sorry for your loss. How sudden :(


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Breezy Girl Wendy, in case you don't make it over to Discussions, just want to express my condolences over the loss of your dad. I hope you and your family find comfort in each other in the season ahead as you adjust to this huge loss.

Anna


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So sorry to hear of the loss of your dad...

you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers..


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Wendy I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts will be with you and your family during this difficult time. c


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Breezy, I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts.


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I am so sorry for your loss. I've been thinking of you since last week and your post brought me to tears. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.


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My sincerest of condolences for the loss of your Dad.


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I'm so sorry for your loss. Your family is in my prayers.


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Oh no. Breezy I am so very sorry for the loss of your dad. I just don't know what to say except I'm thinking of you.

Lynn


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I'm very sorry for the loss of your dad, Wendy. You and your family are in my prayers.


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Breezy, I am so very sorry for your loss. My condolences to you and your family. You are all in my prayers.


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My condolences to you and your family.


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I can't tell you how sorry I am. I will continue to pray for all of you!


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Wendy,
I've been off-line for a couple of weeks and just saw this thread when I logged in now. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I can not imagine how painful this must be. I'll be thinking of you often and sending hugs your way.

Christine


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Just wanted to add my condolences.


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I would like to add my condolences also. So sorry for your loss.

Bren


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Oh, Breezy, I'm so sorry. A lot of us here at GW are thinking of you. My condolences to you and your family.


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breezygirl, I'm so sorry for your loss. No matter what age we are, it is so very difficult to lose a parent. My heart goes out to you. You and your family are in my prayers tonight.


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Breezy,
So sorry to hear about your dad. Hugs and prayers going out to you and your family. It's a difficult time, take care of yourself.
Gigi


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You were on my mind earlier today for some reason and was praying for you.
All I can say is the sudden shock of him going home isn't easy, there is NO easy way to lose a parent. There's not an easy way to battle cancer either.
I'm praying for your family.
This disease sucks, just really really sucks.
Bless your family.


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So sorry for your sudden loss. Sending prayers and warm thoughts to you and your family.
Kim


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Very sorry to hear of your loss. You and your family will be in our prayers.


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Dear Wendy,

I am so sorry to hear of your sudden loss. Please accept my condolences. I am grateful that you decided to speak out (quietly) at the bottom of the "New to kitchens" thread, so that we could all have our chance to express to you how much you mean to us. Peace and ((((Hugs))) to you.


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I am so sorry.


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Breezy I'm so so sorry to hear of your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.


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Sorry for your loss.


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Breezy, so very sorry for your loss.


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Wendy, so sorry to hear about the loss of your father. My heart goes
out to you and your whole family during this difficult time.
Priscilla


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I'm so sorry to hear about your father. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.


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I would like to add my condolences also. So sorry for your loss.

Bren


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Oh no. I am so sorry for your loss. There are no real words of comfort for you that I can say. I believe he is in a better place. Probably playing cards with both of my parents right now. That's what I want to believe.

These will be some very difficult days ahead. You will make it through them, stay strong for your mom. He will stay with you always, he is the man who taught you so much, every decision you make in your life is in someway a result of something you learned from him. Remember that.

Remember your cyber family is keeping you in their prayers during these times.

(((hugs)))

Karen


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Wendy, I'm so sorry for your loss of your father. I continue to hold you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Amanda


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Wendy - so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with your family.
Gina


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Dearest Breezy,
I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.


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Oh, Wendy, that's just horrible. Deepest condolences to you and your family.


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Wendy, it was heart-breaking to hear the news of your Dad. I am so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. It's such a difficult time. I hope that many fond and special memories of your Dad will lift you up as you trudge through the grief.


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Oh Breezy, This is my first post, (long time lurker), I have been a follower of your posts. Sooo very sad to hear of your loss. Please keep in mind that time will heal your pain. Our prayers are with you.


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Dear Wendy,
What a shock to lose your dad so suddenly...I am very sorry. May you receive peace and comfort through your sorrow. We'll continue to keep your family in our prayers.


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Oh Breezy, I'm so sorry for your loss. What a difficult time for all of you. I pray for strength, comfort and peace for you and your loved ones. Hugs to you, sweetie.


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Dear Breezy, I also want to send you my condolences. That seems such a simple word at times like this. I am sorry for your loss. I believe that your father's spirit lives on through those he loved and those who loved him. May you find comfort and peace and feel support and love from the prayers being raised for your family.


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Breezy, I am so very sorry for your loss. My father passed 12 years ago last month and not a day goes by that I don't think of him and miss him greatly. While he is gone physically, he still lives on in my memories and in my heart, and while I know it's certainly not the same, I do feel like he is still with me in some strange way. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.


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Sitting down tonight to read your messages made me cry over and over. And I was doing sort of OK tonight. ;) I appreciate all of the comforting words and the relating of your personal experiences. I know I'll come back to your posts again at the times when I'm feeling alone in my grief.

When I said goodbye to my Dad that day at his house before the funeral home took his body, the word peace kept repeating in my head. The man never showed pain. He was tougher than pavement, as my uncle said. But in the weeks since his initial diagnosis, his pain grew exponentially. The pills he was taking weren't lessening the pain so he had been switched to a long-acting med the day before, which didn't work either. I spoke to him the night before he died and again heard the extreme pain in his voice. Despite that, he told me, as usual, that he'd be fine. I asked him to page his onco doc about the new meeds not working, and he appeased me by saying he'd do it in the morning.

No matter how much it hurt to see him gone, I knew that the pain finally left him. The chemo road ahead with uncurable cancer would, I know, have been miserable for him. To see his grandchildren for a few more months would have been enough to make him bare it, though. Peace.

My Dad had a CaringBridge site where he journaled about his cancer. No one wanted to write this journal update. I couldn't sleep that night so wrote this post below. I thought I'd share it with you since you've been along on the ride with me. (Bonnie is my Dad's wife, not my mother.)
________________________

PEACE
Written May 13, 2012 7:54pm

Our amazingly strong father has been saying for weeks that we'll beat his pancreatic cancer. In a way, he has. Sadly, he suffered a sudden heart attack yesterday morning at his home while sitting in his favorite chair. As Bonnie described it, he has gone home to be with the Lord.

Bonnie was immediately surrounded by family (Dad's brother Brian and his wife Sue, daughter Wendy and Kevin, son David and Karen with their sons Zander and Isaac, son Daniel and Melissa with their daughter Katie, son Adam and Danielle expecting their first child in July, Bonnie's daughter Cassie with her family, Bonnie's sister and her husband, and Bob Hager), church family and pastor, and friends who brought food, flowers, love, support, and prayers. I'm not sure I could name all the people who visited as there were so many (most of whom I've never met), but we thank all of you for your love.

Dad was anticipating both his grandson Nathan's first T-ball game that afternoon and, what he couldn't mention in his journal post from Friday, the surprise birthday party he had been planning for Bonnie. I'm sure he was cheering Nathan on from heaven, and the sounds of his other grandchildren playing and laughing in his living room must have made him chuckle and shake his head in delight as it always did.

Probably because he didn't want a big fuss made over him, Dad told Bonnie that he didn't want a memorial service. We think it important for his many, many friends and loved ones to have a chance to gather together to share our memories of him so we are planning for some type of event to honor him. He touched so many people with his humor, stories, kindness, and fishing and hunting prowess over his too-short life. Please stay tuned for details.

Thank you deeply for the loving support and prayers you offered to Dad and Bonnie over the past weeks. I know that hearing from all of you and reading your messages on his guestbook helped give him the strength to keep fighting. His pain is now gone, and he is in peace.


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and Peace be with you Wendy.

(((hugs))))


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Breezy, I am so sorry for your loss.


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Breezy - I also just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss... those words always seem so inadequate, but I am sending lots of thoughts and prayers your way.


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Wendy, reading your journal entry made me cry. Your Dad sounds like an inspiring and wonderful man. At home with the Lord, indeed... I hope the good memories of him and all the people who love him will help carry you through the low times.

~Amanda


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Oh, Breezy, what a beautiful journal entry. Your father sounded like an amazing man. I am so very sorry for your loss, and wish you and your family peace and comfort. (((hugs)))


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Your journal entry was so beautiful! You celebrate his life with your loving words. My thoughts are with you and your family. Amy


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That was beautiful, Wendy.

I hope you will be blessed with some peace in the days, weeks, months to come.

More (((HUGS))) to you and your family.


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Wendy what a beautiful post.
There is an old Latin saying, vita mutatur non tollitur, it means that life is changed, not ended. Your father will live on in the wonderful memories of you and your children and all who loved him.


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Thanks for sharing your thoughts during this very emotional time. Losing a parent is so hard as many of us have experienced. Your comments reminded me that when my dad passed away of cancer, he was in a coma in the hospital, and we were all sitting around his bed telling stories and laughing. We wondered - should we be laughing - but my dad was always up for a story (he was usually the one telling it) and for a good laugh. He died a couple of hours later and we like to think that we sent him on his journey with a big smile on his face and a great memory of his family around him.

My thoughts continue to be with you and your family.

Lynn


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Wendy,
I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face after reading your touching journal entry. What a beautiful tribute to your father.

My thoughts are with you and your family and I pray that your memories of him bring you much peace and comfort.


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My husband and I have lost both our parents, a couple of them very young. It's very hard no matter what age. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I loved your "Celebration of Life" in lieu of a service. Be grateful for your close family, and see him in the faces of his grandchildren!

Hugs to you!
Joyce


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I am so sorry to hear of your fathers passing Wendy. My sincere condolences to you and your family. It will be the most simple events that trigger memories that will be most heart wrenching and the most comforting. Our thoughts are with you during this difficult period of loss.

Mary


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Oh Wendy, this is not what I was wanting to find tonight. I haven't been on here for a few weeks, but for some reason, I had you on my heart this evening, so I jumped on here to see if I could find you and send you a private message just to let you know I was thinking about you....and ugh, this is what I find. I am so so sorry Wendy, I know what you are going through and it stinks. Like Bee said, nothing we can say will ease your pain, but know people are lifting you up right now.

Please know you are not alone. You will have tough days ahead, and if you are like me, they are days that pop up out of no where for no reason at all...just because (not a holiday or a birthday, just a normal ol' day). My offer still stands, I am here to listen if you just need to vent your thoughts, anger or emotions :-)

I will continue to pray for you. Your word about Peace was so neat. We know peace comes from the Lord!!


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Just read this Wendy and I am so sorry to hear of your dad's passing. I can't imagine what you're going through but hope you and your family find peace. You will be in my prayers.

Fishies


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Wendy, I hope that your memories may provide you with comfort during this very sad time.


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Dear Wendy,

My heart is saddened tonight to learn of your dad's passing. What a shock to me, but so much more to you. I am thankful that you knew the love of such a caring, wonderful man. That is a tremendous blessing. I too, am facing the possibility of losing my dear father (he's fighting stage IV cancer.) Each day is a gift.

May the Lord draw you and your family closer to each other and himself, and may he comfort your hearts during this time. I'm praying for you and your loved ones!

(((Hugs)))

-Amy


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Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time. It is awful to lose a parent, what a touching entry you wrote about your dad.


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Breezy,
Your journal entry tells me you have a wonderful family and your dad clearly set the example. What a dad--planning a surprise party while he battles pancreatic cancer! I was laughing and tearing up all at once. So wish we could be there with you to support you but glad that you are surrounded by caring friends as well as your family.

Colorfast
(did you find a home for the dogs?)


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My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Piaa


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I am so very sorry for the loss of your father. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Breezy, my mom died from pancreatic cancer in 1997. I can honestly say that I would have chosen heart failure for her over the pancreatic cancer if I could have. As devastating as his loss is, the way he passed could have been a blessing in disguise. Lots of hugs your way! Deedra


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I am so sorry for your loss. When I lost my father a few years ago, I missed being a "daddy's girl" because there was something so special about how proud he was of me and his unconditional love and support. It sounds like you had that special relationship too. But I still feel his love even though he is gone. It sounds strange to hear but as others have posted we still feel that connection. Take comfort that he would want you to go on and be happy with your family. You are passing on to your kids what he gave you. Hang in there.
Stacey


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Breezy, I'm very sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is so hard, and it sounds like you had a special relationship with him and wanted to spend more time with him. We lost my MIL to pancreatic cancer years ago. It's probably not much comfort, but the end stages of this are very painful, and it's hard to watch someone you love suffer.

Wishing you and your family peace and comfort as you move on through your grief and celebrate your father's life.


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Oh, Breezy, I'm so very sorry for your loss. Sending you strong thoughts and prayers for peace and comfort in your beautiful memories of your wonderful father.

Cj


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Breezy, I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine. I'm glad to hear you have peace but even so, I know it doesn't make it any easier. I'll be praying for you and your family.


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Breezy, I apologize for taking days to respond to the post about your fathers death. You would think that someone who has lost both parents, a brother and a son would know exactly what to say to someone whose beloved family member has died but I don't. I can say though that I am sharing in your sorrow. Hopefully knowing that others are feeling some of your pain will lessen it a bit for you.
My son died within 3 months of being diagnosed with cancer and it was only with the support from others that I was able to muster the strength to move forward a little bit each day. I am praying that you will find that support from the rest of your family and from your friends.
With sincerest sympathy,
Badgergal


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Breezy (Wendy), I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your father so suddenly when your family had such hope that he would fight the Pancreatic Cancer. So very sorry... My father passed away a week after my car accident in August 2007 and since I was so hurt I had been unable to visit him all week before he passed away and it hurt me so much. My mother passed away when I was 16 so after my father left, I felt all alone. I hope you have others in your family that you are close to and are not alone. Know we all love you and feel like we know you from your posts and we all care. I am sending my sincere condolences and comforting cyber hugs.


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Wendy- so sorry to hear about the sudden loss of your dad. Your caring bridge entry is so wonderful and so true. Even though he is no longer with you, you will be able to remember him as he was now instead of remembering him going through chemo and all the issues associated with it. He really was spared so much pain. Hugs.


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Oh, Wendy, I am so very sorry! Your CaringBridge tribute was beautiful--thank you for sharing something so personal with us. I will lift you and your family up in prayer as soon as I submit this. Praying for the Lord to comfort you, strengthen you, and sustain you with the peace that passes all understanding.


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Wendy, I was so saddened to hear that your father was again diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer, only to be shocked of his sudden passing.

Your love for him is demonstrated in that though your heart is broken beyond comprehension, you are happy for him that he is at peace and pain free. Though he isn't here physically with you, he will always be with you where ever you go because he will always reside within your heart. You are in part the person you are because of who he is.

None of us are ready to loose a parent. You read from those that have already lost a parent (I lost both of mine - my mom 3 days after my 35 b-day) and one of the things they tell you is how old they were...it's life changing. My DH lost his DM in Feb and I remember when I held him in my arms as he wept. There are no words that can be said or anything anyone can do to ease the loss for those that are suffering.

Life is likely getting back to "normal" which feels in itself abnormal. The normalcy though will come and thoughts of your Dad as you busy yourself with your family will come about. He will be there giving you the strength to not only cope with the loss of his passing, but through life. Now he is that much closer in spirit.


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I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish you and your family peace and healing in the days ahead. There is nothing like the love of your Dad. He will be with you always.


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Breezy, I've been away from GW for a bit and wanted to offer my somewhat late condolences. Very sorry to hear of your father's illness and sudden passing. I lost my dad nearly 10 years ago to cancer - though you will always miss him I hope you may soon find peace and comfort.


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RE: O/T Breezy could use a lift

Breezy- I'm so sorry about your Dad! I hadn't seen the update and I just wanted to give you a 'hug' and say I'm so sorry, for your loss.


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