She will take it hard no matter what.

Bless your heart, you're wanting to start this business to make some money and make it eas(ier) on yourself and your family than if you went back to work full-time at something you dreaded.

If you were in with her, you've defeated your purpose before you started.

Listen to your women's intuition. This is your job, your new business, if she's not someone you'd hire anyway, don't do it because you feel sorry for her. Her 'issues' will leave you in a lurch and reflect poorly on your business.

That said, perhaps you could tell her that you are working best by yourself now, but WHEN she pulls together a resume, you'll be glad to keep your ears open for opportunities. My money is on her never making a resume.

You're between a rock and a hard place, aren't you? Bless your heart!

Friends do not always make for the best business partners, just as they do not always make for the best roommates. You would hate yourself and her if you ever went into business together. Maybe she can sell her stuff on CraigsList, and you can offer to help her brainstorm on a better entrepreneurial match for her in terms of health work-arounds. Editing? Maybe she or you could also organize a small/micro-business support group so she isn't completely dependent on you.

Partnerships are very tricky because the partners inevitably put different amounts of time or energy into the venture, or maybe one is simply more successful in her efforts than the other. Remind her that you want to maintain her friendship, and that a partnership is too much like a marriage, and that you want to remain single in this venture at least for now.

If this friendship is two-sided, she will understand. It will be a lot more fun if you start your thing, she starts hers, and then you compare notes. In the meantime, you can share with her what you learned about insurance, business card printers, advertising costs, etc.

It seems like you could just tell her you don't even have any business yet but you'll let her know if you get so busy you need a partner. Then leave it at that. If she asks further, just let her know you don't have enough business yet for a partner. It seems like it could be relatively simple if you don't make a big deal of it.

I like Gibby's approach. (She can ask, but it doesn't mean you have to ''rescue'' her!) Your neighbor reminds me of a similar situation I had with my neighbor across the street. Five years later and a whole lot of life, considering what I went through with her...well, I would run away screaming! I actually thought about calling her yesterday and stopped myself just in time. Sadly, what goes around doesn't always come back around in a positive way. ''Extremely needy'' is a description that never benfits the helper, only the helpee!

Yes, what Gibby said. That leaves it open for you to hire her (as an independent contractor) for an occasional dog sit when the business takes off.

Snookums:

It's obvious(to me)from your post that your making the right decision not to be business partners.

If you go into business with her and she's unreliable, co dependant and needy - the business will fail and you will end up never being friends again.

However, if you're honest with her, there's a much smaller risk of ruining your friendship.

I speak from my DH's experience. Eighteen years ago, my DH
went into business with his childhood best friend, a seemingly nice guy.

My DH had a wife, a mortgage, car loan and a baby on the way. The friend - 28 years old - lived with his parents, didn't pay rent and just needed money for car payment and pot habit! It was a trainwreck! My DH ended up working 16 hour days and had to hire other help.

My DH will never speak to this "friend" again!

snookums - just remember all the angst you have gone through to figure out how to earn some money without having to work a 9-5 job. Now that YOU have come up with a great plan YOU can be excited about (and have control of), don't even think of partnering with Debbie Downer or we will reach thru the computer and wring your neck! LOL!

Seriously, Gibby really hit the nail on the head. Make no big deal of it...you can't share money you haven't made. I would be very vague with her in the future about how things are going. I wish you all the best in your new venture :)

Partners? No, never, nada! It sounds like even on the best of days that you will be contributing much more than she will. Maybe down the road you can hire or contract out to her for a sitting here or there. So much better to see how she acts and what she does to your company before you even think "partners". IMO, she sounds like too much bad baggage to add to a new company, friend or not. Good luck.

Since your new business isn't really up and running yet, it seems obvious that you don't need a partner. You don't seem to like this person much anyway, and you're certainly not responsible for her employment.

Though I'm sure you're a nice person, it would be better to exclude thoughts and statements like the following from your decision. Without them, you have enough legitimate reasons for telling her no:

But on the other hand, my entire being is screaming its a bad idea. She has MS, has had gastric bypass surgery, and always seems to have something medically going on - either with that or she needs foot surgery or a boob lift or she's always sick or something. Same deal with her son -he's always sick.

Not No but H@## NO!!

Your words:
incredibly needy
I purposely distanced myself
stresses about everything
my entire being is screaming its a bad idea
always seems to have something medically going on
her son -he's always sick.
not very organized or computer literate and that would translate into me doing allll the work.

Definitely not partnership material. For that matter, not employee material either. How to let her down easy? Not sure that can be done - sounds like she'll be upset no matter what. But too bad, that's just the way it goes.

I like gibby's idea a lot! Basically, you feel this business is a one-person job. You don't need a partner now and really would have nothing for her to do. End of story. If she whines or insists, tell her the doorbell rang and you gotta go.

I have to say, I'm pretty selfish, but I could not ever put up with a person with this type of personality. You're already being nice remaining friends with her considering how you feel about her. Doing her any favors is going above and beyond. And this isn't a favor - it's a major imposition and begging for trouble.

Good luck!

This reminds me of how we define "friend". For me, a true friend is not needy and imposing. There have been such people in my life at times, and I find that it's easiest to hold them at arm's length, always cordial, but never encouraging their destructive behaviors. Friendly behavior is not the same thing as having a true friend.

I'm completely with Lowspark on this one. Yes, this person may not stay a 'friend' if you keep her at a distance and resist her attempts to worm her way into your life. But I wouldn't worry about it, if I were in your position. There is no way that you are responsible for her, her life or her job.

Keep her at arm's length.

Thank y'all. I'm pretty sure I know what I'm going to say now. Two things really - one, that since I haven't even yet started I don't even know if there is a enough business to occupy two people. Two, that I value our friendship too much to taint it with a business deal.

She is an incredibly nice person, would go to the end of the world for you if you asked, but very dependent on those around her. And because I have strategically distanced myself as I mentioned, she's not needy towards ME... She reserves that for people who tolerate her more than I do. Her ex-husband couldn't tolerate it though, which is one of the reasons why they are no longer married. To paint you a picture, her son is in preschool full-time yet she still employs a full-time nanny. While he is at school the nanny takes care of mom. Medical care? No... errands, cleaning, cooking, organizing, while she is out getting massages and her nails done and hair done and shopping and dr. appointments.

My dh said that her happiness is not my responsibility and he's right and so are all of you. She is going to eventually have to earn an income (or remarry another rich guy) eventually. Alimony is only for four years.

Anyway, I saw her Hummer down the street this morning at the our mutual friend's home that is her real estate agent (she's in escrow on both the place she sold and the place she bought). She knew I was home; my car was out front. She didn't stop by...I think she knew from my panicked reaction yesterday that the answer will be no. Probably mad at me. Oh well...it'll pass.

"Though I'm sure you're a nice person, it would be better to exclude thoughts and statements like the following from your decision. Without them, you have enough legitimate reasons for telling her no:

"But on the other hand, my entire being is screaming its a bad idea. She has MS, has had gastric bypass surgery, and always seems to have something medically going on - either with that or she needs foot surgery or a boob lift or she's always sick or something. Same deal with her son -he's always sick."

Wooderlander - remember, she's not seeking employment, she is seeking a partnership in a business. Big difference.