Fine, thanks. I'm hoping to figure out something soon that will earn me a bit of money and still enable me to help out in my daughter's classroom and be there for my little ones. I'm getting a little depressed about how little I seem qualified to do. I'm normally pretty confident but I've become the opposite and feel I haven't much to offer, though I know that isn't really true. I just seem to be paralyzed when it comes to following through on anything.

BTW, Pauline, I used your baklava recipe combined with mine and may I just say mmmmmmmmm! Your recipe makes more syrup than mine so I tried that the first time and I split the difference the second time. I liked it with the in between amount. I also use lemon and orange slices rather than peel and boil them in the honey-sugar-water syrup, smashing out the juice and discarding the remnants after it cools. For the nuts, I tried using half toasted almonds and half toasted walnuts, which I quite liked. The cardamom was a great addition, too. I also use clove and nutmeg in mine. I discovered through laziness that I got a flakier, less dense, taller baklava by only brushing every 3rd sheet or so with butter instead of every single sheet. It seemed to allow the syrup better access, too. I will have to try that again next year and see if I get the same results.

I'm glad it worked out, SA. I more or less eyeball the amount of syrup, you've got to find the right spot between too dry & too wet. I don't care for it drenched in syrup (some folks make it wicked sweet & syrupy, hurts my teeth thinking about it!)). I've also made it with toasted pistachios, expensive but go-ood. I've used orange water in the syrup and have also tried the sliced fruit. I think using the fruit slices cuts the sweetness of the syrup, a bit? Anyway, I'm always playing around with the recipe. I love your idea of less butter - got to try it out! Thanks!

I remember some of the moms that volunteered in the elementary school when my girls were young, went on to aide type or substitute teacher positions. It allowed them to work the same schedule as their kids and the bennies were great for the aide positions. Or have you considered a part time position in a cabinet or stone showroom? You are certainly knowledgable and talented with regards to those materials-right? You certainly know your way around cooking & entertaining-right? What did you do pks? (prekids)

Thanks, Pauline. I taught literature pks, LOL. I would really love to work in a cabinet or stone showroom and now that we actually have a couple, I will give that a shot. I also think the appliance store (that does complete kitchen remodels, including cabinets, counters, sinks and faucets--generally high-end) would be interesting. I just don't seem to tire of all of that.

I've considered tutoring as well. I am going to apply at the college and see if that might work out. The trouble has been the hours tend to conflict with my available times. I am a little ashamed to admit it, but if the job pays $7-8/hr it just doesn't seem worth it to me. It doesn't even cover my childcare expenses, though I have the girls in preschool 3 days/week regardless. I could sub but I run into the same problem--I'd have to hire extra childcare for the mornings and afternoons, and they would have to be able to take the girls to preschool and pick them up. I could only work on certain days and I don't especially want to sub, LOL.

It's not that we need the money, but I would like to retain some sense of intellectual stimulation and I miss the interactions I had with my peers and students. I vacillate between being happy to be a SAHM and feeling like I'm not doing something I ought to be pursuing.

How about you? Are you working free-lance as a KD?

I really believe you'd be an asset to the design world, SA and hope you're given the opportunity, if that's what you choose to do. I found that some of the higher end showrooms don't reqire 20/20 knowledge, they utilize hand renderings, which imo give the client a better feel for the space (especially clearances). Other places will train a designer on 20/20, it's software that you really need to use on a continual basis, not a skill you can file away for future use. Go in and chat with the owner(s)/manager(s), I'd be interested in what they have to say - can't hurt?

In looking at your pictures and reading your posts over the years, what comes to mind is your consideration & respect for the whole space, light, texture, interest. So important & a skill that's inherent (is that the right word?), you either got it or don't, lol and you got it, girl!

Yes, I'm freelancing and working a 9-5, as well. I'm very tired, lol My girls are grown, although still living at home and still somewhat needy of my attentions. The freelancing is great as I can pick & choose jobs. Currently working on a space for a chef in Boston. He has a small kitchen, but cooks & entertains regularly. I love that he's taken a team approach to his project and he's a delight to work with (some ultra creative folks can be a bit demanding or nutsy, I'm one of them ;).

Thanks for asking, Pauline. I'm happy to report that my shingle pain is gone, I survived my surgery AND the dinner for 12 AND brunch for 16 over the holidays and I've returned to work. So I'm doing fine. But I have been saddened by the losses experienced by some forum members over the holiday season, especially Nat (acoreana) and Donna. I'm hoping that those of you have lost loved ones are being cared for by your friends and family and will start to heal soon. Hugs//deborah

I'm so glad your shingle pain is gone, DH had the same pleasure years ago, it's not a fun experience. I'm not up to date on things, surgery?... shingle related? So sorry to hear.

How did your new kitchen work for the large gatherings? Smooth operations? I must ask...do you & DH miss the table by your window? I'm still in awe over the transformation!

My DH lost his father during Christmastime. He was young, but the holidays are still tough for him, that's a whole nother ball of wax, though. I also wish Nat & Donna and their families healing wishes.

Hugs back & see you soon!

I'm doing great, but, I must say, 2007 got here way to fast. I turn 60 this year, and I'm not one bit happy about it. It seems so old - at least it was when I was a kid. And now, here I am, nose to nose with it. At least I get to spend it with my dear grandson Chris - the light of my life (as well as his parents!). I am so head over heels in love with this little guy. No one warned me how wonderful it is to be a grandmother. So, I'll march on into "late middle age" with a smile.

Happy New Year to all.

momj47, it's easy to see how you'd be quite enamored with your little fellow, his beautiful face & bright eyes light up the room. He's totally TOO precious.

Now as far as turning 60, it's too bad we can't turn in a letter of resignation and just quit birthdays. And really, in our parent's day 60 was old - now it's most certainly still part of middle age! That's my story & I'm sticking to it - a happy, healthy, & young at heart year to you, too!

Hi all -

My GC is an accommodating soul - and has given me some space at the holidays and with my mother's set back and the need to regroup and work thru numbercrunching for the project, our 4th refi in two years!

I got that walking pneumonia thing - had to leave the Revels performance during intermission. Tried to tough it out til my research told me was best to go ahead and take the antibiotics, epsecially since it could be the strain connected with spreading meningitis to the susceptible. It was amazing how much better I felt almost immediately!

Now it's back to kitchen floor, backsplash, and cabinet hardware decisions. GC's designer told me that Lumber Liquidator worked out just great for another of their customers. I like their natural birch listed.

Yay- am finally sleepy. G'night, all.

Inner Beauty
"When it is only through age that one gathers wisdom and experience, why this endless struggle to seem young?....Remember that beauty works from within, it cannot be put on and off like a garment, and it depends far more on the culture of the intellect, the tastes, sentiment, and affections of the soul than the color of the hair, eyes, or complection....Be kind, noble, generous, well manered, be true to youselves and your friends, and the soft lines of these tender graces and noble virtues will reveal themselves in the face....in a personal atmosphere of goodness and greatness that none can mistake....We cannot be one thing and look another....There are indelible marks in every face showing the real life within."
by Elizabeth Cady Staton
It can be very difficult to let go of our youth and settle into maturity. I was never a good student, I was very popular and always wore the latest fashions. I have a career that required both beauty and youth. I practiced Kung Fu for many years and had a body that even I was proud to show off. Now I am 52 and when I look in the mirror at my body I ask myself, where did that other woman go? I have to mourn for her loss.
I have recently discovered there is a better person that has emerged, that was hidden behind the attractive exterior. The beauty of the soul has started to push through. In China, age is looked upon as wisdom. I try and see myself becoming a old "Chinese" woman, with wrinkles all over my face as a road map to my life.
Turning 60 will be difficult, every decade is hard to embrace. I anticipate my 60's to be my "coming out" to a more spiritual and peaceful life.
Donna

I'm going to be 52 in a couple of weeks. I do like this age in many ways; however, I hate it in many others, *grin*. I don't mind the gray hair (l'Oreal is my friend), the age lines (as long as they aren't ditches I'm ok with them), and all the other superficial marks of age. What I am really having trouble with are the ones that impact my quality of life in a decidedly negative fashion. I am sometimes so tired--I can't explain that, either, because I'm on the go from before sunrise to long past sundown, but I never seem to feel energetic like I used to. I get lots more migraines, I can barely see anymore, and if I just take off running (which I've always loved to do), my knees tend to give out suddenly. I have a lot more trouble with my favorite hobbies (needlecrafts, sewing, reading) because not only are my eyes bad but my dexterity is going bye-bye. I'm starting to do things my parents did that caused the younger me to roll my eyes at their oldness, LOL. For instance, it used to drive me crazy when my dad would study the directions for something in a puzzled way. I would just grab whatever it was and get it to work--seemed so easy. Now my brain seems to struggle more to figure things out.

On the plus side, I now qualify for a senior discount sometimes and AARP seems to love me, judging by the amount of correspondence they send :)

seekingadvice,
I'm so glad you mentioned that you are always tired. I keep telling my sister that something is really wrong with me. I have a lot of time off from work and I rest at home most of the time. I find that I am ALWAYS tired. Today I didn't even get dressed! I don't have any energy. If I go out I'm OK, but when I get home I am exhausted.
I agree, there are a lot of things about getting older that scare me. My mom died of Alzheimer's and I am terrified of getting that too.
I work with a lot of women that are all around 50-60ish. All they do is complain about being old. I am so much more at peace with myself now than when I was young. I tell myself that since I have no choice regarding ageing I might as well embrace it.
Donna

I know that tiredness comes with age, but have you two had your thyroids tested? And not just the basic test, but the two more specific tests. My sister used to be exhaused all the time and found out her thyroid function was low; apparently it's a lot more common than doctors once thought, among women especially.

sjerin,
I have had my thyroid tested. When I get my cholesteral retested in a few months I'm going to ask for another thyroid test. I think part of the problem is menopause. I also think inertia is at work with me. I used to go to martial arts every day and I had a lot of energy. Once I'm out and moving I'm not that tired but sometimes if I don't have a definate plan for the day I end up staying home. Also, I look at my "to do" list and that makes me tired. Most people don't have the time to be tired. People work Mon-Fri., have families and many responsibilities. I have a lot of free time which makes it easier to waste it if I don't feel like being productive.
Donna

I too have had my thyroid tested, 3 times, because I have many of the classic symptoms of low thyroid (headaches, always cold, exhaustion, dry hair, etc). It always comes back in the normal range, albeit on the low end. A different doctor had me do saliva testing for hormones, including adrenal and thyroid function. That test showed a lot of irregularities and a pronounced case of what is now popularly termed adrenal fatigue. I'm supposed to take adrenal supplements, which will supposedly assist my thyroid function as well since it's all interrelated, and the pharmacist compounded a natural progesterone cream for me that includes pregnenolone. I am also supposed to take various supplements and vitamins to assist the process. However, I used up my pills and cream and have not quite gotten around to ordering more. I just HATE taking anything, especially when I'm not convinced that this is anything other than perimenopause. It's also daunting to be told that it will take up to 2 years to improve. 2 years of all of those remedies that fall outside my insurance is quite a lot of money. More than that, it just goes against my grain to pour these things into my body. I want to eat healthy food and get the things my body needs that way.

organic donna, you and I sound a lot alike. BTW, what was your former career? I'm curious about that!

Pauline, I also meant to tell you that I very much appreciate your kind words about my abilities. If I can just finish my resume... Glad to hear your job is going well! You must be incredibly busy, but how rewarding and fun.

seeking, I'm only 46 (only? :)) but with my silly fibro (has relation to adrenal fatigue) I know how you feel re fatigue--but if you got any help from those supplements and cream, it's worth it. With our environmental stresses these days, nothing is "just" perimenopause. We're so toxified and overstressed that we need all the help we can get, is the way I see it. I get especially fatigued when I think of re-entering the job market--appeals to me about as much as re-entering the dating market...

That said, I have an idea for a field to pursue: not just tutoring but SAT/other test prep tutoring. It's more lucrative than general tutoring, I've found; as much as I hate standardized tests, I have to say I made very very nice money for someone in her 20s (upwards of $70/hr "after taxes" back in the 80s) when I tutored in NYC--that was the private money--which I got through connections through doing work for SK and PR for much less. I'm thinking that if I go back to work at all, I may do that. There are test prep books you can study to get ready to take their tests, and don't take a thing until you know you'll ace it. It's really not that hard if you study for it. Then, if you score high enough, you take their training and go for it! And I figure it will be of use to my DD when she gets old enough, because I'll be able to put my skills to work for her helping her get ready.

Would that interest you? You can teach at night when the girls are out of school, and be available during the day.

seekingadvice,
Wow, we are alike. I too had hormone testing and it came back that my estrogen was just a little low. I also am taking natural progesterone cream, but most days I don't take it. I HATE taking any pills. I hate to swallow them! I have to force myself to take my Red Yeast Rice.
I am a flight attendant and have never really liked the job. I have been flying since 1981. In three years I can retire and start another chapter in my life.
I think a lot of my fatigue is boredom. I stopped daily exercise, and that has made a difference. I just started ballet, only once a week. I wish I had someone to go for walks with but everyone is at work. I usually have cleaning to do and when I think about doing it I just distract myself, usually with GW.
I don't believe a busy lifestyle is good for your health. I really don't fit in to the typical "American" lifestyle. In our country if you said, "I worked overtime today and then I went to a PTA meeting, came home and made dinner and took the kids to soccer", no one would think that was strange. Our success in America is measured by our financial status. In Europe vacations are very important. In America everyone is either on their cell phone, computer, or wearing a headset. I just don't buy into that lifestyle. (boy, have I gone off on a tangent)
If I stay home and relax I feel that it is good for me to take that time for myself, sometimes I just relax too much.
Donna

Hi everyone

I can so relate to what you're saying about theb "typical American" lifestyle. I can't keep up with it either, and I'm 42. I'm a stay at home mom of four, my youngest just turned 4 and she's the only one home during the day. Yet I don't feel like I have the energy to keep up with the house during the day, and then with the kids afterschool. Part of it is boredom too, I hate housework and keeping things organized is just easy for me. I would much rather be outside in my garden or inside daydreaming about how I want to change the family room. My husband has his own buisness and a million projects on the side. He thrives on being busy. So I take time for myself during the day.......(probably too much time on the computer :) )but then I feel behind with everything else. I think our society measures success in financial terms, but also by how "busy" a person is. And those of us who are happier with a more relaxed pace have a hard time fitting in. At least I feel like I do. I feel quilty because I'm not on the go all the time.........almost like in my mind a finger is pointing at me telling me I'm lazy. So I strive for "balance".......a good goal but hard to attain.

dragon_fly,
I feel EXACTLY the way you feel. When I wake up in the morning I look at my "to do" list and get tired just thinking about it!! I have a list of phone calls to make, and not fun ones, appointments, etc. After I finish that it's either laundry, groceries, or cleaning. Sometimes I just lay back down and get on the computer and visit my GW friends. I would rather go for a long walk with a friend and have lunch, but instead I am staring at chores. I think that is what makes me tired. I live alone and have a one bedroom condo. I always ask my sister, "how do people that have families manage"? I can't imagine having a full time job and coming home to a "married with children" household. I'm not putting down that lifestyle, I just don't think I could handle all the chores. Working, cooking, cleaning, shopping, chauffering... I think most women just lose themselves in the hustle and bustle of life.
dragon_fly, I can't imagine taking care of four children, I can hardly handle two cats!! I really empathize with you.
I think our culture values the wrong things. Money needs to be put way down the list and joy needs to be put at the top. We are such a materialistic society and our priorities are all screwed up. That is why I like the kitchen forum so much. I feel that we all come together to "help" each other in a non competitive way.
We should be able to sit home and "eat bon bons" as much as we want. We should not have to feel bad if our day is not productive.
Donna

Sorry--would like to make a longer response but I have to go pick up the twins from preschool and then get big sister, help her finish her homework packet, and take her to gymnastics. LOL! Just when I was able to kick back, I went and had 3 more kids in my 40s. I can't decide whether that's keeping me young or hastening me to an early grave :)
More on the American Lifestyle later...

fly, thanks SO much for the tip about SAT/test prep tutoring!!! It sounds ideal. I'll talk to you more about that later, but in the meantime, wanted to say THANKS!!

I'd say it's keeping you young. You'll have plenty of time to "rest" when they grow up.
Donna

Cool, seeking! I used to tutor PSAT, GRE verbal, and English Achievements back in the day. I know they've changed significantly--I have to teach myself some new tricks :) but DD's going to have to learn it too, so I might as well get some mileage out of it :)

all this thyroid talk is interesting. I just turned 53, but over the last 5 years, I've had progressively worse fatigue, joint aches and pains, dry skin, etc. My body temp has been between 97-97.3 for several years. Also, I started getting 'suspicious' mammograms (have always had fibrocystic disease) and have had several surgical biopsies that were benign. Two years ago I had to go to the emergency room for my heart murmur (born with it) as it got suddenly worse and they decided it's mitral valve prolapse with regurgitation. I take atenolol for it and have to take 2,000mg of amoxicillin just to get my teeth cleaned.

My DH encouraged me to take early retirement last July to focus on my health. I had gone part-time the year before, but was still having health problems, so retirement seemed like the thing.

Once retired, I started working in my garden on a daily basis. I was doing HEAVY work -- shoveling 28 yards of garden soil, equal amounts of mulch, digging holes, creating a dry stream bed from rock, building a flagstone patio. I did this for 3 months, mostly in 90+ degree weather. I didn't lose a half a pound! I didn't gain, either -- but, with all that exercise, it didn't seem right to me.

With yet another mammo problem before Christmas (a complex cyst to follow-up in 6 months) I decided to do more research. I started searching the web for combinations of symptoms and hypothyroidism kept coming up. But, something else made a bell go off. Iodine deficiency! I am allergic to seafood and I don't use iodized salt. The body doesn't create iodine. I started researching iodine and kept finding a relationship between the thyroid and fibrocystic disease.

So, I've gone many, many years without a source of iodine!

On January 1st, I started taking a kelp (seaweed) supplement to get iodine. Immediately, my sinusitis went away (along with the dry nose/blood thing). My skin stopped itching (no more prescription hydorcortisone). My tinnitus (ringing in my ears) is almost gone. My cuticles look healthy instead of brittle.

My energy is back! I no longer have to take a nap at 2:00! I haven't had a headache since I started the kelp. I was having headaches several times a week before the kelp.

My temp is still only in the 97 range and I still haven't lost any weight.

Everyone has to be careful with any supplement and not assume it's okay to just take anything. Since I am positive that I don't get iodine, I felt safe to take the kelp.

Thought I would share.

wonbyherwits-- may I ask why you have never used salt with iodine? Your symptoms sound a lot like my daughter's, who has checked out ok with thyroid tests.

Donna and Fly--I know JUST how you feel. I'm also a stay-at-home, but my kids are older. However, my husband works longer hours so I do most of everything that needs doing in this house. Of course the danger there is making sure I'm not doing too much for my kids, but rather weaning them off the mommmy-helper and into the Real World. I do have time to keep up with friends I wouldn't see otherwise, which I feel a little bit of guilt over, but for the most part I'm just grateful. And you'd never know I don't work, as my house always seems to need attention! Yes, society puts a great deal of pressure on us to accomplish much and I do feel guilty that I'm not constantly busy, as so many women I know are. Do I really NEED the daily down-time I take, or am I just used to it? Well, I'm darn lucky, that I know. But we also don't live the high life, due to one paycheck. And that means a remodel that has to be cut down from our hopes! Ok, done rambling.
Erin

sjerin -- It never crossed my mind to use iodized salt until my recent research. I have always cooked with Kosher salt.

I started using Kosher salt in November and didn't think until now, that we are now not getting any iodine. Woops. Thanks very much for the info, won, and good luck with your health problems.