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cupofkindness

What is my moral obligation to a beagle? Should I keep this dog?

cupofkindness
17 years ago

Several weeks ago, a dear friend found a lost beagle. No ID on the collar. After putting up signs, notifying several area vets, checking the dog for a chip, this family finally decided that whoever lost the dog either doesn't want him back or the dog ran so far away that the owners haven't looked in our part of town. However, to get anywhere else requires crossing lots of large, busy streets and the dog was clean when he was found, so her thinking is that this beagle is a neighborhood dog. This is a puppy, about 8 months old.

I am interested in this dog. In fact, this dog is sleeping in a crate in my kitchen. He's been here for three days as my family determines whether or not we should adopt this dog.

He's a very, very sweet dog. If I could pick a demeanor for a dog, I would pick this one: lovable, adorable, cute, cuddly, affectionate, and on the small side. For his size, he has a nice deep bark, but doesn't bark much around the house. He's never bayed, which is a good thing. I have seven kids, so there would always be a pal for this dog. I live in a neighborhood with lots of dog lovers. People are constantly out with their dogs, even at night or in bad weather. The trouble is that deep down, I'm not a pet person. Oh sure, we have a chinchilla, lots of fish, and four parakeets. But these pets are easy to take care of and don't demand a lot of time. On the other hand, a dog is a commitment. My youngest is finally out of diapers and I'm free to come and go, so why do I want a dog? Well, of course, because my children, especially the younger ones, love him.

If we were to have a dog, I would probably want him to be indoors most of the time, because it's hot in the summer and because I'd want him to feel like he belongs, rather than exile him in our backyard. I would want the dog to sleep in a crate, and probably would want to crate him whenever I'm not around (I'm a SAHM). At this point, our backyard fence would not hold a dog securely because there are portions of the fence that do not touch the ground (where the gate swings open in a sloped side yard), so we cannot leave any dog in the yard until we solve that problem. We also don't have pet doors going outside. Finally, at this point I'm not the sort of person who would pay for canine cancer treatment, surgeries, hospitalizations, etc. though of course I would pay for routine medical care like shots and flea medicine.

On the plus side, I have a lot of children who would take good care of a dog once they are home from school. Perhaps we should get a dog run. I don't know. I just know that I feel that I can give the dog a minimum amount of attention (like taking him outside to go potty, take him to the vet, basic feeding, etc. No bathing, I can barely fit in my own shower, my children would have to agree to that), but not a lot more (like, I wouldn't spend any time playing with the dog, but my children would). I don't want to feel guilty about my level of involvement with this dog. I also recognize that someone must take care of this dog's basic needs, which will probably fall to me. I struggle to keep my house in order and I'm worried that a dog might make that task so much the harder. I really don't want my house to smell like a dog either. it already smells like a chinchilla, and the dog seems to want to eat the chinchilla.

What do you all think? Should we keep this adorable dog or let him go to the pet adoption clinic, where I'm sure he would be snapped up quickly because he is a wonderful creature. We haven't named him yet because we don't want to get too attached. I want this dog to have a happy life, and I want my family to be happy too. What should I do?

Thanks!

~Cupofkindness

Comments (30)

  • reno_fan
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Keep him, Cup. The endless joy, loyalty, companionship and love that dog will give you and the kids will make all of the other stuff pale in comparision.

    And just from what you're describing, you sound like a VERY good pet owner. You know going into it the kind of work it'll take, and you're already geared up for that.

    If it makes you feel any better, both of my dogs are crated, sometimes even if I'm home. They LOVE their crates. I don't leave mine outside if we leave, but rather crate them on those occasions too. Sure, they go outside to play and run around, but our mutts are inside dogs, and they're very calm.

    Nothing beats having a sweet, affectionate pup at my heels after a long day. You know how they say that having pets is good for you, and that the physical activity of petting them releases endorphins? I believe it. When I pet the dogs, I physically feel better.

    My DH, who is definitely NOT a dog/pet person, has even said that he's grown to really liking (don't know if I'll ever get him to say "love") the dogs we have. We have a Lab and a rescued Basset Hound.

    I'd take a Beagle in a minute! I love our Basset, and I've grown to really love the Hound group. Our Basset only bays if there's something that's really scaring her outside. (It's almost comical to hear this deep, sonorous sound from such a short, stumpy little animal!)

    What does Mr. Cup say?

    Here's Mr. Reno, with the dogs who *adore* him, despite the fact that they're *my* dogs!

  • eandhl
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I have no doubt yours would be a wonderful family for the dog. It sounds like you are willing to fix the fencing issue, that is good. If he is not yet neutered are you willing to have that done? A male will go to great lengths to get free if there is a female in heat within a few miles. Does (I'll call him Nick as he came around Christmas) like all of your children? If you took a family vote would it be 9 cups in favor?

  • proudmamato4
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    You sound like a better candidate for owning a dog than I, Cup. We have a rescued beagle/terrier mix, got him 1 week, yep, 1 week before my first child was born. What a crazy mistake. After the first week, he was relegated to sleeping on the floor on a dog bed. We got rid of my cockatiels when my 2nd child was a few months old, b/c the dog was terrorizing them and the combined noise of a 3-yr old, and infant, 3 cockatiels and a very loud dog was driving me crazy. I'd sooner have gotten rid of the dog, but the cockatiels just seemed dirty to me, since they didn't have to stay in their cage and I worried about the kids being exposed to bird poop and dander.

    Fast-forward. Now I have the 4 kids, 7 and under. Boomer is so friggin loud whenever someone knocks, which is a good thing when you're worried about intruders but a bad thing when FedEx comes to your house every day for work purposes and lots of kids are coming and going. He doesn't get much attention from DH and me, but especially me. I'm more of a cat person. The kids love him. We do not have a fenced in yard, but Boomer never leaves our yard unless one of us does. We lock him downstairs when we leave the house by putting a baby gate on top of the stairs. The crating thing didn't work b/c he got territorial about it and would be aggressive with us when we got near him when he was in it.

    He is cared for health-wise and we paid for surgery to correct some eye problems. I, too, thought I wouldn't pay for surgery for a pet, but when you're faced with it, you would feel like a heel if you didn't. DH occasionally bathes him, but I prefer to take him to the groomers for the full deal - nail trimming, expressing (oh, yes, Beagles are particularly prone to needing that) and bathing/trimming fur. We don't walk him on a leash, he just goes outside when he wants, letting us know by "knocking" on the door. He sheds like crazy and I am constantly cleaning up fur tumbleweeds throughout my house.

    Bottom line is, if you are ambivilant, don't keep him. There are plenting of people who are true dog lovers that will love this dog for everything it's worth. I feel Boomer has been short-changed by living with us, and it makes me feel guilty. If you could just see how much he adores my sister when she comes over, vs. the way he reacts to us, you would agree. My sister just sent me some pics from her vacation in Argentina where she is kissing stray dogs! Now, that is a dog lover, and the kind of person I wished had Boomer as a pet.

    Anyway, good luck. They are always so cute when they are young, and it's hard to say no to their beautiful faces. But you have to follow your heart. You will be the one, ultimately, that has to take care of and provide love to this pet, and if you can't, you may end up feeling like I do.

    Nancy

  • cupofkindness
    Original Author
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Beagles hunt rabbits! Egads, chinchillas look like rabbits with short ears. Although I'm not crazy about our chinchilla, Kisses, I must admit that this little rodent is the cutest animal to walk the face of the Earth.

    And I am ambivalent about the dog, especially now that I know that Kisses will always be in danger if her cage is ever unlocked.

    If a dog breaks a leg, we would take care of that immediately. Scratches his eye? A tumor? I honestly don't know. And my uncertainty, plus the fact that we have a lot of kids including one going to college next fall so our tuition bills are enormous, cause me to wonder if I could give enough care for the dog.

    On the other hand, I do like to be like by dogs and I hold dogs like I would hold a child -- in other words, I don't keep them at arms length and say "Nice Doggy."

    Nancy the image of your DS kissing stray dogs in Argentina is hilarious. She is a true dog lover, as is my friend who found this cute beagle. The question is, will we be true dog lovers? My youngest children are outside playing with the dog. They thoroughly enjoy this precious creature.....

    Well, I have to figure out where I'm picking my chidren up this afternoon, so I'll say good bye for now. Reno, eandhl (good advice about spaying), Nancy, and Sue, thanks again.

    Here is a link that might be useful: {{gwi:1542530}}

  • rosecmd
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Well Cup, although you are obviously a kind person here's my take. You either take on a pet 100% or not at all. I read recently that the average dog costs about $10,000 over the course of the pet's lifetime. I believe that, owning an 11 year old cocker spaniel and a formerly stray cat. It is not unusual to pay several hundred dollars for a vet visit for our dog because we know something is not right with her - she may have a urinary tract infection, for example. They need to do an exam, and sometimes a blood test, or urinalysis, and the antibiotics can be expensive, like $80. It's like being sick and not having any health insurance - you pay full frieght for an animals vet care. If your dog developed a peculiar growth that started to weep, or got a gash on it's leg somehow that required stitches and antibiotics, it all adds up. Is she spayed already? If not, there goes several hundred dollars. Heartworm pills and flea meds, it's all somewhat costly. You can not deny a pet the appropriate medical care, even for something that seems trivial. Our dog ate a ribbon when she was young and had to have surgery to remove it ($500), on and on it goes, even for a healthy pet, the need for surgeries and hospitalizations can be routine and not something catastrophic, like if your dog was hopelessly injured by a car, etc. So, I say only keep her if you or your family are willing to do whatever it is that the pet requires in the way of normal, loving, appropriate care and attention. All dogs require occaisional bathing, brushing, ear cleaning, nail trimming, etc. Either she is a full-fledged member of your household, or let her be adopted by someone else.

  • pecanpie
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Your kids love him, he loves your kids. You'd pick exactly his demeanor for a good fit for your family and owning a pet enriches our lives immeasurably- now what was your question?

  • proudmamato4
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

  • dekeoboe
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I think you are either a pet person or you are not. You are not, or at least not at this point in your life.

    The above posters have made a lot of good points. I just have one more question for you - how many of your children will be home to play with and care for the dog in 12-15 years? A dog is a long-term committment.

  • MariposaTraicionera
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I was never a dog person. We got our Pomeranian when the kids were very little and he grew up with them. He is now 10. I did say that I would pay for vet visits and shots but wasn't going to go through anything major like surgery/cancer etc.

    Roll forward last Fall. Maxxie was diagnosed with mouth cancer and we were told he had to be put down before Thanksgiving. The last time I cried this much was when a beloved family member passed away in 2005. I couldn't eat or sleep and didn't give a darn about our kitchen remodel. Maxxie was #1. I had always treated him well and he was quite healthy only requiring one surgery a few years ago, and of course a recent one that cost us over $1,500. When the vet said there was no hope I refused to believe her. I went for a second opinion. Maxxie is on steroids and he eats like a horse. He also drinks lots of water so that means he has to go outside 10 times more than before. He was attacked in 2005 by two hunting dogs and almost died so we have been very cautious about letting him roam out there alone. That was another period where I was so upset I felt like he was one of the children.

    He is so energetic and full of mischief that we can't believe he has cancer. It will be a sad day indeed when Maxxie leaves us, but we are thankful for the extra time to love and spoil him.

    I can't tell you what to do Cup, but take it from a person who never really wanted a dog...you will learn to love and appreciate his company more than you can imagine.

    Who would have thought that I would go to such lengths to keep our dog alive? Who would have thought that my heart would have been so sad when I thought we had to put him down? I never knew that I could be so attached to a dog, and over the years I learned to appreciate his company more than I thought possible. He was there beside my bed when I had to rest my knees prior to surgery and afterwards. Now I am at his side in his time of need. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

    Mari

  • sjerin
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    One more point, I think you'd better make a decision quickly, for the sake of your kids and the dog. They will both become attached faster than you realize.

  • mitchdesj
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    If you keep the dog, keep it for you, because you want it; you will be the principal caregiver, the constant presence, the one who will worry about it and make sure all is well with him. The kids will play with him but then off they will go to soccer, friends, etc...

    I sympathize with your dilemma, but you are not that attached yet so you have options...
    I personally have a 12 year old bichon; I love her dearly but am not sure if I'll get another one when she passes. I am gone all day now, I used to be a sahm so I feel guilty that she is alone but it can't be helped.

  • shequit
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Preface - I am very much an animal lover, I have one now and he is my baby. Dogs, especially, are a very big commitment. I understand you have several children. However, the bloom is off the rose in no time, trust me, and then you are the primary care-taker. Do not keep this doggie unless you are committed, for your sake and the dog's. I am a senior and when my friends say they will get yet another pet, I give my formula: write down your age, add to that the life expectancy of the dog = do you want to be that age and be taking care of an old, most likely ill animal? It may sound harsh but this is a fact of life. You must truly love this animal to stick with it. There is nothing wrong with offering this dog to someone for adoption. Think about it - commit or offer to someone who will. I truly hope my opinion helps you.

  • pecanpie
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Well, we do a lot of things for kids that take up time and money. A dog will be enjoyed by all your children.

    Dogs are great therapy for adolescents- especially teenage boys. You know the story. Life is miserable. Come in the door, throw your 40lb backpack on the table, stomp upstairs, slam the door and hug your dog. Your dog is always glad to see you. You can talk to your dog when you can't talk to anyone else. Your dog will understand. And things look better and your dog will follow you down to the kitchen for a sandwich and a milk-bone.

    DS was the only boy, sandwiched between two raging estrogen machines. His dog was the calm in the storm, a refuge of sorts. But then again, we are very much dog-people.

    I don't know why I'm encouraging you to keep this lovely animal, cup--I'd take him in a New York minute!

    Check your email for a pic of DivaD1 and our newest pup!

  • mahatmacat1
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    One one hand, I agree with the person who said (or I'm interpreting her as saying :)) that finding the right family for this little guy will be even more of a kindness to him as it would be to keep him yourself, if you're ambivalent about it.

    On the other hand, I've had a rule that the big decisions you make with your heart, and the small ones you make with your head. What does your *heart* tell you to do? Follow that, and then your head can help you with the details :)

  • OllieJane
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I rarely post, and always read when have the time, but I had to respond to your post, because I JUST got rid of a dog a couple of weeks before Christmas.

    You see, I love the IDEA of having a dog, but the reality was not for me. I even did a ton of research to find the right dog and still could not bring myself to love the dog like he should have been loved. I took care of him, but felt guilty the whole time we had him, a week.

    I got one that was already house trained, so I wouldn't have to deal with that, and then I couldn't stand to think of the poop in my yard and then having to pick it up was the WORST! I truly believe that there are dog people, and I'm not one of them. I'm truly sad to say that, because like I said before, the IDEA of having a dog seems so wonderful. And what gets me is SO many people out there have dogs, and they obviously don't feel like I do.

    Now, when I go to friends' homes that have pets, I pet them and like them, but that is as far as it gets. I literally had a knot in my stomach the whole time our dog was here. I feel really terrible about feeling this way, but after trying, I have to accept this is the way I am.

    The thought of having to take care of a sick dog really bothered me also. I know just how you feel, maybe I'm worse than you-LOL! I just had to let you know that I get the way you feel and I really wanted to post about "what's wrong with me?" about not wanting a dog in my home. I know this is suppose to be about you, sorry, but I am just so excited someone feels the way I do. Thought I was all alone-especially on this site where it looks like the vast majority are dog-owners-lovers. I just wish I was one of you guys, but....

    Anyway, I was so elated when the dog was gone (to a wonderful family, I might add) that I was walking on air for a week after. So glad to not feel the guilt was the best of it.

    You probably would get attached at some point, but like you, I kept thinking he (the dog) could have an owner that could really love him the way he should.

    I called the new owner that bought him to see how he was doing and I know I made the right descision. They are definately dog-people and he will be sleeping with their 10 year old boy. The dog will love that!

  • goldgirl
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    From what I read in your post, I do not think you should keep the dog. You say you could give the dog "minimum" attention, and in my mind, that's not enough. This is not criticism - I admire your honestly and level-headedness about whether or not you really want the responsibility of the pet.

    No adult should ever count on kids, no matter how well intentioned, to care for a dog. Some do, but for many, the commitment fades after the novelty wears off. Kids grow up and for some, a pet takes a back seat to school activities, etc. Not always the case, but it often happens. I would never take on a dog assuming the kids will provide much of the care.

    Every breed has rescues, usually in every state. I don't know where you live, but Google "beagle rescue" in your state, and they will be able to help you if you can't locate the owner. A puppy is easily adoptable.

  • paigect
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Cup, if you are willing to take care of the necessities such as feeding and walking when your kids are not home, there really isn't much more to having a dog. I believe a dog living with 7 kids (one recently out of diapers, correct?) will have plenty of attention and activity without relying on you for entertainment. By the time your youngest is a teen the dog won't want so much excitement any more anyway - - just a nice long nap on the sofa or rug or whatever.

    And I am a firm believer that kids should have a large part in caring for their pets, even after the honeymoon is over. Our dog sleeps with DS at night. He feeds her and lets her out every morning. He walks her after school. He feeds her dinner and does the evening let-out as well (we have a fenced yard). I fill in when he is not home, but otherwise it is mostly his responsibility. As long as you make that clear from the beginning and consistently enforce it, that shouldn't be a problem.

    Part of the reason I love our dog so much (and I do, she's my baby) is because of her relationship with DS. She brings him so much happiness that it is easy to love her.

  • theresafic
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I have to chime in... Keep the dog!!

    I grew up in a family with with 8 children and we had a dog. Not the one we wanted (We all wanted a black lab and my Dad came home one day with a 5 yr old Pekingese.) The dog after a few years became "mine". I was the one to feed him and take him for runs but really a dog belongs to the whole family. I agree with the poster who said your children will provide enough company and exercise for the dog.
    All of my siblings have dogs. All have kids. It works.

  • snookums
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I'm on the fence, but I'm leaning towards telling you to keep the dog. If you enjoy the dog's company, and he enjoys yours, the result can only be good, and that will grow over the years.

    Beagles don't need to be walked every day. Save walks for good weather only and only for fun and exercise. Teach your kids how to walk him (I personally tether the leash to their belt buckles so there is no worry about them letting go by accident). Designate a spot in your yard and train him to go potty only there (it can be done - I've trained my incredibly dumb dog to potty only in the side yard). Might be a good idea to mark it off with rocks or edging so he will know the area you want. Take him out on a leash to that spot using the cue "go potty" until he potties and lots of praise ("Good potty!") when he's done. Should only take a couple of days and then a few reminders now and then to potty only in one spot in your yard. Sounds like until your fence is fixed, you have to take him out supervised anyway.

    You have seven kids. You won't have to pick up poop ever. :D

    You can also teach them how to shampoo him, or take him to a groomer for a bath every once in a while. Clean indoor dogs don't smell.

    I think you will be pleasantly surprised how much more enjoyable a dog's company is versus a bird or a chinchilla. They have the pretty factor, but a dog has the love factor.

  • msafirstein
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I find my dogs much easier to care for then anything else in my life including myself. Dogs learn to go outside at the same time every day. They can be crated while you are away at work all day and they are just fine. They also learn to eat at the same time and you can feed them the same dog food every day. They love to go for a walk but are just as content to lie at your feet. Dogs really only need 3 things to be happy, well cared for and loyal, YOU, food and water and in that order.

  • seekingadvice
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    My advice is to find another home for the dog. You have enough caregiving going on without adding a dog to the mix, which is time-consuming and expensive. You raise children to grow up into adult individuals who will go off on their own; dogs are like toddlers that never grow up and sort of regress at the end. I am giving you my perspective as one who also is not a dog person but was talked into getting one by my family. My dh firmly believes that kids need a dog (I don't believe this at all). I have always liked dogs but have never wanted to own one and was happy with a cat. I'm not going to tell you all the nice things about having a dog, as I'm sure you know those, but I want to give you an honest assessment from someone with a similar mindset as to the negatives of dog ownership.

    We got our puppy a year ago and she is darling. She is sweet and good-natured. She is also, IMO, a pain in the neck in a lot of ways. There is so much training, feeding, and attention required in having a dog. They can be messy and dirty and you have to add that to your cleaning regimen or accept dog hair and dirt, water slops, drool, etc as a given, not to mention some less pleasant deposits like barf and pee (or poo, though I've not had that since the dog hit about 3 months) from time to time. They need so much attention, which some people find a bonus but to me is an aggravation. I am a person who REALLY needs a lot of personal space and dogs don't really appreciate that. I hate being followed around all day. I hate dog licks and wanting in and wanting out and wanting in and wanting out...you can't go anywhere for a weekend without taking the dog to a kennel or having someone babysit full-time. It seems I get a card from the vet on a regular basis reminding me it's time to get this shot or worm pill or what-have-you. I've already spent almost $2000 on her in the year I've had her just in vet bills (two escapes from the yard led to being hit by a car and being mauled by pit bulls). I have to clip nails and check teeth and provide chewies and pick up the shreds of whatever chewed thing is left. I have to pick up poop out of the backyard and sometimes clean off my kids' shoes when I miss some (YUK!!!!!!).

    In short, the dog has added as much work as having another small child without the benefit of having that child grow out of it. If I had it to do again and had any say in the matter, I'd not get a dog, even though I do really like her. I realize that I'm the kind of person who best appreciates dogs when they're owned by others. Oh, and now that we've had the dog a year, the kids don't even like her around most of the time because she sits on their cards or licks their dolls or tries in some way to participate in their games, something they don't appreciate. When the kids have playdates, I have to put the dog wherever the kids aren't because she tries too enthusiastically to play with them and little kids don't like that.

    BTW, my dh wants to get another dog. He claims that she won't need as much attention if she has a friend. Huh. The thought of getting another one leaves me cold, to say the least.

    If you were a dog lover, I'd give different advice, but you will probably resent the extra work a dog entails and you will not see the benefits of it the way someone else might. I like my dog (Bassett/Beagle mix) but honestly? I would not be broken up if she found a new home. I've had 5 kids, the oldest now almost 27 and the youngest 3, and loved it all. I don't love dog care.

  • cupofkindness
    Original Author
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Each and every thoughtful reply on this thread, even the picture of Nancy's sister in Argentina, has been very helpful in making our decision. Thank you for taking the time to post your thoughts on the responsibilities and benefits of dog ownership. After thinking this over and having daily family meetings, we've decided not to keep this precious little dog. A tough decision to make, but a good one in the end.

    I think the most compelling reason is money. We will not be in a position to pay out large sums of money for vet bills because we have such a large family and we spend a small fortune on tuition. And the financial end is a big unknown. It's a hard line to draw, like would we pay to have a broken bone set, versus the surgery required to save a dog's life after an accident? We just don't know. But we can say, rather objectively, that a dog is not worth $10,00 to our family. Or even $5,000. And that's probably the cost of regular vet care and food for ten years, nothing extra (in other words the best case dog cost scenario). Another family might be in a better position to take care of this dog in any way he needs as the years go by.

    And here's something else that's really important: I don't want to feel guilty that we might not provide the love and attention that this puppy deserves. He needs a lot of attention. And he deserves it, because he's such a sweet dog. But my children need my attention too. And my husband. Where do you draw the line and just put the dog in the yard? Even among some of my friends (but not the one who found this beagle), I feel that some neglect their animals by leaving them outside all day and then crating the dog when it's indoors. Seven children are a lot of company, but when school becomes demanding, there is barely enough time to brush your hair, let alone walk a dog. I would rather put my energy into spending time with my children than into this dog. Yet, I even feel terribly guilty for admitting that!

    My friend who found the beagle told me that she thought her sister would also take the dog, so I have no doubt that he will be well loved by that family. Anyway, one of my other children needs the computer, so I need to post this to the thread. It was a difficult decision to make, I somehow feel that I've failed my children for not providing an ideal childhood that should include a cute little dog, but you know what? We're at our limits and pushing those any farther would not be a good thing for us. Again, thanks for your incredible replies. They helped me and Mr. Cupofkindness (who read the thread as well) make a decision that we can live with. Thank you for your gracious understanding of our situation. Have a wonderful day!

  • proudmamato4
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Cup, I think you are making the right decision, but you will always probably doubt yourself. I wish I'd had the forethought to ask people's advice before keeping our dog, but gosh, he was such a darn cute puppy! Anyway, from what I've read from you over the years, your children will never suffer with you as parent, with or without a dog. Best of luck in the aftermath of your decision! I know that the dog will be fine, and so will all of you :-)

  • jerzeegirl
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    cup, I am late to the thread but I think you have made the right decision. Here is a link for Beagle Rescue: there may be one in your area. I recently found a lovely Boston Terrier running loose on a busy street. I called BT rescue and he was placed within a week. The rescue people are just amazing. So if your current prospect for the dog, you might consider speaking with the rescue group in your area.

    Here is a link that might be useful: Beagle Rescue

  • mahatmacat1
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I hear you completely, cup. I've been having puppy lust in the worst way but we have three cats already and the last one cost us well over $5k in the last two years of his life alone...I have to be prepared for long-term medical costs for them, and we also feed them raw human-grade food...I just don't have enough extra money right now to make adopting another cat, much less a completely new kind of animal, with the associated learning curve, possible.

    Don't feel bad--you will have done him a great kindness and the private rescue group idea is a good one. Very caring folks contact breed rescues for their adoptions, so you know he'd be finding a really loving family specifically motivated to bring a beagle into their lives. Good on ya :)

  • cupofkindness
    Original Author
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Thank you for your kind thoughts, ladies. It was very sad to let this dog go, especially on my 11 year old and nine year old. It's hard to let any adorable, cuddly creature go, I will always regret not being somehow a better mom who could handle more.

    I feel that our lives are so full of financial and time demands. We are in a sort of equilibrium at this point, a precarious one, but we've found a balance. We have to prioritize how we spend our money. What we would spend on the dog is money we wouldn't spend on the children. For example, our pediatrician recommended that we take our son to a personal trainer because he is would benefit from so one-on-one work. Well, do we spend money on obedience training for the dog or for our son? We can't do both. In fact, I'm not sure we can do even one of these things. These are the kinds of trade-offs we have to make.

    Also, I'm so afraid that a pet like a dog would push us over the edge time-wise as well. Here's what I mean: my oldest daughter walked the puppy on Saturday, and since this untrained dog ran almost the entire time, and since it was so cold out, my daughter (who only gets asthma attacks under these conditions) came back from the walk wheezing. So, we crate the happy dog, pull out the nebulizer and all of the medicine, saline, etc and give her a breathing treatment. A half hour or so later, she's fine, but the nebulizer is still out (just to make certain we have no further asthma attacks). This is her first asthma attack in five or six years.

    We had little incidents like this one all weekend long with the new dog around. Like Flyleft said, it's a learning curve, and we're at the very beginning, but this is how it would be for a while. Seekingadvice, you and I cross posted, but I think that I'm more where you are today than where many of the other posters are vis a vis pets. I woke up this morning and appreciated the fact that at 5:45 am I was drinking a cup of coffee instead of taking the dog outside in the cold night air. And Nancy, I think you're right, I'll always doubt myself. Dog angst for the rest of my life. Arghh!

  • sjerin
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Cup-- You absolutely did the right thing and you should not feel one speck of guilt. I adore dogs, and so do my daughters. My dh likes them well enough but being from India, just can't see having one living indoors. Since we cannot agree on this, we don't have a dog and I think my kids are still ok. Yeah, I had hoped they could grow up with a puppy too, but it didn't work out. And the financial aspect is no small potatoes, as you've heard. We have only three kids but they are also in Catholic school/college and the costs are substantial. My dh wouldn't bat an eye if it came to a decision over surgery/putting the dog down, but would have felt resentful if the kids and I "won" the argument, which we would have, I'm sure! For now, we get our doggy fix by visiting our friends' dog down the street often, and walking him ocassionally. My daughters are convinced that dh and I will finally adopt a dog when they are all gone, and that dh will have no problem having the dog in the house! We shall see.

  • cupofkindness
    Original Author
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I received this in an email today, unfortunately I cannot load the adorable pictures that were scattered through these quotes.

    Dog Philosophy

    The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
    -Anonymous

    Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
    -Ann Landers

    If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
    -Will Rogers

    There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
    -Ben Williams

    A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
    -Josh Billings

    The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
    -Andy Rooney

    We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare.
    And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made.
    -M. Acklam

    Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people,
    who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate.
    -Sigmund Freud

    I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
    -Rita Rudner

    A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance,
    and to turn around three times before lying down.
    -Robert Benchley


    Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
    -Franklin P. Jones

    If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known
    will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
    -James Thurber

    If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise
    -Unknown

    My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can.
    That's almost $21.00 in dog money.
    -Joe Weinstein

    Ever consider what our dogs must think of us?
    I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul,
    chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!
    -Anne Tyler

    Women and cats will do as they please,
    and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
    -Robert A. Heinlein


    If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you;
    that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
    -Mark Twain

    You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says,
    'Wow, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'
    - Dave Barry

    Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
    -Roger Caras

    If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket
    and then give him only two of them.
    -Phil Pastoret

    My goal in life is to be as good of a person as what my dog already thinks I am.

  • mitchdesj
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I admire the way you handled the dog episode; you are very smart and down to earth and did the right thing, imo...

    It's not to say that later down the road, another dog might find you and it might be the right time then.