DH just had 12 (benign) polyps removed during a colonoscopy. Better get him on the black tea! I just wanted to report that I have lost 6.4 lbs. in the past 6-8 weeks, which for me is such a rare accomplishment that if I didn't just have a physical a couple of weeks ago, I'd assume that I was gravely ill. I made a pact with myself (I think I mentioned this here) that I would lose 10 lbs. before I turn 50. Well tomorrow is my 49th birthday, so I'm well on my way, assuming I can sustain this loss and continue. I have gained 10 lbs. in 10 years and I'm determined to change that trend. All I've done, and it's been painless really, is stop eating anything that has more than 3 g of sugar -- with a few exceptions, like an occasional yogurt. Oh, and I still have a few beers each weekend but that's really it. Also, I don't eat anything after dinner, except for maybe a couple times a week I'll crave something and I'll have a small square of good dark chocolate (which actually tastes very sweet to me now!). So yesterday I went to the jeans store, wanting to buy more of the same "uniform" jeans I have been wearing for years. Not necessarily in a smaller size, though my jeans are loose, just a fresh new pair. The salesperson convinced me that I was wearing my jeans too big and that I should try the smaller size. I said, oh, I don't think so, I haven't worn a 10 in jeans forever. In a nice way, she forced the size 10 on me, and in a different style than what I usually wear -- I wear the "Easy Rider" Lucky jeans because they're cut fuller in the hips. Well, the size 10 fit perfectly. Actually, at first I said I thought they were a bit snug and she said she actually thought they seemed a bit BIG (and then made me try the size 8, which was far too small). Anyway, I ended up trying on a bunch of different sizes but NONE in the size 12 that I've been wearing for probably 5+ years. When I put my old "loose" jeans on I could then see how unflattering they were. I was so full of confidence after buying my new jeans, I tried on about 100 pairs of pants in other stores in the mall, but didn't have one bit of luck. I must be the only woman in America with saddlebags. Anyway -- that was a great way to keep me motivated, and also educational! I never "use" salespeople in stores because I think I know everything. Maybe I should get help more often!

I think the harder part of the issue is the cultural one...more is better, faster is better, cheaper is better. It's gotten to the point that even bed pillows are so fat that they won't fit our pillowcases. And ... no evidence ... but I believe things like video games have also led to a mentality of instant gratification...I want what I want, as much as I want, and I want it now! Also that there is no personal role to be taken, no effort to be undertaken and no responsibility taken for the outcome, discipline is out the window. Merely showing up is enough to reap full rewards. (On education, my GF is a prof of optometry...so we're talking professional level students...and one gal didn't understand why she was flunking...she said even though she didn't read the book, she carried it with her every day!) Supporting all of this, of course, is marketing that not only shouts at us from every screen (can you even avoid it any more? Even our gas stations now have screens that blare at us while we pump gas.) but scientifically designs foods and packaging and pricing in such a way that our innate psychology and impulse overtakes and we buy more. Work by Brian Wansink is amazing stuff that shows, even when people are educated about it...are shown the wizard behind the curtain...it doesn't change their behavior. Work done on epigenetics suggests our weight issues are only going to get worse as being born of an obese mother apparently makes your own obesity more likely so it becomes self-perpetuating. Then there is the visual effect. Our eye adjusts over time to what looks normal. I was watching a Doris Day movie last night and man she looked thin. Of course, that's what normal looked like back then. We are now growing so accustomed to seeing overweight people that normal weight folks start to look too thin. Then add in technology that keeps us sedentary. Remote everything. Everything at our finger tips. I don't know how you combat all of that without dropping out.

I've spent a few days in court lately, unfortunately (my husband is a victim & witness) in a case that keeps getting postponed. I'm sorry, but if the judge is anything at all like the one we've been observing, I wouldn't be so sure. We saw a guy get over a $1000 in assorted fines plus community service for shoplifting $21 worth of merchandise. If the 'victim' wants to press charges, the judge may have no discretion but to follow the law and impose the required penalties. You say you've got a drs appt. for her--that's good, and I'd make sure that she gets to the dr. and you have a diagnosis in hand (if there is one along the lines of dementia) before going to court, but I'd strongly recommend that you see your lawyer for a couple of things. First and foremost, you HAVE to have her properly represented in this case, and secondly, if she is becoming incapable of handling her own affairs, there are legal steps you need to take--if she'll sign a financial and medical POA, that will help. If she's unwilling, you may have to go for guardianship. Either way, you're describing a parent who needs some supervision--for her own health and safety. As to what will happen with the dr? Since she hasn't been in some time, apparently, she's going to need a complete physical. In the office, he'll probably check her blood pressure, pulse, etc. He probably will send her for bloodwork and possibly a urinalysis--to check for things like diabetes, UTI infection (which can in the elderly, ape dementia and create a lot of confusion), high cholesterol, etc. He's probably going to ask her questions that are designed to indicate her mental acuity--unfortunately, there's no actual test (bloodwork, X-Ray, etc) for dementia. He may prescribe one of the medications that are helpful in slowing (but can't cure) dementia. You're going to want to make sure that you have yourselves listed as people the dr. can legally talk to (HYPPA), and you're going to want to make sure that one of you always accompanies her so that you understand and follow the drs instructions. As I've been through a lot of this with my mom, aunt and MIL (various health/elder issues)--I'd suggest that it's probably time to consider having at the very least, some help in several days a week. Home health aids--good ones, at least--are worth their weight in gold. They help with personal needs like bathing, will do laundry, cleaning, cooking, shopping--and most importantly, visit. They're an extra pair of eyes to help catch minor problems before they become major issues. Depending upon your mom's eventual diagnosis, health aids may be covered by her insurance/medicare. But even if they aren't, they're worth the price. It may be, that the time is coming when you may have to make the decision that mom needs assisted living or nursing home care. Know that's not what any of us want to face, but it's better to start looking around before you need one, than to wait until the need is critical. Being prepared ahead of time, is going to take a lot of stress off your shoulders when that time comes. I know you're going through a lot right now--but you're going to learn a lot about yourself--you're going to find strengths you didn't know you had. You're going to redefine your relationship with your mom--and that's not necessarily a bad thing. Just hang in there, and get through a day at a time, make sure the first things you handle are mom's immediate health issues and her legal woes. Good luck with all that.

Cynic, I understand where you are coming from but I don't think many know why some doctors prescribe the drugs they do (The problems don't just stem from human error -they make choices). Some may be getting kickbacks (in one way or the other) and that is wrong. Many are also more concerned with fitting in more patients then with spending quality time with patients. There are good Dr.'s (like the one who told me NOT to take the drug when I was pregnant) and there are not so good dr.s (like the one who told me to take it --which I might add it was just on the market and I was pregnant and not wanting to take it). It's not human error; It's incompetence and if I had taken that drug and it hurt my baby, I would have and should have sued. I have both doctors and lawyers in my family, and I know people dislike both groups. But when it comes to drug related problems, I would totally finger point at the doctors before I would point at the lawyers. Granted sometimes problems can just be from normal human error, but those doctors still need to pay when human error comes into play. Even if it was only human error when a Dr. "accidentally" took off the wrong foot, they still need to pay. And if they cause someone to have a heart attack, or an infant to have a serious disabilty, they should have to pay too if a mistake was made. If your electrician wires your house wrong due to humna error, and there's a fire, he still needs to be accountable. The lawyers trying to get the money for you when a professional messes up are not the bad guys. I think if you had aserious medical problem occur because of medical incompetence, you would feel differently. Below is a site that has some conspiracy theories...but it has articles from more legitimate sources listed lower down in body that kind of explain what may be going on with some doctors. I'm not sure that people know the reason some medicines are given is sometimes simply because the Dr. was given free samples of those meds. Free samples and free trips to Hawaii should not factor into play, IMHO. Here is a link that might be useful: Kick Backs?