I went on medicare on 11-01-12. They would not fill my benicar medicine, until they spoke to the doctor to see why I needed it. It was during the holidays, and he was not going to be in the office until Monday. I went for 4 days without medication, until they could speak with him. I told them, I have been taking it since Dec 1996 when I had my bypass surgery, didn't make a diffrence. They told me that if I needed the medication, I could pay $147 and buy it. They will not let me get a 90 day supply, I have to go every 30 days now and get medication. I can no longer get it at HEB ( they are not approved by medicare, and it cost more to get medication there) I have to get it at CVS, Walgreens, or Wal-Mart. Yep I can tell you all about medicare part D. The summary they sent said I paid $81 for the benicar, and they paid $51 for a 30 day supply. I only paid $5 for it. I am not even going to question them about that. Barbra

He was signed into hospitals as DNR at everybodys urging because of his age and conditions. Nurse initially noted No heroics resulting in Long Term Machine support, feedings Ok .. something like that. Bit of a ramble / Update... Dad ended up about two months in hospital - evenly split in 2 different hospitals. Diagnosis and treatment for dyspagia(swallowing prob), COPD(broncidus), generalized weakness. And he aquired pneumonis almost instantly in hospital. They blamed it on asperation. Which I wouldnt doubt as the nurses and aids didnt seem to keep in mind he had asperation risks. From so much time in hospital beds, Dad's lost abilities to transfer to wheelchair and what little use he had with his walker to go pottie is gone completely right now. Old left stroked leg has started pulling up after about three weeks in hospital and he can't seem to control now very much. He is getting some in home physical therapy, supposedly 60days worth, three times per week - hopefully will get him a bit mobile. Sent him home from hospital with a catheter, to be removed day one at home by a nurse... He didnt pee all day after she removed it... nurse couldnt get new one reinserted that evening ,,, ambulance trip to ER to reinsert. Apparently no peeing is pretty serious stuff. ER/Hospital lab called about four days later,,, has a urinary tract infection(Klebsiella). They called in prescription for Horse size pills for 10 days, supposed to fix it. Still has that catheter - GP doc appointment in a couple days. Maybe he'll tell nurse to take it out again. Had 2 poops after first arriving at home from Kindred. One massive one. Then five days no poop at all. Back to ER. They cleaned him out with long tube enema...soft stool/xrayed no blockages . Perscribed 30cc milk of magnesia twice daily. Tonight will be third day no poop again. Geeze. First hospital tried about a week of physical therapy right after inserting stomach tube,,, all the while his ankles were swollen big, he was very tired, on antibiotics with pneumonia (MRSA). All the while in 1st hospital therapy wing he was really sick - that wing apparently is with unskilled nurses? ... finally doc moved him to skilled care room and potent antibiotics. Leg started retracting then. Discovered his feeding tube leaking,, not sealing right at stomach penetration... mechanical fault perhaps... removed old one, gave him a new one. Hospital Doc gave him a choice after about a month,, Has severe bronchidus(COPD),, Pneumonia. He's not getting better... he could send him home and die with hospice care, or take a very slim chance send him to Kindred (hospital) which specializes in lung desease and phy-therapy,, to finish off a second dose of extra stong antibiotics to see if they could clear the pneumonia,, along with they could give him longer physical thereapy there to try and get him at least transfering back into wheelchair. Kindred apparently is one of two hospitals in SE with some kind of super extended Medicaid or Medicare which apparently regular hospital was trying to get rid of him because time with insurance was up. 1st Hospital Case managers asked me a couple times about where to discharge him to Hospice while he was still being treated. I would say well he's scheduled for tests to try to fix him, why would you discharge him ? Anyhow Dad told Doc he wanted to try to get better. That apparently bought him a few more weeks of care in Kindred. Now he's home,, wow, lots to care for right now. Wish he could get into the car for a haircut and doc visits.

Well, things are worse. He does have a urinal but just keeps getting up during the night. He's not sure what he wants or where he's going. Our AC is not cooling as of 9:30 last night so opened the doors and such and have the ceilig fans going on high. He went zooming out to the deck saying he had to go to the bathroom. I thought he was going down the stairs but was able to stop him. I am staying up all night and getting in a nap during the day. I am really dragging. My daughter has been pleading for me to get Hospice involved. I guess I'm just so tired, I'd sign up now but think they might not appreciate it on a sunday and at 5:50 am. :O) I think this has to do with my feeling guilty as if I'm giving up on him. I still have not been able to talk to the cardivascular assistant. Always busy or not available. I'll have to make a decision without my questions answered. I am extremely disappointed in them for not talking to me. She's the one that said they would be there to help me any way they can. Yeah right!!! I have accepted the fact I cannot do it all myself and need help. It just seems selfish to consider my needs. So much I want to do that I enjoy but can't. That leads to resenting the situation. He made the wrong choices after starting with heart issues in 83 by not listening to the doctors and continued to ignore their advice through the years to some extent. I get angry about WHY. WHY am I having to give up everything because he made the wrong decisions. Then I feel so bad for even thinking that. Like being on a yo-yo. I'm feeling things that I shouldn't. I will sign up for Hospice tomorrow as it just can't continue as it is. I just have to find a way to convince him I need help. I've tried explaing that my legs and feet are having spasms from the neuropathy and the bulged discs are so much worse now, He just doesn't want a stranger in our home. Just have to find a way to convince him. Well this ol' lady has rambled much to much. I can't begin to tell all of you how much you have helped me. Just feel so alone at times but you have been there with advice, suggestions and reference info. Thank you so much. Lynn

It has been over two years since this post was written. Here is a quick update. We tried two assisted living facilities, we did a nursing home, we did three group homes, and during this time she's had a big hospitalization, so there was the acute care and a rehab hospital. We hired four different in-home aides to help. One ripped us off for about 40 thousand dollars. You read that right. Forty Grand. She'd take my MIL to the hairdressers or out to lunch, only she was stopping at the bank for my MIL and would take a few thousand each trip. She cleaned my MIL out from her savings. And, she took some antique linens, some jewelry from my MIL and me. She took some Polish Pottery from my china cabinet, and basically, had a field day at our expense. (Yes, there are police reports. Only no prosecutions as my MIL is the primary witness and she is useless and the aide swears that it was all given to her as gifts.) One aide was horrible and we canned her after two weeks of paying her to sit and drink coffee and do nothing, the other two were okay, but not worth the money or time. As soon as my MIL would say she didn't want a shower or whatever, they felt compelled to honor her patient rights. The facilities, to a last one all failed. My MIL was a horrible fit for each one and ended up turning me into the state, the county, and to adult protective services for abuse. I have had five intense and complete investigations due to my MIL's claims (proven to be lies after investigations.. oh gee, she'd lie?? I call her "The Patron Saint of All Holy Liars), and all of them proved my MIL has progressive dementia and that not only am I not abusive to her (or anyone), but that I am the standard bearer or the gold standard of in-home care giving and wouldn't it be great if everyone was as good as I am. Yea, why doesn't everyone give up their lives for the demented aims of the demented. So, my MIL is still here. The granddaughter is going to be 4 years old soon. I spend as much time as I can with our granddaughter and make every effort to make the basic care for my MIL but to stay away from her as much as possible. My MIL is worse than she was, but is stable and healthy here. She is quite happy to see her son everyday and she gets on the telephone with her friends and goes on and on about what a horrible woman I am. I don't cry as much, I don't complain as much, and I don't lash out for a life much anymore. I have come to accept that I am worthless and will have to either wait until she finally dies or I get the balls up myself to walk out on my husband and kiss this dream good bye. Because.. this dream is a nightmare. Oh yea, a couple of her friends have come here to rescue her from me. They believed her stories. One even came with her adult daughter my age and a traveling caregiver to help with the transfer to take my MIL with them and out of my evil clutches. When they saw the truth, they were shocked and ashamed. And, they LEFT HER! I would have been thrilled to have had them take her! But, they said they wouldn't be able to give her the care she needs.. BS! They saw what a wicked old crone she was and didn't want her in their lives. We've never heard from them again!! So, two years down the road and my life is as bad, if not worse. She's either not fit or been kicked out of every facility we've tried. I could tell you the graphic accounts, but trust me on this.. you don't want to have to read it. It is hard to find any happiness in life at all. And, I know that she is going to be here until I die. Not her.. me. And, my death is something I look forward to now. Amazing how much life can change in two years..