skip to main content

drug addiction

17 years ago

I'm really worried about my son. I think he is addicted to crystal meth. Is there any hope for him ? Can they really get him off of it ?He isn't a kid, he's 36 yrs old and is also an alcoholic. Please tell me there is hope.What can I do for him, I haven't heard from him in months but plan to call him soom. please say a prayer, I'm so desperate.

Thank you

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (14)

socks
17 years ago
There is no worry like a mother's worry, is there?! Even when our "kids" are grown and gone. I'm sure there is hope, Clairdo. Take care.
zoezoe
17 years ago
Go to http://p073.ezboard.com/bmethamphetamineabusedisussionforum.

Click on general discussion and post any question/concerns you have regarding your son. The majority of the members are ex-meth addicts and are there to help.

Good luck, you and your son are in for a rough ride.
Related Discussions
New to the forum...
Q
Comments (4)
I am so sorry for your loss and your feeling of guilt. You must understand that you are not responsible for the life choices your sister made.It is too bad that you couldn't reach into her heart and set her on the right path but the path she took was of her making.Your sister knows that you love her because your wouldn't have cared enough to try to help her if you didn't.Drugs do terrible things to people and they get caught in a whirl-pool that they just don't have the strength to climb out of. You did what you could and even though you were not able to help she knows you tried and I'm sure she loves you for that. She is with Jesus now and not in any more pain. Please try not to beat yourself up and to forgive yourself, you did your best and your sister knows that and loves you for it.Thoses of us left behind always have the hardest time because our loved ones are at peace now and we have to keep remembering that. Put all your strength into your nephew now and see if you can get him to see himself as he is and much Good Luck. God Bless you, I send you hugs.
...See More
Dh's strange confession
Q
Comments (25)
While the kids from divorced homes might suffer, kids living with unhappy parents probably suffer too. Bnice's situation reflects that, to some degree. I don't know if I could stand growing up knowing that my mom basically stuck it out and suffered that many years. Actually, that is about the situation my mother and SD are in right now - she's probably been unhappy with him the entire time and boy oh boy can I see why; I would respect her more for having the guts to leave, rather than stay in a situation that makes her unhappy. But kids are still aware of a problem even though you may not know they are aware. At some point, if he is doing drugs, they may know about that too - and depending on their age, may do drugs WITH him. I can't imagine living in a situation where you are treated like dirt day in, day out. There is some degree of crap I'll put up with from my husband, and we both have tempers - but I do draw the line somewhere. While I know he is under a lot of pressure - he essentially lives where he works and is with students almost 18 hours a day, has a master's thesis to finish - this is still no reason to take your life's frustrations out on someone. At some point you have to have self respect, because if he doesn't respect you, who will? Especially if you have daughters. Because as we've seen many times, history repeats itself. I have a friend who's mother got pregnant at 16. The mother married him, but her mother forced them to break up because she was too young. Now my friend has no idea who her father really is (her mom refuses to talk about it). Now my friend's daughter has a teenage daughter by a man she got pregnant with, was married to for a short time, and also didn't reveal the father for many, many years. For women, it can be an endless cycle - which you probably know, since you've been in an abusive relationship before. For the sake of your children, if there's any chance he's doing drugs, your kids don't deserve to have that kind of negative influence. You don't deserve to be treated that way, either. As far as a divorce, I bet if you can prove that he's doing drugs then that would give you custody leverage big time. I would talk to a lawyer again and find out what your options are. A lot could have changed since the last time you spoke with one. Good luck!
...See More
My family is driving me insane!!!
Q
Comments (3)
That does sound like a nightmare. What a mess. Did sister #1 end up returning the gifts? I can understand being upset, embarrassed and humiliated and not wanting to have to tell everyone and cancel the shower, but rather hoping it was pre-wedding stress. It was wrong of her but, IMO, at least a bit understandable. If she didn't return the gifts that is not understandable; that is just plain mercenary and wrong. How upsetting with sister #2. I don't think it's best to stop talking to her, though, as tempting as it might be right now. Definitely no talking to him, or about him, or about troubles caused by him.... but I think she needs to feel that there are still people there for her when she (hopefully) decides to leave him. As for why she is back with him, well, that's easy. All of you just don't understand him and won't give him a (nother) chance. No doubt he has assured her that A) He's sorry, B) It's not his fault because he was on drugs, and C) He'll never do it again. And he really means it this time! This time will be different! Her love will change him! And they'll all live happily ever after. We were the ones who had to help her pay bills when he ripped her off, we are the ones who had to drive her to the ghetto to pick up her car after he stole it and then sold it for drugs, I am the one who let her move in with her child so she could get back on her feet again after he left her in ruins. I think you need to have a family intervention, and explain that when, not if, he does it again, her child can (hopefully) stay with someone in the family, but she cannot. Explain that since she is a "big girl" who can do what she wants, that she is also going to be responsible for the consequences of her own choices, and that you are all not going to bail her out anymore. Is she aware that if she is living with a using drug-addict, baby-daddy or not, CYS is liable to come and remove the child from them both?
...See More
This is what I'm dealing with - Just Venting!
Q
Comments (2)
Isn't she the one who said she "just wasn't ready to have him" at her home when he got out of the hospital? reminds me of a puzzle I once read. You have 2 sisters, one of whom has just died. When you go to your sister's funeral, you meet a guy who's the most gorgeous, intriguing, attractive man you ever saw. but you don't meet up with him, & no one else seems to know who he is. Next day, you kill your other sister. Why? answer: to see if the guy shows up for another family funeral. Some people really are like that- other people have value only in the benefit they provide for the person. What is stepson's mother thinking? that Emily thinks she (mom) is cool. His mother likes the limelight, & she doesn't have a clue that her son, or anybody, is a real live person with needs & vulnerabilities, a person who is entitled to be respected & cared for. & really... she doesn't care. She's missing that part, she doesn't know how to care, & she is not interested in learning how to care. Talking to her about it is like speaking Chinese (or Greek, if she happens to speak Chinese); she just doesn't get it. As far as she's concerned, he's just another member of her supporting cast... or maybe just a backdrop at this point- Right now Emily may be playing the second banana role in a more satisfying way. You or hubs need to discuss this with your stepson, to give him some insight & therefore some means of protecting/defending himself. He's 18 years old, plenty old enough to grasp the facts & plenty old enough to be entitled to the facts, & he already has a tremendous amount of damage from living with this. He is going to have to look out for his own safety & look out for his interests & welfare when he's with her. just had a thought; maybe he likes Emily because she seems familiar to him. She supposedly likes him, yet she does all the things that are bad for him, & he accepts it. It's a role he's accustomed to playing; he knows his lines, he responds to the cues. I wish all of you the best.
...See More
nanatofourgirls
17 years ago
Dear clairdo2, YES,YES,YES ther is hope. just trust in the Lord the is bigger than all the drugs. my brother stared using everything when he was 15 or 16,it has been some long years. he is 50 now, and just getting his life together. he has alot of health problems, but with the dr and metadone he seems like my brother again. we just keep holding him up to the Lord always. anything is within our reach with God. my prayers are with you . have a blessed day.nanatofourgirls(nana)
hunter_tx
17 years ago
This is a terrible problem to deal with because you can see how destructive he is being to himself, but he may not be able to see it. My own son had his own brush with drugs, and fortunately, he decided to go clean on his own at the age of about 22. The primary problem you are dealing with is that if he has no desire to get his life together, then it will be a extremely difficult. Even if he does want to change, it will be the hardest thing he's probably ever done. Most of it depends on where he is mentally and emotionally. If he has the will, then you can provide emotional support. I wish you luck, and I hope your son will come around. This is one of the most painful things a parent can deal with.
Mrs H
catherinet
17 years ago
Hi Clair,
My heart aches for you.
I'm not up on what's legal to do and what's not.....as far as forcing him to go into detox. You might look into that. Is he married? You might have to do an intervention thing. Please make some calls to a drug rehab place and find out what you might be able to do.
My brother was a drug addict when he was in his 20's. He finally made it through, with the help of several addiction centers and half-way houses. Its a rough row to hoe, but it IS possible. Good luck to you and your son Clair.
wildchild
17 years ago
What you can do for him is NOTHING other than be willing to be there for him if he should decide to seek treatment. You must not enable him. That means never give him money or help pay the bills. That means if you buy him presents you remove the tags so he cannot return them for cash. It means you continue to love him but not his habit nor the actions that result from his habit.

You cannot get him off it. It is out of your hands. You CAN help him best by helping yourself. Get yourself to Al anon or Narc anon now. These groups are for families and friends of the addicted. You will not only recieve the emotional support you need to get through this but also the tools you need to help your son the best way possible. Please go. Make that call. Look up Alcoholics Anonymous and they will help you find a meeting nearby. They are everywhere. Urge other family members to attend but if they won't go YOU be the one to go.

Prayer is fine. But remember God helps those who help themselves. Do what you need to do. make that call, go to that meeting. I watched my my MIL pray and enable my brother-in-law straight into the grave.

You must take care of yourself. You must learn how to deal with this tragic cicumstance. The people on this forum can offer you thier caring thought and prayers. But you really need to get to an Al anon group to get the real assistance you need. Also if your son has other mental health issues as many substance abusers do contact NAMI (it's on the web. They offer support not only for the mentally ill but also for their friends and families. Go now. Take care. i hope your son is one of those who overcomes his addiction. I really do but you cannot do it for him.
clairdo2
Original Author
17 years ago
Thank you all for the support about my son. He called me a couple of nights ago after not having heard from him in months. He told me he was running and hiding because his life was in danger. He said if he didn't have fifteen hundred dollars right away he was gone so we got really scared and sent him the money. After we did it we wondered if we should have. But my daughter who is not too far from him (we are 2000 miles away) got a call from him saying he paid his debt and was willing to go to rehab. I really think he got a good scare so hopefully he will go through with it. Please say a prayer...
socks
17 years ago
You must be so worried, Clairdo. Hope he is serious about rehab. Best wishes.
Delora88
9 years ago
Good luck! You have to be strong!
dreamgarden
9 years ago
"He told me he was running and hiding because his life was in danger. He said if he didn't have fifteen hundred dollars right away he was gone so we got really scared and sent him the money."

This might just be a ruse to get you to send money so he can buy more Meth.

I wouldn't send anymore money. I'd offer to pay for rehab or a place to stay instead.

I really feel for people who have loved ones on Meth. It seems to be worse than heroin or cocaine. They say that Meth produces a far better buzz than orgasm. No wonder they will do anything to get a fix. I've read about addicts attending the funerals of people who were taking drugs for a terminal illness, coming to to rob the house while everyone was at the funeral. It also causes changes in the brain. It can take up to a year to get back to 'normal'.

Really grimy things go on in a Meth users life. Nothing I'd want to be near... Please warn your daughter to be careful.

Links that might be useful:

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/meth/faqs/

http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/2005-11-24/news/meth-and-sex/full/
maifleur01
9 years ago
You are aware that the original postings were from 2006.
emma
9 years ago
I am sorry I can't give you any hope. If I were you I would find an organization that helps family members of addicts. They will help you adjust to the situation.

My sis is not addicted to drugs, but she has an addictive personality. She is addicted to cigarettes, she quit those went to alcohol, gained weight, went back on cigarettes. Now she is addicted to cigarettes, booze and coffee.
Konrad___far_north
9 years ago
Well.. Cigarettes and Alcohol in my mind is called a drug. I hope that Alcohol will be targeted and stamped out in public like it was done with smoking. Hope she gets help soon.
Clairdo2,..hope your son got though this and the help he needed.
emma
9 years ago
Konrad, I think you know what I meant. Illegal drugs!!

Related Stories

DESIGN FOR GOOD At-Risk Teens Get a Well-Designed Home and Real Hope

By Annie Thornton

Designers and other volunteers create an apartment to keep older foster kids off the streets, off drugs and on a path to a better life

GARDENING FOR BUTTERFLIES Be a Butterfly Savior — Garden for the Monarchs

By Benjamin Vogt / Monarch Gardens

Keep hope, beauty and kindness alive in the landscape by providing a refuge for these threatened enchanters

COMMUNITY Community Building Just About Anyone Can Do

By Vanessa Brunner

Strengthen neighborhoods and pride of place by setting up more public spaces — even small, temporary ones can make a big difference

LIFE How Your Landscaping Can Keep Burglars Away

Prevent home break-ins with strategic landscaping and good practices instead of menacing — and maybe less effective — measures

MAN SPACES Houzz Tour: Rocking Out in a Converted Stable

By Mary Jo Bowling

Get an all-access look at a decked-out Connecticut music space a rock star would love

FEEL-GOOD HOME Is Your Bedroom Designed for a Good Night’s Sleep?

By Laura Gaskill

Find out how the right nightstands, bedding, rugs, TV and storage can help you get more restful slumber

HEALTHY HOME 16 Ideas for a Healthy, Feel-Good Home

By Laura Gaskill

Making these small tweaks and bigger shifts at home can help you thrive everywhere you go

GARDENING AND LANDSCAPING 3 Ways to Bring the Heat to Outdoor Living Spaces

By Matt Clawson

Here’s what to know about surviving winter’s bite with an outdoor fireplace, fire pit or heat lamp

CURB APPEAL Modern Materials: Copper, Architecture's Natural Beauty

The rich patina is just the beginning — copper for home exteriors is strong, shapable and highly recyclable

LIFE 'Not My Precious Books!' — Pain-Free Ways to Declutter Your Library

By Alison Hodgson

Have your books and neatness too, with these ideas for paring down and straightening up a beloved collection

Sponsored

More Discussions

Question regarding Basmati rice calories

19